scot47

Silly ? Is there no class distinction in the Britain you experienced ?

Moses2013

You're the one bringing it up?

calman014

This is the age old dilemma of most expats. Of course the biggest issue is that of employment that underpins everything. Have you considered moving elsewhere inside Canada rather than return to UK? Finding a job is difficult no matter where you are.

Moses2013

Finding a job is pretty easy but finding a job that pays is harder.

not2old

Scot you like myself being from the dark ages, what would you say are the modern day class distinction in Britain?

With money (I mean real money) anyone can have just about anything

So, win the lottery & do whatever, so a lowly working class labourer could send their child to a 'snob' school, buy that Bentley, live in a million pound home, join an expensive members club. There isn't a door that one cannot open... all it takes is money.

"class distinction" the haves & the have nots

christmasoompa

I personally don't think that Canada would have offered my children anything that they can't get in the UK (with the possible exception of skiing every weekend!). We were moving from rural Home Counties to central Vancouver, I'm sure it would have been very different had we been coming from a grotty estate to somewhere nicer.

Sorry to hear that your husband has been made redundant. That was one of the factors in our decision too, after being transferred to his Vancouver office and told it would be permanent, they changed their minds after a brief amount of time - thankfully we hadn't sold up and moved everything! So we just scrapped the PR application and moved to Berkshire instead.

Best decision we ever made, I can't see any advantage that my children would have had being brought up in Vancouver personally, and I think they would have been disadvantaged in many ways. Out of interest, what reasons have your relatives given for thinking your children would be better off in Canada?

Best of luck to you.

Teaandtoday5

^This.

You don't say how old your kids are, but unless they are very young four years is probably long enough for them to already be settled. But they sound active and involved, and you obviously care enough for them to be OK wherever you end up.

I would say that the biggest threat to their well-being is if you and your husband become entrenched on opposite sides of this dilemma.

You say that your new doctor has helped your health improve. If your illness was caused by wanting to return to the uk you have still managed to improve things while still being in Canada, and maybe you will find it better now you feel better?

Obviously all you can do is keep talking, but maybe it's not the best time to make a huge decision when you've just had the big shock of redundancy?

Mummy in the foothills

The best place to raise children is one where they are surrounded by people who love and support them. The actual country isn't that important. Children succeed in all countries just as some children don't succeed in all countries. It's who is encouraging and supporting them that matters.

Rooander

Hi Bumblebee, word for word I could of written exactly what you just wrote.
We have been here in Saskatoon nearly 8 years, moved house 4 times & now have the house of my dreams. I have 4 children, 1 of which has just moved to Vancouver and the younger 3 are still at school. My husband has a job which takes him away from us sometime 3 weeks at a time & because of this I stay at home and don't work.
I too still to this day don't feel like I fit in here, I have made some nice friends but its not the same friendship as my home friends.
I detest the winters here, we're not a winter sporting family ie we don't skate or ski so winter for us is hibernation period................I hate that.
I hate that we cant just nip to shop or take a nice stroll without getting bundled up. Theres many many more reasons but these are just a few.
So all in all I want to go home. My husband and kids are all on board so it should be easy right?
But no, I have this terrible feeling that I would be doing the wrong thing. My main problem is schools for the kids. My youngest is 5 and hasn't started kindergarten yet which means already she would be a year behind in the UK. The curriculum in the UK is a lot tougher than here.
People keep telling me to stay put as its far better for the kids here in Canada, but isn't it better if they have a happier Mummy? I try very hard to be merry and happy but I think they just know.
Its such a difficult choice to make.
We've moved 4 times here because each move I think will be better, this last move, we've bought the house of my dreams, Ill never get a house like this back in the UK, and yet, I'm still not happy.
Sorry to bang on but really I wanted to let you know, I feel your troubles as I too am having the same doubts.

brits1

I think it all depends on what type of lifestyle you live, when we lived in the UK we use to do all types of activities as a family both inside and out, when we moved to Aus we carried on this lifestyle with a slight variance, now we are back in the UK we still have a good lifestyle as its "what we do" that make our life good, if you want to have a good family life like anything in life its what you want to put in to it...its not really always the country that offers you that rather than your attitude....that's from my/our experience. I would not really listen to people who say your mad etc (we also had that...both ways lol) as your have to "walk a mile" in someone's shoes to know how you truly feel. Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel, you have been in Canada long enough to know how you feel about living there and you seemed not to have settled so well and then your husband loses his job will compound how you feel....all over the show I imagine. Look at all your options closely and try to also think about how you feel (us mothers usually put everyone else first) if your husband landed a good job in Canada would you be content with your life in Canada? if that's not a bad thought then stay if it fills you with a big gulp then seriously think of returning home as it is a long time to feel homesick. good luck

Lorry1

Hi bumblebee, it sure is hard deciding what to do for the best, isn't it?

I highlighted that sentence because I wonder if those people have lived in Canada, or indeed any other country, or have they always lived in the UK?

Due to our fantastic gutter press, people here are often down about their country, believing things are far worse than they actually are. The grass is always greener, right?

I fell for all that when I first left England for NS in 2007. I ran from that and other personal circumstances.
In 2013, we returned following my awful homesickness and depression.
Yes, we were scared. More scared than leaving for Canada in the first place.

I have no regrets about returning. I feel like I really belong here and see new things every day. My youngest, age 14 is doing fantastic at school and is happy. Hubby works in London and I work at home selling cruises.

Please do not be too influenced by those who have never left the country. There is a lot of good here and a lot of very good people.

Good luck with your hard decision.

BristolUK

Possibly this is about what they think you'd be returning to (be it their own experience or based on something like the daily mail version.

It's an exaggeration but makes the point quite nicely and is similar to the following...
Generally speaking, there are many decent areas/cities of Canada (outside the biggies) where modest resources - income, capital, qualifications, experience - make living in those places achievable in a way that their equivalents in the UK perhaps aren't or, at least, less so.

If you have the money for the nice parts of London or The Cotswolds, then great.

If job and/or resources limit you to Oldham - no offence intended, I simply picked from a "most deprived town" in England list - or some place rife with street crime or some area with poor housing conditions, then staying in Anytown, Canada - even with cold and snowy winters - might be preferable.

Teaandtoday5

Contrary to what some may think it is also possible to live a happy and (mostly) civilised life further north.

Moses2013

Yes, even in Scotland and Northern Ireland you'll find people with modest resources - income, capital, qualifications, experience - make a living.

BristolUK

Of course. Anywhere around the lake district would do me

Yes, but mention everywhere one could and that detracts from the point being made.

By referencing the best parts of London and The Cotswolds I was illustrating 'the country' and parts of a city rather than just England.