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do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Old Jan 9th 2006, 9:19 pm
  #16  
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by janeyray
Goodness, I wonder how many people if they are down right 100% honest with themselves actually go to OZ without bothering to change the simple things in their lives in the UK...things that may make them happier? I'm not getting at you, because we did exactly the same

Think I'll do a post about this.
Hi janeyray

I agree some people will move to Aus without first changing things in UK but this isn't the driving force behind why all people chose to move to Aus. Everyone has their reasons and no doubt each of our reasons will be different.

I had a superb job in the UK, was promoted in my last year, got an MBA through sponsorship from my company, a company car, company benefits, lovely house, great family and friends...blah, blah, blah..so as you can see there was no push factor for me to leave UK.

Our decision to leave UK was not because we thought we could live mortgage free, nor was it because we thought we'd get fantastic jobs......it was mainly for the weather and the lifestyle changes we would achieve as a result of this. Let's face it, apart from the weather, everything is the same e.g crime, mortgages, the need to work, graffiti etc, etc...

So for us it was simply the need to get away from the constant grey skies and the way this made us feel and we had no pre-conceived ideas about Aus ....we just took Aus as we found it when we got here and luckily we liked what we saw and are very happy.

Don't get me wrong, Aus is NOT utopia.... as you say..jobs are generally less well paid [true mainly for white collar workers] and most of us spend LOADS of cash re-establishing our lives so the consequence is you have extended mortgages when you get here...and then there's the fact you also have to start making friends etc, etc....so it's no "easy street" starting life here again in Aus. It's for these reasons that people forget that these things take a toll on you, especially with all the stress of getting here in the first place. I remember thinking when I got my visa that this was the start, not the end of this long and lonely road of emigration...and I wasn't wrong. Eighteen months later and we are as happy as Larry but not everything has fallen into place even now...

OK...we have got a house [with a mortgage!]...and are both working....but the job situation is dire here with temp contracts the norm and no holiday/sick pay etc....and so we are still looking for decent jobs that we would like to stay in. So not everything's perfect..

The morale of the story is that leaving UK should not be based on dreams of a better life. It should be based on dreams of a different life.

A life with as many hardships if not more to begin with. You have got to want this bad enough and you have to have the willpower and tenacity to start all over again, forfeiting all that you've left in the UK....and in effect start all over again. It takes quite a few years until you reap the rewards as it doesn't happen over night.

In the meantime there is a lot of heartbreak along the way...in one way or another...

To those returning, good luck...at least you tried. If Aus wasn't for you then good on ya for having the guts to try and for returning.

For those contemplating the move out here, be realistic. It will, without any doubt be hard, and in many, many different ways and you wont even know until you get here....but it is worth it if you appreciate what Aus has to offer and if you are realistic in your demands on yourself and Australia.

Good luck
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Old Jan 9th 2006, 11:10 pm
  #17  
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by phoenixinoz
Hi janeyray

The morale of the story is that leaving UK should not be based on dreams of a better life. It should be based on dreams of a different life.

Yes you're right, it's hard to focus on that though isn't it when the emmigration ball is rolling and you just want to leave the UK. I'm glad it's worked out for you though and you have a happy life there.
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Old Jan 10th 2006, 12:47 am
  #18  
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by phoenixinoz
For those contemplating the move out here, be realistic. It will, without any doubt be hard, and in many, many different ways and you wont even know until you get here....but it is worth it if you appreciate what Aus has to offer and if you are realistic in your demands on yourself and Australia.
Good point, P. But it's nigh on impossible to be (truly) realistic. Most people emigrate without having spent any time in the place they're about to call home. And that's excluding the people planning to emigrate without ever having been to the place! You end up comparing the familiar with the expected (or worse, the imagined). Research helps, but you have to work hard to keep those hopes in check. But I'm a pessimist, I always imagine the worst case scenario, so I'm constantly amazed when it turns out to be OK.

Originally Posted by phoenixinoz
The morale of the story is that leaving UK should not be based on dreams of a better life. It should be based on dreams of a different life.
Exactly.
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Old Jan 10th 2006, 9:11 am
  #19  
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by janeyray
Yes you're right, it's hard to focus on that though isn't it when the emmigration ball is rolling and you just want to leave the UK. I'm glad it's worked out for you though and you have a happy life there.
Hi Janey

I agree with you too

No one leaves UK for a worse life in Aus do they....and as you say, when it doesn't work out for whatever reason [and by gum there are loads of reasons, each unique to each person/family]...then it's as hard to return as it is to go to Aus in the first place

It's for this reason that I admire people who at least have the guts to say "OK...enoughs enough" ...and go back. At least they have made a decision and don't prolong their misery any longer than needs be. Much better to do this as Life is too short to make yourself any more unhappy than necessary.

Anyways, we are who we are. We are all unique and at the end of the day no one can dictate to anyone else what makes them tick. Aus isn't everyones cup a tea and it's no one Else's business but your own if you don't like it for whatever reason. After all, the only people who matter are you!

Glad to hear you are enjoying your life "back home" Janey....seems like you made the right decision for you and your family

[funny....but I no longer refer to UK as back home....somaybe I'm a true refugee now ]
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Old Jan 10th 2006, 9:24 am
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by Geordie George
Good point, P. But it's nigh on impossible to be (truly) realistic. Most people emigrate without having spent any time in the place they're about to call home. And that's excluding the people planning to emigrate without ever having been to the place! You end up comparing the familiar with the expected (or worse, the imagined). Research helps, but you have to work hard to keep those hopes in check. But I'm a pessimist, I always imagine the worst case scenario, so I'm constantly amazed when it turns out to be OK.



Exactly.
Ayup m8...long time no speak....happy New Year to ya

Yep, I agree. It is very, very difficult to be realistic about the move to Aus if you've never been before. And I agree that even if you have been to Aus, it's usually on holiday so it's not quite the same.

I suppose what we are all saying is that no one *really* knows what it's going to be like until they get here do they. It's one big gamble however well prepared we think we are, we never know until we live the reality of it all. And then it could simply be a case of one partner not liking it, or a bad run of luck or not finding any decent work etc....and then something "breaks the camels back*......but you don't know this till it happens I suppose and then everyone's different in how it effects them

I count myself extremely lucky. Lucky that my other half loves it and we have found somewhere we both feel comfortable. That's not to say we don't miss some things UK....after all we have a son there [as well as one son here]...and I have a brother and sister and their families there too....so living here doesn't come without a *price*....but we have worked round these issues as best we can and have reconciled that nothing in life is perfect

Anyways, good luck to you matey.....and good luck to everyone on here..wherever you are or wherever you want to be in the world
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Old Jan 10th 2006, 12:29 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by wickpayne
I find your thread quite interesting. I'm new to the site today and was just pottering around when I came across your interesting question.

I've been in Australia 6 mths now with a further 18mths to go and I am sick and tired of defending my intentions to return to the UK at the end of it, to Aussies and Brits alike.

A lot of people over here seem so quick to slate the UK, unfairly so, and these people believe that anyone game enough to move to Australia would be mad to give up the life style over here as it is "so much better than the UK". I disagree. It's a totally different lifestyle to the UK and is, in my opinion a difficult one to compare.

Some people seem to have difficulty in believing I didn't leave the UK because I couldn't stand the cold anymore, or the london tube system, or the expensive living costs. I left the UK for a new experience and I'll whole heartedly admit it's an amazing one at that.

The things I've outlined above all exist in the UK (the cold etc) but the UK has so much more to offer and if people could just see past that.... to the incredibly distinct season changes, the accessibilty to Europe with all those amazing cultures, the quaint little villages with all that history....

The more people tell me I will stay in Australia forever, the more determined I seem to be to return to the UK.

Seems I don't need to flip the coin just yet but ask me in 18 mths time!!!
Let me guess....a large number of the people telling you that you are mad to want to return to the UK are Brits who have never lived in Oz, and Aussies who have never left Australia!!

Go with your instincts - only YOU know what is best for you.
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Old Jan 10th 2006, 12:56 pm
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by HiddenPaw
Let me guess....a large number of the people telling you that you are mad to want to return to the UK are Brits who have never lived in Oz, and Aussies who have never left Australia!!

Go with your instincts - only YOU know what is best for you.
I'm being nosey now cause you haven't replied to my PM's - hint hint

Where is your heart?? Is it still in OZ???

We have had more hassle with the landscaper and again as soon as thing start to go wrong we both wish that we was back in the UK! Weird thing is I am now making some really true friends and I don't know if I can leave them behind? Can friendship bonds become stronger than family bonds??? They certainly seem to understand me more!!
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Old Jan 10th 2006, 8:00 pm
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by woodyinoz
I'm being nosey now cause you haven't replied to my PM's - hint hint

Where is your heart?? Is it still in OZ???

We have had more hassle with the landscaper and again as soon as thing start to go wrong we both wish that we was back in the UK! Weird thing is I am now making some really true friends and I don't know if I can leave them behind? Can friendship bonds become stronger than family bonds??? They certainly seem to understand me more!!
Oops....I thought you might be fed of hearing about my mother in law so I haven't replied yet . Consider it my next task this evening!!

I think friends and family can serve different purposes but there will often be a crossover. It's true friends can understand you better, but perhaps you can lean harder on your family? In moving away from your own family, maybe we all look for a substitute family to a certain extent. (without the politis of course!)

I used to see all the families having their weekend BBQs down at Yarra Bend and it made me feel really lonely in Oz.....but I would equally have taken a big group of trusted or long-standing friends to do that with.
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Old Jan 10th 2006, 11:12 pm
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by HiddenPaw
Let me guess....a large number of the people telling you that you are mad to want to return to the UK are Brits who have never lived in Oz, and Aussies who have never left Australia!!

Go with your instincts - only YOU know what is best for you.

Suprisingly enough the Brits saying I'm mad to go back to the UK are british expats in Oz! They think I should at least wait til I have citizenship so I can come and go as I please - especially when I reach retirement I can retire over here. Quite frankly - when I'm old enough to retire (I have a while yet!!) I'd like to think I have kids and gran kids by then (who are likely to be based in the UK although you can't be certain) and the last thing on my mind would be to up sticks and move away from them to Australia!
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Old Jan 10th 2006, 11:28 pm
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by wickpayne
Suprisingly enough the Brits saying I'm mad to go back to the UK are british expats in Oz! They think I should at least wait til I have citizenship so I can come and go as I please - especially when I reach retirement I can retire over here. Quite frankly - when I'm old enough to retire (I have a while yet!!) I'd like to think I have kids and gran kids by then (who are likely to be based in the UK although you can't be certain) and the last thing on my mind would be to up sticks and move away from them to Australia!
oh true, my MIL & FIL have a house in the Canaries they spend a few months between the Uk and there however she hates being there as she wants to be with her grand children, she feels she misses out. Unfortunately he loves it so off she trots after him all the time.
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