End of the road?
Apr 7th 2019, 12:54 pm
#1
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Joined: Dec 2006
Location: Rockingham, Perth
Posts: 113
End of the road?
After 12 years of living in Australia I am beginning to question whether it is time to up stumps and head back to the UK.
To understand my thinking, I should offer some context as to why I am feeling like this.
My Australian dream began as a result of marrying a women who did not want to stay in the UK (she was South African), we had met in the UK and after getting married we discussed the options and Australia was the natural choice.
We embarked on a lengthy process to get a PR visa on my trade, she would not have qualified in her own right and piggybacked on my visa.
May 2007 we arrived in Perth, we rented a house, got jobs and started to build a new life pretty quickly, by early 2008 we had bought a house and made lots of great new friends.
By the middle of 2008 it was clear things were not going well and after much coaxing my wife told me she wanted to end our marriage, I was devastated and what made it worse was finding out she had met someone else at work.
once the marriage was over I found myself stuck in our home for the next 9 years thanks mainly to the loss of equity due to the GFC, once the market had recovered enough I sold the house, still at a loss.
I went back to renting and had a good well paid job so money was never an issue, then last year I was made redundant and I have struggled with find a job and this has sent me into a downward spiral with depression.
I have worked since but working on shutdowns and for short periods, I am seeing the Australian dream for many people getting harder and harder, with the cost of living, fewer well paid local jobs and a general lack of optimism in some sectors of the economy.
I am missing having a supportive family and feel isolated, I don't want to quit and feel like a failure but the truth is I am not sure if the juice is worth the squeeze anymore.
To understand my thinking, I should offer some context as to why I am feeling like this.
My Australian dream began as a result of marrying a women who did not want to stay in the UK (she was South African), we had met in the UK and after getting married we discussed the options and Australia was the natural choice.
We embarked on a lengthy process to get a PR visa on my trade, she would not have qualified in her own right and piggybacked on my visa.
May 2007 we arrived in Perth, we rented a house, got jobs and started to build a new life pretty quickly, by early 2008 we had bought a house and made lots of great new friends.
By the middle of 2008 it was clear things were not going well and after much coaxing my wife told me she wanted to end our marriage, I was devastated and what made it worse was finding out she had met someone else at work.
once the marriage was over I found myself stuck in our home for the next 9 years thanks mainly to the loss of equity due to the GFC, once the market had recovered enough I sold the house, still at a loss.
I went back to renting and had a good well paid job so money was never an issue, then last year I was made redundant and I have struggled with find a job and this has sent me into a downward spiral with depression.
I have worked since but working on shutdowns and for short periods, I am seeing the Australian dream for many people getting harder and harder, with the cost of living, fewer well paid local jobs and a general lack of optimism in some sectors of the economy.
I am missing having a supportive family and feel isolated, I don't want to quit and feel like a failure but the truth is I am not sure if the juice is worth the squeeze anymore.
Apr 7th 2019, 5:33 pm
#2
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 8
Re: End of the road?
It does sound as though you would be much better off coming home to be closer to family and a support network. Is your UK passport up to date? Are there any pets or any possessions that you want to ship back? Beyond that it’s a very simple matter of giving notice on your rented property and booking a one way flight home. Can
your family in the UK accommodate you temporarily until you get housing etc sorted. You will be fine. You just need a fresh start here at home.
your family in the UK accommodate you temporarily until you get housing etc sorted. You will be fine. You just need a fresh start here at home.
Apr 7th 2019, 9:20 pm
#3
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Joined: Dec 2006
Location: Rockingham, Perth
Posts: 113
Re: End of the road?
I have a cat and dog and I would probably sell my possessions, I down sized after selling my house.
I should probably start looking at getting the animals vaccinations etc so they can travel.
I have family who I could stay with initially but I have not told them yet I am thinking of coming back.
I should probably start looking at getting the animals vaccinations etc so they can travel.
I have family who I could stay with initially but I have not told them yet I am thinking of coming back.
Apr 7th 2019, 9:35 pm
#4
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,613
Re: End of the road?
Are you out of love with Australia and Perth?
Might a move within Australia be possibly also a new start?
Is the UK pulling you for its familiarity ?
Might a move within Australia be possibly also a new start?
Is the UK pulling you for its familiarity ?
Apr 7th 2019, 9:40 pm
#5
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Re: End of the road?
That said I have found very difficult being single here, I have found myself becoming very isolated and lonely. I have considered the eastern states, probably Queensland.
The pull to the UK is mostly because my parents are. getting older and I am not sure how long they will be around for, I do miss some aspects of the UK, mostly the culture.
Apr 7th 2019, 9:44 pm
#6
Still alive
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,994
Re: End of the road?
I am disillusioned with life in Australia, I love Australia despite the cost of living here and the trouble that is coming in the economy for the next 10 years.
That said I have found very difficult being single here, I have found myself becoming very isolated and lonely. I have considered the eastern states, probably Queensland.
The pull to the UK is mostly because my parents are. getting older and I am not sure how long they will be around for, I do miss some aspects of the UK, mostly the culture.
That said I have found very difficult being single here, I have found myself becoming very isolated and lonely. I have considered the eastern states, probably Queensland.
The pull to the UK is mostly because my parents are. getting older and I am not sure how long they will be around for, I do miss some aspects of the UK, mostly the culture.
Apr 7th 2019, 9:51 pm
#7
`
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,613
Re: End of the road?
I am disillusioned with life in Australia, I love Australia despite the cost of living here and the trouble that is coming in the economy for the next 10 years.
That said I have found very difficult being single here, I have found myself becoming very isolated and lonely. I have considered the eastern states, probably Queensland.
The pull to the UK is mostly because my parents are. getting older and I am not sure how long they will be around for, I do miss some aspects of the UK, mostly the culture.
That said I have found very difficult being single here, I have found myself becoming very isolated and lonely. I have considered the eastern states, probably Queensland.
The pull to the UK is mostly because my parents are. getting older and I am not sure how long they will be around for, I do miss some aspects of the UK, mostly the culture.
Loneliness is a tough one
When we came to New Zealand I thought rugby and sport would be our way to making a circle of friends like we had ( and still have ) in the UK but soon found out that socialising in New Zealand is a very different kettle of fish to the UK.
Have you got pals back in the UK you could hook up with ?
Sounds like you've had a bit of a rough ride for a while .
Apr 7th 2019, 9:54 pm
#8
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Location: Rockingham, Perth
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Re: End of the road?
Sharing a few hours with people you have a shared interest with is nice and I have tried Meet up and other social groups. but I am quite socially awkward around strangers.
Apr 7th 2019, 9:59 pm
#9
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Re: End of the road?
I guess I am having to face the fact that I have been in a state of depression for so long it has become normal now, I occasionally hit the bottom and then drag myself up somewhat but I am far from being out from under the clouds.
That is why I wonder if a fresh start is needed ?
Apr 7th 2019, 10:20 pm
#10
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,613
Re: End of the road?
I guess I am having to face the fact that I have been in a state of depression for so long it has become normal now, I occasionally hit the bottom and then drag myself up somewhat but I am far from being out from under the clouds.
That is why I wonder if a fresh start is needed ?
I can quite see where breaking the cycle - as in a move - might seem a good option.
Have you the energy for a new start? Could you take a trip back to the UK perhaps for a month or so and see how it fits.
Apr 7th 2019, 10:23 pm
#11
Just Joined
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 8
Re: End of the road?
I have a cat and dog and I would probably sell my possessions, I down sized after selling my house.
I should probably start looking at getting the animals vaccinations etc so they can travel.
I have family who I could stay with initially but I have not told them yet I am thinking of coming back.
I should probably start looking at getting the animals vaccinations etc so they can travel.
I have family who I could stay with initially but I have not told them yet I am thinking of coming back.
if you did need to send anything back to the UK you can always get quite reasonable quotes from companies like excess baggage or UPakWeShip or even sendmybag.com.
I'm sure your family will be really happy that you're thinking of coming home to them. If there's nothing left in Australia for you then a fresh start here might be just what you need
Last edited by BEVS; Apr 7th 2019 at 10:24 pm. Reason: fix quote
Apr 8th 2019, 7:08 am
#13
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Location: Rockingham, Perth
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Re: End of the road?
Albert Einstien was quoted as saying "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results"
Apr 8th 2019, 7:15 am
#14
Banned
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,830
Re: End of the road?
After 12 years of living in Australia I am beginning to question whether it is time to up stumps and head back to the UK.
To understand my thinking, I should offer some context as to why I am feeling like this.
My Australian dream began as a result of marrying a women who did not want to stay in the UK (she was South African), we had met in the UK and after getting married we discussed the options and Australia was the natural choice.
We embarked on a lengthy process to get a PR visa on my trade, she would not have qualified in her own right and piggybacked on my visa.
May 2007 we arrived in Perth, we rented a house, got jobs and started to build a new life pretty quickly, by early 2008 we had bought a house and made lots of great new friends.
By the middle of 2008 it was clear things were not going well and after much coaxing my wife told me she wanted to end our marriage, I was devastated and what made it worse was finding out she had met someone else at work.
once the marriage was over I found myself stuck in our home for the next 9 years thanks mainly to the loss of equity due to the GFC, once the market had recovered enough I sold the house, still at a loss.
I went back to renting and had a good well paid job so money was never an issue, then last year I was made redundant and I have struggled with find a job and this has sent me into a downward spiral with depression.
I have worked since but working on shutdowns and for short periods, I am seeing the Australian dream for many people getting harder and harder, with the cost of living, fewer well paid local jobs and a general lack of optimism in some sectors of the economy.
I am missing having a supportive family and feel isolated, I don't want to quit and feel like a failure but the truth is I am not sure if the juice is worth the squeeze anymore.
To understand my thinking, I should offer some context as to why I am feeling like this.
My Australian dream began as a result of marrying a women who did not want to stay in the UK (she was South African), we had met in the UK and after getting married we discussed the options and Australia was the natural choice.
We embarked on a lengthy process to get a PR visa on my trade, she would not have qualified in her own right and piggybacked on my visa.
May 2007 we arrived in Perth, we rented a house, got jobs and started to build a new life pretty quickly, by early 2008 we had bought a house and made lots of great new friends.
By the middle of 2008 it was clear things were not going well and after much coaxing my wife told me she wanted to end our marriage, I was devastated and what made it worse was finding out she had met someone else at work.
once the marriage was over I found myself stuck in our home for the next 9 years thanks mainly to the loss of equity due to the GFC, once the market had recovered enough I sold the house, still at a loss.
I went back to renting and had a good well paid job so money was never an issue, then last year I was made redundant and I have struggled with find a job and this has sent me into a downward spiral with depression.
I have worked since but working on shutdowns and for short periods, I am seeing the Australian dream for many people getting harder and harder, with the cost of living, fewer well paid local jobs and a general lack of optimism in some sectors of the economy.
I am missing having a supportive family and feel isolated, I don't want to quit and feel like a failure but the truth is I am not sure if the juice is worth the squeeze anymore.
Apr 8th 2019, 8:11 am
#15
Still alive
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,994
Re: End of the road?
I recently turned 50 and find that I live in my own little bubble like most people out there, my social skills are rusty and I am very reserved when it comes to pushing myself to meet people.
Sharing a few hours with people you have a shared interest with is nice and I have tried Meet up and other social groups. but I am quite socially awkward around strangers.
Sharing a few hours with people you have a shared interest with is nice and I have tried Meet up and other social groups. but I am quite socially awkward around strangers.