Call Centres

Old Jan 26th 2008, 3:21 pm
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Default Call Centres

These gave me a laugh all supposedly true.




THE LAST ONE IS AN ABSOLUTE CLASSIC!!

Actual call centre conversations !!!!!


Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.


Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.



RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'



Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'


----------------------------------------------------------------------


Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.


----------------------------------------------------------------------


Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.


----------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'



----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.


---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest thing in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
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Old Jan 26th 2008, 4:09 pm
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Default Re: Call Centres

God!!! how frustrating for the customer service....are people really that thick
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Old Jan 26th 2008, 4:46 pm
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Default Re: Call Centres

Originally Posted by Nu-Shooz
God!!! how frustrating for the customer service....are people really that thick

Apparently so

And talking of thick. I had to dig myself out of an embarrassing hole on Thursday. I am the only female working in this new business venture we are starting up. It is an environmentally friendly alternative to passenger transport using a fleet of Toyota Prius hybrid cars. We all went down to the showroom to pick up the cars. Because I had to sign a load of paperwork on behalf of the company, thankfully only two other male staff members were left in the car park. I raced down to my vehicle, very excited at the prospect of driving one of these strange beasts for the first time. When i got in, I realised there was no key on the fob and NO keyhole to put it in!!!!!! Do you think I could fathom it out? NOPE!
I would rather cut off my right arm than let the 2 blokes waiting find out I was having a dumb blonde moment, so I jumped out sayiing, "you guys go ahead I need to use the toilet"
When I got back in the showroom there were NO women about so I hid in the toilet for a few minutes and waited till i heard the secretaries voice outside. I scurried up whispering in her ear that I didnt know how to start the car. She burst out laughing saying I was the 3rd woman that week who had come ask her for fear of the blokes laughing (well at least i felt better knowing i wasnt the only one!) Turns out it is keyless and you just put this black plastic fob in a slot on the dashboard
My reputation was saved........ for now
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Old Jan 26th 2008, 9:05 pm
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Default Re: Call Centres

Loved those Flea!! But, I'm a little confused about two of them...can you please help??

1) The RAC thing......am I confused (probably) or are we no longer living in Europe?

2) Can someone explain the Jack one to me please as I am having a very blonde moment and I don't get it!

Oh, and as for the keyless car thingo.....must've been designed by a smart-arse man just to see how many women he could confuse, but they just don't know us well enough do they eh? We know we'll never admit to being dumb.......... if we don't have to that is.............ermmm please see above!!
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Old Jan 27th 2008, 8:54 am
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Default Re: Call Centres

I work in call centre as a manager, and have no doubt - there are plenty of people out there like this. As I am the manager I'm the poor bugger the really crazy ones ask to speak to. I used to work for BT and I had an hour conversation with a woman about the fact that the police and the government were tapping her phone, as they had stolen all her jewlery. A bit of a shame, as obviously needed help. But just IMAGINE having that conversation.
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Old Jan 27th 2008, 9:08 am
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Default Re: Call Centres

Originally Posted by TraceyW
Loved those Flea!! But, I'm a little confused about two of them...can you please help??

1) The RAC thing......am I confused (probably) or are we no longer living in Europe?

2) Can someone explain the Jack one to me please as I am having a very blonde moment and I don't get it!

Oh, and as for the keyless car thingo.....must've been designed by a smart-arse man just to see how many women he could confuse, but they just don't know us well enough do they eh? We know we'll never admit to being dumb.......... if we don't have to that is.............ermmm please see above!!

A telephone jack is the old name used for where you plug the cord into the wall

Thankfully I am only dumb part time... usually hormone related
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Old Jan 27th 2008, 9:11 am
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Default Re: Call Centres

Originally Posted by scotlandtooz
I work in call centre as a manager, and have no doubt - there are plenty of people out there like this. As I am the manager I'm the poor bugger the really crazy ones ask to speak to. I used to work for BT and I had an hour conversation with a woman about the fact that the police and the government were tapping her phone, as they had stolen all her jewlery. A bit of a shame, as obviously needed help. But just IMAGINE having that conversation.
Tell me about it!
I used to work for a breakdown recovery company years ago. I had a woman ring up and said she could not start the car and when i asked for the car number plate she paused for ages then said she couldnt find it!!!!!!
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Old Jan 27th 2008, 12:13 pm
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Default Re: Call Centres

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
A telephone jack is the old name used for where you plug the cord into the wall

Aaahhh..that's better, I get it now!
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Old Jan 27th 2008, 12:22 pm
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Default Re: Call Centres

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
THE LAST ONE IS AN ABSOLUTE CLASSIC!!

Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
I spent over 9 years working for an IT support department and lost count of the number of times colleagues would suggest to one another that they ask the customer if they still have the box! One of the funniest trumours going.

Mr Jojosan
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Old Jan 27th 2008, 2:29 pm
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Default Re: Call Centres

Originally Posted by jojosan
I spent over 9 years working for an IT support department and lost count of the number of times colleagues would suggest to one another that they ask the customer if they still have the box! One of the funniest trumours going.

Mr Jojosan
Yeah I suspected most were urban myths but still made me laugh
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Old Jan 27th 2008, 4:09 pm
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Default Re: Call Centres

I used to work in a debt collection dept and one day a collegue made a call that we could all hear that started like this;

Her; "Hello, are you Inter-Leather?"

Well, we all absolutely fell about laughing and she had to put the phone down!!
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Old Jan 28th 2008, 5:00 am
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Default Re: Call Centres

Originally Posted by TraceyW
I used to work in a debt collection dept and one day a collegue made a call that we could all hear that started like this;

Her; "Hello, are you Inter-Leather?"

Well, we all absolutely fell about laughing and she had to put the phone down!!

I think I must be tired, took me a few reads to get that one. Poor girl must have died of embarrassment!
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