Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Moving back or to the UK
Reload this Page >

First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

Old Jan 4th 2012, 7:13 pm
  #31  
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
 
Brat1's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Location: Bishopbriggs - now Bethel, Connecticut
Posts: 1,439
Brat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

Originally Posted by Michael
I didn't mean to offend you and that is why I said "bit". You have never been over the top like a drama queen but I meant that you seem to get yourself over worked up about things such as the lawsuit (maybe that would be because you didn't understand that is fairly normal in the US and very little to concern yourself about).

Now as far as your illness, everybody would get themselves very worked up about something like that and I never considered that as drama.

As I said, I think you are overall a very positive person.
That I would agree with, and I am the kind of person who gets worked up about things, only since I've not been working I have to add. When I was a Funeral Director, I didn't have time to stress about anything more than work, so I think it's all part of having too much time on my hands. Or maybe I just spend too much time on BE and FB
Brat1 is offline  
Old Jan 4th 2012, 7:16 pm
  #32  
 
Poppy girl's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Reno Nevada
Posts: 15,917
Poppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
Maybe I should have posted this in the Pet Peeves thread...but 'the holidays' really brasses me off.

It's Christmas and New Year...the holidays are in the summer months. You remember sex, sun, sand and sangria.
No its a vacation in the summer
Poppy girl is offline  
Old Jan 4th 2012, 7:34 pm
  #33  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Michael's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 10,678
Michael has a reputation beyond reputeMichael has a reputation beyond reputeMichael has a reputation beyond reputeMichael has a reputation beyond reputeMichael has a reputation beyond reputeMichael has a reputation beyond reputeMichael has a reputation beyond reputeMichael has a reputation beyond reputeMichael has a reputation beyond reputeMichael has a reputation beyond reputeMichael has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

Originally Posted by Brat1
That I would agree with, and I am the kind of person who gets worked up about things, only since I've not been working I have to add. When I was a Funeral Director, I didn't have time to stress about anything more than work, so I think it's all part of having too much time on my hands. Or maybe I just spend too much time on BE and FB
So it appears that is was just a choice of bad words on my part.
Michael is offline  
Old Jan 4th 2012, 7:35 pm
  #34  
SUPER MODERATOR
 
Jerseygirl's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 87,988
Jerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

Originally Posted by Poppy girl
No its a vacation in the summer




Jerseygirl is offline  
Old Jan 4th 2012, 7:39 pm
  #35  
 
Poppy girl's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Reno Nevada
Posts: 15,917
Poppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl




You know me too well my friend
Poppy girl is offline  
Old Jan 4th 2012, 11:56 pm
  #36  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,847
HarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
You remember sex, sun, sand and sangria.
Ah - the classic quartet!!!

Don't do all 4 of them at the same time though...

... er, allegedly.
HarryTheSpider is offline  
Old Jan 5th 2012, 1:06 am
  #37  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Vienna, Northern Virginia
Posts: 152
katybluewater is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

Oh Brat1 - this sounds too familiar. None of the family come over here to visit , so we feel its our duty, seeing as we moved away, and the grandparents are getting older etc. It absolutely gets my goat when we have paid a huge amount to fly over and stay in a hotel, and then everyone expects you to run around to their houses. So now when we fly over we let the grandparents know exactly when and we will be seeing them so they know what to expect. We also say to our brothers and sisters that if they want to catch up we will be in a certain pub/restaurant and could they join us - makes things a lot easier. P.S hope you are on the mend and that 2012 will be a lot kinder to you! xx
katybluewater is offline  
Old Jan 5th 2012, 2:19 am
  #38  
Senior Member
 
penguinbar's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2008
Location: Manhattan
Posts: 2,913
penguinbar has a reputation beyond reputepenguinbar has a reputation beyond reputepenguinbar has a reputation beyond reputepenguinbar has a reputation beyond reputepenguinbar has a reputation beyond reputepenguinbar has a reputation beyond reputepenguinbar has a reputation beyond reputepenguinbar has a reputation beyond reputepenguinbar has a reputation beyond reputepenguinbar has a reputation beyond reputepenguinbar has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

My inlaws were visiting from Scotland this summer . They spent over 4000 pnds on a cruise but nickled and dimed the whole time they were here and were just plain miserable. When we visited last year we could only go out with them if dinner was 2 for 10 pnds.
penguinbar is offline  
Old Jan 5th 2012, 2:26 am
  #39  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 12,851
Giantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

I'm convinced a lot of these issues relate back to the idea that "you left us, therefore the onus is on you if you want to see us". As I mentioned earlier, I see with one close relative now and I certainly used to see it with my in-laws.
Giantaxe is offline  
Old Jan 5th 2012, 2:44 am
  #40  
BE Forum Addict
 
lisa67's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Toasty in Texas
Posts: 4,240
lisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

Living over here certainly makes you realize who your real allies are.
As someone has already said, you can't change how people react only how you deal with them.
Over the years I've learned to go and visit who I want to see and if people want to see us badly enough they'll arrange that.
Sorry to hear about the poopy end to your Christmas visit though!
lisa67 is offline  
Old Jan 5th 2012, 12:27 pm
  #41  
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
 
Brat1's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Location: Bishopbriggs - now Bethel, Connecticut
Posts: 1,439
Brat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

I definitely got the feeling that the whole scenario started because we had been to see other members of the family and that's what I don't get, it wasn't a competition to see who we spend most time with and I certainly didn't think that I needed "permission" to visit certain family members. I suppose, reading all your replies, that this is a common issue and my big problem now, is how we deal with it. We are now going to be hit with the fact that they didn't get a chance to say goodbye to the kids, and somehow this will be our fault, and you know what, I've bitten my tongue so much over the last 20 years and I'm done with their bullshit, so I think it's time for a few home truths, if the situation arises. It's a shame, because I would have thought that they would have wanted to make every second count while we were together, obviously their own self importance is more important and at the end of the day, they might just have ruined any relationship that we had.......

Thanks for the replies, because I know a lot of you guys have gone through similar over the years and I still feel my future lies here, at least for the foreseeable future
Brat1 is offline  
Old Jan 5th 2012, 9:10 pm
  #42  
BE Forum Addict
 
CitySimon's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Palmyra, NY
Posts: 2,130
CitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

Originally Posted by Brat1
I was first in to the house and immediately sensed an atmosphere, but never thought much about it. Wished my MIL a Happy New Year and she responded. Headed in to the living room where my FIL was and he was sitting in front of the TV. Went over to wish him a Happy New Year, where I was met with a refusal to wish me one back. I kind of looked surprised and then it happened - the launch in to how we hadn't spent enough time with them, the way we've treated them...... at which point I shouted on my hubby who came in to the living room and was then set upon with a barrage of abuse, in front of my 3 daughters, so my oldest who is 18 decided to stick up for her dad and got set upon also, tried to run out the door in floods of tears, only to be aprehended by his side kick who was waving a metal serving spoon she'd been washing, trying to stop her going out the door........ it was like something I've never witnessed before. My husband basically said that, that was it, we left and had the door slammed behind us. So, all 3 kids were in tears, hubby was eh, raging to say the least, and I was livid. What a shit end to a mostly wonderful holiday. We kind of knew that the amount of time we'd spend with them would never be enough but never expected what came out of his fathers mouth, especially in front of his grand daughters..
Sorry to hear you experienced that... All I can say is "been there"... I get it from my parents every time they come to visit... It's all about how they come to visit and we don't spend enough time with them. The fact that we work and have other commitments in our lives doesn't seem to matter to the situation.

When we go over to England, it's the same... The fact that we're trying to visit a lot of people on our short visits is apparently irrelevant to my parents and they try to tie us into spending all the time we have with them.

In a somewhat ironic twist, their efforts and protests about spending time with them have only served to make us not want to spend any time with them at all to the extent that even our five year old doesn't want them around.
CitySimon is offline  
Old Jan 5th 2012, 9:14 pm
  #43  
BE Forum Addict
 
CitySimon's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Palmyra, NY
Posts: 2,130
CitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond reputeCitySimon has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

Originally Posted by Giantaxe
"you left us, therefore the onus is on you if you want to see us"
Absolutely!
CitySimon is offline  
Old Jan 5th 2012, 9:31 pm
  #44  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,847
HarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond reputeHarryTheSpider has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

Well Brat1, look forward to a better 2012, I'm sure you will, and just revel in the fact that instead of the bunch of muppets back in Blighty, you can get far better quality abuse here on BE!!



Mrs HTS & I hope you have a cracking 2012!
HarryTheSpider is offline  
Old Jan 6th 2012, 11:49 am
  #45  
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
 
Brat1's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Location: Bishopbriggs - now Bethel, Connecticut
Posts: 1,439
Brat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....

Originally Posted by HarryTheSpider
Well Brat1, look forward to a better 2012, I'm sure you will, and just revel in the fact that instead of the bunch of muppets back in Blighty, you can get far better quality abuse here on BE!!

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-out0_uBCo0...rd+muppets.jpg

Mrs HTS & I hope you have a cracking 2012!


I just choked on my morning tea when I looked at that picture H!!! Thanks for that, I needed a laugh this morning - and a Happy New Year to you too!!!
Brat1 is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.