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Everyone's gone away again!

Everyone's gone away again!

Old Jan 2nd 2006, 5:23 am
  #16  
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

And I had a similarly crappy new years eve
...However we did invite some people round, three of them phoned to say, frankly, they had other things to do, but another couple and their daughter turned up, it was ok, but you know, well just ok. I just don't get how little americans know how to get together with people, just kick back and enjoy themselves.
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Old Jan 2nd 2006, 11:32 pm
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

I can sympathise with all of you who have said goodbye to family. My sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew left on Friday and I had a good cry. Well, a couple of times actually. I didn't cry when my parents left in November because I was focussing on the move, and since then I've got my citizenship so the move can happen sooner, so it really didn't make sense to cry this time! It was really special to see my boys playing with their cousins though, and my almost-2-year-old keeps asking for them so I think that's what made it so hard. It was good though because it helped to confirm that moving back will be a good thing for the kids.

As far as the male / female thing goes, I'm a male and have cried on many many occasions because of my homesickness. We'll see how my American wife copes being an expat in the UK. I really hope she doesn't go through all this, but I know that it's inevitable to a certain extent.
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Old Jan 2nd 2006, 11:43 pm
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

I feel so sorry for all of you feeling like this and think that you shouldnt beat yourselves up about it.

Ive noticed my Dad looks and sounds suddenly quite old.

And now my mums gone, I know it will tear my heart out when we leave.

I tell myself that Dad will age and time and tide wait for noone but I know it will be hard.

Not being in your situation yet, I dont know how you are feeling really.

Just keep up your contact with your loved ones and take one day at a time.

But I do hope you all find your own piece of where you want to be.

Wherever that is.
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Old Jan 3rd 2006, 5:27 pm
  #19  
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

I know how everyone feels here, my mum spent Christmas and New Year with us which was her first trip out here. Before she arrived I hadn't seen her for a year and a half. It really hit me when she was here how much I still need her. I kept waking up every day at 6.00am to nip in her room with a cup of tea. She always gets up early, I just wanted to sit and chat and spend time with her. It hit me on this trip how precious life is. She seems so little and getting older, I just want to be in England to protect her (I know that sounds silly)Both my brothers live in different counties so she's on her own. Saying good bye at the airport was horrible. My OH said right thats it were going home he hates seeing me upset. The funny thing is my mum has always been very supportive of whatever decisions I have made in my life including moving here, whilst she never said come home she did bring out 3 property papers for us to have a look at...bless her
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Old Jan 3rd 2006, 5:49 pm
  #20  
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by ladylisa
I know how everyone feels here, my mum spent Christmas and New Year with us which was her first trip out here. Before she arrived I hadn't seen her for a year and a half. It really hit me when she was here how much I still need her. I kept waking up every day at 6.00am to nip in her room with a cup of tea. She always gets up early, I just wanted to sit and chat and spend time with her. It hit me on this trip how precious life is. She seems so little and getting older, I just want to be in England to protect her (I know that sounds silly)Both my brothers live in different counties so she's on her own. Saying good bye at the airport was horrible. My OH said right thats it were going home he hates seeing me upset. The funny thing is my mum has always been very supportive of whatever decisions I have made in my life including moving here, whilst she never said come home she did bring out 3 property papers for us to have a look at...bless her
So Lisa are you making plans to return home? You know how that saying goes "Your Son is your Son till he's got a Wife, but a Daughter is your Daughter for the rest of her life"
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Old Jan 3rd 2006, 7:19 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by britvic
So Lisa are you making plans to return home? You know how that saying goes "Your Son is your Son till he's got a Wife, but a Daughter is your Daughter for the rest of her life"
Were not 100% decided but it is looking like thats what we shall do. My OH company have been a little iffy for a while so weve been unable to make permanent plans for so long that its getting beyond a joke. Now the company think there okay for the foreseeable future however that still doesn't leave us comfortable entering into buying a house. So for the last 3 years we have rented. (Luckily we still have a house in the UK) we feel in limbo really and were now at the point where we want to be more settled. We should be getting our GC in March plus my OH should be getting a bonus then, which if we decide to go back will pay for our moving costs. There is so much we dont like about where we are but the gamble is do we once receiving our GC try and move to another state, hoping we will like it and the US more by doing that...or just simply move back to the UK and get on with our lives. I have suggested we apply for citizenship after getting our GC just to leave a door open, but firstly I would have to look into how long that will take and secondly I'm not sure if we had an open door it would help us to settle back in the UK. I'm like so many people on this board, faced with the what ifs and buts that it just drives you round the bend. Emigrating opens your mind in a good way but sometimes I wish I could be ignorant and have just got on with the happy life I had in the UK before moving out here!
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Old Jan 3rd 2006, 7:25 pm
  #22  
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by ladylisa
I have suggested we apply for citizenship after getting our GC just to leave a door open, but firstly I would have to look into how long that will take and secondly I'm not sure if we had an open door it would help us to settle back in the UK. I'm like so many people on this board, faced with the what ifs and buts that it just drives you round the bend. Emigrating opens your mind in a good way but sometimes I wish I could be ignorant and have just got on with the happy life I had in the UK before moving out here!
It will be 5 years (minus 90?days) from the date on your GC before you can apply for Citizenship
I'm so like you, in that I often wish that window of opportunity hadn't been opened, and we'd carried on the way we were in the UK.
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Old Jan 3rd 2006, 9:39 pm
  #23  
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Hi Ladybird

How are you feeling now? Is it getting a bit easier?

Saying Goodbye seems so final. Maybe think of it as a see you soon!

I still find it hard after 2 1/2 years and when you have no planned trip back it seems despairingly hard. Maybe a trip out of Adelaide may help? or a trip to the pub with a girlfriend?
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Old Jan 3rd 2006, 11:23 pm
  #24  
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by ladyofthelake
It will be 5 years (minus 90?days) from the date on your GC before you can apply for Citizenship
I'm so like you, in that I often wish that window of opportunity hadn't been opened, and we'd carried on the way we were in the UK.
Wow really that long! so its definately from the date of the GC and not the date you arrived in the States? I guess thats one decision made for us then
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Old Jan 4th 2006, 1:35 pm
  #25  
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by ladylisa
Wow really that long! so its definately from the date of the GC and not the date you arrived in the States? I guess thats one decision made for us then
Unfortunately, yes. http://uscis.gov/graphics/services/natz/general.htm

http://uscis.gov/graphics/services/natz/faq.htm#q5

Bit of a bummer, when it's so short a time for people in OZ.
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Old Jan 5th 2006, 4:27 pm
  #26  
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

I know exactly how you all feel. My mother-in-law (who I get on with very well) was here for our first Christmas in Canada. She has just left to go back home to the UK and it has made me realise how much we really do miss family and friends and all the familiar things back home. I know we're at the prime time for homesickness, but watching my mother-in-law (and my parents when they were here last year) playing and bonding with my 2 year old daughter has got us thinking, are we doing the right thing here? I know there is no shame in packing up and going home saying "it wasn't the right thing for us", but I'm so torn between giving it more time (we've only been here 6 months) and going home.

Lets hope everything works out for the best for all of us. Good luck.
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Old Jan 5th 2006, 5:02 pm
  #27  
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by ladyofthelake
I often wish that window of opportunity hadn't been opened, and we'd carried on the way we were in the UK.
Agree totally. Just got back yesterday after spending Christmas back home. The first week that I was back was superb, then after xmas I started getting a bit mopey about having to come back here. Tuesday night before I left and yesterday afternoon after I got here I was a complete mess I'm afraid. No idea what to do moving forward - unlike a lot of folks on here I'm not married (though my other half is a USC) and I have few assets in the UK so I'm not sure if I could move back even if I wanted to right now. I'd also have to take a 60% cut in salary. The original plan was to stay here for 3-ish years then move back. 6 months gone now and it looks like being a long 2.5 years.

Best memory of being home - well I have a few but for some bizarre reason walking into Curry's with my mum to help her pick a portable tv out for my dad's christmas present stands out - no idea why but I just suddenly felt that this was where I really belong (the UK, not Curry's!!).

I think the problem I'm having now is that I spent so long looking forward to going back that I'm empty now that its over - feeling much worse now than I did when I first moved here
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Old Jan 5th 2006, 5:44 pm
  #28  
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Oh big hugs to you I bet the people working in Currys dont feel as fluffy about it as you did
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Old Jan 5th 2006, 6:28 pm
  #29  
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by BigDavyG
Best memory of being home - well I have a few but for some bizarre reason walking into Curry's with my mum to help her pick a portable tv out for my dad's christmas present stands out - no idea why but I just suddenly felt that this was where I really belong (the UK, not Curry's!!).
You can admit the truth... a lot of us on here get overly emotional about British shops!

It's always really hard after a visit. I hope you manage to get back into the swing of things over here and feel a bit happier. That's always how it has been for me. It's actually much worse now I've decided to move back because I just want to leave and every day here is a huge effort! Good luck deciding what you want to do; I know it seems like an impossible choice to make sometimes.
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Old Jan 5th 2006, 6:33 pm
  #30  
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by ladylisa
Oh big hugs to you I bet the people working in Currys dont feel as fluffy about it as you did
That's the funny thing I guess - most of them would probably swap places with me in a heartbeat, and right now I'd be happy to go along with them.
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