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A family seperated after move to Australia

A family seperated after move to Australia

Old Aug 7th 2008, 10:52 am
  #31  
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Default Re: A family seperated after move to Australia

A very brave & honest post!
I really wish you luck
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Old Aug 7th 2008, 9:20 pm
  #32  
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Default Re: A family seperated after move to Australia

Originally Posted by trottytrue
I am not sure I understand are you saying that even though your OH knows how unhappy you were in NZ he is still making plans to return? If thats the case you would be very wrong to go unless you think something this time will be different. This time when you leave it will be for good no going back or it will be you coming back on your own. If your children loved it so much then thats a good insentive for them to get a good education and make the move to NZ when they are out of school. Remember when your kids are grown up you will be on your own so really think about what you are about to do.
Sounds like your OH has not made a serious go of making it in England. I think you need to have a sit down with OH and tell him exactly how you feel before its too late.
hi thanx 4 the replies. hubby did not and still doesn't understand the impact that emmigration had on me. i just know in my heart i cannot go back, but feel under pressure 2 go 2 make the whole family happy, except myself. if we stay in the uk, hubby will resent my decision 2 stay here. my kids education is not a problem, only the youngest is school age and is home tutored. 2 daughters at college and 1 son working. i just wish it was someone else's decision.
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Old Aug 8th 2008, 8:19 am
  #33  
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Default Re: A family seperated after move to Australia

Originally Posted by Heavenlyscent
hi thanx 4 the replies. hubby did not and still doesn't understand the impact that emmigration had on me. i just know in my heart i cannot go back, but feel under pressure 2 go 2 make the whole family happy, except myself. if we stay in the uk, hubby will resent my decision 2 stay here. my kids education is not a problem, only the youngest is school age and is home tutored. 2 daughters at college and 1 son working. i just wish it was someone else's decision.

Heavenlyscent: You really must make the decision based on you yourself not your husband or children. I know that sounds selfish but your children are now almost grown up if they want to go the NZ they can go later. But for you it will be just another mistake and it will get harder to return.

Many years ago I moved to the US with my OH I really didnt like it so I moved back to the UK even though I was pregnant with my first child. My husband followed me a few months later, but after 4 years and two more children I was persuaded to give it another try. Even when I was at the airport I knew it was a mistake but I could not backdown at that point.
We lived in California and I began having panic attacks and just not feeling well, we moved to New England but that did not help the homesickness just moved with me. I wanted to return home but this time with 3 children I was not able to do it and my OH did not agree to move with me. I was stuck and have been for the last 30 years I did resign myself to the fact that I would not be able to go home, I settled for less but when I look back I think about what happened to me. I shriveled up inside and became insecure and never felt a part of any group. I was always known as the Brit with the funny accent. I think what happens when you are out of your comfort zone is you become what everyone else wants you to be. I just went along with the crowd. At home I would have been alot more outgoing.
Now 30 years on I sometimes think it maybe too late. As for children they are all grown up living their own lives and far away from us. So I am alone.
Do you really want to end up like me regretting the mistakes you made.
Your OH is English so he has it easier that my OH but please dont try and live your life for others. If you do go you will end up resent your OH. I would choose having my OH resent me but me having the life I wanted. Your along time dead.
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Old Aug 8th 2008, 8:24 am
  #34  
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Default Re: A family seperated after move to Australia

Happy4:

You were so brave and did the right thing. I wish I had done what you did all those years ago when I decided to stay in the US. I would not be living with regrets now. You will become a stronger person because of all you went through and years from now you will look back and heave a sigh of relife that you did not go back.
Good luck to you.
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Old Aug 11th 2008, 1:15 am
  #35  
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Default Re: A family seperated after move to Australia

Originally Posted by trottytrue
Heavenlyscent: You really must make the decision based on you yourself not your husband or children. I know that sounds selfish but your children are now almost grown up if they want to go the NZ they can go later. But for you it will be just another mistake and it will get harder to return.

Many years ago I moved to the US with my OH I really didnt like it so I moved back to the UK even though I was pregnant with my first child. My husband followed me a few months later, but after 4 years and two more children I was persuaded to give it another try. Even when I was at the airport I knew it was a mistake but I could not backdown at that point.
We lived in California and I began having panic attacks and just not feeling well, we moved to New England but that did not help the homesickness just moved with me. I wanted to return home but this time with 3 children I was not able to do it and my OH did not agree to move with me. I was stuck and have been for the last 30 years I did resign myself to the fact that I would not be able to go home, I settled for less but when I look back I think about what happened to me. I shriveled up inside and became insecure and never felt a part of any group. I was always known as the Brit with the funny accent. I think what happens when you are out of your comfort zone is you become what everyone else wants you to be. I just went along with the crowd. At home I would have been alot more outgoing.
Now 30 years on I sometimes think it maybe too late. As for children they are all grown up living their own lives and far away from us. So I am alone.
Do you really want to end up like me regretting the mistakes you made.
Your OH is English so he has it easier that my OH but please dont try and live your life for others. If you do go you will end up resent your OH. I would choose having my OH resent me but me having the life I wanted. Your along time dead.
Thanyou so much for yr support and I will come to a decision soon. Many thanks
Anne-Marie
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