feeling guilty
 

We have lived in Canada for 4 years and my DH and I have made the decision to go home to UK in a few years when we are in a good financial position. We have 2 grown up kids over here and 1 daughter who lives in Uk with her fiance and 2 children. Our son and daughter can not understand why we would not want to retire here in Canada and our daughter in UK was hoping we would go back sooner and see our 2 grandkids grow up ( they are 2 and 5). Why do your kids make you feel so guilty sometimes?

Re: feeling guilty
 

Once you have grandkids that really does put the cat among the pigeons.

Personally I could do it, if I could take holidays or have them come on holidays to see me - looks like that is what I will be doing anyway as I anticipate one UK set and one Aus set. The way I do it is to not become too enmeshed with them but that is a hard fight against the Aus d-i-l who seems to think that we are there to be surrogate parents (they live in our granny flat at the moment) and she wants me to give up work so I can spend more time with the grandkids - going to happen NOT!

The older I get the more selfish I want to become - I have put my life and aspirations on hold while trying to give my kids the best start in life and now is the time for me and what I want to do. My d-i-l was put out when I went to UK while she was expecting #2 granddaughter - tough bickies!

Hope it all works out for you!

Re: feeling guilty
 

really funny to read your post, I have the opposite guilt trip feelings, I feel guilty about living so far away from the kids grandparents & extended family & will be moving back near them at the end of the year. All this guilt, who knows what we should all do with it :(

Re: feeling guilty
 

I wonder if it is an Australian trait to have high expectations over grandparents doing more.

I probably need a forum for support for selfish grandparents!

Re: feeling guilty
 

Nothing to do with nationality, some people are selfish, some aren't. Simple as that.

Re: feeling guilty
 

Living in Nova Scotia I see just how Canadians spend lots of family time together, and they do it because they love it. I love that close knit feel and I am so looking forward to having grandchildren because thats the way I want to continue family life with my sons.

I come from a pretty small family who lived only a few miles apart but do not have a close relationship. In fact, we rarely saw each other which is a great shame. My OH worked offshore for 18 years, I worked 25 hours a week and often struggled on my own for all that time. I could count on both hands the days my kids were babysat by grandma in all those years.

I would cherish a loving bond with my grandchildren and am looking forward to being a large part of their journey in life. If my sons moved away, then I would reconsider where I lived. I don't even want to think about them moving in two different directions :(

Re: feeling guilty
 

I don't think this is necessarily a Canadian thing - my family is like that and we're Brits. That's why I now feeling guilty over ever having left my mum, grandma, brother and cousins.

Exactly like me. I keep saying I'm sorry to my mum and she keeps saying 'don't be silly' but I can't help it. I don't know what I was thinking when I left them all that way. :(

Re: feeling guilty
 

Exactly like me. I keep saying I'm sorry to my mum and she keeps saying 'don't be silly' but I can't help it. I don't know what I was thinking when I left them all that way.



Know exactly what you mean, makes you appreciate what you have a whole lot more. For me especially since having our kids & the response to us returning has been so fantastic, I wonder why we didn't go home earlier?!