Lorry1

Hi all,
Well, as the title says, I'm just feeling really low at the moment.
Good friends of ours left here on Tuesday to return to England for good and it's made me feel really bad. I am happy for them of course but it's just sunk me into a deeper depression. I can't explain it.

We have been in Canada 4 and a half years. I have been homesick for 3 and a half years. Hubby has recently agreed to us going back. He doesn't want to as he loves it here, but he will for me as he knows how depressed I have been all these years.

We can't go back until summer 2013 as eldest has to finish school here. Hubby is networking like crazy so he can get a job to return to.

So, in 18 months, I am going home.
It just feels like such a long way off right now. I have to go through another couple of months of winter plus one more in winter 2012.
I just don't know how I'm going to get through at the moment

Sorry for the depreesing post. I just wanted to write a bit about how I'm feeling. Maybe this will help.

Anyone else feeling like shit?

Optimistic Pessimist

Hey Lorry

Nothing helpful to say I'm afraid. It sucks doesn't it?

gillyd65

Hi Lorry1 and Optimistic
In the same boat but have decided to do something about it now. Its really not for us as a family over here. Everybody back home have been so supportive we've had loads of offers of 'come stay with us' 'do you need some money to see you through' we'll fly out and help you pack' which has made us realise just what we had back there and the support network.
Can't really help either of you other than sending hugs across the net, but just to say once you can see the light at the end of the tunnel then try and 'enjoy' whats happening around you.
Difficult I know and homesickness is a killer, its just so physical as well as mental, great for losing weight!
I really do feel what you are both going through.

Optimistic Pessimist

So true....

gillyd65

Hi Optimistic
Have you finally sorted out a time frame?

jeannie in a bottle

Hi Lorry

Hey, look on the bright side - at least you are going home
I am in the same situation [but without the going home bit ...]. My husband loves it here, and says he would never want to move back to the UK if he didn't have to. I, meanwhile, would go back in a flash. We have had very different experiences since being here, which doesn't help the situation. He is a sweetheart though, and says if I am still unhappy by the end of this year, we will look to move elsewhere. Difficult decision though, as I can't see past the fact that one of us will be unhappy.

Anyway, glad you are heading home - all the best!

Optimistic Pessimist

Hi Gillyd65, yes all sorted and so excited. Fly out on Sunday. Friends have been incredibly supportive and I am so looking forward to seeing them all.

Like you, I decided that I didn't want to drag it out. So trusting my instincts and taking action. I am lucky as not tied down (not a good expression I know) by family etc.

Hope your planning is going well and your son enjoyed his trip back to the UK.

Lorry - To help keep you sane, you might want to start doing a little planning....it will help you feel better and there will be lots to do and time will pass.

All the best.

x

gillyd65

Well done you. I really do think sometimes you have to go with your gut instinct and when something doesn't feel right then change it. It is going to set us back financially but that means nothing in comparison to feeling like we do. Our son has a confirmed offer at sixth form in September, just waiting to hear from our daughters high school. We just cannot let go of what we had in the UK, mainly people, and I really do think to settle here and for it to be 'home' you really have to kind of shut off and let go. OH will set up business again, already has some work lined up and hopefully I can start work as well.
Best of luck, and have a happy and settled life.
Take care...

dollface

Where in Canada are you?

Lorry1

Hi all, thank you so much for the replies. It is horrible being in this situation, isn't it!?
We have to wait for my daughter to finish school as all her friends in England just finished their GCSE's last June but they don't do them here until 18!
If we moved back now, she would have nothing

Jeannie, My hubby was dead against it for the longest time. He said he would never move back to that cess pit if it was the last place on Earth!
Over time he started coming round as he saw how bad I was getting. I just cried a lot and he knew I was never going to settle here.

I have considered moving elsewhere in Canada or even to the states, and I may be happy there for a while, but I don't see the point in doing a big move again and in time still want to move back to England.

Dollface, I am in Nova Scotia. It is lovely here but just not for me and what I want at this time of life. I'm nearly 40, not dead yet

jeannie in a bottle

Jeannie, My hubby was dead against it for the longest time. He said he would never move back to that cess pit if it was the last place on Earth!
Over time he started coming round as he saw how bad I was getting. I just cried a lot and he knew I was never going to settle here.

I have considered moving elsewhere in Canada or even to the states, and I may be happy there for a while, but I don't see the point in doing a big move again and in time still want to move back to England.


Hope you don't mind me asking, but how does your husband feel about the move now? It seems like we have similar situations, so would appreciate any advice! I would move back tomorrow, but I think I would be racked with guilt if I dragged my OH to what he calls "Broken Britain" [Seems strange though, as he was quite happy there before we moved!]

How is he handling it?

sallysimmons

Lorry, I definitely agree with the suggestion to start planning and preparing, It will make the wait so much easier - plus, when the move does get closer, you'll be glad you did all that work. I made a project plan for the move a year ago and we started working our way through it. It definitely helped pass the time. I also started keeping notes on places I want to visit when we get back. That gave me something to look forward to. Hang in there - it really will fly by.

Lorry1

{QUOTE}Hope you don't mind me asking, but how does your husband feel about the move now? It seems like we have similar situations, so would appreciate any advice! I would move back tomorrow, but I think I would be racked with guilt if I dragged my OH to what he calls "Broken Britain" [Seems strange though, as he was quite happy there before we moved!]

How is he handling it?[/QUOTE]

Well at first he said just don't talk to him about it he would handle it in his own time. Now he is really ploughing himself into networking and finding work there. He even talks about where we could live which is a bonus

He still doesn't really want to go but I think it's coming along and he's getting use to it.

Sally, Thank you I will try my best to plan and enjoy the rest of my time here

jeannie in a bottle

Thanks Lorrie

Whereabouts are you hoping to move to? [says she with her nose pressed up against the UK window]

Lorry1

Well I would like to move to Oxfordshire, Hertfordshire or Buckinghamshire but likelyhood is we'll go back to Berkshire. We need an easy commute to London for hubby's work.