Confused emotions
Mar 1st 2019, 6:47 am
#16
Just Joined
Joined: Nov 2018
Location: Wellington NZ
Posts: 3
Re: Confused emotions
Hi it does sadden me to think you feel this way and that your wife appears to ha e made her mind up. But this is a big decision and 5 year is not very long in a new country, maybe you should consider some sort of compromise. What ever you both decide it will be ok, life has a way of working things out xx
Mar 1st 2019, 7:11 am
#17
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2014
Location: Martensville, SK.
Posts: 89
Re: Confused emotions
Hi it does sadden me to think you feel this way and that your wife appears to ha e made her mind up. But this is a big decision and 5 year is not very long in a new country, maybe you should consider some sort of compromise. What ever you both decide it will be ok, life has a way of working things out xx
I know everyone else here has had enough of the cold this time round.
I work for a company that has options to move throughout Canada but my wife doesn't want to move, well she didn't each time I raised the question prior to buying our house here. What will be will be. But the UK isn't looking too positive right now, looks a right mess.
Mar 1st 2019, 2:03 pm
#18
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 52
Re: Confused emotions
Well the first big conversation post the bombshell will be this weekend, I am on a shift right now were we don't see each other for more than an hour each day. I have lots written down, questions, options etc. Fingers crossed its just been a bigger emotional visit that shook her for some reason. Even family back in the UK said she was raving about how much better it was in Canada, maybe this brutal cold we've had in SK for feb has taken it's toll?
I know everyone else here has had enough of the cold this time round.
I work for a company that has options to move throughout Canada but my wife doesn't want to move, well she didn't each time I raised the question prior to buying our house here. What will be will be. But the UK isn't looking too positive right now, looks a right mess.
I know everyone else here has had enough of the cold this time round.
I work for a company that has options to move throughout Canada but my wife doesn't want to move, well she didn't each time I raised the question prior to buying our house here. What will be will be. But the UK isn't looking too positive right now, looks a right mess.
Mar 5th 2019, 6:07 pm
#19
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2018
Location: priced out of Waterloo
Posts: 105
Re: Confused emotions
That happened to us on our last trip back to the UK from Canada and we have heard similar emotions from others who have recently been back to the UK. We enjoyed our first seven years in Canada but then we moved to Victoria on Vancouver Island. Not only have the cost of living gone through the roof we have seen how the politics work (or should say doesn't work). Nepotism and corruption seem to be part of every day life in BC. The wrong people get promoted and many don't even have any relevant experience and get the top jobs. Its embarrassing because the better, more experienced people get left behind. People here seem to live in a bubble and very few have any worldly experiences. Now I understand the meaning of the word 'thiefdom' commonly used here. I could provide many examples as could my wife. We both have excellent jobs but are tired of the lack of culture. We have decided to move back to the UK and retire when our youngest finishes high school in about 3 years. Both of us would rather go asap because we no longer enjoy the place but think its best for our son to complete grade 12 before we go.
Mar 10th 2019, 12:26 am
#20
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 3
Re: Confused emotions
After 8 years of living in Napier NZ, we went back to the UK to visit my ill mum. After a few days there, my husband and I looked at each other and admitted we wanted to move back. We've been back a week and I can't wait to get back now.
Admitting that I wanted to move back has highlighted how unhappy I am here but I am wondering if it's all too fast.
When we moved here I was a primary school teacher, I found it really difficult to get permanent work and was second choice after beginning teachers as I 'didn't have enough experience'. After 4 years of this, I got pregnant. I stayed home with my daughter, who is now 4. I decided teaching was not for me and studied for a degree in psychology (which I've just completed!). When I went back to England, I caught up with my old teaching colleagues, my passion was sparked again. I told my husband that I would teach in England if we moved back. I've withdrawn from the post-graduate degree I was enrolled on in NZ. I'm worried that we have decided this big thing on the back of this big emotional trip, to go back to Brexit, on the hopes I will teach again. All this and we uproot our little Kiwi from her home here.
Please tell me we are doing the right thing!!!
Admitting that I wanted to move back has highlighted how unhappy I am here but I am wondering if it's all too fast.
When we moved here I was a primary school teacher, I found it really difficult to get permanent work and was second choice after beginning teachers as I 'didn't have enough experience'. After 4 years of this, I got pregnant. I stayed home with my daughter, who is now 4. I decided teaching was not for me and studied for a degree in psychology (which I've just completed!). When I went back to England, I caught up with my old teaching colleagues, my passion was sparked again. I told my husband that I would teach in England if we moved back. I've withdrawn from the post-graduate degree I was enrolled on in NZ. I'm worried that we have decided this big thing on the back of this big emotional trip, to go back to Brexit, on the hopes I will teach again. All this and we uproot our little Kiwi from her home here.
Please tell me we are doing the right thing!!!
Really, the emotional reasons are possibly the most important. But you can have issues ‘justifying’ these. The ‘ practical’ is not exclusive from the emotional, it can influence or distort your sense happeness and contentment. I realised this after I was made redundant last year and I saw what my son and I really had here in Australia with no family. I was not happy and in reality hadn’t been; the job was just a crutch. It was security and predictability. I am now in a position where my decision, emotionally based, is crystal clear; I genuinely was to go back home. In fact, I always did and I probably should have left the job several years ago and made the move back. That is probably my only regret.
