USAGypsies

Firstly I need to apologise if this is a bit waffly - I think the combination of newborn induced lack of sleep and a stinking cold for which I am totoally living on tylenol and tea may be making me even more waffly than usual!!!

Since immigrating nearly 5 years ago, I have noticed a change in myself.
When we initially moved out here the things that made us feel like we missed home was the usual things you read on here.... Friends, Family, Food, Footie, (the 4 vital F's lol), but now I have realised that in the last couple of years living as an immigrant, those things are not my only concerns anymore. There are other things that are on my mind and I've noticed that whenever things are not running smooth I get a sense of being overwhelmed much quicker than I used to that seems to flick the 'go home' switch in my brain.
Examples. When I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't bear the thought of having another child without my family around me (even though many members of my family totally do my head in lol). When my DH was laid off and started his own business, the worries of a start up business bringing in enough income made me want to dash for the airport. Now with this recession and all the insecurity the current state of the economy brings, I am feeling like I would rather weather a recession at home than here even though financially, we may be better off here in the US.
Here's another thing, since having the baby (and we all know how those baby hormones can play havoc) I find myself worrying about what I would do if I didn't have my other half anymore - if something happened and how lonely and vunerable I would be here. Someone once wrote on here that they met an old guy who had originally immigrated with his wife and she had since passed on and now he was stuck out here, on his own. That really plays on my mind because the truth is, if I wasn't with my other half, I probably wouldn't live here. My DH has said if anything happened to me he would go back to the UK.
I appreciate that we all have our own personal circumstances but I suppose I'm wondering whether other immigrants have noticed a change in their outlook and concerns the longer they have been away from home.

englishinfl

As they say here "hell yeah". I get more and more homesick with any little problem or concern, and now I even regularly dream (in my sleep) of being back living in the UK. I think that stress probably makes people want the security of things they know or something, maybe it's just uncertainty that makes us worry whether we can handle it here in the future, I'm not sure.
Maybe we just miss what we used to have?

I've been here over 5 years, and when I first got here I thought I'd blend in and adapt, and to an extent, I have. I thought about home a lot in the first few months, but never ever thought I'd ever go back there to live. I knew I had to give it a try and time to settle down. Over time, I've also realised that I'll never be able to blend in exactly, and I'll always be different from everyone here. I'm glad about that, because I don't want to be American, I want to stay Englsih but at the moment I'm seriously considering whether I can live here permanently, forever. I just don't know if I can do it, or if I want to.
See, I think that my heart is just missing England more and more as time goes on, not just the food and friends and football (yes, I miss that most, and saturday afternoons just aren't the same and nobody round here can even talk football with me), but I also miss the climate, the countryside, the small towns, being able to walk round the shops and not malls, driving on the left, people's accents, sunday lunch, the way of life, having a quick beer down the pub, everything... everything that I don't have here.
What I worry about now is this... what happens if I move back, have I been gone so long that I wouldn't feel I belonged there anymore?
Right at the moment, I'm beginning to wonder where "home" actually is, and where I really belong.
So, don't feel alone, it happens to us all, and we all feel it, to some extent.

Elaine B.

That thought crossed my mind many times too when I was in Canada I knew if anything happened to my OH I'd be on the first plane home. My OH works for bands and so has to go off on tour for weeks and sometimes months at a time so I would spend a lot of time doing the single mum thing with no family around for support. For us it really made no sense living in Toronto. Right now OH is away until the end of November but I have my family close by and I'm back where I feel I belong.

englishinfl

I'd definately move back if anything was to happen to my OH. There would be nothing to keep me here, and seeing as she's American anyway, her family are the only ones here for us. Mine are still in the UK, so it'd be where I'd go.
PS, i'm hoping nothing happens to her, I'd rather stay here or move to the UK with her than without her, know what I mean?