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chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Old Jul 25th 2007, 4:57 am
  #91  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by dunroving
Aye, I'm with you there. Last time I spoke with a school "friend" was the day I left school (except the one who also went to college with me but that's different). College mates flew to the far corners of the UK and although I've occasionally caught up with them on visits home, for an evening of beer and curry and a great catch-up, it's very much a "one night fling" type experience (and tiring havint=g to drive all over). Many friends are circumstantial, I fear - whoever you work with, live close to, etc., ends up being your friend. Move somewhere else, you drift apart. Some old friendships endure but they are the exceptions, I think. Family are a slightly different kettle of fish.
Well my friends in UK must be an exception then!!! I have really close friends I have known for approximately 30 years and we are always in contact (as someone else said on here, phone calls, text, emails etc)....

As for coming back to UK, I miss my family and circumstances have made us feel thats the place to be, each to their own and all that, I knew it would be hard leaving family and coming here but I wanted the kids and us to experience a different life, but now circumstances have changed and I know that UK is where hubbie and I wanna be at this time
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 6:34 am
  #92  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Kath & Graham
Well my friends in UK must be an exception then!!! I have really close friends I have known for approximately 30 years and we are always in contact (as someone else said on here, phone calls, text, emails etc)....

As for coming back to UK, I miss my family and circumstances have made us feel thats the place to be, each to their own and all that, I knew it would be hard leaving family and coming here but I wanted the kids and us to experience a different life, but now circumstances have changed and I know that UK is where hubbie and I wanna be at this time
I don't think you are the exception - if there's one thing that's obvious from this thread, it's that everyone has a different experience. It can depend on how long you've been away, how old you were when you went away, how close you were with friends before you went away, how far away you went.

For example, as you mentioned phone calls, texts and emails, I should point out that not too long ago, these didn't exist (int'l phone calls being essentially impractical until reently because of cost). When I left in 1983, I wrote regularly to friends and family and my Dad was probably the only one who wrote back regularly. Several friends didn't write a single letter.

Since I left the US (and after I moved within the US), I have found it much, much easier to maintain friendships there, I think probably because of the ease of email, MSN Messenger, cheap phone calls, etc. I've now been back in the UK for a year and have only seen two family members, one once and the other three times. I haven't seen any old friends (although that has largely been due to my financial situation and the fact they are so far away).
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 11:41 am
  #93  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Yeh I know what your saying, years ago when someone moved to Australia it was well accepted that you would NEVER EVER see them again how awful for people left behind......and they in turn would have to accept the fact that that was the way.....thank God its not like that nowadays....
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 5:34 pm
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Shivster
No and I was stunned by her. The vast majority of my friends have been fantastic. We chat on the phone all the time thanks to VOIP and when I do go back and visit we take off just where we left off.

I actually found that some friends have become a lot closer as we've spent more quality time together when I go back, or with a couple of them, when they've come over here.
That is so true. I can't say I have a "lot" of friends left in the UK - I left 20 years ago, but the ones I do have I am pretty certain will now be friends for a lifetime. We've done the long-distance thing, kipping on each other's couches when we visit, being bridesmaids and godparents, figuring out disagreements over the phone, etc. Things that many of the more casual friends I've made here would never have to do -- and probably wouldn't do successfully. Now that I'm finally moving home, my UK friends have been amazing -- buying kitchen stuff for my new home, etc., so I won't have to, driving me here there and everywhere, and just generally being encouraging. We've even started talking about where to buy houses so we can make sure we end up being old retired people together! Very scary, since we're only in our 40s. It does make you realize, though, how old friends can sometimes be the best. I really think having been apart can strengthen friendships and also whittles away the more casual versions.
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 7:00 pm
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Scout
Gotta disagree here. I have made friends in the UK just as good as those I grew up with or knew in the States...and while it's a short hop to Spain it sure isn't to the States.

My happiness here in my adopted home is not superficial either. I love it here. Have not been homesick either. I went back to the States for a visit recently and couldn't wait to get back here because 'here' is now home.

I know my situation is different than many on this forum but not all come back because they were miserable abroad. It was always our plan to live back in the UK. A few on this forum live or lived abroad for a job or other reasons and not everyone hated living away from 'home'....'home' is where I want it to be.
Well, I've got to agree. This is a phenomenon almost exclusively shown among people who move into a 'new' and 'immigrant' country such as Oz, Canada, USA, from Poland, UK, China, etc. It's not always true in reverse! -- I'm in Canada, and guess why I found this board?

Last edited by Nahn; Jul 25th 2007 at 7:13 pm.
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 7:02 pm
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Nahn
Well, I've got to agree. This is a phenomenon almost exclusively shown among people who move into a 'new' and 'immigrant' country such as Oz, Canada, USA, from Poland, UK, China, etc. It's not always true in reverse! -- I'm Canada, and guess why I found this board?
welcome to BE Nahn...
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 7:18 pm
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by TruBrit
welcome to BE Nahn...
Thank you, TruBrit. Wish I found something like this discussion board 20 years ago...! But there weren't such a thing 20 years ago, was there?
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 7:26 pm
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Nahn
Thank you, TruBrit. Wish I found something like this discussion board 20 years ago...! But there weren't such a thing 20 years ago, was there?
nope, times have changes for the better in some respect.

wish i'd found BE 5yrs ago when i moved here, would have made my life easier for sure

Nahn why not start a thread of your own and tell us about yourself coz we are nosey buggers
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 7:35 pm
  #99  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

I was just "talking" with my oldest Son, a 10 Year resident of China, i on my PC, he on his wireless Laptop from a Restaurant in Shenzhen.

We also have Mobile Cam, not the same as being there, but better than a letter every couple of months.
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 7:38 pm
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Howard1944
I was just "talking" with my oldest Son, a 10 Year resident of China, i on my PC, he on his wireless Laptop from a Restaurant in Shenzhen.

We also have Mobile Cam, not the same as being there, but better than a letter every couple of months.
yes we do that when we are travelling...it's great and makes the world seem so much smaller
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 7:41 pm
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

hi nahn, nice to meet you
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 8:00 pm
  #102  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Howard1944
I was just "talking" with my oldest Son, a 10 Year resident of China, i on my PC, he on his wireless Laptop from a Restaurant in Shenzhen.

We also have Mobile Cam, not the same as being there, but better than a letter every couple of months.
I know this is slightly off topic, but how are you doing this? I'm looking into it because I'm going to be in the UK for a year while my husband stays here, and we'd like to be able to talk to each other every day without breaking the bank. The idea of being able to see each other is also very appealing.

We've been looking into Skype, etc., but I would love to hear if other people have other suggestions or viewpoints.

Please let me know if this should be on a different board.

Thanks
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 8:02 pm
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by TaraC
I know this is slightly off topic, but how are you doing this? I'm looking into it because I'm going to be in the UK for a year while my husband stays here, and we'd like to be able to talk to each other every day without breaking the bank. The idea of being able to see each other is also very appealing.

We've been looking into Skype, etc., but I would love to hear if other people have other suggestions or viewpoints.

Please let me know if this should be on a different board.

Thanks

maybe start another thread as i'm sure there's lots of ways to do it and so many replies....i use a webcam and it's easy...i speak to uk friends that have similar
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 8:04 pm
  #104  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by TruBrit
maybe start another thread as i'm sure there's lots of ways to do it and so many replies....i use a webcam and it's easy...i speak to uk friends that have similar
I'll do that (once I figure out how!). Thanks.
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Old Jul 25th 2007, 8:59 pm
  #105  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Piece of cake, and I am a PC Dummy.
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