British Expats

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   Moving back or to the UK (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/)
-   -   Was it a conspiracy ? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/conspiracy-439527/)

bramblebush Apr 3rd 2007 7:00 am

Was it a conspiracy ?
 
Before leaving the UK 18 months ago, I was caught up in the whole negative thing, everywhere I went people were moaning about the country and the government, immigration, youth culture, lack of respect. crime, safety etc, etc :eek:

Me and OH were feeling really unhappy about the way the country was and worrying about where it would all end and surely something terrible would happen soon (again, etc, etc) :eek:

So, we jumped ship before it sunk, whatelse could we do, it was a really bad situation - apparently

Now I have this feeling of betrayal, I feel that I started running and when I finally stopped to look round nobody had followed, all those people that hate it there are still living there, in the 18 months that I have been gone nothing has changed :frown:

I gave up my home, job, moved my children and they all carried on like normal as if none of these terrible things are happening at all and it was one big joke :o

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter or resentful and I'm not directing this at anyone in particular it is just that I can't explain the feeling any other way.

We are now stuck in limbo, we don't regret leaving but have this strong feeling of wanting to return but are now scared of making the wrong decision

I know that none of you can tell me what I should do but I would appreciate any sort of feedback, perhaps some of you can relate to this feeling ;)

MrsB Apr 3rd 2007 7:34 am

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 

Originally Posted by bramblebush (Post 4595443)
Before leaving the UK 18 months ago, I was caught up in the whole negative thing, everywhere I went people were moaning about the country and the government, immigration, youth culture, lack of respect. crime, safety etc, etc :eek:

Me and OH were feeling really unhappy about the way the country was and worrying about where it would all end and surely something terrible would happen soon (again, etc, etc) :eek:

So, we jumped ship before it sunk, whatelse could we do, it was a really bad situation - apparently

Now I have this feeling of betrayal, I feel that I started running and when I finally stopped to look round nobody had followed, all those people that hate it there are still living there, in the 18 months that I have been gone nothing has changed :frown:
I gave up my home, job, moved my children and they all carried on like normal as if none of these terrible things are happening at all and it was one big joke :o

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter or resentful and I'm not directing this at anyone in particular it is just that I can't explain the feeling any other way.

We are now stuck in limbo, we don't regret leaving but have this strong feeling of wanting to return but are now scared of making the wrong decision

I know that none of you can tell me what I should do but I would appreciate any sort of feedback, perhaps some of you can relate to this feeling ;)

I can sort of relate to what you are saying.

Maybe some of us have to justify our leaving somewhere by "trashing it" - so to speak. We see "problems" that are not really there - or are blown out of realistic proportion by the press.
I think I am guilty of doing this - it made me feel better about leaving!

jad n rich Apr 3rd 2007 7:43 am

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 

Originally Posted by bramblebush (Post 4595443)
Before leaving the UK 18 months ago, I was caught up in the whole negative thing, everywhere I went people were moaning about the country and the government, immigration, youth culture, lack of respect. crime, safety etc, etc :eek:

Me and OH were feeling really unhappy about the way the country was and worrying about where it would all end and surely something terrible would happen soon (again, etc, etc) :eek:

So, we jumped ship before it sunk, whatelse could we do, it was a really bad situation - apparently

Now I have this feeling of betrayal, I feel that I started running and when I finally stopped to look round nobody had followed, all those people that hate it there are still living there, in the 18 months that I have been gone nothing has changed :frown:

I gave up my home, job, moved my children and they all carried on like normal as if none of these terrible things are happening at all and it was one big joke :o

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter or resentful and I'm not directing this at anyone in particular it is just that I can't explain the feeling any other way.

We are now stuck in limbo, we don't regret leaving but have this strong feeling of wanting to return but are now scared of making the wrong decision

I know that none of you can tell me what I should do but I would appreciate any sort of feedback, perhaps some of you can relate to this feeling ;)


Yesterday, on the moving to aus forum another reason listed for leaving the Uk was having to buy your children bullet proof vests, complete with media article to back it up:rofl:

If thats not hysteria I dont know what is.

I think many people are giving up really good lives there and they know that deep down, they have to justify leaving by clutching at any old reason no matter how silly it is.

LouiseD Apr 3rd 2007 8:39 am

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 

Originally Posted by bramblebush (Post 4595443)
Before leaving the UK 18 months ago, I was caught up in the whole negative thing, everywhere I went people were moaning about the country and the government, immigration, youth culture, lack of respect. crime, safety etc, etc :eek:

Me and OH were feeling really unhappy about the way the country was and worrying about where it would all end and surely something terrible would happen soon (again, etc, etc) :eek:

So, we jumped ship before it sunk, whatelse could we do, it was a really bad situation - apparently

Now I have this feeling of betrayal, I feel that I started running and when I finally stopped to look round nobody had followed, all those people that hate it there are still living there, in the 18 months that I have been gone nothing has changed :frown:

I gave up my home, job, moved my children and they all carried on like normal as if none of these terrible things are happening at all and it was one big joke :o

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter or resentful and I'm not directing this at anyone in particular it is just that I can't explain the feeling any other way.

We are now stuck in limbo, we don't regret leaving but have this strong feeling of wanting to return but are now scared of making the wrong decision

I know that none of you can tell me what I should do but I would appreciate any sort of feedback, perhaps some of you can relate to this feeling ;)


Great post - I totally relate to this as we too got caught up in all the hype and negativity enough to sell up and move to a country that on reflection, we knew very little about. We too were convinced that the UK had nothing to offer anymore but that Australia would be wonderful. How totally stupid and utterly foolish we were. If only we hadn't believed all the crap, we wouldn't have lost everything we ever worked for :(

Am now back in the UK seeing things so differently (and not reading newspapers either).

seasprite Apr 3rd 2007 9:08 am

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 
I know that none of you can tell me what I should do but I would appreciate any sort of feedback, perhaps some of you can relate to this feeling ;)[/QUOTE]

Well we left to try to "improve our lives" and our childrens future (and because we could..) although did not dislike anything about the Uk per se. Of course we would like some things improved upon here, but nowhere is perfect. We were quite shocked by how bland and limiting our future looked in Australia and much prefer being in England. I only had the limbo feeling for a while, but that was becuase my heart was screaming out to get back home and my head was trying so hard to make it work in Oz. Limbo ceased once we made a decision.
Do you think France is really any better than Uk or just different? Perhaps you could try a small rural part of the Uk?! I don't know...:blink:

ex_exile Apr 3rd 2007 9:15 am

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 

Originally Posted by bramblebush (Post 4595443)
We are now stuck in limbo, we don't regret leaving but have this strong feeling of wanting to return but are now scared of making the wrong decision

I know that none of you can tell me what I should do but I would appreciate any sort of feedback, perhaps some of you can relate to this feeling ;)

You need to stand by your decision for a while and hopefully things will pan out. Its normal to feel pangs of regret about your former life, the grass is always greener after all.

Personally I have been out for 7 years; when I left I never imagined I would be away for so long (was just going RTW) but now I cant imagine ever living in London again. I used to be at one with the city but every time I return to see family it seems more grimy and violent, you should never go backwards in life, seize your future and make it work.

Issie Apr 3rd 2007 9:21 am

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 

Originally Posted by bramblebush (Post 4595443)
Before leaving the UK 18 months ago, I was caught up in the whole negative thing, everywhere I went people were moaning about the country and the government, immigration, youth culture, lack of respect. crime, safety etc, etc :eek:

Me and OH were feeling really unhappy about the way the country was and worrying about where it would all end and surely something terrible would happen soon (again, etc, etc) :eek:

So, we jumped ship before it sunk, whatelse could we do, it was a really bad situation - apparently

Now I have this feeling of betrayal, I feel that I started running and when I finally stopped to look round nobody had followed, all those people that hate it there are still living there, in the 18 months that I have been gone nothing has changed :frown:

I gave up my home, job, moved my children and they all carried on like normal as if none of these terrible things are happening at all and it was one big joke :o

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter or resentful and I'm not directing this at anyone in particular it is just that I can't explain the feeling any other way.

We are now stuck in limbo, we don't regret leaving but have this strong feeling of wanting to return but are now scared of making the wrong decision

I know that none of you can tell me what I should do but I would appreciate any sort of feedback, perhaps some of you can relate to this feeling ;)

Now i don't want to get into a slanging match about where is better but i just wanted to say that i have never felt as though i was pushed into any decision about moving to Australia. The Uk has been good to us, but an opportunity for us to make this move has come along. Whether it be a good move or a bad move only time will tell ......but you cannot blame other people for ultimately YOUR decision to move in the first place.

bramblebush Apr 3rd 2007 9:23 am

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 
Great replies - keep em coming they are much appreciated :thumbsup:

Seasprite, a rural part of the UK would be perfect but not sure if it will be in our price range :(

LouiseD I love reading your posts they are so positive, a breath of fresh air :thumbup:

bramblebush Apr 3rd 2007 9:30 am

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 

Originally Posted by Issie (Post 4595904)
Now i don't want to get into a slanging match about where is better but i just wanted to say that i have never felt as though i was pushed into any decision about moving to Australia. The Uk has been good to us, but an opportunity for us to make this move has come along. Whether it be a good move or a bad move only time will tell ......but you cannot blame other people for ultimately YOUR decision to move in the first place.

I was expecting a reply like this, just surprised it didn't happen sooner.

I did say in my original post that I wasn't directing it at anyone, which I saw as meaning I am not blaming anyone.

Thanks for your opinion on this, just what I wanted - different points of view :thumbup:

Issie Apr 3rd 2007 9:32 am

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 

Originally Posted by bramblebush (Post 4595933)
I was expecting a reply like this, just surprised it didn't happen sooner.

I did say in my original post that I wasn't directing it at anyone, which I saw as meaning I am not blaming anyone.

Thanks for your opinion on this, just what I wanted - different points of view :thumbup:

I hope that you will find happiness soon where ever it may be.....only you willl know when that is :)

LouiseD Apr 3rd 2007 9:33 am

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 

Originally Posted by ex_exile (Post 4595888)
you should never go backwards in life, seize your future and make it work.

Can't agree with this statement sorry. We returned to our old life because we felt that we had no future or opportunities in Oz so went back to where we knew we could make it and are thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. I don't really look on it as going backwards (although my bank balance says differently). Even though we've returned to the place we left, we have come back wiser and with a different outlook - the journey has made us stronger and we've learned so much along the way.

Sometimes it takes moving away to make you appreciate what you had and to value it more. Life is too short to be stuck miserable in a place you don't feel is home. Sometimes you just have to admit to yourself that you made a mistake.

seasprite Apr 3rd 2007 9:38 am

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 

Originally Posted by LouiseD (Post 4595942)
Can't agree with this statement sorry. We returned to our old life because we felt that we had no future or opportunities in Oz so went back to where we knew we could make it and are thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. I don't really look on it as going backwards (although my bank balance says differently). Even though we've returned to the place we left, we have come back wiser and with a different outlook - the journey has made us stronger and we've learned so much along the way.

Sometimes it takes moving away to make you appreciate what you had and to value it more. Life is too short to be stuck miserable in a place you don't feel is home. Sometimes you just have to admit to yourself that you made a mistake.


I wholeheartedley agree...going "back" is comfortable and surprising too.As Louise says you appreciate it so much more.

LouiseD Apr 3rd 2007 9:55 am

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 

Originally Posted by Issie (Post 4595904)
Now i don't want to get into a slanging match about where is better but i just wanted to say that i have never felt as though i was pushed into any decision about moving to Australia. The Uk has been good to us, but an opportunity for us to make this move has come along. Whether it be a good move or a bad move only time will tell ......but you cannot blame other people for ultimately YOUR decision to move in the first place.

Hi Issie - I think that every situation is different. Most people see the UK for what it is - some good points, some bad but would just like to try something different. Others love it here and would never consider leaving. Others like us, listened to negative news reports and believed that Australia would offer us some kind of sanctury.

Whilst I blame only myself for believing this and being so naive, I do think that the TV and newspapers should take some kind of responsibilty for what they are reporting. I (and others) put in a complaint to GMTV this week because of their feature Up Sticks to Down Under. They presented a picture of gloomy, grey UK, then cut to a picturesque Australia complete with happy family, sunny skies and beautiful beaches. To me this is nothing short of brainwashing - and unfortunately it does work. People do listen and believe. We may be thick, stupid or silly but thats the power of the box in the corner - why else do advertisers pay a fortune to market their products there. Fortunately GMTV must have listened to our complaints because they did issue a warning to viewers on Friday that emigrating isn't for everyone.

I must repeat though that I do blame only myself for being sucked in and not seeing through the hype. Bloody idiot I am :o

bramblebush Apr 3rd 2007 10:00 am

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 

Originally Posted by LouiseD (Post 4596030)

I must repeat though that I do blame only myself for being sucked in and not seeing through the hype. Bloody idiot I am :o

Me too !! :o

king kong Apr 3rd 2007 12:04 pm

Re: Was it a conspiracy ?
 

Originally Posted by LouiseD (Post 4595942)
Can't agree with this statement sorry. We returned to our old life because we felt that we had no future or opportunities in Oz so went back to where we knew we could make it and are thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. I don't really look on it as going backwards (although my bank balance says differently). Even though we've returned to the place we left, we have come back wiser and with a different outlook - the journey has made us stronger and we've learned so much along the way.

Sometimes it takes moving away to make you appreciate what you had and to value it more. Life is too short to be stuck miserable in a place you don't feel is home. Sometimes you just have to admit to yourself that you made a mistake.

As they say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder "" .


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