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chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Old Jul 24th 2007, 1:06 pm
  #61  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by dunroving
I think another part of the picture is the number of returners who say that their friends and family have moved on, and they have very little contact with them after they get back. Whether this is reality or the result of heightened expectations is another question.
I found that with quite a few friends. My best friend in particular dropped off the face of the earth when I left. First she wouldn't come round to my house because she said seeing everything in boxes would upset her too much. Then driving me to the airport would have been too emotional and visiting me was just out of the question! When I had my first visit back to England in three years she couldn't see me cos she had a cold. Awwww. Needless to say I stopped contact after that.
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Old Jul 24th 2007, 6:41 pm
  #62  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Big Pete
Well yes i think i am qualified , reasons like hate the heat hate the way the country is run and the people etc etc, i can understand but just for family and friends nahh sorry cant get me head round that one

Not in this day and age anyways

I go to a lawyer for legal advice, a doctor for medical advice, and someone who has experience of emigrating and living abroad for advice on emigration, which aint you matey.

Is it not just a little bit possible that people love their families and miss their friends when apart. You are entitled to your opinion, but I just don't get why you are on this forum. If you hate the UK so much why do you hang around this forum so much, why don't you go on the Spain forum and have a moan.

Jonathan
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Old Jul 24th 2007, 7:43 pm
  #63  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
Big Pete...Sue's told you before not to post on this forum unless you have something positive to add.
i am adding positivity

I just handle the stuff others are scared to handle , not my fault , and if they want advice on moving back matters etc ,,i am here at there disposal
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Old Jul 24th 2007, 7:49 pm
  #64  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Pete I'm sure you're well intentioned and I'm sure you enjoy the opportunity to take digs at the UK whenever you can, but there's not about your posts that's helpful at all. You've never moved overseas and have no idea what's involved in it, let alone the stress of having done it and moving back.
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Old Jul 24th 2007, 7:49 pm
  #65  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Shivster
I found that with quite a few friends. My best friend in particular dropped off the face of the earth when I left. First she wouldn't come round to my house because she said seeing everything in boxes would upset her too much. Then driving me to the airport would have been too emotional and visiting me was just out of the question! When I had my first visit back to England in three years she couldn't see me cos she had a cold. Awwww. Needless to say I stopped contact after that.
I expect your experience with your "best friend" was not entirely typical?

I think anyone who emigrates has to accept that life back home will go on without them.

It's largely up to us to maintain contact.

But I always find that, when I'm back, everyone is very happy to see me, and I slot right back in.

So I won't hold it against them that I don't hear much of them the rest of the time

.
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Old Jul 24th 2007, 7:53 pm
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by jonfrank123
I go to a lawyer for legal advice, a doctor for medical advice, and someone who has experience of emigrating and living abroad for advice on emigration, which aint you matey.

Is it not just a little bit possible that people love their families and miss their friends when apart. You are entitled to your opinion, but I just don't get why you are on this forum. If you hate the UK so much why do you hang around this forum so much, why don't you go on the Spain forum and have a moan.

Jonathan
Yes but if they are that close then they shouldnt go should they

I mean lets take a example ;

You get up one morning and you notice a red blob on your skin , you think hmmmm holy balomi Best go and see my doctor as this is a medical problem !!
Of you trundle and in you go he says well Hello Mr jonfrank did the ointment work last week etc etc,, you would say sure did but now look at this ! he would then look and go hmmmm looks like a case of red blobby jobby , you then would maybe say heck will i live ? he would say yes of course but can give you heartache if you go in the Sun , and get a lot worse ..

So now if you emigrated to a really Sunny climate would it not be expected that the red Blobs got worse ??

So in short if you are the family type then being honest dont emigrate unless you take them with you !!

Simple common sense surely

If you want to add me to your list of experts i wont mind just call me the Doctor of life , as i know it all
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Old Jul 24th 2007, 7:54 pm
  #67  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Elvira
I expect your experience with your "best friend" was not entirely typical?
No and I was stunned by her. The vast majority of my friends have been fantastic. We chat on the phone all the time thanks to VOIP and when I do go back and visit we take off just where we left off.

I actually found that some friends have become a lot closer as we've spent more quality time together when I go back, or with a couple of them, when they've come over here.
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Old Jul 24th 2007, 7:58 pm
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by busterboy
Is that likely?
Guaranteed after all like my karma reading says " Big Pete has a Reputation beyond repute "

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Old Jul 24th 2007, 8:00 pm
  #69  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Shivster
........I actually found that some friends have become a lot closer as we've spent more quality time together when I go back, or with a couple of them, when they've come over here.
Same here - seems to be quite common!!
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Old Jul 24th 2007, 8:02 pm
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Big Pete
Guaranteed after all like my karma reading says " Big Pete has a Reputation beyond repute "

anyone who has been here for more than 5 minutes has a Reputation beyond repute...
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Old Jul 24th 2007, 8:17 pm
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Big Pete
So in short if you are the family type then being honest dont emigrate unless you take them with you !!

Simple common sense surely

If you want to add me to your list of experts i wont mind just call me the Doctor of life , as i know it all
Sometimes people don't know just how close they are to their family until they've left them behind for an extended period of time. Haven't you ever heard "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? My situation is proof that it's true.

I really wouldn't call someone who has less experience of moving out of the country than other people here an "expert".
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Old Jul 24th 2007, 8:52 pm
  #72  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by katesbackagain
Sometimes people don't know just how close they are to their family until they've left them behind for an extended period of time. Haven't you ever heard "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? My situation is proof that it's true.

I really wouldn't call someone who has less experience of moving out of the country than other people here an "expert".
A Little story for you all .

25 years ago i used to live in a little town in the Midlands and i loved it , had loads of friends there and had some great memories of people and the place .

One day several years ago i had business meetings not far from there and as i had such good memories as like you say absence makes you remember the good things and subsequently the heart does get fonder . Well i finished the meeting and drove over !!

What a big dissapointment things were not the same It looked tired old decayed and being honest was glad to get away from it !! )
Probably the truth is it was the same except its me who changed maybe ? But all i know is now when i think back the memory is tainted and so it got it out the system and i firmly believe you make your own new friends and life where ever you go

So never let the heart rule what you know is right
And remember your memorys always hold the good bits ...tends to blank out the bad bits ..

Example !
In the Uk we have had the worst weather for a summer for ages , well sunday where i am in kent we had a belter of a hot day so was out down the local zoo . anyways stopped to have a drink and got talking to this couple who said what a good summer we are now having
i said hmmm where you live then ? they said up the road , i said well same weather i have had and its been crap rain and rain and rain they said yea but look at it now
So the last memory held was of the last 2 days and the last 8 weeks forgot by them i know they must be typical brits i guess nutty as heck
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Old Jul 24th 2007, 9:14 pm
  #73  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Big Pete
A Little story for you all .

25 years ago i used to live in a little town in the Midlands and i loved it , had loads of friends there and had some great memories of people and the place .

One day several years ago i had business meetings not far from there and as i had such good memories as like you say absence makes you remember the good things and subsequently the heart does get fonder . Well i finished the meeting and drove over !!

What a big dissapointment things were not the same It looked tired old decayed and being honest was glad to get away from it !! )
Probably the truth is it was the same except its me who changed maybe ? But all i know is now when i think back the memory is tainted and so it got it out the system and i firmly believe you make your own new friends and life where ever you go

So never let the heart rule what you know is right
And remember your memorys always hold the good bits ...tends to blank out the bad bits ..

Example !
In the Uk we have had the worst weather for a summer for ages , well sunday where i am in kent we had a belter of a hot day so was out down the local zoo . anyways stopped to have a drink and got talking to this couple who said what a good summer we are now having
i said hmmm where you live then ? they said up the road , i said well same weather i have had and its been crap rain and rain and rain they said yea but look at it now
So the last memory held was of the last 2 days and the last 8 weeks forgot by them i know they must be typical brits i guess nutty as heck
No offence Big Pete but we 'all' have selective memories.

It just takes experience of events to learn what is best for each individual. When you move i hope it works for you. If it does then great. If not then you may! have an empathy for some of the folks on here.

When do you think you will get to where you believe life will be best for you?
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Old Jul 24th 2007, 9:22 pm
  #74  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by tillergirl
No offence Big Pete but we 'all' have selective memories.

It just takes experience of events to learn what is best for each individual. When you move i hope it works for you. If it does then great. If not then you may! have an empathy for some of the folks on here.

When do you think you will get to where you believe life will be best for you?
The moment this house of mine in the Uk is sold i will be gone but its taking longer than expected ..
Have the Villa in Mallorca so just got to sell this place ,and the moment the money hits the bank i am on Easyjets fastest plane

I do have empathy on a lot of posts actually , and if i can help anyone i will ..
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Old Jul 24th 2007, 9:32 pm
  #75  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Big Pete
The moment this house of mine in the Uk is sold i will be gone but its taking longer than expected ..
Have the Villa in Mallorca so just got to sell this place ,and the moment the money hits the bank i am on Easyjets fastest plane

I do have empathy on a lot of posts actually , and if i can help anyone i will ..
have you lived in another country before?
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