Pombat

Jemima, you have a huge amount on your plates right now. I am sending you good wishes that everything will go as smoothly as possible. I hope that your family and friends will be able to give lots of practical and emotional support to get you all through this difficult time.

Lorry1

When it rains, it really bloody pours down!
Sorry to hear you're having such a crap time but I hope you can pull through with friends and neighbours support.
Thinking of you

lf1

Jemima,

I hope that things improve for you in the near future. Thinking of you.

katybluewater

Oh Jemima - what an ordeal for you - I hope it all works out. We are moving bacj into our house - but wont have furniture for about 6 weeks - so we are renting furniture - you should check it out - its quite reasonable and would mean you can try and get back to normality asap. sending you love xx

jemima55

Katy, I`m interested to hear that. Who are you renting furniture from?
I didnt know that was available in the UK, having never needed it before.
One problem is on its way to being solved. My son and husband are coming over and our son will stay here so he wont be on his own any more. He`s going to have a bit of culture shock having spent the past three years in the US, and not having been home in all that time, but still has some friends in the area we`re moving back to.
I`m at my brother in laws at the moment but we will move on to my mum in laws house until our house comes free at the beginning of July. I`ve contacted friends and neighbours to tell them what we`ll be doing (camping out) so I`ve had offers of help.
I`ve had crazy "cold feet" (after having agitated to come home), but staying in the US is not an option. I think its partly nostalgia for a couple of months ago before knowing my sister was ill, and all I had to worry about was keeping the house tidy for viewers, and partly worry about the challenges of the future. Son getting job, me getting job, house sale, settling back etc.
Thanks to you all for your words of support, they are very valuable!

between two worlds

Just to say I think the cold feet are entirely normal. I too agitated for years to go back to England--it's easy to agitate fiercely for it when you know there isn't much chance of it's happening! When my husband finally said, OK, let's do it, I felt, "gulp! yikes! Is it really what I want to d, after all?" and also, "if it all goes wrong there, it will be all my fault! !!"

Of course we still haven't got there yet, and I still want to go--now the cold feet are very much about being far from children and any future grandchildren. But as we have three who are unlikely to all live in the same place in the US, we would be far from some or all of them wherever we lived in the States!

This is all just to say that these cold feet and last-minute doubts have been felt by many different returnees on this forum, and I think it's a natural panic at such an enormous life change. It doesn't mean it's all a mistake.

Tina

jemima55

Thanks Tina,it could also be cold feet for the weather, which, although blissfully hot when we came here has been a bit British since!
You are right about the guilt thing as well. I think the truth is it`s easy to stick with "what you know" and that, for us has become the US in recent years, but I never found it all that satisfying, so I need to make that move back to the UK and see what the future holds, even if it seems a little scary at the moment! I think of myself as like a radio that will have to "tune back in".

Brat1

I've just read your sad news Jemima and wish to pass on my condolences to you and the rest of the family, such a sad time for you all.

You have so much to deal with just now and that must be awful. Draw strength from knowing that you were with your sister when she needed you, and that moving back to the UK is in the best interests of you and your family, that will get you through the tough days and weeks ahead. I wish you all the best for your new life back in the UK, and pray that everything goes smoothly for you. I'm sure the next week is going to be a tough and sad one for you all, so hopefully, you can all support each other emotionally, and share all the good memories you have of your sister. Sending hugs your way

jemima55

Thanks Brat1,
The family are quite proud of me as I hate flying! It was so lovely to be there at the end with my sister. I`m here for her boys at the moment, which is also good. My sister was quite a character and many of her friends and colleagues will come to the memorial service, she was much loved! We`ll just take it a step at a time as far as the move goes, and if we cant sell it we`ll rent it out, no point worrying!
Thanks for your kind words!

Moggiemiss

Just read this thread and am very sorry to hear of your loss .... I hope it all goes right for your move. Follow your heart and your instinct and you are usually led down the right path.

jemima55

A bit of good news! All my family (husband, two sons and daughter in law) will be arriving towards the end of next week for the memorial service.We are very rarely all together, as we`ve been living on different continents. I`m hoping this becomes more frequent with us back in the UK. I cant tell you how excited I am to be seeing them all!

Mummy in the foothills

Thats going to be good for you to be surrounded by the ones you love. I hope it all goes well with the move.

Pombat

How lovely for you all to be back together. I hope you can enjoy it despite the circumstances that have brought it about.