Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Feb 4th 2006, 8:48 am
#16
Galaxy 1: Cadbury's 0
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,606
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Sorry if my comment re: house sizes was interpreted as larger houses can make you happier than small ones. Of course that is not what I meant. I have struck quite a chord, I hope for the 'right' reasons.
However if you have been living in a desirable cul-de-sac of soley 4 and 5 bedroom detached houses in good plots (pool possibly) and the lifestyle that enables (much better entertaining I can assure you!) funded from an average salary for example, it may come as a bit of a shock to find yourself in a run down 2/3 bedroom terraced house in a not very desirable area of the UK when you can hear your neighbours having s@x or their morning coughing fits! We all know this extreme difference is possible, daft as it sounds.
But yes, obviously live where you will be happier.
However if you have been living in a desirable cul-de-sac of soley 4 and 5 bedroom detached houses in good plots (pool possibly) and the lifestyle that enables (much better entertaining I can assure you!) funded from an average salary for example, it may come as a bit of a shock to find yourself in a run down 2/3 bedroom terraced house in a not very desirable area of the UK when you can hear your neighbours having s@x or their morning coughing fits! We all know this extreme difference is possible, daft as it sounds.
But yes, obviously live where you will be happier.
Feb 4th 2006, 9:18 am
#17
Desert spaces
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 309
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
We had a massive house in Sweden with 13 large rooms right by the beach. Here we have a small three bed detached house in a Hertfordshire town, but we have been granted work and educational opportunities that we would NEVER have gotten in Sweden. Material goods aren't everything, and while I do miss the space, I would rather have the quality of life we enjoy here. It's all about what sacrifices you are willing to make, and what you value in life.
Betty boot, have you tried moving further North? I had never been further than Leicester before I went up to Scotland a few weeks ago, and completely fell inlove with it. Thus, I am moving to Aberdeen on Monday! It's a bit sad that people overlook the North, because, while colder, it really isn't entirely without its charms.
-Becs
Betty boot, have you tried moving further North? I had never been further than Leicester before I went up to Scotland a few weeks ago, and completely fell inlove with it. Thus, I am moving to Aberdeen on Monday! It's a bit sad that people overlook the North, because, while colder, it really isn't entirely without its charms.
-Becs
Feb 4th 2006, 9:33 am
#18
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 10,375
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Having a big house in aus doesnt mean much neighbour wise, they usually have the same and end up right on top of you anyway. Then add barbie smoke most nights, lovely going to bed with the smell of your neighbours burnt chops in your bedroom. Pools and kids incredibly noisy, pool pumps not as bad but noisy, AC units big enough for those houses :scared: just run a truck under your bedroom window for effect. Most still dont have AC tho so they just torture you with hearing every sound (loo included :scared: ) by open windows. Dogs live outside and bark at everything. Patios are the worst, you often see streets of houses where the patios all look into each other and you hear every word.
I cant remember living anywhere in the UK where you were so constantly aware of your neighbours, mind you we never lived in a corrie terrace, that would be bad.
We have the 2 women neighbours from hell at the mo, R calls them the "bushpigs"
I cant remember living anywhere in the UK where you were so constantly aware of your neighbours, mind you we never lived in a corrie terrace, that would be bad.
We have the 2 women neighbours from hell at the mo, R calls them the "bushpigs"
Feb 4th 2006, 8:11 pm
#19
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Nappyland
Posts: 2,886
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Mr HiddenPaw here, I just happened to read your post while Mrs Paw was away. I can understand your frustration as we have been through the same. But having returned to the UK and now having a desire to return back to OZ I can give you some food for thought about the UK.
My interests in life changed once we had a baby, wild nights out were replaced by early nights and busy mornings, days out, and the need to keep a little'un busy.. preferably outside the house.
Your Husband is very lucky to have a job that allows him to get home in time to spend time with the kids. I recently had to look for a new job that replaced my early evenings with a 115 mile round trip on top of a full days work, consequently I don't always get to spend time with my child in the evening. Change for your husband may not necessarily be for the better.
The winter here is pretty bad compared to Adelaide in terms of what you can do with a small child. Minus temps and / or wet cold weather doesn't leave you with a great deal of choice for 6 months of the year. We haven't seen the sun for a whole week this week and that is no exaggeration, it has been grey and extremely cold where the sun hasn't even popped through the grey for a minute!
Days out here also pretty expensive, today we looked at going to Chester zoo as the weather didn't inspire us to do anything else. Price for 2 adults and 1 sub 2 year old - £29! It's £50 for a family of 4!! How can you afford that on one income?
We take advantage of the Natinal Trust sites but even to have a walk along a road through a park costs £4 just to park the car. If you want a coffee and a snack (you're not alowed to take your own food into the cafe (where they'll boil and scorch your latte for free) - and it's too cold to have a picnic)) you can say goodbye to £8.
I've seen all the debates on who has the best country and too be honest they both have their good and bad points. It all falls down to what you are looking for in life. Personally I hate sitting in and watching tv. I want to be somewhere warmer where I can play with my daughter and cycle in my spare time suits me. Now I'm not a fair weather cyclist but some days I can't get out until the afternoon or even at all because it's too icy! And this is from someone who's water bottle froze on him this week whilst out.
UK does have it's good points though and that is quite often its people. I find people in the UK do befriend you far easier than in Australia where people are far more approachable but don't have as much time after that. Also cheap flights to Europe are a bonus - but you can't do that every week. Holiday allowances seem to be better in the UK and business folk seem far less uptight. I found in OZ that in the IT sector people seemed to have a rod up their arse!
We left Oz because of family (with the new baby), it's probably what brings most people back. After the initial buzz, I found that now I have my own family I don't see my folks and brothers as much. My priority is my immidiate family and that's where I want to put the quality in. Buzz has worn off being home and what I'm left with is the desire to put more quality into doing things with my child and I really feel like it's been a let down this winter - that's just me - but I feel like I haven't been able to do as much outside as I wanted to. The long dark cold afternoons and evenings just kill any ideas you have.
I don't wish to put you off but I would certainly take into account that as winters are far harsher here you may find that you miss being able to do more all year round?
Anyway I've been instructed to tell you that my views are my own and not neccessarily the views of Mrs Paw. Although she agrees with me about the rods.
My interests in life changed once we had a baby, wild nights out were replaced by early nights and busy mornings, days out, and the need to keep a little'un busy.. preferably outside the house.
Your Husband is very lucky to have a job that allows him to get home in time to spend time with the kids. I recently had to look for a new job that replaced my early evenings with a 115 mile round trip on top of a full days work, consequently I don't always get to spend time with my child in the evening. Change for your husband may not necessarily be for the better.
The winter here is pretty bad compared to Adelaide in terms of what you can do with a small child. Minus temps and / or wet cold weather doesn't leave you with a great deal of choice for 6 months of the year. We haven't seen the sun for a whole week this week and that is no exaggeration, it has been grey and extremely cold where the sun hasn't even popped through the grey for a minute!
Days out here also pretty expensive, today we looked at going to Chester zoo as the weather didn't inspire us to do anything else. Price for 2 adults and 1 sub 2 year old - £29! It's £50 for a family of 4!! How can you afford that on one income?
We take advantage of the Natinal Trust sites but even to have a walk along a road through a park costs £4 just to park the car. If you want a coffee and a snack (you're not alowed to take your own food into the cafe (where they'll boil and scorch your latte for free) - and it's too cold to have a picnic)) you can say goodbye to £8.
I've seen all the debates on who has the best country and too be honest they both have their good and bad points. It all falls down to what you are looking for in life. Personally I hate sitting in and watching tv. I want to be somewhere warmer where I can play with my daughter and cycle in my spare time suits me. Now I'm not a fair weather cyclist but some days I can't get out until the afternoon or even at all because it's too icy! And this is from someone who's water bottle froze on him this week whilst out.
UK does have it's good points though and that is quite often its people. I find people in the UK do befriend you far easier than in Australia where people are far more approachable but don't have as much time after that. Also cheap flights to Europe are a bonus - but you can't do that every week. Holiday allowances seem to be better in the UK and business folk seem far less uptight. I found in OZ that in the IT sector people seemed to have a rod up their arse!
We left Oz because of family (with the new baby), it's probably what brings most people back. After the initial buzz, I found that now I have my own family I don't see my folks and brothers as much. My priority is my immidiate family and that's where I want to put the quality in. Buzz has worn off being home and what I'm left with is the desire to put more quality into doing things with my child and I really feel like it's been a let down this winter - that's just me - but I feel like I haven't been able to do as much outside as I wanted to. The long dark cold afternoons and evenings just kill any ideas you have.
I don't wish to put you off but I would certainly take into account that as winters are far harsher here you may find that you miss being able to do more all year round?
Anyway I've been instructed to tell you that my views are my own and not neccessarily the views of Mrs Paw. Although she agrees with me about the rods.
Feb 4th 2006, 8:46 pm
#20
Account Closed
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 115
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Once you start this immigration lark, unless you settle down and never look back, you open a pandora's box that is very hard to close again. You get a view of two mutually exclusive lives and spend your life chasing the perfect life rather than just living a good life Quote.
The above quote is sooo true and I wish that I had been more aware of this b4 we went to oz. We naively thought if we don't like it we'll come back!
How wrong we were. We did like it and UK too, now back in UK after homesickness and missing oz! Planning to go back sometime, but still unsure at times. Sometimes I wish we had never started it! 
The above quote is sooo true and I wish that I had been more aware of this b4 we went to oz. We naively thought if we don't like it we'll come back!
How wrong we were. We did like it and UK too, now back in UK after homesickness and missing oz! Planning to go back sometime, but still unsure at times. Sometimes I wish we had never started it!
Feb 4th 2006, 9:15 pm
#21
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Was Sydney, now Somerset
Posts: 400
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Originally Posted by HiddenPaw
Buzz has worn off being home and what I'm left with is the desire to put more quality into doing things with my child and I really feel like it's been a let down this winter - that's just me - but I feel like I haven't been able to do as much outside as I wanted to. The long dark cold afternoons and evenings just kill any ideas you have.
Hi Mr Hidden Paw, I just wanted to remind you that this is exactly how I feel about being in Oz right now - it is so hot and the sun is so extreme that I am also housebound with my little boy (we have no air con), so although it is not cold and wintery here, this feeling of not being able to do much outside applies here too for the months of summer.
I'm not having a go - feeling like you do now is my main concern about returning to the UK - will I want to come straight back again once the initial euphoria has gone.
Remember that the winter does not last forever and there are some nice days in the UK too!
Feb 4th 2006, 9:16 pm
#22
Banned
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Angle vale Sth Australia
Posts: 5,353
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Originally Posted by jad n rich
Having a big house in aus doesnt mean much neighbour wise, they usually have the same and end up right on top of you anyway. Then add barbie smoke most nights, lovely going to bed with the smell of your neighbours burnt chops in your bedroom. Pools and kids incredibly noisy, pool pumps not as bad but noisy, AC units big enough for those houses :scared: just run a truck under your bedroom window for effect. Most still dont have AC tho so they just torture you with hearing every sound (loo included :scared: ) by open windows. Dogs live outside and bark at everything. Patios are the worst, you often see streets of houses where the patios all look into each other and you hear every word.
I cant remember living anywhere in the UK where you were so constantly aware of your neighbours, mind you we never lived in a corrie terrace, that would be bad.
We have the 2 women neighbours from hell at the mo, R calls them the "bushpigs"
I cant remember living anywhere in the UK where you were so constantly aware of your neighbours, mind you we never lived in a corrie terrace, that would be bad.
We have the 2 women neighbours from hell at the mo, R calls them the "bushpigs"
???.................... 
mm
Feb 5th 2006, 11:20 am
#23
Just Joined
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 4
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Originally Posted by Ginge
I didn’t know this website existed until a few weeks ago, otherwise I may have joined a few years back! I have been reading all your comments, isn’t it a relief to know that other people are faced with the same dilemmas!
So heres our life story (sorry to bore you!)...
Ours is the usual, we live in Adelaide in Oz but miss family in the UK.. bummer. My husband is an aussie, but he has dual citizenship as do I, so that makes things easier I guess. We’ve been here 7 years, my husband was in the UK for a couple of years, shortly after we met we travelled South East Asia for 3months, then came here so that I could meet his family, we ended up staying to make a go of things so it was never that I actually made a decision to come here to live, you’d think after 7years we’d know what we wanted but alas no! We’ve tried so hard to make this our perfect life, got the house, dog, live 5mins from the beach and now a lovely 9mth old baby girl, we are so lucky but never quite settled, very frustrating! We are very average financially but its seems easy to be Mr & Mrs average and still have a nice quality of life here, sometimes we want things (i.e. a swimming pool!) probably to compensate for lack of loved ones close by. My husbands family are all here but they’re all older and hes not that close to them so we do feel quite alone in that respect. As for friends, we have a few but none that we see loads, I guess other people already have their own lives at this age (we’re in our 30’s) and of course their families and they do things together, this is when we feel left out!
We can’t seem to progress in our lives because we know we need to make a decision and stick to it about whether we are going to give the UK a go, we feel really anti-social too as we don’t have a lot to say to people at the moment as this is dominating our lives! We went back in November and had a great time with people and my husband enjoyed the company of my brothers, something he doesn’t have here. I feel mean that we are depriving my family of time with our baby (shes the first grandchild) and that I can’t share special moments with them, also the extra bit of support would be nice, even just for a babysitter one night and for the fact that I had to spend 2months in hospital prior to giving birth to this baby I’m concerned about when we have baby no. 2 that if the same were to happen again it would be really tricky for us! On the other hand we have a great lifestyle here and are well set-up for the future and its hard to foresee what would be best for us all and for our daughter. Just when we think we’ve come to a conclusion to leave we’ll have a day of lovely weather, be able to walk along the beachfront and wander into the back garden and look at what we’ve done to our house and we’ll think, aaargh, would it be a mistake to give this up! Also jobs are an issue, my husband has a decent job and rarely works late so he gets to come home and have a good bit of dad-time with our baby before bedtime, it’s a worry that if we leave he’ll have to start at the bottom of the ladder in England and if it doesn’t work over there and we come back here then hes back at the bottom here again!
So, do we stay or go – who knows, if only there was an easy way to decide. I am lucky that my husband is happy to give whatever a try, he is just getting fed up with the indecision, as am I and it is affecting us both, we have a strong relationship but we are getting more narky with each other about stupid things lately and are a bit like volcanoes waiting to erupt! My fears about leaving here are that we are giving up what we’ve worked hard to achieve and how we would cope living in a shoebox house after being so spoilt here and that if the UK doesn’t work out then my husband may always secretly be pissed off with me! My fears about staying here are missing out on quality family time, I worry about what would happen if I was to lose one of them, I think I’d forever feel pain and guilt for not having spent more time with them while I had the chance.
We are swaying towards the option of renting out our Oz home (I hate the thought of other people living in our house!) and going to the UK for a 1-2year trial period to give it a proper go, this would be a strain financially, especially the initial getting there and setting up stage, theres loads to consider, what do we take (even the finer points such as loads of photos etc), getting a car, a job, our baby, the dog, our stuff here as well as the fact that we’d like to have another baby in a years time…just throwing another spanner in the works to make it extra hard for ourselves! We’re looking into all that’s involved and were wondering if anyone else has had experience of doing it this way i.e. leaving most things in Oz but giving the UK a go for a year or two – we will have support from friends and family but not in a financial sense, unfortunately we’re all pretty skint at the end of the day and to make matters worse we’d be looking to move to Berkshire – not exactly the cheaper part of England! After weighing up costs so far its not looking that rosy, we desperately want to take the dog with us if we go but we didn’t realise it would be so expensive and my husband doesn’t think we can afford to, but I don’t want to leave him here, hes part of our family (the dog that is, not the husband, ha ha!)
Right, that’s enough waffle from me, I can type fairly fast and didn’t realise I’d written so much, sorry about that, I expect some people gave up reading after a while!
One other good thing about being in the UK would be the fact that I have people to laugh with about crappy stuff from the old days, like Jim’ll Fix It for instance, my husband still wants to see a bit of old footage of him in his magic chair with all his bling, smoking cigars and handing out dodgy medals to kids!
Cheers everyone!
So heres our life story (sorry to bore you!)...
Ours is the usual, we live in Adelaide in Oz but miss family in the UK.. bummer. My husband is an aussie, but he has dual citizenship as do I, so that makes things easier I guess. We’ve been here 7 years, my husband was in the UK for a couple of years, shortly after we met we travelled South East Asia for 3months, then came here so that I could meet his family, we ended up staying to make a go of things so it was never that I actually made a decision to come here to live, you’d think after 7years we’d know what we wanted but alas no! We’ve tried so hard to make this our perfect life, got the house, dog, live 5mins from the beach and now a lovely 9mth old baby girl, we are so lucky but never quite settled, very frustrating! We are very average financially but its seems easy to be Mr & Mrs average and still have a nice quality of life here, sometimes we want things (i.e. a swimming pool!) probably to compensate for lack of loved ones close by. My husbands family are all here but they’re all older and hes not that close to them so we do feel quite alone in that respect. As for friends, we have a few but none that we see loads, I guess other people already have their own lives at this age (we’re in our 30’s) and of course their families and they do things together, this is when we feel left out!
We can’t seem to progress in our lives because we know we need to make a decision and stick to it about whether we are going to give the UK a go, we feel really anti-social too as we don’t have a lot to say to people at the moment as this is dominating our lives! We went back in November and had a great time with people and my husband enjoyed the company of my brothers, something he doesn’t have here. I feel mean that we are depriving my family of time with our baby (shes the first grandchild) and that I can’t share special moments with them, also the extra bit of support would be nice, even just for a babysitter one night and for the fact that I had to spend 2months in hospital prior to giving birth to this baby I’m concerned about when we have baby no. 2 that if the same were to happen again it would be really tricky for us! On the other hand we have a great lifestyle here and are well set-up for the future and its hard to foresee what would be best for us all and for our daughter. Just when we think we’ve come to a conclusion to leave we’ll have a day of lovely weather, be able to walk along the beachfront and wander into the back garden and look at what we’ve done to our house and we’ll think, aaargh, would it be a mistake to give this up! Also jobs are an issue, my husband has a decent job and rarely works late so he gets to come home and have a good bit of dad-time with our baby before bedtime, it’s a worry that if we leave he’ll have to start at the bottom of the ladder in England and if it doesn’t work over there and we come back here then hes back at the bottom here again!
So, do we stay or go – who knows, if only there was an easy way to decide. I am lucky that my husband is happy to give whatever a try, he is just getting fed up with the indecision, as am I and it is affecting us both, we have a strong relationship but we are getting more narky with each other about stupid things lately and are a bit like volcanoes waiting to erupt! My fears about leaving here are that we are giving up what we’ve worked hard to achieve and how we would cope living in a shoebox house after being so spoilt here and that if the UK doesn’t work out then my husband may always secretly be pissed off with me! My fears about staying here are missing out on quality family time, I worry about what would happen if I was to lose one of them, I think I’d forever feel pain and guilt for not having spent more time with them while I had the chance.
We are swaying towards the option of renting out our Oz home (I hate the thought of other people living in our house!) and going to the UK for a 1-2year trial period to give it a proper go, this would be a strain financially, especially the initial getting there and setting up stage, theres loads to consider, what do we take (even the finer points such as loads of photos etc), getting a car, a job, our baby, the dog, our stuff here as well as the fact that we’d like to have another baby in a years time…just throwing another spanner in the works to make it extra hard for ourselves! We’re looking into all that’s involved and were wondering if anyone else has had experience of doing it this way i.e. leaving most things in Oz but giving the UK a go for a year or two – we will have support from friends and family but not in a financial sense, unfortunately we’re all pretty skint at the end of the day and to make matters worse we’d be looking to move to Berkshire – not exactly the cheaper part of England! After weighing up costs so far its not looking that rosy, we desperately want to take the dog with us if we go but we didn’t realise it would be so expensive and my husband doesn’t think we can afford to, but I don’t want to leave him here, hes part of our family (the dog that is, not the husband, ha ha!)
Right, that’s enough waffle from me, I can type fairly fast and didn’t realise I’d written so much, sorry about that, I expect some people gave up reading after a while!
One other good thing about being in the UK would be the fact that I have people to laugh with about crappy stuff from the old days, like Jim’ll Fix It for instance, my husband still wants to see a bit of old footage of him in his magic chair with all his bling, smoking cigars and handing out dodgy medals to kids!
Cheers everyone!
It would seem you are in a good stage of life to move countries - you would benefit having support for your baby. If you both want to do it then it doesn't sound like there's much holding you back. Good luck.
Feb 5th 2006, 4:03 pm
#24
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Baltimore, USA
Posts: 526
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Originally Posted by Jim n Nic
Totally agree with you Eurotramp -
having the choice of a smaller house and being happy or a large house and being unhappy, I know what I would choose.
having the choice of a smaller house and being happy or a large house and being unhappy, I know what I would choose.
Feb 5th 2006, 6:53 pm
#25
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Nappyland
Posts: 2,886
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Originally Posted by Mummy
Hi Mr Hidden Paw, I just wanted to remind you that this is exactly how I feel about being in Oz right now - it is so hot and the sun is so extreme that I am also housebound with my little boy (we have no air con), so although it is not cold and wintery here, this feeling of not being able to do much outside applies here too for the months of summer.
I'm not having a go - feeling like you do now is my main concern about returning to the UK - will I want to come straight back again once the initial euphoria has gone.
Remember that the winter does not last forever and there are some nice days in the UK too!
I'm not having a go - feeling like you do now is my main concern about returning to the UK - will I want to come straight back again once the initial euphoria has gone.
Remember that the winter does not last forever and there are some nice days in the UK too!
Climate is by no means the sole factor for wanting to go back, but it is quite high on my agenda. Other things that brought me home took on new insignificance once I got home. I.e. some things weren't as important to me as I had thought they were, or some things weren't the same as I remembered them to be.
You're right, winter doesn't last forever, although it feels like it has been endless at the moment!
Feb 7th 2006, 1:41 pm
#26
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Mid West >> UK
Posts: 1,239
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Originally Posted by HiddenPaw
Hi Mummy (!!), Mr Paw here again. I totally agree with what you say, I have been through the days of not being able to go out because of the high temps (high 30s / 40s) but we were in Melbourne so there weren't that many of them where we felt unable to go out at some point in the day!! We did do a lot more outdoor stuff year-round, like using barbecue facilities at parks and rivers, walks, cycling, camping, whereas here, it is painful going out for a walk in 2 degrees with a toddler who walks at 1/4 mile an hour! I just feel like we could make more use of the day in a warmer climate - it was never a problem to get up and be out on the bike at 6am, home by 10 then the rest of the day with the family. Here I feel like I have a much smaller window of opportunity in terms of outdoor time.
Climate is by no means the sole factor for wanting to go back, but it is quite high on my agenda. Other things that brought me home took on new insignificance once I got home. I.e. some things weren't as important to me as I had thought they were, or some things weren't the same as I remembered them to be.
You're right, winter doesn't last forever, although it feels like it has been endless at the moment!
Climate is by no means the sole factor for wanting to go back, but it is quite high on my agenda. Other things that brought me home took on new insignificance once I got home. I.e. some things weren't as important to me as I had thought they were, or some things weren't the same as I remembered them to be.
You're right, winter doesn't last forever, although it feels like it has been endless at the moment!
Feb 7th 2006, 3:27 pm
#27
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Nappyland
Posts: 2,886
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Originally Posted by ladylisa
I dont know what part of the Uk you live but I was recently in the UK on the South coast and it was sunshine every day. I had to buy a pair of sunglasses in the end as driving was uncomfortable without them. Maybe you should move down south
. Anyway, Mr Paw has an interview in Reading tomor so moving further south may just happen yet (we are in the north west), although not sure it would keep him happy! In spite of his complaints about the cold, he is today considering a job proposal in Zurich (which I must admit has thrown a complete spanner in the works re. returning to Oz). Anyone want an indecisive husband?
Feb 7th 2006, 9:49 pm
#28
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 133
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Great Post from Mr HP...there's no doubt that the lifestyle
Oz offers makes it a fantastic place to bring up children.
On the other hand, if you don't form the same friendships here as you do at home, will you end up in a few years time with children who want to live in OZ and unhappy parents who are starting to get on
with their own lives, and want to return to the UK, whilst
the kids want to stay.
Just a thought but it sounds like you could be off to Zurich
anyway. Good luck with that one..the UK will seem positively toasty in winter after that, so all your problems could be solved lol
Oz offers makes it a fantastic place to bring up children.
On the other hand, if you don't form the same friendships here as you do at home, will you end up in a few years time with children who want to live in OZ and unhappy parents who are starting to get on
with their own lives, and want to return to the UK, whilst
the kids want to stay.
Just a thought but it sounds like you could be off to Zurich
anyway. Good luck with that one..the UK will seem positively toasty in winter after that, so all your problems could be solved lol
Feb 8th 2006, 5:05 am
#29
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 629
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Originally Posted by HiddenPaw
LadyLisa, I have tried to tell Mr Paw that there is more to life than sun but he managed to prove that without sun there would be no life on earth . Anyway, Mr Paw has an interview in Reading tomor so moving further south may just happen yet (we are in the north west), although not sure it would keep him happy! In spite of his complaints about the cold, he is today considering a job proposal in Zurich (which I must admit has thrown a complete spanner in the works re. returning to Oz). Anyone want an indecisive husband?
. Anyway, Mr Paw has an interview in Reading tomor so moving further south may just happen yet (we are in the north west), although not sure it would keep him happy! In spite of his complaints about the cold, he is today considering a job proposal in Zurich (which I must admit has thrown a complete spanner in the works re. returning to Oz). Anyone want an indecisive husband?
Feb 12th 2006, 6:44 am
#30
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Lancashire - Vic, Oz - hopefully Yorkshire or Devon
Posts: 167
Re: Can't decide - UK or Oz!! may return to UK for a 1-2yr trial - help!
Originally Posted by Ginge
I didn’t know this website existed until a few weeks ago, otherwise I may have joined a few years back! I have been reading all your comments, isn’t it a relief to know that other people are faced with the same dilemmas!
So heres our life story (sorry to bore you!)...
Ours is the usual, we live in Adelaide in Oz but miss family in the UK.. bummer. My husband is an aussie, but he has dual citizenship as do I, so that makes things easier I guess. We’ve been here 7 years, my husband was in the UK for a couple of years, shortly after we met we travelled South East Asia for 3months, then came here so that I could meet his family, we ended up staying to make a go of things so it was never that I actually made a decision to come here to live, you’d think after 7years we’d know what we wanted but alas no! We’ve tried so hard to make this our perfect life, got the house, dog, live 5mins from the beach and now a lovely 9mth old baby girl, we are so lucky but never quite settled, very frustrating! We are very average financially but its seems easy to be Mr & Mrs average and still have a nice quality of life here, sometimes we want things (i.e. a swimming pool!) probably to compensate for lack of loved ones close by. My husbands family are all here but they’re all older and hes not that close to them so we do feel quite alone in that respect. As for friends, we have a few but none that we see loads, I guess other people already have their own lives at this age (we’re in our 30’s) and of course their families and they do things together, this is when we feel left out!
We can’t seem to progress in our lives because we know we need to make a decision and stick to it about whether we are going to give the UK a go, we feel really anti-social too as we don’t have a lot to say to people at the moment as this is dominating our lives! We went back in November and had a great time with people and my husband enjoyed the company of my brothers, something he doesn’t have here. I feel mean that we are depriving my family of time with our baby (shes the first grandchild) and that I can’t share special moments with them, also the extra bit of support would be nice, even just for a babysitter one night and for the fact that I had to spend 2months in hospital prior to giving birth to this baby I’m concerned about when we have baby no. 2 that if the same were to happen again it would be really tricky for us! On the other hand we have a great lifestyle here and are well set-up for the future and its hard to foresee what would be best for us all and for our daughter. Just when we think we’ve come to a conclusion to leave we’ll have a day of lovely weather, be able to walk along the beachfront and wander into the back garden and look at what we’ve done to our house and we’ll think, aaargh, would it be a mistake to give this up! Also jobs are an issue, my husband has a decent job and rarely works late so he gets to come home and have a good bit of dad-time with our baby before bedtime, it’s a worry that if we leave he’ll have to start at the bottom of the ladder in England and if it doesn’t work over there and we come back here then hes back at the bottom here again!
So, do we stay or go – who knows, if only there was an easy way to decide. I am lucky that my husband is happy to give whatever a try, he is just getting fed up with the indecision, as am I and it is affecting us both, we have a strong relationship but we are getting more narky with each other about stupid things lately and are a bit like volcanoes waiting to erupt! My fears about leaving here are that we are giving up what we’ve worked hard to achieve and how we would cope living in a shoebox house after being so spoilt here and that if the UK doesn’t work out then my husband may always secretly be pissed off with me! My fears about staying here are missing out on quality family time, I worry about what would happen if I was to lose one of them, I think I’d forever feel pain and guilt for not having spent more time with them while I had the chance.
We are swaying towards the option of renting out our Oz home (I hate the thought of other people living in our house!) and going to the UK for a 1-2year trial period to give it a proper go, this would be a strain financially, especially the initial getting there and setting up stage, theres loads to consider, what do we take (even the finer points such as loads of photos etc), getting a car, a job, our baby, the dog, our stuff here as well as the fact that we’d like to have another baby in a years time…just throwing another spanner in the works to make it extra hard for ourselves! We’re looking into all that’s involved and were wondering if anyone else has had experience of doing it this way i.e. leaving most things in Oz but giving the UK a go for a year or two – we will have support from friends and family but not in a financial sense, unfortunately we’re all pretty skint at the end of the day and to make matters worse we’d be looking to move to Berkshire – not exactly the cheaper part of England! After weighing up costs so far its not looking that rosy, we desperately want to take the dog with us if we go but we didn’t realise it would be so expensive and my husband doesn’t think we can afford to, but I don’t want to leave him here, hes part of our family (the dog that is, not the husband, ha ha!)
Right, that’s enough waffle from me, I can type fairly fast and didn’t realise I’d written so much, sorry about that, I expect some people gave up reading after a while!
One other good thing about being in the UK would be the fact that I have people to laugh with about crappy stuff from the old days, like Jim’ll Fix It for instance, my husband still wants to see a bit of old footage of him in his magic chair with all his bling, smoking cigars and handing out dodgy medals to kids!
Cheers everyone!
So heres our life story (sorry to bore you!)...
Ours is the usual, we live in Adelaide in Oz but miss family in the UK.. bummer. My husband is an aussie, but he has dual citizenship as do I, so that makes things easier I guess. We’ve been here 7 years, my husband was in the UK for a couple of years, shortly after we met we travelled South East Asia for 3months, then came here so that I could meet his family, we ended up staying to make a go of things so it was never that I actually made a decision to come here to live, you’d think after 7years we’d know what we wanted but alas no! We’ve tried so hard to make this our perfect life, got the house, dog, live 5mins from the beach and now a lovely 9mth old baby girl, we are so lucky but never quite settled, very frustrating! We are very average financially but its seems easy to be Mr & Mrs average and still have a nice quality of life here, sometimes we want things (i.e. a swimming pool!) probably to compensate for lack of loved ones close by. My husbands family are all here but they’re all older and hes not that close to them so we do feel quite alone in that respect. As for friends, we have a few but none that we see loads, I guess other people already have their own lives at this age (we’re in our 30’s) and of course their families and they do things together, this is when we feel left out!
We can’t seem to progress in our lives because we know we need to make a decision and stick to it about whether we are going to give the UK a go, we feel really anti-social too as we don’t have a lot to say to people at the moment as this is dominating our lives! We went back in November and had a great time with people and my husband enjoyed the company of my brothers, something he doesn’t have here. I feel mean that we are depriving my family of time with our baby (shes the first grandchild) and that I can’t share special moments with them, also the extra bit of support would be nice, even just for a babysitter one night and for the fact that I had to spend 2months in hospital prior to giving birth to this baby I’m concerned about when we have baby no. 2 that if the same were to happen again it would be really tricky for us! On the other hand we have a great lifestyle here and are well set-up for the future and its hard to foresee what would be best for us all and for our daughter. Just when we think we’ve come to a conclusion to leave we’ll have a day of lovely weather, be able to walk along the beachfront and wander into the back garden and look at what we’ve done to our house and we’ll think, aaargh, would it be a mistake to give this up! Also jobs are an issue, my husband has a decent job and rarely works late so he gets to come home and have a good bit of dad-time with our baby before bedtime, it’s a worry that if we leave he’ll have to start at the bottom of the ladder in England and if it doesn’t work over there and we come back here then hes back at the bottom here again!
So, do we stay or go – who knows, if only there was an easy way to decide. I am lucky that my husband is happy to give whatever a try, he is just getting fed up with the indecision, as am I and it is affecting us both, we have a strong relationship but we are getting more narky with each other about stupid things lately and are a bit like volcanoes waiting to erupt! My fears about leaving here are that we are giving up what we’ve worked hard to achieve and how we would cope living in a shoebox house after being so spoilt here and that if the UK doesn’t work out then my husband may always secretly be pissed off with me! My fears about staying here are missing out on quality family time, I worry about what would happen if I was to lose one of them, I think I’d forever feel pain and guilt for not having spent more time with them while I had the chance.
We are swaying towards the option of renting out our Oz home (I hate the thought of other people living in our house!) and going to the UK for a 1-2year trial period to give it a proper go, this would be a strain financially, especially the initial getting there and setting up stage, theres loads to consider, what do we take (even the finer points such as loads of photos etc), getting a car, a job, our baby, the dog, our stuff here as well as the fact that we’d like to have another baby in a years time…just throwing another spanner in the works to make it extra hard for ourselves! We’re looking into all that’s involved and were wondering if anyone else has had experience of doing it this way i.e. leaving most things in Oz but giving the UK a go for a year or two – we will have support from friends and family but not in a financial sense, unfortunately we’re all pretty skint at the end of the day and to make matters worse we’d be looking to move to Berkshire – not exactly the cheaper part of England! After weighing up costs so far its not looking that rosy, we desperately want to take the dog with us if we go but we didn’t realise it would be so expensive and my husband doesn’t think we can afford to, but I don’t want to leave him here, hes part of our family (the dog that is, not the husband, ha ha!)
Right, that’s enough waffle from me, I can type fairly fast and didn’t realise I’d written so much, sorry about that, I expect some people gave up reading after a while!
One other good thing about being in the UK would be the fact that I have people to laugh with about crappy stuff from the old days, like Jim’ll Fix It for instance, my husband still wants to see a bit of old footage of him in his magic chair with all his bling, smoking cigars and handing out dodgy medals to kids!
Cheers everyone!
Hi Ginge,
Just wanted to say that your lives seem to be mirror-images of ours!
We have been here for 4 1/2 years and although we seem okay here, we are not happy. We have been through the indecision - waking up on Monday feeling positive that going back to the UK is the right thing and by Tuesday looking up at the sun & blue sky and thinking "maybe not". It's awful and it has definitely made myself & my hubby narky and impatient with each other. Luckily we too are very strong together, but this kind of indecision tends to go on for months, even years and it takes it's toll.
Our solution was to take a trip back to the UK - first one since we left the UK in Aug 2001. We came to Oz after an out of the blue job offer. We didn't want to regret not trying Oz, so we took the plunge, but it was never a decision that we had planned for our lives - like yourself. The job offer came in June and we were in Oz 2 months later!!
Anyway, during our trip back in December 2005, we felt so at home in the UK - even before we had caught up with friends or family, we just felt at home immediately. We had a great time and it just helped us to make the decision to go back. Of course we can't be 100% sure that we are doing the right thing and as we sold our home 4 yrs ago, we are horrified at the cost of houses, but we think that as much as the lifestyle here CAN be fantastic, it doesn't make us happy. We have also been living 5 minutes from the beach for the last 18 months, bought the dog, etc. and we are also still not settled. As you said all the indecision and tears makes you feel anti-social, which compounds the problem even more as you don't feel like being around the few people that you know.
We are booking our one-way flights back to the UK this week - myself & 12 year old son will leave in August & my hubby will follow in October as we don't both want to land back in the UK at the same time with no jobs. We are also taking our dog back too, which will cost us $4260 using Jet Pets. We can't really afford to take him back, but we honestly couldn't leave him behind.
I hope you can work out what's right for you - it's taken us almost 5 years to make the decision and we think we will be far happier back home in the UK. I also have to say that our trip back in December had some of the most beautiful sunny days - we had to wear our sunnies for at least 1 week out of the 3 1/2 that we were there and we only had about 5 or 6 wet days out of 24. We found the UK to be far better than we had feared for so long!
All the best!
Basil Brush
