sjz

My Father-in-law has asked that someone shoot him before they put him in a care home in the UK. He’s got nothing to base this on however as he's not got any real experience of what its like in places like the states, oz or nz.

Anyone agree or disagree with his view or have any experiences they would care to share? I’m sure this one will come up over Christmas dinner this year…

dontheturner

In 2005, my then second Wife, of 35 years, had been in hospital, for two weeks, after suffering her, What--, about 10th stroke, and they moved her, into a side building, which was created for more care.After 6 weeks, I was told I had to find a care home for her, as she needed 24/7 care. I checked out about 3, but before I had decided, they moved her, and gave me the address. it was a disgrace. (when I got there, she was still in a wheelchair, with her back to the TV, and everyone else). I checked out each one, and moved her to the one of my own choice, and it was first class. the Council oversaw the payments, from her pensions, and most of the payment. (I had to pay, £47 a month shortfall out of my pensions). The choice of location, is up to you. She was there for approx 6 months, before she passed peacefully away.She was then 84. don

Mummy in the foothills

I think some people just don't want to end up in a Nursing home no matter where it is. I know Id like to live my life out in my own home with family, ideally. I'd also like to care for my own mother and not have her live in a nursing home if possible.
But if it's comparisons he wants, then I would prefer to end up in a UK nursing home than one here in the US.
I'm a nurse and have worked in nursing homes in both countries, here it's abysmal, the food, the smell, and the treatment and I was in a nice place working.
In UK there are bound to be some places I wouldn't go (or work) but on the whole I found the staff to be more caring and chatty with the residents, they would make tea at all hours of the day and night for them (and for the staff) and I actually recogised the food by look and smell, unlike the weird and stinky mush given the people here
Sorry to hear you will be having such a stressful conversation over the holiday dinner, maybe just let him have a moan and nod in the appropriate places.

sjz

Thanks guys, what you’ve said comes across as remarkably positive actually. I think the conversation over dinner will be much more light-hearted than my original post suggests on second reading.

Reading between the lines with the in-laws, I suspect they’re not so concerned with being in a care home at some eventual point but don’t want to be in a care home in the UK if their family are across the other side of the world. The argument being that they think care homes in the place we're living (curerntly Oz) must surely be so much better than UK ones.

I’ll show them your comments, who knows, they might even join BE…