Fluctuating Homesickness
 

Do any of you get this? Some days (or weeks) I feel like i'm content, happy where I am, why would I want to go back home? I can stay here and be near my family, etc etc, look at all the fun stuff we are doing etc. Other days I want to get on the next plane out. I know long term I do want to go back to Malta, but my thoughts fluctuate very often on how long I can "tolerate" staying here in Canada before I bite the bullet and go. Do I go as soon as i'm out of high school, which is as soon as I can, with no plan, little money, etc, etc, just because I want to? Or do I do the sensible thing and stay for 4 years of university? Will I even be able to tolerate 4 more years of "education" , whether it is in Canada or abroad? (Given my current thoughts on school and the education system in general and the way it is administered)

My mum gets really mad at me when i'm looking at uni programs/schedules and programs like where you work during the holidays as an apprentice of some sort and get paid etc , and my main concern is how much time and money there will be left for a holiday back home! :lol:

Anyway the tl;dr of this post - do you guys have fluctuating thoughts on how long you need/want to spend in your current country of residence before heading home? Some days that are good, some bad.....

The thing is I know in a months time i'll be moaning cos i'm back in school, summers over, its already cooling down and gearing up for winter, etc. That's the "Want to get on the next plane out" mode, and it usually lasts from Sept till about the end of April/beginning of May. :eek:

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

As there's talk of school not restarting until October this year, why don't you hop on a plane and go live in Malta for 2 months? Get a job bussing tables, cleaning pools, anything, but work solidly for 2 months -- not a holiday -- and get a feel for what it will be like to live there.

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

Maybe you should look at how often these feelings occur. Are you happy most of the time in Canada? How long does the homesickness last? How bad is it?

You know my thoughts on this subject.... For me the periods of homesickness are debilitating and regular. I realised that Wales is my home with everything that it entails there, and that while I might get used to living here, it would always be my home. But I also thought that getting used to living here would come with an increasing depression honestly.

However, I am significantly older than you, and had a very well established life to leave. Your life is still transient and changing wherever you might live actually. The benefit of being young. Getting your education is a very good thing IMO.

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

Yes absolutely I fluctuate especially now in summer when the weather is beautiful and I can get out! Long term goal is to move back to UK but we are also older and more wiser now. We have realised that we need as much money as possible to retire on and that means that we may have to stay longer to sell house for best price and not be in too much of a hurry. Saying that we would be even more wiser to stay for another 7 years so we can get the pensions we will accumulate paid to us in UK and be eligible for this long term. :eek: But then is it about money only! Then there are days I think we should try moving to another area of VI and retire where it has more "life" and then see how we feel about moving back. BTW my OH is not really keen to go back he is doing it for me which puts more pressure on me :confused:

You on the other hand are just starting out and I would strongly recommend that you stay to get some sort of university degree or career established because if you go now and wait on tables or find some simple job as a school leaver, you may regret this in time when you are still waiting tables and your friends are in careers earning a good income and settled with families. As you are here in Canada perhaps get some further education unless you are able to go to school in Malta and get a degree there. I do think though that your Canadian further education will help your long term plans.

What are your parents thoughts on this? Having them 100% behind you in your decisions will make life a lot easier in the future!

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

I need to add that this whole process can be "all consuming" and I am beginning to think I spend too much time thinking about the future and not about today!

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

Ha I wish. Mum and Dad won't let me do that, but we are going for a holiday next year.... Only 2-3 weeks though so not enough to do what you say. Although I totally agree and would do it if I could!

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

At the moment, i'm happy. Most of the time, I am not. The 5-6 months of crappy weather really gets under my skin, school gets under my skin, etc. But in the summer time when its reasonably warm out, and I don't have school, dad is off work, etc, i'm happy. But that's only 2 months of the year:eek:

Some days are "OK" , some days the day is lost on doing anything productive because i'm too busy plotting away and thinking about the future.

I agree with getting my education, I know I need to, because in the end it will work out better. In my field I can have a job with a company that allows me to live in Malta whilst working for various European clients from home as well as traveling directly to those places. A family friend does so here in Canada, except he travels across Canada and US, rather than Europe. And that's the only way to do it for me really, as jobs working locally in Malta, even with a university degree, job experience et al, do not pay much at all.

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

If that's the case, then you're pretty much waiting 'til you're 18 before you can do anything without your parents' permission. So time to get on with your schooling. When you're 18, the world will be your oyster but until then, perhaps you should concentrate on your current friends and your education.

And why is this in "Moving Back to the UK"?

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

I agree so much here! In summer I am happy like I said in my above post.....
This really resonates... If it was all about money i'd stay in Canada, because that's where the money is and it would be really easy to get a good paying job here. But it isn't about money for me. Its about being at home and happy with the place I live in. I don't find that here and no well-paying job will ever change that. Especially in winter! :eek:

Yes, sometimes I think i'd like to live in Montreal, a more European like area of the country..... But then I remember my problems with Canada will be ever present there. The winter will be worse than here in Ont, the people are largely the same sort of attitude, and it will be pretty similar to city life in Ont. Not what I want.
Yeah, that's the problem. My parents think i'm rather stupid to move away from Canada for reasons like weather and the attitude of people. Even though university is free in Malta to Maltese citizens, I won't be able to go that route as the degree I would go for isn't offered at the country's university, and my parents wouldn't support me like they would here. So my only options are to up sticks and burn bridges at 18, or to stick it out through uni and leave in a more peaceful manner. I'll very likely do the latter.

But where the frustration comes in is their lack of wanting to compromise. They don't want me to spend uni holidays in Malta, because "you will get paid more in Canada, even on minimum wage doing a part time job."

I had to twist and turn for them to agree to visit next summer, etc. They won't compromise. They simply do not accept that I don't like it here and want to leave. They think they can somehow "convince" me that Canada is better and that if they keep me here long enough i'll get used to it and give up the idea of leaving.

^^^:goodpost:

With the exception of now, summertime, I spend 99% of my time thinking about the future. I can't enjoy the "now" because the things I am forced to do in the "now" (read:school) , I don't enjoy doing. I'm one of those rare kids who has absolutely hated school since the first day of kindergarten, and its been a long 11 years with that...... Three to go.:eek:

I really do hope university will be better than primary/high school.

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

Pretty much... And even then i'm still living under their roof so certain privliges can be revoked if I do things they don't like . Really the only time i'll get to be doing what I want is when i'm fully independent from them and their finances. And that will only come when I have a decent paying job, back home.

Because the only people who participate in the Malta section are newbies that only ask one question and don't come back to post, and myself.....

MBTTUK has a lot of like minded / homesick people like me in it, so I posted it in here.

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

Ain't that the truth.:nod:

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

Once you're done with education, your life is going to be your own to take - prepare yourself well then wave goodbye to your folks. They won't understand but that's their problem. If you don't like where you live (get citizenship just in case) then move! Simples!

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

+1

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

:)

Yup, i'm afraid that's how it'll have to be. I think they'll understand once they come and visit and see how happy I am there... :nod:

Thankfully I do have some family that understand and support me in this, and will most likely be living there when I get around to moving.

Citizenship already taken care of, dual Maltese/Canadian :cool:

Re: Fluctuating Homesickness
 

As feelbritish pointed out you can spend so much time thinking about the future and forget to live each day. While its your goal to move focus on the here and now. Get your education, enjoy the time your are spending in Canada. Allowing yourself to feel happy and make the most of Canada doesn't mean you will end up staying. You can't predict the future and there's the possibility you may change your mind in a few years where you want to be. so dont stress and live in the moment!