lucy71

Hello

We're back home after 3 years in oz and our first week has been horrendous beyond belief!

Anyone else out there had a similar experience?

My 18 month old son caught a gastro bug on the flight over and after prolonged bouts of vomiting ended up in hospital with severe dehydration for 3 days. He's out now but still very weak and poorly. We haven't stepped out of the house since arriving (well apart from going to the hospital), the weather is horrible (wet, cold and windy) and I'm starting to miss my friends and life back in oz already!

It's been great to see family (pretty intense at times as they just want to be round here all the time, a bit full on if you know what I mean?) and it doesn't feel as if we've had a minute to ourselves to get our bearings since we arrived. There have been the usual family dramas going on, sister going off in a hissy fit about something or other, people don't change!

I've longed to come home for such a long time but the last week has been so awful, I'm starting to regret we ever moved from our beachside pad in the first place!

Sorting through our stuff to get it all ready for the packers was extremely stressful before we left.I wouldn't recommend Wridgeways to anyone, they made a real dog's a**e of the packing ie: putting two leather jackets in one big box isn't what I'd call packing! We could have done it quicker ourselves with seven seas. My O/H had major teeth surgery the day before the packers arrived and with a face like the elephant man had to deweed our courtyard and clean the bathroom in 40 degree heat!

We had stuff all over our apartment for days in the lead up to them coming to pack it all up which is stressful when you have a little toddler dashing around the place. When the guy from wridgeways turned up with a budget rental van, I knew this didn't bode well! Plus on top of that we were meant to have a week of chilling out on the great ocean road -apollo bay- but it was 40 degrees for days and our townhouse had no a/c and heated up like an oven!

Bloody Nora - You couldn't make it up if you tried!

We're lucky to be able to stay at my dad's place in Yorkshire rent free until we sort ourselves out, and even though I'm a Northener I have to say it's a bit grim up north! (no offence to any northerners but it's looking pretty grim right now sitting in my dad's office overlooking Silsden).

I'm sure things will get better once my LO is up and about! Fingers crossed!

Charlie Paynter

It probably looks even grimmer having come from down-under! Whatever you do, give yourself time to get settled in and remain positive, otherwise you will NEVER settle.

We had the same problem when we returned 7 years ago, and I found myself in deep Leicester thinking "what the f*** have we done", and I actually wanted to give my old boss a ring to say I am returning! But after a few months throwing myself at work and the OH busy on issues like finding a pad, schools for the kids etc, and then making friends (we originally came from the south and knew no one in the area), we have made a success here. Life is what you make it.

Just remember, think positive and look forward, not back

All the best in grim land!!!

LouiseD

It all sounds pretty normal to me - such a big move is always stressful no matter how well you plan, things will always be different from how you imagine them to be.

It's called life and it never runs smoothly

When we arrived back in the UK, I was so elated to be home but on the practical side, there was so much to organise that I thought we'd never get straight - and living in box city with a family certainly isn't easy. But you do get through it. You just have to be patient and take one day at a time and you get there.

Try to get out in that beautiful Yorkshire countryside to cheer yourself up.

Good luck

Kath & Graham

Dont get down by it all it will get better!!

We came back in november and stayed with my elderley father (who has been seriously ill) in a two bed and there was 4 of us!!! Yes it has been a bloody nightmare at times, hospital appointments for him, christmas was a bit of a let down, I have been running round like a blue arsed fly, kids did get bad colds when we came back but I think it was the chang eof weather.

As far as being grim around, yep still some grotty places around, but we made sufre we moved to a nice area, streched ourselves with the mortgage but Im bloody glad we did, we have been in our own house for a few weeks now, but Im still up and down to my Dads and kids running round all the time.

Have had occasionals thoughts about Perth, but as you say i miss the friends I made there actually more than I thought I would.

It takes time, and give it that, we made sure we have had a bit of quality time to ourselves (me and OH) sis has had kids for us and will again next weekend, and a few girlie nights out has helped.

Remember coming back is as bad as going, you have to start all over again it isnt easier cos you think you know it all, but in fact you were away the same amount of time as us and things really do change.

Try get family to babysit and have a night out with hubbie, it does help..

Everyone I know that has come home has said once you get into your own place its better, and it certainly is!!!

Good luck and try not to get overcome by it all, give it time.

Weather is warming up now and nights are lighter - spring/summer is coming.

Good luck.

Kath

bugman

agreed. when i first got back to the UK from NZ I felt like i was having some type of nervous breakdown (just how could i do something so stupid!).

it was about this time of year, luckily I knew i had to do what i came back to the Uk for, to get out to the countryside, I took daily hikes with my dog (and he way prefered the Uk to nz funnily enough-he just seemed more engaged on trips out, more mammailian smells perhaps and seemed to like teh cooler weather-he would get sunburn all the time in NZ)) and took in all the new spring growth, the fact that i didnt get frazzled in 5 minutes was greatand of course the hourly stop offs in a little pub or two, it cannot be beat, i now live near chicago but i still miss those hills!! the time between NZ and the USA was enjoyed, my 'nervous breakdown' vanished and by the summer i was indulging in rural england on a regular basis, its a case of getting away from the chewing gum strewn pavements, turning off the TV, packing some sandwiches and getting some cool, fresh country air!!

lucy71

Hi there

Glad to hear it's not just me who has felt like this. Don't get me wrong, of course I'm glad to be home, but at the moment everything feels very overwhelming, so much to sort out and living in someone else's house just doesn't make you feel at home, no matter if it is your family!

I miss my aussie girlfriends a lot, I cried buckets when I left because we'd gone through so much together (mothers group) and the thought that I might not EVER see them again made it much worse. Of course I know I can start over here, make new friends but it will take time naturally.

I guess I wasn't expecting to feel this kind of anticlimax feeling, after looking forward to coming home so much, it kind of feels as if I'm thinking now well what the hell do we do next?!

Thanks for all the replies, it really does make me feel better to hear that I'm not going slightly bonkers or being contrary (ie: the grass is always greener on the other side!).

Once the little one is better my OH and I will try and get out for the evening to the movies or for dinner, feels like we've been in some kind of bubble since our boy got sick.

Onwards and Upwards!

Dave_Was

I think that it's totally natural to feel like this when moving back home, add to the fact the difficulties you've had and you'd be strange not to feel stressed out.

I think that when you've been away and come back everyone rushes round to see you. This is only natural, but that will slow down and people will get into their own routines again, as will you.

That anticlimatic feeling I can really relate too. It's one of those where you almost get used to being the center of attention whenever talking to those in the UK, as you are supposed to be the one with all the news being abroad. When you come back you're almost back into the system and the time away seems a strange memory.

I think on the site they call it 'reverse culture shock', and it does happen.

Think of it this way, there are many that are waiting to make the move and haven't for one reason or another, you've managed to do it and that's a great start and as you rightly say, now onwards and upwards.

Good luck.

quoll

{{{hugs}}} to you! You have just experienced one of the biggest stressors that life can throw at you (moving to another country) and add to that another of lifes biggie stresses (sick child) and what have you got but a huge stresspot!!!! You have survived and, from here, the only way is UP! Spring is going to be just around the corner for you - bring on the longer days, the beautiful hedgerows and getting yourself settled in a place that is your own and you will look back on all this as being a bad dream!!!

Hang in there!

Nu-Shooz

Back 1 week...you have to give it more time..just like we have to give ourselves years to settle in OZ.
Suppose the weather doesn't help being cold, but remember the 40c temps in OZ where you can't do anything or go out cause it's too hot.

Things will get better, all the best.x

Cheetah7

Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to adapt to the huge changes you have just been through.

Illness and being in hospital is traumatic enough in ordinary everyday living let alone when you are emigrating.

Let yourself get over the jetlag, take one day at a time and concentrate on the future.

I feel so sorry for you with everything you have been through, its no wonder you are not feeling brilliant.

See what happens, things have a funny way of turning out well if we give it chance.

Hope your baby and OH are better soon.

kez81

When i was back in the uk over xmas the first week i was back i was honestly glad i moved to oz then when the jetlag started to wear off and i started to get into the swing of things i loved it!!! by the end of the holiday i knew it was where i want to be it felt strange feeling like that at first.

Now i long for my old life even more i just love living in the uk warts and all!

Marmalade

That's a very good point about the jetlag. It usually takes me at least a week to feel half normal. So, jetlag, sick kids etc,. who wouldn't be having an awful time. Please give it more time. I think if you were to post on here in a month's time, it would definitely be a different story. Good luck

mississippi

It must be an 18 month old thing - when we flew back from our month's holiday from the UK to Brisbane, our 18 month old was sick on the entire flight, he just lay on me and my husband the entire time, without eating or drinking - just vomiting and 40 degree temperatures. Then when we got home, luckily we'd booked a direct flight via Singapore so it was pretty straight forward, he was sick for the entire week, with temps and lethagy. Took him to the doctor on day one of our arrival who told me to take him to the emergency department, who let me sit in the waiting area for 3 hours (so I figured that was a good sign since it wasn't obviously life threatening) they said it wasn't bacterial so there was nothing they could do. It took him a good week to get better and his temps remained high for days.

I think it's quite common, according to the health experts for small kids to pick up things from long haul flights, it was just unlucky for him and you that it led to dehydration, and the flight wouldn't have helped with that. At least he's being well looked after. I know it's put me off returning to the UK earlier, he's now 2 and a half and I hope a little more tougher.

Good luck with your return home.

lucy71

Thanks so much for all the replies, this forum is such a good support! I went to bed at 8pm last night and slept for 12 hours, my OH is being Mr Mum today and I'm in bed with a cup of tea, Red Magazine and the laptop!


Guess I'm being a bit too hard on myself, it's only a week and things have been a bit crazy in every sense of the word!:curse:

Hanging in by the skin of my teeth! Hopefully things will be better in a months time! Thanks once again for all your wellwishes, makes me feel better already!

Emma M

I'm sorry you seem to have had such a dreadful time moving back. It sounds like you have had a lot of stress over the last week or so. Give yourself time to readjust, I'm sure that as things settle down for you, you'll feel better about being back home