Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hey,

I'm totally new to this forum so firstly hello, not sure whether to post this here or somewhere else, there is so much stuff.

I am British, married to a kiwi, my kiwi son was born 10 months ago.

We moved to Wellington 3 years ago and have a lovely house, pre baby we both had good jobs and all is good.............however having just done a return trip so show the baby off, realised now that I would love to be closer again to my family whilst I have a young child, we don't live close to my husbands family so don't see them very much, they just aren't that close, but I am very close to my family.

Just really after anyones thoughts who has lived in NZ and moved back or are thinking about it, what made you move back in the end and any regrets?

Or if I have posted this in the wrong section, help!!

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hi there, I haven't lived in NZ but just wanted to welcome you to the forum. There are a few people who have been in a similar situation to yourself so hopefully someone will come along who can help you. :)

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Where would you be moving back too? How much did you see your family before you left? I have heard of people who came back to be near family and then didn't see them!! Not saying this would be you, but I can see it is a hard decision if you are happy with your current lifestyle.

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hi and welcome!How does your husband feel about a move back to the UK?I'm the other way around to you,I'm british but most of my family live in Oz and I live in the UK!!It does affect me sometimes!I have missed so many weddings,births (thankfully not yet no funerals)birthdays/xmas's ect and it can be quite unsettling I feel.I'm not that close to my family but we always did see eachother at important gatherings when I lived in Oz.I think its quite natural to want to be close to your family especially as you now have a baby.If your feelings about moving are quite recent then I would maybe sit tight for now,and see how you both feel in a while?It might just be a phase you're going through,but only you would know that!Best of luck and best wishes for future happiness!;)

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hi fianao
I am in Wellington at the moment and love it here but I am a 'true expat' in the sense that I am not here forever, just posted here for my OH's job - my kids are under 10 but not as young as yours. Your feelings are entirely understandable - why would you want to deprive kids of access to their grandparents - in my case - the grandparents are elderly and will not be around forever and luckily I was in the UK when they were babies.
It probably feels worse for you, since your OH's family is not providing a support network either...something we all feel the need of when kids arrive to shatter our freedom for several years.

I do know another expat, a medical doctor now happily back in the UK who worked in Wellington but did not return after going to UK to show new baby to relatives...so others have done it but her OH was also British not a Kiwi. I think a lot does depend on whether your OH is as keen and could you easily replicate the pros of your NZ lifestyle in the UK?

Good luck - if it helps, I did totally fall back in love (Not that I ever fell out) with UK on a 3 week trip back home in July....and it was seeing all the 'old old friends' and relatives which made it as well as the fact that the 'old place' was looking pretty darn good despite the recession...who needs Woolies anyway?

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Thanks!!

I would be moving to Sheffield where my mum lives, I haven't lived there fore years and assumed i would not want to go back to my home town, but its changed a lot and now we both really like it.

I'm lucky my OH is easy going and loves the UK, he would move if its what I really wanted and he would be quite happy there I think.

His family would be annoyed/gutted but like I said we hardly see them, which is beginning to upset me as we live near them and not my family.

Still it is a recent thought, so I will sit on it for a little while.

I really appreciate all the comments.

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Not sure I'd like the weather in Sheffield compared to Wellington :rofl: but no earthquakes at least.

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Again, not from NZ here, but from Canada and recently moved back to the UK. Absolutely and completely no regrets about moving back. It's brilliant!!

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Especially if you think of the temperature hereabouts. (Ottawa.) 31 degrees, but it rained this morning, so it's 40 with the humidex!:eek:

I'm staying in the air conditioning.

Bev

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Yeah it got like that in Montreal plus 40 humidex in the summer minus 30 windchill in the winter. Goodbye Canada he he

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hi ya,

We are also considering a move back to the UK. Hubby and I are British born. Been living in Oz for just over 2 years and have just had our 3 baby. I am really starting to find it hard to live with the though of not seeing my family for such long periods and them being around to know the kids etc.

Hopefully we can make a decision that will feel more right than wrong if you know what I mean!

Poppet

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Yep totally get what you mean poppet.

We are pretty sure we will move back, but its working out timings and everything, when to go, the fact that neither of us will have jobs for a while, its all a bit daunting.

Today was an odd day, very sunny, totally beautiful day, went for a walk by the sea with friends and had coffee and still want to move away, think moving for us really is the right option, but it does scare me.

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hello,

I am looking for some advice...............please
I am living in Spain at the moment (3 yrs), but I want to return to the UK
I have Parkinson’s disease; this has been diagnosed since I have live here.

My questions
How do I get a doctor back in the UK.?
Do I have to register as a UK resident, and if so how?

I do hope you can help, or send me in the right direction to get the information
Thanks

Jaylew

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Interesting, I had a very similar experience today - gorgeous spring-like sunny day here in the South Island too, and it suddenly struck me as odd that on such a fine day my thoughts were straying totally of their own accord to things like cost of plane tickets away from here.

You're not alone there on either count, believe me. It's a big deal moving to or from New Zealand, a far bigger deal because of distance and cost than to or from most any other part of the world, plus of course there's this worldwide recession happening which has taken away so much certainty and security for so many of us. Hard not to feel trepidation at making what can seem such an enormously consequential decision. Plus it's scary anyway sometimes to leave what's become familiar to you for the unknown, even if you're not that happy with the familiar. I'm feeling kind of scared myself about leaving, and I don't even like it here. I know leaving is the right thing for us to do, but the longer I'm here the more difficult it becomes to leave.

I do understand how you're feeling about your child and wanting to be closer to your family - my kids, by having been brought to NZ by me, missed the experience of time and love and lessons for life (and maybe even a better understanding or appreciation of ME!) enjoyed with and learned from grandparents far wiser than me who absolutely adored them, and now it's too late. I missed all that with my own grandparents, who all died while I was still young, and even to this day I think about them with a sad sense of loss at having been denied the chance to have known and connected with them.

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

If you were born and raised in England, I think you just go back, get yourself a place to live and sign up with a local doctor.

But they will want evidence that you're back to stay. I assume that's your intent?

Bev

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

thanks Bev
Yes that is what I intend to do, I have been told that in the hospitals, it has posters up saying expats have to be back in the country for 6 months before you can been seen by a doctor ??.

Jaylew

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

I know exactly how you feel Poppet. I am in the throws of considering it too. I think the thought of living in Perth forever scares me!?!?

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Wow, it is so good to know that other people feel the same, we are confused, been here over 5 years and have enjoyed it but are getting to the stage where we don't want to get "stuck" here. Both kids were born here in NZ and we have got our NZ passports now but the pull of friends and family is still very strong. We can't see ourselves being here forever. My husband has never been happy with the work situation here, not a lot of money for doing lots of work, anyway he has just been informed there is going to be redundancies at his work and so the decision may be made for us! Just wish we could go back for a year and see what it is like actually living back in UK. If we do go back we are going to try and rent the house out here.:confused:

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

We are going to do just that, treat going back as a sort of experiment, we have a wonderful house here so will be renting it out. We can then see how we get on.

Probably because I just got back from my visit, but the urge to go is still so strong, I miss everything and everyone.

We came to NZ for a change and because my husbands family are here, luckily my husband loves the UK so is happy to go. I can't see my husbands family being thrilled, but his parents are coming down to see us this weekend and this will be the first time since our son was born nearly a year ago and for me thats just not enough now I have a child. Before my son the urge to go was hardly there at all.

I have made some fantastic friends here, but somehow its not the same.

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Not Our experience

3 days after getting back after being away for 4 years. We joined our local GP. We told them that we had just arrived back and no one seemed to bat an eyelid. Family members have now been seen by the doctor twice, I have had a check up and my daughter is booked in to see a consultant. We have also noticed that compared with the Canadian health system the NHS is far better.

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

My understanding is that if you are back to stay i.e. not on vacation, you automatically qualify for full NHS care and indeed why wouldn't you?

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hello Well many years ago in my youth I emigrated to Australia from my native England but after 4 years of living there I returned back home, not that I did not like the life in OZ I loved it there, but it was when I was young 19 and single with no responsibilities of a spouse and children, so my advice probably would be no good for you, but anyway after 5 years at home in England I took off again and emigrated to Canada, stayed 3 years there and then took off again to USA, I have been living here for 32 years and I am now 64 years young, my life has been quite good here but I have always missed my family, but just got on with my life over here in Las Vegas, time went by I had my usual visits for a month each time back to England every 3 years, had great times with my family, I am a grown Man but I always cried when I left my loved ones, my family to board the plane to come back here,
Now I want to go back to England to live out the rest of my days with my Mother who is 90 years old now, and be close to the rest of my family, Sister, Nephews, Aunt, and my 35 year old Son, Im leaving the U.S. within a year from now, and I am thinking of nothing else right now, I can hardly wait,
but as I said my situation is a lot different to yours, but would I have done anything differently if I could roll back time? probably not, we all have to live our lives as we feel fit, and feel is the ultimate word, whatever you feel inside of you, whatever feels right for you at that time in your life is what you must do, but whatever you do decide to do go or stay if you love your husband make sure you stay with him, and talk to him and together in the end you will make the right decision, When you find love never ever let it go,
Regards, Rodney,

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

I really appreciate your post - so thanks!!

I think although our situations are different, I am currently fascinated by the draw a home country has on you.

Funnily enough I haven't been talking to my husband much and yesterday had a small melt down over breakfast and feel much better for talking to him, sometimes I forget just how great he is!

moving home is still very much on my mind, but I am also aware of lots of other changes in my life and want to wait for stuff to settle down to make sure that isn't impacting my decision

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hello fionao Thanx for a quick reply, I just wanted to share something with you, when I was living in Australia I was engaged to an Australian girl and the reason I left Australia was theresa and I planned on living in England together and getting married over there, and settling down there, so the plan was that I leave first, spend a few months getting a Job and an apartment and she was to follow me within 6 months, well this is what happened, yes I got a Job, there were plenty way back then in 1968, and I found a nice apartment for us to live in and our future life together seemed wonderful to both of us, we were very much in love, anyway we wrote to each other every week, ---- the snail mail was the way people communicated then as the computer was not yet even invented, and phone calls were way too expensive, so anyway six months past by and the last letter I got from her was she could not hardly wait to get to England to start our new life together, and she talked even about details of the wedding, she was due to leave Australia on the long flight to me in a couple of weeks, plane ticket in her hand, flight booked, everything was great and was turning out just how we had planned it, well a couple of weeks went buy and I received a letter from her Mother telling me that she had canceled her daughters flight to England and she feels that her Daughter is way too young to get married and to start a new life in England with me, so actually her mother forbade her Daughter to marry me, Theresa was only 18 and I was 24, back then one had to be 21 to leave the country or marry without parents consent,
So of course I was broken hearted, to this day all these years later, 40 years now has passed I have never forgot her and never will, She was my first and only love,
The morel to this true story of mine is if you find someone and you love each other never let them go, not even for an instant, the reason I shared my story with you is that if you and your Husband decide to go back to England,
Make sure you go back together, whether it's for good or just for a holiday,
And if the two of you do go back try to make it work in England, if it does not work out for you both you can both easily return to New Zealand, but at least you gave it a good shot, I guess what I am trying to say is do everything together,
I wish you two and your baby and ALL THE BABIES TO FOLLOW A WONDERFUL LIFE, and remember the secret is never take each other for granted,
Rodney,

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hi, Joefrank,

thanks for the info, it has made me feel a lot better.

I have just taken an injunction out on my husband, so life in Spain is not so good at the moment,

I think I might be home by next week,

Thanks for the help

Jaylew

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hi Rodney!Just read your posts and you sound like a real sweetheart.I left Oz aged 18,backpacking,ended up in the UK,met loads of people,but decided to head back to Oz.The night before I left the UK,this guy proposed to me!!!we were just good friends,nothing more,but he knew I was the one!Long story but a few years later I married an aussie guy (bad mistake that was!!!:frown:),ended up separating.I then started thinking about this guy in the UK.I wrote to the local newspaper in the UK asking if anyone knew his whereabouts?A week later he rang me!We've been together for 10 years now,married for 6 of those years!Did you ever try and track Theresa down?Maybe facebook?:DWho knows what she might be doing now?Sorry not sure if you are already married or whatever,but if you're single?

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hi Rodney, Yes, like "Living in Reality" I am wondering if you ever tried to track Theresa down? You can do a Google search for her name, that might come up with something. I did that a few months ago to try and track down an old college friend of mine in the UK, and lo and behold, her father's name came up in an obituary! He had died just a week before and so the newspaper announcement was still online. I wrote to the funeral home and they passed on my letter to my friend for me and now we email after 35 years! So you never know! BTW Thanks for the post in the other thread, re going back and feeling down. Why wait for easier questions at the US citizenship interview - life is short and precious, as well you know. They are not that difficult so I hear, and I am sure you can pass, your memory would be a year older if you wait anyway! I have my fingerprint appt for next week, all being well, I plan on moving in Spring of next year. Of course I have a house to sell...........another story:fingerscrossed::banghead:

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

What a lovley message, it almost made me shed a tear! All the best to you in your coming year.

kind regards.

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hi jon frank

did you find it ok getting jobs? seems some area's are worst hit than other...

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hello Livinginreality,
Thank you so much for your post, WOW what a story !!!! It just shows you that no one knows what life has in store for us and what that magic thing called fate can do to completely change our lives and hopefully put it on the right course, and now you have been together for 10 years, and thank goodness after the divorce from your Aussie husband you remembered that proposal from the English guy just before you left, the timing then was wrong for you, but it turned out that this man in England new then that you were the one for him, he knew without a single doubt, It makes me feel wonderful that you finally found happiness,
With me well I did finally get married here in USA it was 1980 but it did not work out and we got divorced in 1983, now still single all these years later,
thanks for advice on trying to find my Theresa, Im going to try facebook and google I may get lucky, who knows even if she's happily married now with half a dozen kids it would be nice to be able to just email each other as old friends, or she may be divorced like me and then as you say who knows,
I will post you again if I am lucky enough to be able to find her,
kind regards Rodney,

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Thanks pinkkristen,
All the best to you too,
kind regards, Rodney

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hi aesi,
Thanx for post, yes I am going to take your advice and try to google Theresa,
No I have never tried to contact her before now, maybe I should have, but it's never too late they say,
And thanx for the advice on not waiting for the easier questions for the test when I am 65 next year, I think yes I will apply now, after all it takes at least 6 months so as you say why wait, I think I will pass too, best foot forward,
I will let you know how I do, and let me know please how you do finally when you pass and get your citizenship for USA, and I hope it all becomes a reality for you and that you happily return to England in the spring,
Good luck and kind regards,
Rodney,

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Hi there,

Not sure if it'll help, but you may find this thread of mine interesting as it deals with a similar topic:

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=608297

Good luck!

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Just wanted to wish you the best of luck Rodney in your search!No back in 1979-1980 the timing was'nt right.The last thing I wanted to do was to get hitched and settle down LOL!!!When I returned to Oz we did keep in contact for probably 5 years.I then cut ties with him having met my first OH.When I decided to make contact via the newspaper,I did'nt have a clue whether my friend would be married,have kids whatever,but I just had to take that risk and at the end of the day,figured that if he was married and settled,just knowing he was ok would of been good enough for me.However he contacted me,he told me he had never got married or had kids because he was waiting for me to return one day!!!!!!So go for it,and if she is settled,atleast you'll know in the back of your own mind that she is ok.Let us know how you get on !!!You could try her local paper if you know she's in a certain area,or maybe contact one of her family members if you know them?Best of luck xx

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Spain is part of the EU so you'll have not problem getting medical care. On the flip side, we have medical cards to use in Spain (or any part of the EU) which is the EU equivalent of having an NHS number. My father-in-law lives in Spain and had no problem getting medical treatment when visiting.

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Oh can so identify! Had tears in my eyes reading all the replies! Getting too nostalgic in my older age! We're over in Tokyo.Trying to save up the ole dosh to return to the UK. Hubby is japanese,his family are awful....sorry to say.The pull of Britain and the thought of being near family is overwhelming.The twins will be six this month,wee bairn.....who isn't so 'wee' anymore...will be two in November.Hubby will be toiling away at the company and it'll be another milestone in their little lives celebrated with only mummy being the nearest family member around.Next Christmas...New Year. I actually feel like I am going a bit crazy at times with it all.

Well...on with the saving plan and hope or rather pray,a lottery win is on the agenda!

Good luck to you and tons of hugs!

Sammy and Clan in Tokyo!

Re: Considering a move back to the UK
 

Thanks Rodney, and good luck with your search. Whatever happens with Theresa, remember, it is all supposed to be. Yes, get your citizenship now, life is too short to wait!! I am going for my fingerprint appointment today!:fingerscrossed: