Vernons

Hi

Where do I start!! Coming to Australia was largely my decision and my husband was very against giving up our nice house, friends, good jobs and close family. I on the otherhand thought it would be a great thing to do and would not let the matter drop! His family were devastated and tried to talk us out of it but I remembered how great Australia was from backpacking and after a trip to Perth and Brisbane my husband agreed it was a lovely place to be.

We therefore quit our jobs, sold our house and said our goodbyes. We arrived in Brisbane last September 06 and set up home on the Sunshine Coast. My husband's skills as a maintenance fitter landed him a job quickly with a local quarry and I started getting my skills and qualifications as a primary school teacher assessed. After four long months of waiting I was finally registered with the Queensland board of teachers and allowed to teach. But can I get a position....not a chance!!!! I am registered with the Government supply agency TRACER but have I had even one days supply....no. I have sent letters, emailed etc etc but no luck. It appears that as I knew from the UK you have to complete your country service e.g. work in Alice Springs for 3 years before you can get a position in a more desirable location.

I would be up for completing my country service but we have a baby on the way and now all I want to do is move back to the UK. I am sad that we wont have our family to share our new baby with on it's first Christmas or birthday and I am finding it so much harder to deal with than I ever thought I would.

I am not a very good housewife and love teaching. I can not imagine doing anything else and it breaks my heart that I can't seem to do it here. This itself makes me want to return to the UK so once the baby is a certain age I could go back to work for financial and my own reasons.

So what do we do? Do I make my husband give up yet another job and go back to his family (no doubt whispering we told you so) and count our losses; many, many thousands or do we stick it out?

To those of you who gave it up and moved home are you glad you did?
Sorry for the moan

TraceyW

Oh Vernons, you're not alone. There are many of us here who feel as 'lost' as you do. You can come in here and moan as much as you like, we'll always listen.

I appreciate where you're coming from with regards to the teaching issue. I am in my third year of training at the moment and the only way I will get a permanent job is to go 'country'. I get bored here, I hate to think how I'd cope stuck in a remote town in the middle of the outback !!! I also understand what you mean about teaching being a 'love' job to do. It's either in your blood or it isn't. Maybe if you move somewhere a little busier you may have more luck with work? It's an option is you really did want to stay over here and make a go of things.

Or is your problem more of a panic reaction because you have a baby on the way? It's very weird isn't it how throwing kids into the equation can make you feel very differently about being away from loved ones in the UK? It's wanting them to grow up as part of that extended family and for them to know that special love only grandparents can shower on kids.

Have you talked to your hubby about how you're feeling? What do you think his reaction would be if you suggested going back? I am sure you're family back in the UK wouldn't be saying "I told you so", I bet they'd be delighted and welcome you home with open arms.

pommybird

Hi Vernons!!

Firstly don't panic - you will find a solution and sort it all out. Are you thinking of returning to the UK solely because of the whole teaching thing or is it more than that?? Do you miss the UK and your family, do you want to bring your baby up surrounded by family?? If it's just the teaching thing bringing you back, perhaps you should pursue it a bit further and give Oz another go?? But if you think Oz is not for you and you want to come back because of family etc then it's easy - come on back. We returned to the UK after 2 years in Perth - my husband gave up his job, we wasted a ton of money, but I am still so glad we did it - don't worry about your husband's 'I told you so' - at least he wants to come back - there are many on this forum that are stuck in Oz because their spouses do not want to return to the UK so be thankful you are not stuck in that scenario!!

At least you can say you gave Australia a go - good on you - lots of people dream about it but never do it.

In answer to your last question - yes yes yes!!!! We are definitely glad we gave it all up and came home, but we were sure Oz wasn't for us and that the UK would only ever be home - if you feel like that all I can say is come on home!! It's spring here, the time for new beginnings and re-birth so your timing couldn't be better.

One moment I will never forget was our plane ride home, hubby and the kids were alseep - I was anxious about our return and pacing round the plane, suddenly I looked out the window at the back of the plane and as I looked I saw the snow capped mountains of the himalayas and all of a sudden, it sounds silly, but I appreciated what a huge and wonderous world we live in and how lucky I was to have happy and healthy children and a fantastic husband and really that was all that mattered. 'What the hell is she going on about' I hear you say - well I guess what I'm saying is that some problems seem unsurmountable at the time but are really quite easily sorted out. Sit down, talk to your hubby, make a decision and it'll all be fine!!

Lots of luck and best wishes to you, I'm sure 'it'll all come out in the wash!!'

woodyinoz

Don't ever feel bad about going to Australia. You have been very brave and tried a new life.

Situations do change and we all have to change and adapt with them. A new baby can really change your perspective on life and what is important to you. I guess that only you can decide where you go from here. My only advise is not to rush into things. Your views on being a house wife may differ when your baby comes along. For me it was the best thing. I only returned to work after three kids and that was for my sanity and to make hubby have the grief for a while
Congratulations on the pregnancy by the way

I spent years in Melbourne wondering if moving back was for us.I had a pro's and cons list that was constantly changing. Can't understand it now... love it here, should have come back ages ago... but then things may have been different if I came back straight away!

atkinsfamily

Hi
Dont worry it's not a disaster. Thats how we saw it, it was a great adventure. but we decided to come home as pommybird says it was just not for us. We too felt sad on the way home but once here it felt right. We have no regrets we have done more than most.
Talk to your OH he may feel the same. thats what happend with us. A problem shared is a problem halved.
As for friends and family here no one has said told you so. they just want all the gossip and answers to many questions.
we too lost alot of money, but we still had enough to put down a small deposit on a house.
Wishing you all the luck for the future what ever you decide.

Dreamaway 10

Hi there Vernons.I remember you from your post when you were coming out here like the rest of us.
At the time one of my sons school teachers who is Australian decided to go back home.They arrived last April.She has her family all in OZ so much easier, butwhen I spoke to her after we arrived last May she told me about all the awful problems she was having trying to get part time work as a teacher.It sounded like a nightmare.
Her husband got a job straight away as a surveyor but she struggled and struggled.
Anyhow as time went on she managed to get relief work which she hated and then last time I spoke to her she had got part time work with indigenious children.
The position she has is very difficult as she finds it very hard trying to work with the parents of the children.Without going into too much detail she is up against it.
I think she will be alright and stick at it but I just wanted to let you know how much trouble she had,so you are not alone.
Good luck with it all.
Having a baby on the way puts everything into perspective good luck with whatever you decide and remember you are not on your own.
We all are on the long emotional rollercoaster ride.

Dreamaway 10

I too am sad at the moment as the time drawers closer and closer to our return.
I can imagine I may be the same on the way home anxious about what lies ahead.
The world is an amazing place and I really do believe things happen for a reason.

thunderbird65

Things do happen for a reason.
I have not posted on here for a while as i have been soooo busy getting sorted, been exhausting sometimes. Moved back into my house after tenant found elsewhere, started job within a week back as a gasfitter experienced snow wind rain warm cold all around xmas partner and young son came back. started new job as gasfitter at
35k. Whist in Perth I learnt a new trade. ( hypnotherapist) done real well had press article on me and began to get recognised as a good therapist, worked from office in cbd etc. The downside of perth was the incredible bad luck I was experiencing culminating in what could so have been a fatal crash in my car which was my fault. I had high BP and was in shock for a while.

Now I am also starting a hypnotherapy practice here in the UK and everything is on the up and up, NHS listing Aus quals recognised here doctor referrals and now a trip to London to look at a possible associate pos in Harley st . If I hadnt gone to Australia I would never have taken my interest in hypnosis any further.

At the end of my road the sun comes up from the sea and sets the other endof the road in a brilliant red. the seathe last 3 days over the solent has bettered anything in perth for sure and the canals in chichester have been excellent this time of year. the signs advertising summer shows are appearing and everything is beginning to bloom. Driving into portsmouth the new tower looks impressive.
I will try and get fotos if interested. ( not sure about sun up ).

I have a lot of good things to remember about perth and have made many new friends and clients still email me, but coming home was the best thing i ever did. And NO its nowhere near as bad as the press make out . My eldest son still in Perth and keeps me updated on events there.

iaink

Sept 06 to March 07 is about six months

Who, after all their extensive research into expat life, can tell me what is often at its strongest about 6 months after arriving in a new country?



Rhymes with "Ultra Bloc"...

Being a seething mass of raging hormones doesnt help any either.

Hang in there a bit longer, remember your motivation for going in the first place, and dont do anything you are going to regret until at least a year has passed. Ideally stick with it until you can get citizenship.

Vernons

I agree with you on this one and after long discussions with my husband we are going to stay another 1.5years and get our citizenship. What with the baby on the way I couldn't work much in the UK anyway so it makes no odds whether I am not working here or not working there for a year or so.

The otherreason for going back is because we want our child to have it's family around it. I know people are probably thinking well why didn't you think about that before selling you house (could not rent it out needed the ££) and spending the money to get here. In answer to that we did think very long and hard and I thought the positives of Australia would outweigh this. It has amazed me how my perspective has changed now we have a baby on the way. I feel like a different person.

My OH and I spoke for hours last night trying to figure this out and I can tell he is just totally fed up. In his working life he has only worked for two companies before coming here and only joined the second compnay after the first (Westland Helicopters) closed down. He likes his stability and I feel like I have just come along and shaked that all up. I nagged and nagged until he gave in and came over for a visit and then it was a joint decision to give up everything and move here. He found it hard and had some terrible upset with his family yet he still did it and I know it was largely for me. Now we are here he has settled really well and is doing well at work with a promotion in his future grasp. Then along comes me again and now I want to move back because I want family involved with our child and after a year or two I want to go back to teaching. He says he doesn't mind and if that is what I want he will do it but I can tell he is bloody annoyed. We will have lost an absolute forune coming here and I can hear the pound signs clicking in his head.

I think we will wait another 1.5 years so we can at least get our citizenship but I am very aware that house prices in the UK are dramatically rising and he will hate work now knowing that he will have to leave that job again soon too.

I feel like such an idiot and lay in bed thinking how stupid I have been and wish I could turn back time and listen to him.

Est

We sold our house, our cars and shipped all out belongings to brisbane. We didnt think of the negatives of missing family and friends and only saw the positives.

We left home in November 06. We arrived in Brisbane in January 07. Lived with a friend. We struggled to get a rental as had no reference as we had never rented before. So we took the plunge and bought a house - what a massive mistake.

We put off having children til we got here. Now we are having to put it off again til we decide what we want to do but all I want to do it be back home. I really didnt appreciate my friends and family. I obviously loved and cared for them but I feel so selfish that its taken me to move to the otherside of the world to realise how much I need their love and support.

My parents are here in 4 weeks and my sister in law and husband in 10 weeks and then the inlaws in August they intend staying a while as they are retired. We are going home for a holiday in October and to make our final decision whether we are packing up here in oz and shipping everything back the otherway again.

I will feel like we have failed by going home but know that my family and friends will welcome me back with open arms.

We cannot sell up unti end of the year so OH has said we need to be positive this year and enjoy the experience and try and see and do as much as we can. We will deffinately be stronger people at the end of this tough adventure.

lollyno1

[QUOTE=Vernons;4571370]Hi

Hi Vernons

Ive been back less than a week. Got to mums about 12 am and proceeded to break down in tears, wonderiing what i had done. No job, no home, and little money.

I have a terms supply for summer term and have had a couple of days supply at my old school.

Ive been met with indifference by some (especially from some of my old work colleagues) family are happy to see me (although mum keeps twittering about the flat being a mess) and other friends have welcomed me back with open arms.

Its the normality of here that I have missed but I would have stuck it out if my principal had been more supportive.

I know in the area I was working they are crying out for teachers especially TRT, places like Port Augusta are advertising at the minute. They are considered rural as they are quite a way from Adelaide, however they are much bigger places than where I was.

Reading you last post seems to indicate that you are staying for at least a year. As you said you would not be working whilst the baby was so young so maybe this is the time to take it easy, enjoy what your life has to offer and who knows how you will feel in a couple of years.

good luck

lolly

jad n rich

Dont beat yourself up about it have you talked to the husband much about it, I mean if he didnt really want to leave in the first place he may be relieved as hell you now want to go back.

Having a baby on the way changes how many people see it, I mean bringing up a kid with no extended family is hardly ideal is it, seems a pretty valid reason to me, hardly one people can snigger at.

Youve done it now, got it out the system and to be honest you have to do that dont you?, if someone told you before you came the problems with jobs and distance from family you would probably have wrote them off as negative

Dont worry about it, if you want to go back talk about it now, be careful about discussing if we stay for 2 years we will get citizenship, I am not up on these things at all but were they not changing it to 3/4 years, would be a shame to stay for 2 years if you then find out its 4

Vernons

Hi Est and Lolly

It is terrible isn't it. I feel if we are going back it is almost with our tails between our legs.His family hated our decision to come here and have only started talking to me since the news of the baby. They thought we were crazy to give everything up, as did many of our colleagues. Like you ay we came out with our heads held high only dreaming of the adventure ahead of us. I too how now realised I am a different person than I thought I was and I do actually need family around me. Things like Christmas and the news of the baby are not as enjoyable.

I have spent the whole day thinking through what we are going to do. I have worked out how much we will lose by going back (brought tears to my eyes) and what little we will have left to put a deposit on a house. I then worked out what our living costs would be in the UK and it shocked me. In 7 months I have forgotten how expensive England can be and I would almost certainly have to work a few days with free child care for us to break even!! At the moment my husbands wage covers anything so anything I could earn would be for savings, holidays clothes etc. I know I am in a lucky position to not have to work to pay the bills (believe me we are not talking rolling in it here just he earns enough to cover bills but no money left over for holidays, savings or going out sometimes) but I really want to work.

I have emailed the QLD education authority to find out about getting a position in rural outback Australia and I will look into the areas you have mentioned Lolly (hope my OH can work there). Problem is that doesn't bring family closed and the crisp cold mornings which I never thought I would miss.
What a big f up!!

Vernons

4 years is right I think for people who have entered after a certain date. I will look into it though. I think we would stay until the baby is born (less than 6 months) just so there is a bit less to worry about and at least OH will be earning a wage. I think you are right though in that if we want to go back we should just get on with it instead of putting it off. Missing family being around the baby will only change if we get on a plane.