Bumblebee2

Hi,
I'm curious as to what you believe as to this.
My husband was made redundant recently (very unexpectedly), and in considering our options, one of which is returning to the UK so I can work, I have encountered some very strong opinions.
My MIL told me we would be crazy to consider returning, and many others have told us our children will have a far better life in Canada than the UK.
Has anyone had responses like this and what were your thoughts?
Prior to this (we have been here just over 4 years) I had started to become homesick and was at the point of considering returning. Especially before our kids become too settled. I miss family, the sense of humour, the lack of -30's!
I just don't want to make the wrong decision for our family and uproot everyone again. My husband spent 8-9 years here as a child and was the driving force for us to move here so he would not be happy to move back.
Anyway, sorry for waffling but I hope some of you here could offer your points of view please!
Thanks!

CanadianSpruce

I think it would depend on where you live in Canada and the type of things you do. If you live in Toronto and only really stay in the city, then I doubt life would be much different for your kids. If you live in Calgary and go skiing or hiking every weekend then maybe your kids would be better off here.

verystormy

I have lived in 13 countries and I don't think there is any difference in regards to better place to bring up children between any of the developed countries. Just different, not better, not worse. Just different

Bumblebee2

We are outside Calgary. My kids ski in the winter, as does my husband when he is physically able to (back injury). I don't ski and don't like the cold (I know, all I can say is that I must have really loved my husband!).
We hike in the summer however with kids and other stuff going on we only get out about 4-5 times over the summer.
We have tried hard to integrate and have made some good friends (some Canadians and some ex pats), but I just think about the future and the people I want around me as I age and they're all in the UK. Plus that the kids are missing out on knowing family and building those relationships.
I don't hate it here (apart from winters), I know there are pros and cons to both places, we have been here over 4 years and have given it our best shot. I still just don't feel like I belong and I have no idea why I feel like this.

Dorothy

Better than what precisely? "Better quality of life" is largely determined by children's parents, isn't it? If parents are involved in and interested in their children they are likely to thrive in whatever first world country they're living in.

Now...as far as extended family goes, I think my biggest regret moving away was that my children missed out on having their grandparents and cousins and aunts & uncles around.

Moses2013

I don't know why people would think that. Maybe people who moved to Canada miss family etc. so at least want to believe the place is better for kids. We all have different opinions, live in different locations and just because you live in Canada doesn't mean it's better for kids.


Just because you can ski in Calgary doesn't mean kids want to ski. Maybe the kids want to cycle and the UK is far better for cycling. OK, you can go mountain biking in the snow but pretty hard with a road bike. There's a big difference between living in Toronto and living in Gravenhurst but also a big difference between living in Manchester and living in Carlingford.

not2old

OP, sorry to read about the difficulties that you are having & with the job loss.

If you are planning a return to the UK why not take out Canadian citizenship if possible before doing so.

As far as moving back home ...how easy would it be for you to move back?

- do you have a property to sell or are you renting?

- on the basis that you move back to the UK, can you find work that will pay the bills?

- children adjust quickly & as for 'well the better life is they ski' is not a reason to stay in Canada if you are unemployed, health issues & don't have enough income to support the family, otherwise, how quickly will you be on the street?

- Of course moving back to the UK 4 years after leaving, (who knows till you do it) whether you can adjust, find work & accommodations to suit?

missmemum

Hi Bumblebee,
If it was me I'd be going back. We went through what you're going though many years ago and made the wrong choice. We stayed for the kids sake thinking Canada would be better for them but 20 years forward we now know it wasn't. You say you don't like the winters and they never get any easier, no matter where you live here. As for 'friends', we made lots of acquaintances but hardly any real friends and that never changed as the years rolled by. Being a expat isn't always easy but do what your gut is telling you and don't have any regrets like we do.

Bumblebee2

I assume well meaning relatives mean better than growing up and living in the UK. A few seem to think it would be a very bad thing for us to return. I know ultimately the decision is down to us however I feel as though I'm having almost too much input!
You're absolutely right about parents being involved no matter where you reside. We are both involved and we were when we lived in the UK.
Yes, the family relationships is a big pull for me, I regret that my kids have missed out so far. They had a wonderful time when we visited a year ago seeing everyone (I have a big family).

Bumblebee2

Yes, I can see that by making the move here we seek to justify the losses by telling ourselves it's better for the children. In some ways it might be, however in other ways they miss out.
True too about activities, my daughters favourite sport is swimming and rugby and our sons is rugby, football and gymnastics. They both enjoy skiing but I doubt whether they'd miss the cold.

Bumblebee2

I'm in the process of filling out my citizenship forms as I just qualified in December to apply. So that is underway regardless of our choice thanks.
We own a house here and could either sell, or possibly rent it out.
We have family in the UK and could rent a house from them until we decide on an area etc to move to.
Work wise I would find it easy, and I think my husband would too although he is busy pointing out all the things that could possibly go wrong (not in a constructive way, in a way designed to make me want to stay here).
I know there are a lot of things to plan and it wouldn't happen instantly, it would happen over a longer time so we could get everything ready (jobs for on return, accommodation etc).

Bumblebee2

I'm sorry to hear you've been unhappy with the choice you made. Is there no possibility of returning now?
You're so right about the winters, real feel of -35 today, and I know I knew the winters could be bad however there is a difference in expecting it and experiencing it! I find I am inactive all winter as i enjoy walking but outside (neck injury limits me), and not in a gym etc. I have found my health has deteriorated since I've lived here, then six months ago I found an amazing Dr. He has helped me feel more like my old self which is why I'm wondering if I always did want to return but I suppressed it and became sicker. Now I feel a lot better I'm thinking about what I want, of course the problem is that it's the opposite to what my husband wants!

Bumblebee2

I do appreciate all your replies, thank you for spending the time to do that

scot47

Britain might be better if you can send the kids to Eton or Cheltenham.

verystormy

What a silly comment