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chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Old Sep 1st 2007, 9:21 am
  #136  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Well said Fleaflyfloflum except that it is you that is talking crap. Just look at what she has said and read it again, you might then understand that her statements are actually reasonable and actually unsentimental. Your analysis is not based on what has been said but on some sort of predudice I sense. Her remark about taking the important ones means simply to take the closest family members with you - this is commonplace. This is an expat forum not a Darfur refugee camp where choices don't abound. Her remarks about making new friends is quite reasonable in my view. Her attitude and mine may not suit you but I suspect that yours is a minority view.
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Old Sep 1st 2007, 9:46 am
  #137  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
No you cant always take the important ones with you!!! Wake up Badge. Not everyone lives the same life you do. Not everyone is inferior or has a gene fault coz they love and miss people in their life. In fact i find it quite cold and callous you take this stance. Its not a case of over dependance or relying on friends, its a case of loving them and missing them beause they are in your heart
Yes, of course you can make new friends, but you would still do that if you stayed in UK. Friends come along throughout life no matter where you live. Surely this doesnt mean you just drop old ones without missing them.

And as for being insular, i suggest you re read some of YOUR posts on this forum.
You've taken this the wrong way. Infact I said what you've just said.
Did I ever say that you couldn't appreciate what you left behind - I said we did as well and I certainly didn't say you should drop them. I was underlining that nuturing relationships was the most important thing. You can look backwards, but don't rely ''backwards'' - I would say. For us memories are key.

"Friends come along throughout life no matter where you live". Indeed.

I can't help that someone who can't establish friendships here is smarting.

As for insular - well - I can't say I've spent the entire of my life in one place like the insular people you point at. Far from it, and I think it's why I can make friends the way I do.

Just reread my post and it seems quite reasonable actually. It was supposed to create a bit of perspective - bang along a sort of centrist line amongst others that have been discussed thus far without being emotive or judgemental.


Last edited by BadgeIsBack; Sep 1st 2007 at 10:11 am.
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Old Sep 1st 2007, 10:03 am
  #138  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Dago
Well said Fleaflyfloflum except that it is you that is talking crap. Just look at what she has said and read it again, you might then understand that her statements are actually reasonable and actually unsentimental. Your analysis is not based on what has been said but on some sort of predudice I sense. Her remark about taking the important ones means simply to take the closest family members with you - this is commonplace. This is an expat forum not a Darfur refugee camp where choices don't abound. Her remarks about making new friends is quite reasonable in my view. Her attitude and mine may not suit you but I suspect that yours is a minority view.
The prejudice is probably that I like and have settled in Australia. I wish people could be happier that's all and you can be responsible for that.
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Old Sep 1st 2007, 11:05 am
  #139  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by Dago
Well said Fleaflyfloflum except that it is you that is talking crap. Just look at what she has said and read it again, you might then understand that her statements are actually reasonable and actually unsentimental. Your analysis is not based on what has been said but on some sort of predudice I sense. Her remark about taking the important ones means simply to take the closest family members with you - this is commonplace. This is an expat forum not a Darfur refugee camp where choices don't abound. Her remarks about making new friends is quite reasonable in my view. Her attitude and mine may not suit you but I suspect that yours is a minority view.

To be fair on 'flea her view is not necessarily a minority - it's just a view.

And this doesn't have to be a them vs them type of post and its not intended to be as many of these posts end up. To me its a discussion on the human condition.
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Old Sep 1st 2007, 11:15 am
  #140  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by BadgeIsBack
The prejudice is probably that I like and have settled in Australia. I wish people could be happier that's all and you can be responsible for that.
I see, so because i have a different view and do not agree with you i am somehow prejudiced? Very arrogant.
I liked and settled in Australia and had lived there far longer than you have Badge. And contrarary to yours and a few other mental dwarfs opinion on here, not liking or wanting to be in Australia does not make you a social misfit. I have left behind several good friends. Making assumptions that EVERYBODY who leaves Australia is because of some social inadequacy or lacking in their own personal make up is just plain ridiculous, but then i guess if you have nothing else to justify your arguement then you have nothing else to accuse these people of.

I am now back in England. I have my grandchildren to wake up to each day. Creating fond memories and enjoying the company of people i couldnt just take with me Badge. You forget that not everybody has a young family that they can drag around the world with them. Some of us are older and moved on from that stage. I am the happiest i have been in my whole life right now. In fact i wake up with a grin on my face.

You enjoy your Australia, i am happy for you but you are a very arrogant and ill informed man to suggest that if you like it and someone else doesnt then it is THEY who has a problem??? Truly, think about it.
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Old Sep 1st 2007, 8:01 pm
  #141  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by BadgeIsBack
Agree/disagree - It's simple people! You can't replace family, but bear in mind you can take the most important ones with you.
Not if they're over the age of 16 you can't Badge, which is why many people on here have such awful dilemmas - if only it were that simple, life would be a breeze
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Old Sep 5th 2007, 8:42 am
  #142  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Horses for courses.

I guess I'm chasing the dream for what I believe will make me happy. I hope so.

I feel I can post here, I'm yet to move out there so I can't speak for those who feel the way they do who are living abroad.

For me, and these are strong words, I hate my family; a bunch of selfish blagging no good self obsessed bunch of misfits (including my mother). I may even be like them, I so hope not. My partner tells me I am nothing like my mum, I hope she is right. I have had to work hard not to be like them, stayed clear of trouble, got an education and tried to build a life, though I'd say I'm effected by it. Most days I think about my family and the way I was brought up, not good memories really.

I'm a copper, last year my mum was nicked for assault and racially abusing someone and brought into my custody while I was on duty. Slightly embarrasing. Just one of many things that makes me not want to have any involvment with my family. I'm best off without them.

Friends come and go, there is the saying you can count your true friends on one hand, I go with that.

I have one friend that I have known since 1989, the rest have come and gone, and no doubt my move to Oz (2009, the wait is driving me mad) will bring new ones.
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Old Sep 7th 2007, 11:13 am
  #143  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

Originally Posted by russmcp
Horses for courses.

I guess I'm chasing the dream for what I believe will make me happy. I hope so.

I feel I can post here, I'm yet to move out there so I can't speak for those who feel the way they do who are living abroad.

For me, and these are strong words, I hate my family; a bunch of selfish blagging no good self obsessed bunch of misfits (including my mother). I may even be like them, I so hope not. My partner tells me I am nothing like my mum, I hope she is right. I have had to work hard not to be like them, stayed clear of trouble, got an education and tried to build a life, though I'd say I'm effected by it. Most days I think about my family and the way I was brought up, not good memories really.

I'm a copper, last year my mum was nicked for assault and racially abusing someone and brought into my custody while I was on duty. Slightly embarrasing. Just one of many things that makes me not want to have any involvment with my family. I'm best off without them.

Friends come and go, there is the saying you can count your true friends on one hand, I go with that.

I have one friend that I have known since 1989, the rest have come and gone, and no doubt my move to Oz (2009, the wait is driving me mad) will bring new ones.
Good for you for being driven to lead a successful and happy life following what was obviously not an enjoyable childhood. Can't image that being a police officer having a mother with a criminal record for violence. I don't care what anyone says, if your family are a bunch of troublesome wasters then hold your head up high and walk away. Your true family will be the one you create, and that includes dear friends that you make.

You go and chase your dream. That's what most of us do and go on to enjoy our chosen new country. Life is for living, so go enjoy it
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 6:18 pm
  #144  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

What I don't understand is that if people are so negative about the UK, why do they continue to not only read posts in this forum, but REPLY as well? When I first got to the US I never even gave the MBTUK forum a glance, but now I rarely browse the US forums, only really to see what jokes/stories people have to tell.

It's really starting to annoy me that if someone likes a country and another hates it, the one who hates it is seen as a weak individual that needs to be coddled and would shrivel and die if they're without the ones they love. So if you like the country, yay for you, but don't patronize someone for wanting to leave.

We all have very different lives and family situations. My own family is huge. I love them all, and if I could bring them here, I would, but that's not practical or even possible. So......I'm going back to them. It's not the only reason for my wanting to return, but it's a big one. I'm just glad that I actually have even one person to love in this world, as I don't want to be that person crying into my urine bottle at the retirement home (good analogy, Flea!) next to other bitter people who are so far up their own anus they can't understand why others would choose to return to the UK.
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Old Sep 11th 2007, 1:40 pm
  #145  
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Default Re: chasing the dream creates superficial happiness

I love both places..I read this part of the forum..because I always have it in the back of my mind to return to the UK..we never really came to the USA with plans to stay forever...but I think I'm way to much into my American life now to move back to be honest..

My daughter at 18 hated it here from day one....she went back to the UK three years later for a visit and found that her friends had moved on and that family were still a pain...and called us up to say she could not wait to get home...
I have no idea why people who are happy in their new country feel the need to pull the UK down...we have friends from Mexico Portugal China India Eastern Europe The Middle East...and none of them pull their place of birth down...
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