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do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Old Jan 7th 2006, 2:51 am
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Default do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

hi guys

now this may seem like a really, really stupid thread to start, especially as im not going to post again for 3 days (then i will explain why its not as daft as you think!) but i want to give you the time to do the first exercise before you know the reasoning behind it. so think about exactly what you did, when you followed the instructions and how u felt....

you know sometimes people say, go with your gut reaction and you say to yourself something like"i want to go back to the uk", then seconds or hours later u justify the alternative eg "maybe its homesickness, weathers great, schools good etc etc and before you know it when people ask what your gut reaction is, ie what you truely want, you end up saying "i dunno". then you get in turmoil like JoDs thread and millions of others...

someone told me to do this everytime Im not 100% sure of what I want and it works for me. Some of you will say im fickle etc, but if it helps some of you be more in tune with your thoughts/feelings thats good. (it'll sound crap til I post again, so bear with me!)

Get a coin to toss
Decide on the outcome. i.e. heads oz is where i should be, tails its the Uk or vise-versa
what happened?

dont reply with any ideas as to the reasonong behind this as it may alter the way people do it. only worksif u dont know why.

speak later
c xxx

Last edited by chance to be; Jan 7th 2006 at 3:56 am.
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Old Jan 7th 2006, 3:00 am
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by chance to be
hi guys

now this may seem like a really, really stupid thread to start, especially as im not going to post again for 3 days (then i will explain why its not as daft as you think!) but i want to give you the time to do the first exercise before you know the reasoning behind it. so think about exactly what you did, when you followed the instructions and how u felt....

you know sometimes people say, go with your gut reaction and you say to yourself something like"i want to go back to the uk", then seconds or hours later u justify the alternative eg "maybe its homesickness, weathers great, schools good etc etc and before you know it when people ask what your gut reaction is, ie what you truely want, you end up saying "i dunno". then you get in turmoil like JoDs thread and millions of others...

someone told me to do this everytime Im not 100% sure of what I want and it works for me. Some of you will say im fickle etc, but if it helps some of you be more in tune with your thoughts/feelings thats good. (it'll sound crap til I post again, so bear with me!)

Get a coin to toss
Decide on the outcome. i.e. heads i stay in oz, tails its the Uk or vise-versa
what happened?

speak later
c xxx
You should read 'The Dice Man' by Luke Rhinehart. He lived his life by this method (with some disastrous results and some exciting and bizzarre ones I might add!). Unfortunately it is a bit of a cop out for patiently waiting for the right answer to come. Decisions made on the basis of chance are often doomed because there will be no real conviction in the outcome unless it is the one that you prefer anyway. Where it can help is by sitting with how you feel about the random outcome, but then you'd have done this anyway in the normal course of evaluating the alternatives. But if you want to roll the dice/toss the coin again, then that may be telling you something.
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Old Jan 7th 2006, 10:14 am
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by ShozInOz
But if you want to roll the dice/toss the coin again, then that may be telling you something.
I do this with Angel Cards occassionally, but if they don't say what I want to hear I pick again which means I am NOT listening and what another outcome which is probably not going to happen . . . and before anyone asks I don't live my life by these cards and I am not a fruit loop Though the little blighters can be very accurate
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Old Jan 8th 2006, 1:46 am
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

I actually know what this is about but I wont pee on the posters bonfire, I have to say I often use this method when trying to make decisions and it never lets me down
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Old Jan 8th 2006, 3:24 am
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Is it along the same lines as kids who use 'eny, meany, miney, mo' to decide between two options? Previously they couldn't choose between the 2 and decide what they wanted. When the decision is made for them using eny meany, a lot of the times they will immediately want to change the winning option for the losing option.


Hope I not blowing the exercise saying that.

Btw, I flipped heads for the UK.
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Old Jan 8th 2006, 4:01 am
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

ok
for those of you who have flipped the coin.
if you havent yet, go somewhere quiet, think about it, do it before you read any more.

you've chosen your scenario...eg heads oz is best for me, tails uk is etc etc

it has NOTHING to do with how the coin landed, its the thoughts and feelings you associated with the outcome.

did any of you get the outcome you weren't expecting (eg Oz is best for me)? how did you feel? disappionted? how many at this point decided to do "best of three" to up your chance again of getting a different outcome? if you did best of 3, this is your "gut reaction, your instinct" or whatever you want to call it. your mind is helping you with what u want to hear, by telling u to try til you get what you want.

it is interesting if you flipped the coin, got the answer you sat comfortably with....because i bet u didnt do best of 3! like the people above, you know what you really want, but its so scarey when you do because it means you need to take action, make changes (or not) etc. thats why as humans we dont use our instinct as much (we're too social and have lost it over time)

if you got the answer you didnt think you wanted, but just accepted it...maybe you are not yet at the stage where you really know what you want. perhaps spend some quite time listening to your heart...

i know a lot of you will think this daft but it really helps me sometimes. sometimes i say " if x happens, y will happen" then if im disappionted by the outcome (because ive told myself this is final), i can sometimes surprise myself with this reaction. i haven't been listening to my gut.

I suppose what im trying to say is a lot of you on this forum seem unhappy and then others close to you seem to make you doubt yourself by persuading you otherwise. its fine to be pursuaded otherwise if you can sit comfortably with that - if you cant, listen to your heart and look to yourself at how you can perhaps make them see otherwise.
i really feel for those of you who are unhappy, if you are in a situation where you have other peoples feelings to consider, just remember there can be a win-win situation in the end. you just need to figure out how that can be achieved.

good luck and if ive made someone see things clearer, ive done my good deed for the day so feel fully justified in stuffing my face with chocolate and getting pissed!
c xxx
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Old Jan 8th 2006, 10:50 am
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

I know were you coming from...I flipped the coin 3 times.Head was UK, tail was somewhere else.
I had 2 times UK and was really happy with it and i was hoping that the third time would be head as well and was disappointed that is wasn't.

I think I just get confused be other people telling me, I'm mad to want to go to the UK.
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Old Jan 8th 2006, 11:38 am
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Smile Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by eurotramp

I think I just get confused be other people telling me, I'm mad to want to go to the UK.
me too, keep feeling i must be missing something...then knowing im not....!
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Old Jan 8th 2006, 11:42 am
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by chance to be
me too, keep feeling i must be missing something...then knowing im not....!
But why did you left in the first place?
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Old Jan 8th 2006, 1:00 pm
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by eurotramp
But why did you left in the first place?
i think i NEEDED to go because the subject of emigrating had dominated so much of our lives in the last few years that we couldnt move on in the uk.

it was things like; we wanted to move to a house with a garden, but then talked ourselves out of it by saying, well there's no point moving here as we'll be off to oz soon. same with jobs..what was the point of me changing my job when I wont be in uk much longer anyway. so we ended up being in limboland in the uk and if we hadnt of gone it'd been the dreaded "what ifs".

i think i needed to go to teach me to be satisfied with my lot...and hopefully been more settled and appreciative when i return. if i hadnt of gone, I'd perhaps gone on thinking that the grass is greener rather than looking at myself and my own attitudes and changing that instead.

i dont regret going..(so long as im not stuck here!)it'll probably make me a more understanding person in the long run. How about you? (house looked nice, by the way.!)
c x
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Old Jan 8th 2006, 1:25 pm
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

I only have lived 1 year in England and thats 10 years ago..hubby is from NI, but thats not for me.

I feel that we all could be happy there, because there will be no language problem anymore.
In Germany and Holland, I was the one who always had to take care of everything...her in Belgium we are all lost...none of us speaks french..its a nightmare. My kids only speak English and my older daughter has to go to secondary school soon, plus hubby got a job in Northwood with NATO..so he not even have to change his employer....and its a well paid job. Ok we lose our tax-free status and some benefits, because we dont live in a foreign country anymore and the kids can't go to private schools anymore and of course we will not have a house like this anymore...but the quality of life will be so much better.
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Old Jan 8th 2006, 2:25 pm
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by chance to be
i think i NEEDED to go because the subject of emigrating had dominated so much of our lives in the last few years that we couldnt move on in the uk.

it was things like; we wanted to move to a house with a garden, but then talked ourselves out of it by saying, well there's no point moving here as we'll be off to oz soon. same with jobs..what was the point of me changing my job when I wont be in uk much longer anyway. so we ended up being in limboland in the uk and if we hadnt of gone it'd been the dreaded "what ifs".

i think i needed to go to teach me to be satisfied with my lot...and hopefully been more settled and appreciative when i return. if i hadnt of gone, I'd perhaps gone on thinking that the grass is greener rather than looking at myself and my own attitudes and changing that instead.

i dont regret going..(so long as im not stuck here!)it'll probably make me a more understanding person in the long run. How about you? (house looked nice, by the way.!)
c x
Goodness, I wonder how many people if they are down right 100% honest with themselves actually go to OZ without bothering to change the simple things in their lives in the UK...things that may make them happier? I'm not getting at you, because we did exactly the same

Think I'll do a post about this.
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Old Jan 9th 2006, 10:38 am
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Wink Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

I find your thread quite interesting. I'm new to the site today and was just pottering around when I came across your interesting question.

I've been in Australia 6 mths now with a further 18mths to go and I am sick and tired of defending my intentions to return to the UK at the end of it, to Aussies and Brits alike.

A lot of people over here seem so quick to slate the UK, unfairly so, and these people believe that anyone game enough to move to Australia would be mad to give up the life style over here as it is "so much better than the UK". I disagree. It's a totally different lifestyle to the UK and is, in my opinion a difficult one to compare.

Some people seem to have difficulty in believing I didn't leave the UK because I couldn't stand the cold anymore, or the london tube system, or the expensive living costs. I left the UK for a new experience and I'll whole heartedly admit it's an amazing one at that.

The things I've outlined above all exist in the UK (the cold etc) but the UK has so much more to offer and if people could just see past that.... to the incredibly distinct season changes, the accessibilty to Europe with all those amazing cultures, the quaint little villages with all that history....

The more people tell me I will stay in Australia forever, the more determined I seem to be to return to the UK.

Seems I don't need to flip the coin just yet but ask me in 18 mths time!!!
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Old Jan 9th 2006, 7:55 pm
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

Originally Posted by wickpayne
I find your thread quite interesting. I'm new to the site today and was just pottering around when I came across your interesting question.

I've been in Australia 6 mths now with a further 18mths to go and I am sick and tired of defending my intentions to return to the UK at the end of it, to Aussies and Brits alike.

A lot of people over here seem so quick to slate the UK, unfairly so, and these people believe that anyone game enough to move to Australia would be mad to give up the life style over here as it is "so much better than the UK". I disagree. It's a totally different lifestyle to the UK and is, in my opinion a difficult one to compare.

Some people seem to have difficulty in believing I didn't leave the UK because I couldn't stand the cold anymore, or the london tube system, or the expensive living costs. I left the UK for a new experience and I'll whole heartedly admit it's an amazing one at that.

The things I've outlined above all exist in the UK (the cold etc) but the UK has so much more to offer and if people could just see past that.... to the incredibly distinct season changes, the accessibilty to Europe with all those amazing cultures, the quaint little villages with all that history....

The more people tell me I will stay in Australia forever, the more determined I seem to be to return to the UK.

Seems I don't need to flip the coin just yet but ask me in 18 mths time!!!

HERE HERE
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Old Jan 9th 2006, 8:14 pm
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Default Re: do you REALLY want to go back to the uk?

[QUOTE=wickpayne]

the accessibilty to Europe with all those amazing cultures, the quaint little villages with all that history....

The more people tell me I will stay in Australia forever, the more determined I seem to be to return to the UK.
QUOTE]

hiya and good for you... make the most of your experience away from home. The more I travelled as the yrs went by the more I was so pleased to return to the UK. The UK's not for everyone but for me it's home and I so miss the European cities being so close...always somewhere to go for a few days..take care
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