Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
Nov 1st 2009, 9:44 pm
#1
Its all going south......
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Sussex
Posts: 433
Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
Hi all, Not sure if you will all be familliar with me as i also go under the name 'tuppins' - set up so that i could be honest without offending any of my Ozzy/ Brit mates.
Anyway, we returned from the sunshine coast in QLD 3 months ago and i felt that it was time for an update, as we found this forum very useful when we were making the decision to return.
We moved to Australia for the common reasons, we have 2 young children 18months and 4 at the time and felt that they would have a better future in Australia than the UK, that the weather would be better and so enrich us with a better quality of life, that the roads would be less cluttered and therefore we would be less stressed. So, we sold our house, all our furniture, packed our 8 boxes for shipping and off we went to Caloundra, sunny coast qld. We had never been to Australia before but we felt it was a risk we needed to take.
We arrived in Brisbane and spent a wk in the Gold coast at a child friendly resort, which was awful. The flight had completely done us in, the kids were all out of sinc and we were really stressed. To top it all off i hated it straight away, i just could not believe that we had sold our life away to come to this place, OH seemed to like it OK, but it is much more americanised than i had thought, but hey, this is for the kids and their future, right? so i got on with it. A wk later we arrived in Caloundra, which was much more preferable to GC and we had splashed out on a really lovely apartment for 3wks so we were all much more settled. To begin with we enjoyed the beaches and the weather, not much else really, moved into a beach house which was pretty basic but had a big garden and driveway and best of all was 2mins from a lovely beach, we didn't stretch ourself as neither of us had work.
Time went on and OH had real difficulties getting work (he's a plumber) he had 2wks and then nothing for 5months. I however, had 2 different jobs lasting just over 6months in all, despite the fact that i hadnt worked for 4yrs, i mean, where is the logic?! The problem was that OH kept getting rejected when they heard that he was English! We got our visa on his skill and then he couldn't get work. He did eventually get work in March (after 7 months!) but the jobs weren't coming in and there was talk of the business being shut down. I would come back from work to OH in bed sometimes, he was getting so depressed staying at home doing nothing, now you might say "why not enjoy the time off down the beach" but after months of it it does get pretty boring. He would be down and i would be up and then i would be down and he would be up, what a mess! The whole time we were struggling - like nearly everyone we had met, but we were lucky that we weren't too frivolous and didn't lose too much.
We rented a fully furn place as we didn't want to buy furniture, first of all this was for convenience, but after time we renewed our lease again and again as we just didn't want to buy any furniture as to do this we felt we would be committing ourselves to staying, which neither myself or OH felt we wanted to do. We were careful with money as we felt we would need it when we returned - as that was on our mind all the time.
We were lucky as we had made lots of lovely friends (nearly all brits) and enjoyed seeing them but we still didn't feel settled.
We would go out for the day and all we could think about was how we wished we could share it with our families. We could have a big house with a pool but really what is the point if you can't share it with the people that really matter to you? We would drive for hours to visit a beach only to find that it is exactly the same as the one that we live right next to, it all felt so manmade, samey lacking in culture and quite frankly boring. We felt as if we had nothing to look forward to - we knew that our it was unlikely that family could afford the time or money to visit and that it would just be sad when they left anyway. We knew that every holiday from now on would be in Australia, i mean, it's not like you can just pop over to Europe to one of the many countries that is completely different to your own.
We couldn't stand another drive down the Nicklin Highway, another sh*t curry that we had to take a loan out for, pick up ourselves and order before 7.30, another trip to Kmart, another night out at the RSL as that is the only place in town to go, another pitch black evening (it gets dark at 6pm ALL year around), another awkward conversation in the local shop as they don't understand our humour, yet another day where the only thing you can wear are shorts.
We longed for our old life back, our little victorian terrace - might not be as big as an oz house but it had 100 times more character than their houses will ever have, a cold day where we could wear a jumper boots and scarf, a walk into a quaint town rather than having to get in the 4x4 to go to concrete heaven.
For us the decision was an easy one to make, after a year in Oz we came to the realisation that the sun can't make you happy, that we want our children to be English - not Australian; have our values and sensibilities, that family is just SO important, that feeling like you belong and having things to look forward to is a great feeling, that being able to be free and open without wondering how it will be received is liberating, having grandparents to share your childrens birthday with, looking forward to christmas and spending it with the special people in our lives, not dredding it....and that having changes in weather is visually inspiring.
So we headed back to the UK after a year in Oz.
We were lucky as we made the decision to go to Oz together and made the decision to come home together, which i think is fundamental to our success.
We both have no regrets whatsoever and we both feel that we have done the right thing for our family unit.
I won't lie, the first 3-4wks was awful, living with the inlaws was really stressful and it took us time to settle back, but boy, was it worth it?!
OH has got work that pays really well, there is more work than we thought there would be, although for OH most of the jobs want Gassafe which he is working towards now. We found that the initial fees for renting are expensive (be warned!) but we are now in a wonderful rental - a 2 dbl bed victorian gf flat with lovely front and back gardens, feature fireplaces, high ceiling with roses in a lovely tree lined street. It has been a great stepping stone in getting settled back in, and we are now proceeding with the purchase of a house at the moment that it substantially bigger than the one we left behind. Getting a mortgage hasn't been a problem but we have gone through the bank that we have had 3mortgages with before, we also kept a bank acct and loan open with them whilst we were away and had a 25% deposit, although we were also offered a 15% mortgage but the repayments were higher(some good rates at the mo, fixed at 4.5%).
My oldest son (now 5) has started school, and is struggling a little as he has missed reception - thank god we didn't wait another year before returning! The only thing is, there were no spaces in a local shool for his year group so i have to drive him to school, so, if you can, apply for a place before you return through a relative's address (i know you're not supposed to, but it will make things a lot easier when you return).
WE have seen a lot more of family and friends since we have returned and it feels great to be a part of it all again. It is a wonderful feeling seeing the boys with their grandparents and they are getting spoilt rotten!
So basically, we are really glad that we are back (OH so much so that he won't even talk about Oz - he hates it) We are so glad that we went away as it has given us an appreciation of our country that we would never have had. I think that the weather that i used to moan about is probably one of the best climates in the world as it is so varied, i have really enjoyed autumn with all the little squirrels, foxs, bare trees with crispy leaves under foot and i can honestly say that in over 3months back we have had wonderful weather, and when it does rain it doesn't burn holes in your skin!
I also believe that the UK has the best positioning with Europe on its doorstep, all those wonderful countries that are all well within our reach.
The roads are very busy, which would be my main gripe, but i would rather be in a traffic jam here than driving down the Nicklin!
I hope that this post, if anyone has got to the end! will help someone in their decision to return. I knew deep down all along, and i think it gets harder the longer you leave it. Goodluck!
Anyway, we returned from the sunshine coast in QLD 3 months ago and i felt that it was time for an update, as we found this forum very useful when we were making the decision to return.
We moved to Australia for the common reasons, we have 2 young children 18months and 4 at the time and felt that they would have a better future in Australia than the UK, that the weather would be better and so enrich us with a better quality of life, that the roads would be less cluttered and therefore we would be less stressed. So, we sold our house, all our furniture, packed our 8 boxes for shipping and off we went to Caloundra, sunny coast qld. We had never been to Australia before but we felt it was a risk we needed to take.
We arrived in Brisbane and spent a wk in the Gold coast at a child friendly resort, which was awful. The flight had completely done us in, the kids were all out of sinc and we were really stressed. To top it all off i hated it straight away, i just could not believe that we had sold our life away to come to this place, OH seemed to like it OK, but it is much more americanised than i had thought, but hey, this is for the kids and their future, right? so i got on with it. A wk later we arrived in Caloundra, which was much more preferable to GC and we had splashed out on a really lovely apartment for 3wks so we were all much more settled. To begin with we enjoyed the beaches and the weather, not much else really, moved into a beach house which was pretty basic but had a big garden and driveway and best of all was 2mins from a lovely beach, we didn't stretch ourself as neither of us had work.
Time went on and OH had real difficulties getting work (he's a plumber) he had 2wks and then nothing for 5months. I however, had 2 different jobs lasting just over 6months in all, despite the fact that i hadnt worked for 4yrs, i mean, where is the logic?! The problem was that OH kept getting rejected when they heard that he was English! We got our visa on his skill and then he couldn't get work. He did eventually get work in March (after 7 months!) but the jobs weren't coming in and there was talk of the business being shut down. I would come back from work to OH in bed sometimes, he was getting so depressed staying at home doing nothing, now you might say "why not enjoy the time off down the beach" but after months of it it does get pretty boring. He would be down and i would be up and then i would be down and he would be up, what a mess! The whole time we were struggling - like nearly everyone we had met, but we were lucky that we weren't too frivolous and didn't lose too much.
We rented a fully furn place as we didn't want to buy furniture, first of all this was for convenience, but after time we renewed our lease again and again as we just didn't want to buy any furniture as to do this we felt we would be committing ourselves to staying, which neither myself or OH felt we wanted to do. We were careful with money as we felt we would need it when we returned - as that was on our mind all the time.
We were lucky as we had made lots of lovely friends (nearly all brits) and enjoyed seeing them but we still didn't feel settled.
We would go out for the day and all we could think about was how we wished we could share it with our families. We could have a big house with a pool but really what is the point if you can't share it with the people that really matter to you? We would drive for hours to visit a beach only to find that it is exactly the same as the one that we live right next to, it all felt so manmade, samey lacking in culture and quite frankly boring. We felt as if we had nothing to look forward to - we knew that our it was unlikely that family could afford the time or money to visit and that it would just be sad when they left anyway. We knew that every holiday from now on would be in Australia, i mean, it's not like you can just pop over to Europe to one of the many countries that is completely different to your own.
We couldn't stand another drive down the Nicklin Highway, another sh*t curry that we had to take a loan out for, pick up ourselves and order before 7.30, another trip to Kmart, another night out at the RSL as that is the only place in town to go, another pitch black evening (it gets dark at 6pm ALL year around), another awkward conversation in the local shop as they don't understand our humour, yet another day where the only thing you can wear are shorts.
We longed for our old life back, our little victorian terrace - might not be as big as an oz house but it had 100 times more character than their houses will ever have, a cold day where we could wear a jumper boots and scarf, a walk into a quaint town rather than having to get in the 4x4 to go to concrete heaven.
For us the decision was an easy one to make, after a year in Oz we came to the realisation that the sun can't make you happy, that we want our children to be English - not Australian; have our values and sensibilities, that family is just SO important, that feeling like you belong and having things to look forward to is a great feeling, that being able to be free and open without wondering how it will be received is liberating, having grandparents to share your childrens birthday with, looking forward to christmas and spending it with the special people in our lives, not dredding it....and that having changes in weather is visually inspiring.
So we headed back to the UK after a year in Oz.
We were lucky as we made the decision to go to Oz together and made the decision to come home together, which i think is fundamental to our success.
We both have no regrets whatsoever and we both feel that we have done the right thing for our family unit.
I won't lie, the first 3-4wks was awful, living with the inlaws was really stressful and it took us time to settle back, but boy, was it worth it?!
OH has got work that pays really well, there is more work than we thought there would be, although for OH most of the jobs want Gassafe which he is working towards now. We found that the initial fees for renting are expensive (be warned!) but we are now in a wonderful rental - a 2 dbl bed victorian gf flat with lovely front and back gardens, feature fireplaces, high ceiling with roses in a lovely tree lined street. It has been a great stepping stone in getting settled back in, and we are now proceeding with the purchase of a house at the moment that it substantially bigger than the one we left behind. Getting a mortgage hasn't been a problem but we have gone through the bank that we have had 3mortgages with before, we also kept a bank acct and loan open with them whilst we were away and had a 25% deposit, although we were also offered a 15% mortgage but the repayments were higher(some good rates at the mo, fixed at 4.5%).
My oldest son (now 5) has started school, and is struggling a little as he has missed reception - thank god we didn't wait another year before returning! The only thing is, there were no spaces in a local shool for his year group so i have to drive him to school, so, if you can, apply for a place before you return through a relative's address (i know you're not supposed to, but it will make things a lot easier when you return).
WE have seen a lot more of family and friends since we have returned and it feels great to be a part of it all again. It is a wonderful feeling seeing the boys with their grandparents and they are getting spoilt rotten!
So basically, we are really glad that we are back (OH so much so that he won't even talk about Oz - he hates it) We are so glad that we went away as it has given us an appreciation of our country that we would never have had. I think that the weather that i used to moan about is probably one of the best climates in the world as it is so varied, i have really enjoyed autumn with all the little squirrels, foxs, bare trees with crispy leaves under foot and i can honestly say that in over 3months back we have had wonderful weather, and when it does rain it doesn't burn holes in your skin!
I also believe that the UK has the best positioning with Europe on its doorstep, all those wonderful countries that are all well within our reach.
The roads are very busy, which would be my main gripe, but i would rather be in a traffic jam here than driving down the Nicklin!
I hope that this post, if anyone has got to the end! will help someone in their decision to return. I knew deep down all along, and i think it gets harder the longer you leave it. Goodluck!
Nov 1st 2009, 10:33 pm
#2
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Home!!!
Posts: 421
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
Excellent and informative update, thanks for sharing. Glad you are happy with the decision to return and hope it continues to work out for you.
We are already in the process of returning and don't expect the first few months to be plain sailing but hope like yourselves it will be worth it in the end.
We are already in the process of returning and don't expect the first few months to be plain sailing but hope like yourselves it will be worth it in the end.
Nov 1st 2009, 10:37 pm
#3
Its all going south......
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Sussex
Posts: 433
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
Excellent and informative update, thanks for sharing. Glad you are happy with the decision to return and hope it continues to work out for you.
We are already in the process of returning and don't expect the first few months to be plain sailing but hope like yourselves it will be worth it in the end.
We are already in the process of returning and don't expect the first few months to be plain sailing but hope like yourselves it will be worth it in the end.
Nov 1st 2009, 11:01 pm
#4
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: London
Posts: 276
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
So basically, we are really glad that we are back (OH so much so that he won't even talk about Oz - he hates it) We are so glad that we went away as it has given us an appreciation of our country that we would never have had. I think that the weather that i used to moan about is probably one of the best climates in the world as it is so varied, i have really enjoyed autumn with all the little squirrels, foxs, bare trees with crispy leaves under foot and i can honestly say that in over 3months back we have had wonderful weather, and when it does rain it doesn't burn holes in your skin!
I also believe that the UK has the best positioning with Europe on its doorstep, all those wonderful countries that are all well within our reach.
The roads are very busy, which would be my main gripe, but i would rather be in a traffic jam here than driving down the Nicklin!
I hope that this post, if anyone has got to the end! will help someone in their decision to return. I knew deep down all along, and i think it gets harder the longer you leave it. Goodluck!
I also believe that the UK has the best positioning with Europe on its doorstep, all those wonderful countries that are all well within our reach.
The roads are very busy, which would be my main gripe, but i would rather be in a traffic jam here than driving down the Nicklin!
I hope that this post, if anyone has got to the end! will help someone in their decision to return. I knew deep down all along, and i think it gets harder the longer you leave it. Goodluck!
Reading your post, I felt more than a little envious - not just your description of autumn, but also the thought of being able to pick and choose between all those fantastic European destinations for a holiday.......
I'm pleased to hear it has all worked out so well for you and I wish you and your family all the best for the future.
Nov 1st 2009, 11:12 pm
#5
I don't give a damn
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: In the arms of my family. Heaven...
Posts: 4,980
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
Glad you have settled back well. Just like you, I love my country more than ever now. I think it should be made compulsory to go live overseas for a year to make a lot of the miserable whingers be thankful for what they have got here!
Banging on about no jobs gets my goat. OK, my OH is a nurse so it was easy, but well done your OH in getting plumbing work! Just goes to show there IS work here!
Banging on about no jobs gets my goat. OK, my OH is a nurse so it was easy, but well done your OH in getting plumbing work! Just goes to show there IS work here!
Nov 1st 2009, 11:20 pm
#6
Concierge
Joined: May 2006
Location: ex ex-pat, in Taunton
Posts: 27,403
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
Glad you have settled back well. Just like you, I love my country more than ever now. I think it should be made compulsory to go live overseas for a year to make a lot of the miserable whingers be thankful for what they have got here!
Banging on about no jobs gets my goat. OK, my OH is a nurse so it was easy, but well done your OH in getting plumbing work! Just goes to show there IS work here!
Banging on about no jobs gets my goat. OK, my OH is a nurse so it was easy, but well done your OH in getting plumbing work! Just goes to show there IS work here!
Nov 1st 2009, 11:52 pm
#7
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 460
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
Fantastic update and glad you are happy.
We leave for the U.K 2 weeks today and I just know it is the right thing to do. I am also in construction and i personally feel it is much better paid and there is more respect in the industry in the U.K
Thanks for a good read
We leave for the U.K 2 weeks today and I just know it is the right thing to do. I am also in construction and i personally feel it is much better paid and there is more respect in the industry in the U.K
Thanks for a good read
Nov 2nd 2009, 12:05 am
#8
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 508
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
I'm glad everything's worked out for you, and you're happy to be home.
I find myself in the opposite situation. I lived in South Africa for 30 years, my wife came back 3 years ago and I returned in June to be with her. The UK is great in lots of ways, but I don't belong here. Frankly, I hate it, but that's just me, and not a criticism.
I've tried to hide this as much as I can, but I don't think I've made a very good job of it. We were watching something about Africa on television the other evening, and I suppose I was rather silent/pensive, because my wife said "You want to go home, don't you?". Yes, I do. I want to walk out of the airport under a hot blue sky, in the sun, and feel the space and freedom of violent, corrupt, incompetent and wonderful Africa again. Soon.
I find myself in the opposite situation. I lived in South Africa for 30 years, my wife came back 3 years ago and I returned in June to be with her. The UK is great in lots of ways, but I don't belong here. Frankly, I hate it, but that's just me, and not a criticism.
I've tried to hide this as much as I can, but I don't think I've made a very good job of it. We were watching something about Africa on television the other evening, and I suppose I was rather silent/pensive, because my wife said "You want to go home, don't you?". Yes, I do. I want to walk out of the airport under a hot blue sky, in the sun, and feel the space and freedom of violent, corrupt, incompetent and wonderful Africa again. Soon.
Nov 2nd 2009, 12:21 am
#9
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Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Home!!!
Posts: 421
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
Agree FF, I have family in Essex (quite a nice part too) who constantly moan how bad the UK is but have never lived abroad. They really don't appreciate what is on their doorstep.
Nov 2nd 2009, 12:48 am
#10
I don't give a damn
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: In the arms of my family. Heaven...
Posts: 4,980
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
I feel like i have been born again since i came back. I see so many GOOD things that i know i would never have noticed before i left.
Even when i am stuck in a queue at traffic lights i look around and notice the lovely front gardens full of colour and kept neat and tidy. Far more so than the Aussie equivalent!
Nov 2nd 2009, 12:57 am
#11
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,872
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
Welcome home and it sounds like its all working out brilliantly for you!Glad your OH has work now,he must be feeling much better in himself!Have a great life and keep us posted!
Nov 2nd 2009, 12:59 am
#12
poole ,dorset . love it
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,281
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
I'm glad everything's worked out for you, and you're happy to be home.
I find myself in the opposite situation. I lived in South Africa for 30 years, my wife came back 3 years ago and I returned in June to be with her. The UK is great in lots of ways, but I don't belong here. Frankly, I hate it, but that's just me, and not a criticism.
I've tried to hide this as much as I can, but I don't think I've made a very good job of it. We were watching something about Africa on television the other evening, and I suppose I was rather silent/pensive, because my wife said "You want to go home, don't you?". Yes, I do. I want to walk out of the airport under a hot blue sky, in the sun, and feel the space and freedom of violent, corrupt, incompetent and wonderful Africa again. Soon.
I find myself in the opposite situation. I lived in South Africa for 30 years, my wife came back 3 years ago and I returned in June to be with her. The UK is great in lots of ways, but I don't belong here. Frankly, I hate it, but that's just me, and not a criticism.
I've tried to hide this as much as I can, but I don't think I've made a very good job of it. We were watching something about Africa on television the other evening, and I suppose I was rather silent/pensive, because my wife said "You want to go home, don't you?". Yes, I do. I want to walk out of the airport under a hot blue sky, in the sun, and feel the space and freedom of violent, corrupt, incompetent and wonderful Africa again. Soon.
Nov 2nd 2009, 1:18 am
#13
Its all going south......
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Sussex
Posts: 433
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
I'm glad everything's worked out for you, and you're happy to be home.
I find myself in the opposite situation. I lived in South Africa for 30 years, my wife came back 3 years ago and I returned in June to be with her. The UK is great in lots of ways, but I don't belong here. Frankly, I hate it, but that's just me, and not a criticism.
I've tried to hide this as much as I can, but I don't think I've made a very good job of it. We were watching something about Africa on television the other evening, and I suppose I was rather silent/pensive, because my wife said "You want to go home, don't you?". Yes, I do. I want to walk out of the airport under a hot blue sky, in the sun, and feel the space and freedom of violent, corrupt, incompetent and wonderful Africa again. Soon.
I find myself in the opposite situation. I lived in South Africa for 30 years, my wife came back 3 years ago and I returned in June to be with her. The UK is great in lots of ways, but I don't belong here. Frankly, I hate it, but that's just me, and not a criticism.
I've tried to hide this as much as I can, but I don't think I've made a very good job of it. We were watching something about Africa on television the other evening, and I suppose I was rather silent/pensive, because my wife said "You want to go home, don't you?". Yes, I do. I want to walk out of the airport under a hot blue sky, in the sun, and feel the space and freedom of violent, corrupt, incompetent and wonderful Africa again. Soon.
my heart goes out to you, it's horrible when all you want is whats familliar to YOU - your mother country.
A good example was our 1st xmas in Oz - we went to the beach in the morning. We were surrounded by Aussie's with all their family lapping up the sun, they were having a great time because that's what THEY know xmas to be. We on the other hand felt miserable, to us xmas should be cold and we should be cosied up inside by the fire.
It seems it's hard to let go wherever you are from x
Nov 2nd 2009, 1:21 am
#14
Its all going south......
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Sussex
Posts: 433
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
Fantastic update and glad you are happy.
We leave for the U.K 2 weeks today and I just know it is the right thing to do. I am also in construction and i personally feel it is much better paid and there is more respect in the industry in the U.K
Thanks for a good read
We leave for the U.K 2 weeks today and I just know it is the right thing to do. I am also in construction and i personally feel it is much better paid and there is more respect in the industry in the U.K
Thanks for a good read
Nov 2nd 2009, 2:17 am
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: US
Posts: 144
Re: Back home 3 months - my story and update (a really long one!)
I agree with you that all those 'whingers' in the UK should live somewhere else to appreciate just what they have, I know I didn't..... but certainly do now.
Living in the US for the past 5 years, me and the OH, who is American are due to return to UK in May 2010 but I don't know whether I can wait 'til then.....it's getting harder and harder every day. What part of Sussex did you move to?.......that's where we will be going.......staying with mum first until we find a place and work....I'm a nurse so hopefully won't be too difficult.
Thanks for the update, it's really good to read these stories.
Living in the US for the past 5 years, me and the OH, who is American are due to return to UK in May 2010 but I don't know whether I can wait 'til then.....it's getting harder and harder every day. What part of Sussex did you move to?.......that's where we will be going.......staying with mum first until we find a place and work....I'm a nurse so hopefully won't be too difficult.
Thanks for the update, it's really good to read these stories.
