dgjamison

Returned form Canada in 1985 and lived in Belfast/ UK for the next 25 years, then suddenly decided this is not for us and wanted to go back to Canada... lasted 10 months, so here is my update although a little different from expats that have been away 20 years or more, I still learned a very valuable lesson.

What I have learned on returning to the UK at last is the grass is not always greener, and this is where I BELONG and feel apart of. I think the most important thing is a feeling of belonging, when I went back to Canada, (and it is a great and beautiful country, I had just outgrown it and it me) I felt disconnected with the people and culture I had thought I knew and embrassed, and totally alone. to the point of feeling if I died in an apartment no one would know and that was really scary.... I had never felt like that before, so returning to my native soil where my immediate family, and friends were, made me realise at my age this was were I really belonged and everything I had ever wanted was right here. I love it here now weather and all which I used to use as an excuse for moving away along with( in norhtern Irelanad s people especally) the Troubles. Now I am home there is still a lot wrong with it, and it is certainly no eutopia, but its home, and I will never move away again. I will travel to Europe in the summer, London for a theatre break, York to see that beautiful old town, Scotland, Cornwall, Devon the world is my oyster. I have joined a golf club, and ladies section and my life is busier than I ever remember it, so I feel I am no longer dependant on my kids to look after me I have my own social life and feeling 10 years younger So for me it does'nt matter if the price of a steak is cheaper here than the US? Canada, I will eat mince steak if I am happy and that is what it is all about, has just taken me 40 years to find itbut hey its never too late
I hear people telling me about people who have returned to the uk could'nt stand it and returned to either the states or canada, fair play to them that is what works for them, but I tend to wonder when these same people come to 60 years will they feel the same way, and of course having family close is a big factor.

I used to regret bringing my kids home young,that if I had waited a few years longer they would'nt have wanted to come back, but I am glad I did now, as they have found their roots as well, and have the priviledge of returning to Canada if they so wish. So this is how it has turned our for us, there have been great times and really really bad times, but I have had family and friends supporting us like we never had when we lived abroad, and to me at my time of life that is the most important thing to me now. Only wish I had realised this a lot sooner, but never too late eh????

J.J

This is interesting insight, thank you and best wishes

Mummy in the foothills

you're right it's never too late.
I'm not looking for green grass, although it is greener in UK than here. I just want to go home. Warts and all.

brits1

Hi, we have the same views really, although we have been "lucky" so far as we have not had really an "lows" etc since our return home. We were told all kinds of tales of people who had returned home when we lived in Aus, at times that use to get me "worked up" etc i.e. "are we doing the correct and right thing"...but we knew what we wanted and what we were returning to warts and all, it's just home plain and simple and we love it. Good luck and as my friend said a few weeks ago to me "Home really is where the heart is"

Nixxy

Enjoyed your post

It's always good to read these forums for a reality check.

Also been back 14 months and still feel like I'm in limbo, wanting to be in NSW but knowing deep down the UK is probably the best place to be.

You cant imagine the amount of times I have started a post on the subject only to delete it, maybe getting that post out there would be the best therapy .

Want to settle but cant forget what we had and dont want to forget because it was one of the best periods of my life, even though it wasn't for my OH.

dgjamison

Financially we have lost almost everything, to own another house may not be viable, so we may have to rent, which is really something I have a problem with, but that was the price I paid for my itchy feet, but it is the only fly in the ointment for me now, as our life is busier than ever, now that I have put my mind to it and got involved, (which I did'nt do before and should have , it might have contented me more) I really wish everyone well, and happiness good luck

Merseygirl

Great post. I relate so much to what you say about a 'sense of belonging'. It is so important and I think us females need that feeling more than men do, generally.
It has taken me more than 12 years to feel anything that resembles a sense of belonging in Australia. Even now it still feels a bit superficial compared to how I feel when I am in the UK.
But like you, I am under no illusions that the grass is greener. You can accept that if you feel that you belong.

john1569

I have been in the US for 20 years now , been and worked all over the place . Even though I always have had a good job ,I work for the county now, I never go home . I can not find it over here . I read my local paper , drink my PG tips every day and listen on line to my home team Grimsby Town every game. Anyway I am going back home at the start of the new year , should have done it years ago . That is where my heart is and that is where I belong.

dgjamison

Hi Merseygirl, what part of Australia are you in? I was married in Australia, my husband and I imigrated in 1971 to get away from the terrible troubles here in N. Ireland, and we are mixed religion, so wanted away from all that nonsense I was only 18 yrs old at the time, and returned to Ireland 2 1/2 years later, I was so homesick for my Mum and Dad, imigrated to Canada again in 1976, to get away from it all again, as I hated the troubles, this time I stayed 10 years before returning home, I just could not think of either of these places as "home", although both are beautiful countries, with a lot to offer young people, it was never my Home, so I have stayed back here and thank goodness things are so much better now. When we retired we thought we would give Canada a second chance this time we lasted 10 months still a good country, but for me I was a complete stranger there and that was when I really realised where I really always belonged. I often wonder if we had not had our awful situation of the troubles would I have imigrated, as I loved Belfast before it happened, ah well we will never know, I just feel I missed out on an awful lot of my teenage years with my friends and family through no fault of my own, but I suppose, I gained a lot from the experience too. Wish you all the best for the future, so you think you will return home?

dgjamison

John 1569, wishing you all the best and hope it works for you, its not eutopia and yes there are down sides, but so has every other country that I know of. You know if they stopped imigration now and put the same practices in place for imigration like USA, Canada, Australia, the UK could concentrate on getting itself back on its feet. At the moment anyone can come get medical treatment free, benefits from day one ect:Its crazy, even though I am a Canadian Citizen when we returned we had to reapply for our medical card, and where not covered for 3 months, why can't the UK enforce something like that, I could go on, the point I am making things could so easily get better for us citizens if only the government were not so darned liberal, and enforced some rules like other countries, sorry I just wonder why is the UK so generous all the time rant over

Celticspirit

Denise, did you still have a current UK passport when you returned to Belfast? We came to the USA in 1972 for the same reasons you did as my husband was working at Daisy Hill Hospital and we could hear the bullets all around us. It was a very scary time.

dgjamison

Hi Celticspirit, yes I have my UK passport along with my Canadian one as well, and I will keep the Canadain passort updated, as I found going into and out of the USA was so much easier with a Canadian passport, but I use the UK one for Europe and in the UK as thats easier, so Isuppose the best of
both worlds.

Celticspirit

Thanks for the info and both my UK and US passports are current.