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Everyone's gone away again!

Everyone's gone away again!

Old Dec 28th 2005, 2:30 am
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Default Everyone's gone away again!

Well after a crappy Christmas (both kids and husband puking), my Mother and Father in law have just left on their way back to the uk, and just like last year I feel very alone, homesickness is just hiding around the corner ready to strike!
Looking forward to their visit was all that was keeping me going and now its over and Christmas was rubbish I just feel ****.

Over Christmas they kept asking, have I settled now, and I said I still wasn't settled but i'm not miserable here (at least not all the time!) and I stilll want to try and stay for the kids sake.

And as much as it was great to see them it didn't really help (and I know this sounds terrible) but it just wasn't Christmas because it wasn't my parents. Does that make any sense?

Not looking forward to the next few weeks.

Ladybird.
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Old Dec 28th 2005, 2:51 am
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by Ladybird
Well after a crappy Christmas (both kids and husband puking), my Mother and Father in law have just left on their way back to the uk, and just like last year I feel very alone, homesickness is just hiding around the corner ready to strike!
Looking forward to their visit was all that was keeping me going and now its over and Christmas was rubbish I just feel ****.

Over Christmas they kept asking, have I settled now, and I said I still wasn't settled but i'm not miserable here (at least not all the time!) and I stilll want to try and stay for the kids sake.

And as much as it was great to see them it didn't really help (and I know this sounds terrible) but it just wasn't Christmas because it wasn't my parents. Does that make any sense?

Not looking forward to the next few weeks.

Ladybird.
Hi LB

Sorry to hear you're still suffering. Did you get to the doc's? It really might help.
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Old Dec 28th 2005, 3:17 am
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Unhappy Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by Ladybird
Well after a crappy Christmas (both kids and husband puking), my Mother and Father in law have just left on their way back to the uk, and just like last year I feel very alone, homesickness is just hiding around the corner ready to strike!
Looking forward to their visit was all that was keeping me going and now its over and Christmas was rubbish I just feel ****.

Over Christmas they kept asking, have I settled now, and I said I still wasn't settled but i'm not miserable here (at least not all the time!) and I stilll want to try and stay for the kids sake.

And as much as it was great to see them it didn't really help (and I know this sounds terrible) but it just wasn't Christmas because it wasn't my parents. Does that make any sense?

Not looking forward to the next few weeks.

Ladybird.
Hi Ladybird,
I know what you mean about people going. I have just taken my Dad to Adelaide airport for his flight back to the UK. I feel absolutely awful. I have not cried like this since ..... well I am not sure. I realise that Adelaide has not worked out for us and seeing my Dad going has made me realise how much I need to be nearer to him. Having him here for a month was so lovely. Some people can live away from their family and get on with their lives. Perhaps I am now finding out that I need to be close to him.
I am so upset that coming back to the house it seems empty.
You say you haven't settled. Having family members around that are not 'your family' can often make you feel isolated also. No comfort for you though when you are feeling lonely and homesick.
I saw my Dad & realised he looked old and tired and I want to be part of his life as do his grandchildren.
I hope you feel better soon,
Take Care xxx
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Old Dec 28th 2005, 3:35 am
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by MistySunshine
I saw my Dad & realised he looked old and tired and I want to be part of his life as do his grandchildren.
I really feel for you. I find myself feeling the same way. It's hard but it's something I've learnt to live with.
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Old Dec 28th 2005, 6:33 am
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by Ladybird
Well after a crappy Christmas (both kids and husband puking), my Mother and Father in law have just left on their way back to the uk, and just like last year I feel very alone, homesickness is just hiding around the corner ready to strike!
Looking forward to their visit was all that was keeping me going and now its over and Christmas was rubbish I just feel ****.

Over Christmas they kept asking, have I settled now, and I said I still wasn't settled but i'm not miserable here (at least not all the time!) and I stilll want to try and stay for the kids sake.

And as much as it was great to see them it didn't really help (and I know this sounds terrible) but it just wasn't Christmas because it wasn't my parents. Does that make any sense?

Not looking forward to the next few weeks.

Ladybird.
sorry christmas was crap.....

it seems you have felt like this for a long time.....

do you feel able to sit down with oh and discuss a reasonable timeline in order for you to give it a go, then if you are still not happy, would he be prepared to go back to the uk with you? before you left, did you have a gameplan, like if one isnt happy by such and such time, we will go back without hard feelings so long as they gave it a go etc? if no gameplan, perhaps new years resolution should be to MAKE him listen, and i mean really listen to how you are feeling so that you know there is light at the end of the tunnel within a certain period of time should you still be unhappy. your feelings are just as important as his in this.

i kept saying to myself "ive got to get citizenship for the kids" (ive been here 5mnths,) however awful it is because i thought it'd be a worthwhile gift for them and make their lives easier in the future. but now (especially as thats changing to 3yrs to get it) i think at the end of the day, if we are a happy family unit and bring them up well, hopefully when they are 18, they will have the right qualifications to apply themselves if they want to.Also, they might not ever decide they want to come here anyway. so what im trying to say is, whats the point of hanging on for something the children can get if/when they want to at the expense of your health/happiness? im sure any child would want a happy family unit than a piece of paper.

just make sure you make your husband listen to your feelings and really takes on board what you want. so have what you want in your mind, then get talking! its bloody hard, but you have as much right as everyone else to have your feelings understood and taken into account.

good luck, let us know how you get on and remember...all these people on this forum...you really arent abnormal for thinking like you do
take care x
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Old Dec 29th 2005, 1:31 am
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Ladybird...crappy xmas... I feel your pain..I was having a similar crappy xmas over here in the US. I hope you can sort it all out and get back to the UK if that's what you want. All the best.
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Old Dec 31st 2005, 1:29 am
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

I know exactly how you feel. Tomorrow my Mum goes home after 5 weeks here with us.

It's brought all of my feelings of homesickness back to me again I'm just so tired of trying to make this work, I don't know how much more I can deal with.

I'm constantly torn between my OH and the kids, as they are really happy here, and the family left in the UK as they miss us all so very much....just like I miss them.

I hope you start to buck up soon and feel better.
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Old Dec 31st 2005, 11:45 am
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

It may have been covered elsewhere--but-why does it seem to be the female sector that is homesick/not settled/always crying?
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Old Dec 31st 2005, 1:53 pm
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by Tooanfrom
It may have been covered elsewhere--but-why does it seem to be the female sector that is homesick/not settled/always crying?
Because the Men are the one's that talk us into uprooting in the first place And when we've done it, it's us women who will be honest about it and say "I'v had enough now, I want to go home".
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Old Dec 31st 2005, 4:15 pm
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by Tooanfrom
It may have been covered elsewhere--but-why does it seem to be the female sector that is homesick/not settled/always crying?
Because your not using facts just daft assumptions?
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Old Dec 31st 2005, 11:57 pm
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by Tooanfrom
It may have been covered elsewhere--but-why does it seem to be the female sector that is homesick/not settled/always crying?
It was my idea to come over here and both of our ideas to go back to the UK!
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Old Jan 1st 2006, 1:42 pm
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by britvic
Because the Men are the one's that talk us into uprooting in the first place And when we've done it, it's us women who will be honest about it and say "I'v had enough now, I want to go home".
That may be how it was in your household but going by what I read on various forums it is about a 50/50 split as to who's idea it was.

I do think it is a "lady of the house" thing. Mainly because in lots of cases the man gets a job, the children are too young for schools and mum is at home with little ones and misses the old network more. Again I am generalising but it seems if you have a very close relationship with your mother, in and out of each other's houses, on the phone daily etc, it seems unlikely that a 12,000 gap is going to work.

Just my two pennyworth. Don't want to upset anyone. Can't imagine how hard it is to suffer homesickness - only been here 5 weeks. Don't want to suffer it but not assuming I won't.
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Old Jan 1st 2006, 1:46 pm
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by Lizzi
Ladybird...crappy xmas... I feel your pain..I was having a similar crappy xmas over here in the US. .
Yeah crappy Xmas here...hate it, sooo unhappy
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Old Jan 1st 2006, 5:30 pm
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by TruBrit
Yeah crappy Xmas here...hate it, sooo unhappy
Cheer up Girl I'm sure alot of us feel the same, just glad to get through it.
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Old Jan 1st 2006, 5:32 pm
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Default Re: Everyone's gone away again!

Originally Posted by britvic
Cheer up Girl I'm sure alot of us feel the same, just glad to get through it.

Hiya and yep you are so right, I know I'm not alone....just glad Crimbo is over
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