Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
Aug 25th 2010, 5:21 am
#1
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Joined: Feb 2007
Location: WA but not forever!!!
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Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
Just putting it out there. I would love to move back to the UK as I am rather homesick but unfortunately it's not happening due to ill health, cost of day care (centrelink far more supportive than uk system) and hubby has a job here.
I should thank my lucky stars. I've had my fair share of illness and my health isn't great, hubby also now carries an injury so just being in work is great. I'd love to move back, put the kids in UK school system. Go and see my GP and await tests (feeling very piece meal here) and eventually hubby and I work for more than just daycare costs.
I've just had to delete the massive ramble in half! Hopefully some sort of counselling will help me think about my life differently but it sucks right now (health and homesickness).
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I should thank my lucky stars. I've had my fair share of illness and my health isn't great, hubby also now carries an injury so just being in work is great. I'd love to move back, put the kids in UK school system. Go and see my GP and await tests (feeling very piece meal here) and eventually hubby and I work for more than just daycare costs.
I've just had to delete the massive ramble in half! Hopefully some sort of counselling will help me think about my life differently but it sucks right now (health and homesickness).
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Aug 25th 2010, 6:25 am
#2
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
Just putting it out there. I would love to move back to the UK as I am rather homesick but unfortunately it's not happening due to ill health, cost of day care (centrelink far more supportive than uk system) and hubby has a job here.
I should thank my lucky stars. I've had my fair share of illness and my health isn't great, hubby also now carries an injury so just being in work is great. I'd love to move back, put the kids in UK school system. Go and see my GP and await tests (feeling very piece meal here) and eventually hubby and I work for more than just daycare costs.
I've just had to delete the massive ramble in half! Hopefully some sort of counselling will help me think about my life differently but it sucks right now (health and homesickness).
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I should thank my lucky stars. I've had my fair share of illness and my health isn't great, hubby also now carries an injury so just being in work is great. I'd love to move back, put the kids in UK school system. Go and see my GP and await tests (feeling very piece meal here) and eventually hubby and I work for more than just daycare costs.
I've just had to delete the massive ramble in half! Hopefully some sort of counselling will help me think about my life differently but it sucks right now (health and homesickness).
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
You know, dont look on it as 'forever', look on it as 'for now'.
Take one day at a time, your husband has a job and you are managing to keep stable, what could be a very 'rocky boat'.
Things can change ever so quickly so concentrate on what you do have as opposed to what you don't have - you have a lovely husband and family, somewhere to live, money coming in and although your health isnt great, you get by.
Then one day something could change, an opportunity that could come your way and before you know it you could be heading back to where you want to be.
Seriously, one thing I have learned in recent months - have a good look at what you have and not what you havent and you will be surprised at how well off you are.
Wish I could hug you though, I am having serious people sickness and whilst I am good at weighing the scales in my favour, sometimes - just sometimes those bastards weigh against me.
Aug 25th 2010, 10:53 am
#3
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Joined: May 2007
Location: England
Posts: 4,211
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
Just putting it out there. I would love to move back to the UK as I am rather homesick but unfortunately it's not happening due to ill health, cost of day care (centrelink far more supportive than uk system) and hubby has a job here.
I should thank my lucky stars. I've had my fair share of illness and my health isn't great, hubby also now carries an injury so just being in work is great. I'd love to move back, put the kids in UK school system. Go and see my GP and await tests (feeling very piece meal here) and eventually hubby and I work for more than just daycare costs.
I've just had to delete the massive ramble in half! Hopefully some sort of counselling will help me think about my life differently but it sucks right now (health and homesickness).
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I should thank my lucky stars. I've had my fair share of illness and my health isn't great, hubby also now carries an injury so just being in work is great. I'd love to move back, put the kids in UK school system. Go and see my GP and await tests (feeling very piece meal here) and eventually hubby and I work for more than just daycare costs.
I've just had to delete the massive ramble in half! Hopefully some sort of counselling will help me think about my life differently but it sucks right now (health and homesickness).
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Do you not have any savings to make it back home?....or a home to sell to finance the move?.....not sure how long you have been in Aus or what health problems you both have.....are you feeling like you do now because life is not being great to you and we tend to blame where we are in those situations...you know the "nearest or dearest" gets it first so to speak...or have you always felt like Aus is not for you all?....can you go to the GP and have a chat about how down you are at the moment, so GP's offer so many free councilling services.....can centrelink help you with this as well?......just try if you can to start with what is really you main worry and try and sort that out as best as you can then take the next step......all the best and try not to let things overwhelm you....as things can seem so much worse than they are...easy said than done I know....take care....
Aug 25th 2010, 7:36 pm
#4
Account Closed
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 495
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
[QUOTE=PoppetUK;8801431]Just putting it out there. I would love to move back to the UK as I am rather homesick but unfortunately it's not happening due to ill health, cost of day care (centrelink far more supportive than uk system) and hubby has a job here.
I should thank my lucky stars. I've had my fair share of illness and my health isn't great, hubby also now carries an injury so just being in work is great. I'd love to move back, put the kids in UK school system. Go and see my GP and await tests (feeling very piece meal here) and eventually hubby and I work for more than just daycare costs.
I've just had to delete the massive ramble in half! Hopefully some sort of counselling will help me think about my life differently but it sucks right now (health and homesickness).
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh[/QUOTE
Been back in the UK 8 weeks,already renovating house we bought before we came back,booked in for shoulder operation with top class surgeon ,all free on NHS.Three operations in AUS all done by incompetent surgeon,this was confirmed by specialist here,missus has 3 job interviews lined up soon.Wasnt really homesick for UK,but the decision was kind of made for us,4 years in AUS was kind of making us old before our time.Never thought i would be posting on here a few years ago, but got in far more of a rut in AUS than i ever did in the UK,just got pissed off with crap schools,poor health care,expensive shopping,have seen many poms grinning it and bearing it,even though they do bugger all and life starts and ends at the beach.Kids took to returning well,we are all citizens so can always return,but at the moment cannot see a reason why, way better off here finnancially,and way too busy as well,do miss blue skys and some things,but a hell of a lot of things i will never miss.Tip of the day have a stop off on the way back,and see all the chinese kids in KL having a good time,wearing trendy clothes,gadgets.While their Aussie counterparts in perth walk around like drugged up tramps,heading for Margaret river.Aussie lifestyle? never really found any.
I should thank my lucky stars. I've had my fair share of illness and my health isn't great, hubby also now carries an injury so just being in work is great. I'd love to move back, put the kids in UK school system. Go and see my GP and await tests (feeling very piece meal here) and eventually hubby and I work for more than just daycare costs.
I've just had to delete the massive ramble in half! Hopefully some sort of counselling will help me think about my life differently but it sucks right now (health and homesickness).
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh[/QUOTE
Been back in the UK 8 weeks,already renovating house we bought before we came back,booked in for shoulder operation with top class surgeon ,all free on NHS.Three operations in AUS all done by incompetent surgeon,this was confirmed by specialist here,missus has 3 job interviews lined up soon.Wasnt really homesick for UK,but the decision was kind of made for us,4 years in AUS was kind of making us old before our time.Never thought i would be posting on here a few years ago, but got in far more of a rut in AUS than i ever did in the UK,just got pissed off with crap schools,poor health care,expensive shopping,have seen many poms grinning it and bearing it,even though they do bugger all and life starts and ends at the beach.Kids took to returning well,we are all citizens so can always return,but at the moment cannot see a reason why, way better off here finnancially,and way too busy as well,do miss blue skys and some things,but a hell of a lot of things i will never miss.Tip of the day have a stop off on the way back,and see all the chinese kids in KL having a good time,wearing trendy clothes,gadgets.While their Aussie counterparts in perth walk around like drugged up tramps,heading for Margaret river.Aussie lifestyle? never really found any.
Aug 26th 2010, 1:26 am
#5
Just Joined
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 15
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
Haven't posted on here fo a couple of years although I often read threads. Have 99% decided that we are returning to the UK for many of the reasons given by the previous thread. Poor schooling, medical expenses,(braces $6,000) food costs etc. We have 4 children who I can't wait to get back into the UK education system. We PAY for 3 of ours to go to school here and it still doesn't come close.
Have been here for almost 4 years, bought house at wrong time now not really worth what we paid for it having spent a fair bit on it.
Have never felt Oz to be home, there is more to life than nice weather, yes its great to have the pool,beach etc but without your family and friends to share it with.................
Sorry for the rant just needed to offload!
It doesn't work out for some people others think its fab, its just not for me anymore and I feel relieved a decision has finally been made. Have a monumental task ahead but know it will all be worth it to get 'Home'.
;Sorry you feel so down Poppet, rest assured I know exactly where you are coming from with your homesickness, big hug sent.
Have been here for almost 4 years, bought house at wrong time now not really worth what we paid for it having spent a fair bit on it.
Have never felt Oz to be home, there is more to life than nice weather, yes its great to have the pool,beach etc but without your family and friends to share it with.................
Sorry for the rant just needed to offload!
It doesn't work out for some people others think its fab, its just not for me anymore and I feel relieved a decision has finally been made. Have a monumental task ahead but know it will all be worth it to get 'Home'.
;Sorry you feel so down Poppet, rest assured I know exactly where you are coming from with your homesickness, big hug sent.
Last edited by anonomoz; Aug 26th 2010 at 1:29 am.
Aug 26th 2010, 6:23 am
#6
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Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,378
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
I guess I am surprised that you get more out of Centrelink than you would in UK but have you also factored in the additional support you would get from family and friends which would be worth a whole lot more.
It's great that your DH has a job but that doesnt stop him from looking for one in UK, putting out feelers amongst the people he knows in the business etc - looking at many returnees they have been successful in finding a job before they left Australia.
With health issues, I think the NHS probably has the edge and if you add in the family support you might get then that would be a whole lot easier as well.
Dont give up, have a plan - set yourself some goals re employment, declutter your place so you can leave in a moment if you need to, work on ways of saving up just that little bit more so you can have the freedom to come and go because I can tell you that once you sense that freedom has gone, any feelings of disquiet or unhappiness get magnified 10 fold. You can call it your Freedom Plan! If you are lucky you may find a bit of support coming from your aged rellies if you put it out there that you would really like to reclaim your life.
All the best with it, it does sound as if you are between a rock and a hard place at the moment.
It's great that your DH has a job but that doesnt stop him from looking for one in UK, putting out feelers amongst the people he knows in the business etc - looking at many returnees they have been successful in finding a job before they left Australia.
With health issues, I think the NHS probably has the edge and if you add in the family support you might get then that would be a whole lot easier as well.
Dont give up, have a plan - set yourself some goals re employment, declutter your place so you can leave in a moment if you need to, work on ways of saving up just that little bit more so you can have the freedom to come and go because I can tell you that once you sense that freedom has gone, any feelings of disquiet or unhappiness get magnified 10 fold. You can call it your Freedom Plan! If you are lucky you may find a bit of support coming from your aged rellies if you put it out there that you would really like to reclaim your life.
All the best with it, it does sound as if you are between a rock and a hard place at the moment.
Aug 26th 2010, 8:46 am
#7
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Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,005
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
I guess I am surprised that you get more out of Centrelink than you would in UK but have you also factored in the additional support you would get from family and friends which would be worth a whole lot more.
It's great that your DH has a job but that doesnt stop him from looking for one in UK, putting out feelers amongst the people he knows in the business etc - looking at many returnees they have been successful in finding a job before they left Australia.
With health issues, I think the NHS probably has the edge and if you add in the family support you might get then that would be a whole lot easier as well.
Dont give up, have a plan - set yourself some goals re employment, declutter your place so you can leave in a moment if you need to, work on ways of saving up just that little bit more so you can have the freedom to come and go because I can tell you that once you sense that freedom has gone, any feelings of disquiet or unhappiness get magnified 10 fold. You can call it your Freedom Plan! If you are lucky you may find a bit of support coming from your aged rellies if you put it out there that you would really like to reclaim your life.
All the best with it, it does sound as if you are between a rock and a hard place at the moment.
It's great that your DH has a job but that doesnt stop him from looking for one in UK, putting out feelers amongst the people he knows in the business etc - looking at many returnees they have been successful in finding a job before they left Australia.
With health issues, I think the NHS probably has the edge and if you add in the family support you might get then that would be a whole lot easier as well.
Dont give up, have a plan - set yourself some goals re employment, declutter your place so you can leave in a moment if you need to, work on ways of saving up just that little bit more so you can have the freedom to come and go because I can tell you that once you sense that freedom has gone, any feelings of disquiet or unhappiness get magnified 10 fold. You can call it your Freedom Plan! If you are lucky you may find a bit of support coming from your aged rellies if you put it out there that you would really like to reclaim your life.
All the best with it, it does sound as if you are between a rock and a hard place at the moment.
Aug 26th 2010, 7:03 pm
#8
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Joined: May 2007
Location: England
Posts: 4,211
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
[QUOTE=Catch;8802980]
had to laugh at the Aussie kids bit...my oh has just landed back in Perth and said it finally got to him when he went to the Departures to Perth WA at Singapore Airport and just looking at the people waiting to board the flight made him want to run for the next plane back home to good old UK...luckily for him he will be back home soon....
Just putting it out there. I would love to move back to the UK as I am rather homesick but unfortunately it's not happening due to ill health, cost of day care (centrelink far more supportive than uk system) and hubby has a job here.
I should thank my lucky stars. I've had my fair share of illness and my health isn't great, hubby also now carries an injury so just being in work is great. I'd love to move back, put the kids in UK school system. Go and see my GP and await tests (feeling very piece meal here) and eventually hubby and I work for more than just daycare costs.
I've just had to delete the massive ramble in half! Hopefully some sort of counselling will help me think about my life differently but it sucks right now (health and homesickness).
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh[/QUOTE
Been back in the UK 8 weeks,already renovating house we bought before we came back,booked in for shoulder operation with top class surgeon ,all free on NHS.Three operations in AUS all done by incompetent surgeon,this was confirmed by specialist here,missus has 3 job interviews lined up soon.Wasnt really homesick for UK,but the decision was kind of made for us,4 years in AUS was kind of making us old before our time.Never thought i would be posting on here a few years ago, but got in far more of a rut in AUS than i ever did in the UK,just got pissed off with crap schools,poor health care,expensive shopping,have seen many poms grinning it and bearing it,even though they do bugger all and life starts and ends at the beach.Kids took to returning well,we are all citizens so can always return,but at the moment cannot see a reason why, way better off here finnancially,and way too busy as well,do miss blue skys and some things,but a hell of a lot of things i will never miss.Tip of the day have a stop off on the way back,and see all the chinese kids in KL having a good time,wearing trendy clothes,gadgets.While their Aussie counterparts in perth walk around like drugged up tramps,heading for Margaret river.Aussie lifestyle? never really found any.
I should thank my lucky stars. I've had my fair share of illness and my health isn't great, hubby also now carries an injury so just being in work is great. I'd love to move back, put the kids in UK school system. Go and see my GP and await tests (feeling very piece meal here) and eventually hubby and I work for more than just daycare costs.
I've just had to delete the massive ramble in half! Hopefully some sort of counselling will help me think about my life differently but it sucks right now (health and homesickness).
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh[/QUOTE
Been back in the UK 8 weeks,already renovating house we bought before we came back,booked in for shoulder operation with top class surgeon ,all free on NHS.Three operations in AUS all done by incompetent surgeon,this was confirmed by specialist here,missus has 3 job interviews lined up soon.Wasnt really homesick for UK,but the decision was kind of made for us,4 years in AUS was kind of making us old before our time.Never thought i would be posting on here a few years ago, but got in far more of a rut in AUS than i ever did in the UK,just got pissed off with crap schools,poor health care,expensive shopping,have seen many poms grinning it and bearing it,even though they do bugger all and life starts and ends at the beach.Kids took to returning well,we are all citizens so can always return,but at the moment cannot see a reason why, way better off here finnancially,and way too busy as well,do miss blue skys and some things,but a hell of a lot of things i will never miss.Tip of the day have a stop off on the way back,and see all the chinese kids in KL having a good time,wearing trendy clothes,gadgets.While their Aussie counterparts in perth walk around like drugged up tramps,heading for Margaret river.Aussie lifestyle? never really found any.
Aug 28th 2010, 5:09 am
#9
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Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: WA but not forever!!!
Posts: 943
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
I guess I am surprised that you get more out of Centrelink than you would in UK but have you also factored in the additional support you would get from family and friends which would be worth a whole lot more.
It's great that your DH has a job but that doesnt stop him from looking for one in UK, putting out feelers amongst the people he knows in the business etc - looking at many returnees they have been successful in finding a job before they left Australia.
With health issues, I think the NHS probably has the edge and if you add in the family support you might get then that would be a whole lot easier as well.
Dont give up, have a plan - set yourself some goals re employment, declutter your place so you can leave in a moment if you need to, work on ways of saving up just that little bit more so you can have the freedom to come and go because I can tell you that once you sense that freedom has gone, any feelings of disquiet or unhappiness get magnified 10 fold. You can call it your Freedom Plan! If you are lucky you may find a bit of support coming from your aged rellies if you put it out there that you would really like to reclaim your life.
All the best with it, it does sound as if you are between a rock and a hard place at the moment.
It's great that your DH has a job but that doesnt stop him from looking for one in UK, putting out feelers amongst the people he knows in the business etc - looking at many returnees they have been successful in finding a job before they left Australia.
With health issues, I think the NHS probably has the edge and if you add in the family support you might get then that would be a whole lot easier as well.
Dont give up, have a plan - set yourself some goals re employment, declutter your place so you can leave in a moment if you need to, work on ways of saving up just that little bit more so you can have the freedom to come and go because I can tell you that once you sense that freedom has gone, any feelings of disquiet or unhappiness get magnified 10 fold. You can call it your Freedom Plan! If you are lucky you may find a bit of support coming from your aged rellies if you put it out there that you would really like to reclaim your life.
All the best with it, it does sound as if you are between a rock and a hard place at the moment.
We brought the skip in this week and had a big clear out (that felt good). All I need to do is tax return then I could leave at a moments notice and leave hubby to sell car. He has a meeting with work next week.
In the meantime I'm waiting for some bloods and a couple of appointments. If I am not get anywhere fast I'll be back to the UK GP, kids in school until I can get sorted.
I am feeling a bit more positive and I am trying to focus on the here and now at the same time as being active. I've called up a local support group I went to not so long ago and that gives me 2 hours (kiddy free) where I can think about some nice things, chat to some other ladies and listen to various speakers on topics.
Will see what next week brings hubby with work. Hopefully bosses on board to help him stay in the company and work around his role / physical disability.
So I am trying to be thankful for what I do have. Beautiful walk today to the shops with sun shining. Kids on their bikes. Back home now with bubba asleep and the other two chilling out.
Thanks for all the messages
Aug 29th 2010, 9:51 am
#10
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Joined: May 2007
Location: England
Posts: 4,211
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
Yes, I didn't want to get too OT by asking, but having just learned recently what Centrelink is, I'm very surprised that the gov't support is better in Oz. I always thought that for low-income, poor health, and large families, the UK was about the most supportive country you could find ... not that you end up living in the lap of luxury, but you certainly get a lot of financial and service help (or so I thought).
Sep 4th 2010, 2:37 pm
#11
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Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: WA but not forever!!!
Posts: 943
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
Can't afford it but doing it anyway. Flights booked for 15th? Brits1... how did you find Chess?
Thanks for the support.
Poppet
Thanks for the support.
Poppet
Sep 4th 2010, 2:49 pm
#12
The Kwisatz Haderach
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: North Wales
Posts: 8,080
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
Sep 4th 2010, 6:47 pm
#13
Member
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Location: Home in Herts
Posts: 658
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
Sep 5th 2010, 3:06 am
#14
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 484
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
Good luck with your decision. Did I see you have to do a tax return? I am leaving in November and I also get centrelink payments. Obviuosly I was going to contact centrelink to stop payments but do I have to fill in another tax return for this year?
Booked flights yesterday and after initial excitement I feel deflated today wondering if I have made wrong decision, probably because wife wants to stay. kids glad to go back but I am questioning whether they would be better off here in long run but at end of day 16 year old hates it.
Booked flights yesterday and after initial excitement I feel deflated today wondering if I have made wrong decision, probably because wife wants to stay. kids glad to go back but I am questioning whether they would be better off here in long run but at end of day 16 year old hates it.
Sep 11th 2010, 12:55 pm
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 211
Re: Down in the dumps because we can't afford to move back with 3 small children.
Hi,
Just wanted to wish you all the best with your return. No doubt it will feel like you never left I'm sure. Thought I would just mention that I have been thinking about returning too. You have to do what is right for all of you. I feel contemplating it when we haven't even been here 12 months yet. Things in UK were tough for us but our family is still not happy? I don't know what to do but I am also expecting a baby in January and the Medicare system has been a shock.... the hosptial doesn't know what they are doing and everytime I visit all my notes are read back to me because I never see the same person. Havng a C section and I am afraid of that too... here I have learnt to think twice about going to the doctor and have never ever dissed the NHS system, compared to Medicare the NHS is a treat in my opinion. I think because I have experienced the difference my expectations are probably too high? Trying to relax but it is hard. Money is also a problem for us but we will see how things go.
Good luck and look forward to reading your update when you get back. Say hello to Tesco and Home Bargains for me
Just wanted to wish you all the best with your return. No doubt it will feel like you never left I'm sure. Thought I would just mention that I have been thinking about returning too. You have to do what is right for all of you. I feel contemplating it when we haven't even been here 12 months yet. Things in UK were tough for us but our family is still not happy? I don't know what to do but I am also expecting a baby in January and the Medicare system has been a shock.... the hosptial doesn't know what they are doing and everytime I visit all my notes are read back to me because I never see the same person. Havng a C section and I am afraid of that too... here I have learnt to think twice about going to the doctor and have never ever dissed the NHS system, compared to Medicare the NHS is a treat in my opinion. I think because I have experienced the difference my expectations are probably too high? Trying to relax but it is hard. Money is also a problem for us but we will see how things go.
Good luck and look forward to reading your update when you get back. Say hello to Tesco and Home Bargains for me