Excited but terrifed
 

Hi everyone...I'm just going to rant...so I apologise ahead of time...LOL

As a 49 year old widowed female, about to make a HUGE move to head back to the UK after living in Australia and the USA, I'm understandably terrified. Not because I think I'm making the wrong decision - far from it. This is possibly the best decision I have made in a long time. :) I'm more concerned that it won't work and I'll end up having to come back to the US..lol.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with the US, so please don't think that. I've loved my time here, but since my husband passed away it just doesn't feel like home anymore, and especially more so since I went back to the UK for a holiday last year. At the airport ready to fly back to the US I was so upset and didn't want to get on the plane. Which is what made me decide to head 'home' to the UK. Plus Australia has never felt like home which is why I wouldn't go back there either.

Plus I have found from my time in both Australia and the US that I am definitely a 'cooler' climate sort of person..lol. The Arizona heat is killing me, and I was definitely healthier and fitter while in the UK, even for that brief amount of time. I don't whether it's the altitude or just the climate in the UK, but my skin was healthier, I had more energy and I didn't have as many headaches as I've had since I moved to the US. Which was all proven by the fact I could leave my holiday let and spend 6 hours just walking around..LOL

The hardest part is my age I think. I will be competing with all these young ones all vying for the same job. Thanks to loosing my job here in the US just before I went on my holiday last year, I've not been able to get another job. That's mostly due to the fact there are no jobs in my area, I don't have a car and without one it's impossible to get anywhere, especially as the local transportation system sucks. I'd have to walk an hour to catch a bus, and what would take normally just 30 minutes by car to get into town, takes 2.5hrs by bus.

I won't be able to rent a place on my own for at least a year, because I don't have a work or credit history in the UK, and won't have enough funds to simply pay 6 months rent in advance to a landlord. So I've organized a house share until I can get myself settled. :) I've chosen an area which I liked and one which has great transportation links (actually Zone 5 of the London underground/train service) I don't mind buses or trains or long commute times so travelling an hour to get to work doesn't bother me, although the cost might after a while..lol. I've actually decided to go back to the same area where I stayed on my holidays last year, because I really loved the area...great shops...great parks for those nice long walks etc.

Plus the reason I chose the area itself, rather than go totally out of London to somewhere North or South, is because of the job situation. Rightly or wrongly I'm presuming there would be more jobs available that are in my job skill range. I've been in the medical industry all of my life, as Unit Secretary at hospitals, medical receptionist, data entry etc, so by registering with a temp agency or two and trying really hard to network myself I hope it won't be too long before I'm once again getting an income and being a productive member of society so to speak. I'm open enough to going anywhere for a job and I think that will help.

So all I am waiting for right now is my new UK passport to arrive and I'm all set !

So I am terrified...lol. But excited ! :) I've tried desperately to get a job here, in order to supplement the funds I'm taking back to the UK, but no luck, and the longer I stay the more I am using up my savings. Luckily I am staying with friends right now or else I would be in a right pickle..lol.

Ok, rant over with.. :) If anyone has any words of wisdom or support they would be gratefully received....lol

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

Bless your heart.

Have you heard that 50 is the new 30? I read it all the time.......

It sounds to me like you have a sensible plan. And you are still "young enough" to restart yourself - at least in my opinion. You've suffered a loss but you realize you still have a life to live. Good for you. You aren't running and you aren't hiding. You are beginning again.

I think if you don't do this, you'll spend the rest of your life in the US with all kinds of horrible "what if's?" going round in your head.

I can't imagine you'll have a need to return to the US, either. If you continue to sensibly work your plan, you should find success. It might take some time but it sounds like you realize that. You'll have social safety nets beneath you that you would not in the US. In time, you'll find the right job fit and the right area in which to live.

I hope you stay in this community. It sounds like your journey will be one we will all want to share!

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

Thank you rebeccajo :thumbsup: It is definitely true that you are only as young as you feel and I definitely don't feel nearly 50 lmao. I know I don't act it.. :)

You also hit the nail right on the head when you mentioned about the 'what if's'. I definitely didn't want to spend the rest of my life wishing I had taken the opportunity while I had the chance.

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

The link below will give you all kinds of options for cheaper travel as a London resident. This should help a lot with your budget!
http://www.londontravelwatch.org.uk/...transport_tips

House sharing is a great idea for a single person. My British friend who is moving back sold her house and is doing the house sharing thing here in the US until she sells her business.

From what I have read you have picked the right place as far as finding working. Temp agencies are a good place to start. There was someone on here who started with that and the job turned permanent.

It seems to me that since you are out of work here, why not go back and try there? What do you have to lose? Wishing you the best of luck :fingerscrossed:

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

Thanks perthhomeschool :thumbsup: Thanks also for the link, it will come in very handy.
I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I have lost 6 people dear to me in the space of 2 years...my Dad, my husband, my Mum and 3 dear friends, so it's made me realize that life is definitely too short to be wasting time being somewhere I don't want to be. I want to get out there and start living again. :)

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

Congratulations on your decision to go home!!!
I tend to think that it takes much more bravery to go back than it does to make the move away in the first place. (otherwise I'd probably have gone home after my first year in the states!)
All the very best of luck with your move and in your new life.

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

Thanks larrabee. :) I agree ! Although both take courage, because no matter which direction you are going, inevitably you will be sometimes be going to somewhere you aren't familiar with and know no-one and are beginning again. It's that first step that's always the hardest.. :eek:

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

Good luck with the move! I recently moved back to the UK after living in the Caribbean for the past 19 years. I'd grown increasingly homesick and just suddenly decided that, for a variety of reasons, it was time to move back. Thankfully, I was able to secure a job before I moved over. But I am doing the flat share thing - which seems funny even to me, to have a 'roomie' at my age (39):). But it works for quite a few very good reasons.

I'm delighted to be back...am very patriotic and never did feel quite at home anywhere else. However, I'd hazard a guess that the UK might be one of the 'toughest' places to return to as a former expat. As you acknowledged in your post, there are many facilities that one takes for granted that are simply not available to returning nationals...no matter how British you actually are! It is an experience indeed:).

I truly wish you all the best and please feel free to pick my brains if you think I can be of assistance.

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

I totally agree. I am one who stayed to long when she knew she should have got the H*** out 20+ years ago. DO IT!!!!

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

Congratulations!!

You are the second person I have come across in the forum today who managed to secure a flat or house-share arrangement. May I ask how you went about trying to find one?

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

There's a good Web site called spareroom that has loads of such opportunities - either house shares or room rental (renting a room in the homeowner's house). They tend to be less expensive and more flexible (e.g., short term).

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

Thank you. It is always useful to know about sites like this. I was thinking I might be able to find a house or flat where I can take my pets - perhaps with landlords who are animal lovers. I am sure it will be difficult but it's time I found out how difficult it is going to be - and I might be pleasantly surprised, too.

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

I know exactly what you mean.
I've been homesick for 23 years!
It's not just that though, comparing notes with other ex.pats in the area, it seems to me that we have done far less well for ourselves in general than our friends back in the UK.
The three that I had this conversation with were all professional people yet struggling to make rent in Los Angeles whereas our counterparts in the UK were all home owners and towards the top of their respective professions.
To be fair though, I do know one who has done extremely well out here but I suppose that if one looks at the statistics of my experience, there's a greater chance of a good life being had by staying at home!

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

Well done Whofan, I'm sure this will be a wonderful move for you, new start and all. :fingerscrossed:





If you go on spare room , you can look at places that allow pets, it's on of the options.

Re: Excited but terrifed
 

Thank you. I just went there and found two lovely cottages between 500 and 600 pounds a month which I think is reasonable (someone please correct me if I am wrong). They both allow pets but don't say how many. I have two little dogs and two cats.