Back in Blighty
 

Well I've been back in Blighty 2 weeks now.

Came over for a wedding and to stay for Christmas to try to decide whether I want to move back here. Am posting a brief update as promised.

Its cold. On a positive note, today is the third day in 2 weeks when the sun has been shining!

I feel like a bit of a stranger in my own land. My family and friends all have lives of their own, that are very different from the life I have created for myself in Australia. And I'm not sure that I want to or can lead a similar sort of life any more.

Everyone I know here is settled down with kids or kids on the way. Everyone I know in Sydney is active and single (like me).

I feel kind of trapped indoors. The idea of the type of outdoor activities that I have grown used to are not particularly inspiring here.

Spent 4 hours driving from Halifax to Derby yesterday. And there are massive queues in all the shops - I never used to notice!

On another positive note ... I've been offered a job in Halifax (hence the trip) earning practically double what I get in Sydney and with much better prospects. But do I exchange my life in Sydney for a good well paid job in Halifax?

One important observation, particularly for the ladies ... the shops are beautiful and things like clothes feel like such good quality for the money :). Eg tailored suits selling full price in Next for 65 quid!

I'm feeling pretty mixed up right now and longing to just run away back to my life in Sydney. But will I regret it from a career and financial perspective? Or will I regret staying from a fun lifestyle perspective?

I'm also somewhat haunted here by memories of an ex who ironically was the reason for my move to Oz. In Oz I have created a life of my own without him. Here I would have to do all the hard work all over again.

I don't want to put other people off trying a move back here. I have a tendancy to react badly to life changes so I'm sure other people will be better at adapting than me. And if you're at the same stage of life as your friends and family members then that would be a major bonus!

Confused as usual :(.

Sorry if this has been a bit all over the place - am rushing as on my way out. Will keep you posted!!

Re: Back in Blighty
 

Hi LCT and welcome "home"!It seems to me that you have already moved on from all these people you know.I spent a long long time in Oz(I'm british)and returned to the UK 10 years ago.I have a very happy fullfilled life here.We (this is the reverse to your situation)had contemplated a life back in Oz,my OH got his visa and we validated this year in May.I found the reverse to you.I was quite excited about this validation trip,but once we got back to Oz(I'm from South)I found it all quite depressing.I had left 10 years ago,friends who were very happy ect.This time around they all seemed very unhappy and depressed with life,most cried on my shoulder while I was there.Family seemed quite weird,it was like us walking back into the past.We had moved on but they had not.Just being back in my home town made me remember why I had left.Too many bad memories and yes from an Ex husband as well.I think if you are pretty happy in Sydney,why change that?You mentioned a job offer here,but money is'nt everything.My family and friends can't understand why I won't return,but the answer is simple,I'm happy here so why would I change that?It must be abit depressing to return to the UK at the mo because of the revolting weather,which has been very bad up north.I live on the Wilts/Somerset border and yes its been wet lately but in all the weather is quite ok,and I find I spend more time outside here than I ever did in the 30 years in Oz.I wish you luck.Take a good hard look at all aspects and I'm sure you'll make the right decision.Whatever you decide,it won't be a mistake because you make the right decision at the time.Best of luck and I hope it all works out for you xx

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I have found many people give up and move on because friends and family don't seem to be interested anymore in them.
I on the otherhand don't live by anyone elses rules or life-style and choose what I want to do, where i live and how i live it.
I never expected friends/family to sit and wait around for us to decide where we wanted to be. It's great they have their own life's to live..thankgod, wouldn't want the ache of them up my ass 24/7 lol.
But i do see friends and family alot anyway and we are all happy.
What i'm trying to say is..do what you want to do and not what others tell you to'...live where you feel happiest, if that means less wage, then so be it.

Re: Back in Blighty
 

Good post, LCT. You're just talking things through. When would you have to decide on the job? If possible, just keep being honest.

If you truly love lots of sun etc, you're not going to get it in the UK and no amount of money will compensate. OTOH, you can't judge English weather by November, particularly this one, which I gather has been unusually wet and windy.

It's always a bit of this, a bit of that!

Bev

Re: Back in Blighty
 

Thanks for the replies.

I am under pressure to decide about the job asap. I've told them I need the weekend to decide.

Waterfront apartment in Sydney to Halifax will be a bit of a shock to the system I suspect!

Argh, I feel sick!

Maybe I'm not ready for this. Will I ever be? Just don't want to waste a good career opportunity unless I really know going back to Sydney is the right thing to do. It certainly feels like the easy thing to do!

Re: Back in Blighty
 

I live in Halifax. I suppose a waterfront appt sounds more appealing lol.
You are single (i think)....you have nothing to lose, except less of a wage as you say.
Sorry but the choice is entirely yours and no-one else can decide for you. It's a tough one so good luck and try to stay calm!

Re: Back in Blighty
 

LCT....I know you are young but try and think ahead. What if you meet someone in OZ and get married and have children. What next you probably met someone from OZ so they are not likely to want to return to the UK with you. What about your family in the UK look to the future people getting older and I know its hard to do and that waterfront is enticing but take a look at the bigger picture.

You do not need to be across the world to forget your Ex and move on. The job sounds great not many of them around in this present climate. Sit down and write down all the pro's and con's. Thats what I would tell my daughter.:)

I wish I had done what I am telling you to do.

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Thought you were ''trapped indoors''.......

Re: Back in Blighty
 

Whatever!

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You only live once what is more important your career or lifesyle?

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Why not accept the job and give it a trial. If after a month, it is not right, you could return to Oz.

Re: Back in Blighty
 

Hi LCT

Great post u sound as mixed up as me, but at least I don't have to make a decision right away. I think u should make a list for each place and see which one scores highest.

We are hopefully going back to UK in July for a couple of weeks and I will assess the situation then, I wish I could have best of both worlds - hubbys job here, weather here, houses here, Shops there, house prices there, interest rate there, and location there, family and friends - basically I just wish I could move Aus to UK and keep the climate act basically I want Aus weather and Hubbys Aus Job in Uk, cos weather is all I like about here and hubby wont move back cos of his job........

Keep us posted on what u decide - good luck:fingerscrossed:

Re: Back in Blighty
 

My career completely revolves around 'pro/con' evaluation matrices and weighted scoring on a grand scale. And it certainly has its uses in making objective decisions.

The trouble is that even in my sometimes dry and serious business of what I do, I could (and sometimes do) mount a C-Level case for a subjective view to be taken into account.

A pro and con list will not give you a definitive answer, unless it's approached from a singular focus (ie 'where will I be wealthier' for example). Even a weighted scoresheet cannot accomodate a score for how you 'feel' about a place, as comfort, happiness and an overall sense of belonging are pretty intangible from a numbers point of view.

By all means use a list, but in my opinion and experience it would be only one tool in the decision making process. Your most valuable tool in the subjective side of this is honesty and a view that sees past the short term IMO.

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I think at some times in your life you need to follow the opportunities so if you have better opportunities in UK then stay there - your lifestyle is what you make of it really, no matter where you live. No water? then make a lifestyle which doesnt involve water. You have a few weeks to try out the new job and if you like it, then stay and if you dont like it then go.

It sounds as if you still have baggage in UK with the ex (dont you just want to kill them for b*ggering up your life?:frown:) - would elsewhere in UK be further away from the baggage? What do you see yourself doing in 5 years, 10 years?

It certainly seems like you have a touch of expatitis - that horrible feeling of limbo that nowhere is where you belong. Good luck with sorting it out one way or another.

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Do you own or rent your apt in Oz? Would your Oz employer give you 12 months unpaid leave of absence? There may be other options to help you decide rather than to make what looks like an all or nothing decision (e.g., a 12 month trial return, rent out your Oz apt if you own it).

You seem to have enough serious reservations about returning that you could well end up being a ping-ponger. That's a lot easier if you haven't shipped everything back in a 40-footer, given up your old job, sold your old house, etc. (believe me, I know)

Re: Back in Blighty
 

[QUOTE]Well I've been back in Blighty 2 weeks now.

I feel kind of trapped indoors. The idea of the type of outdoor activities that I have grown used to are not particularly inspiring here.

On another positive note ... I've been offered a job in Halifax (hence the trip) earning practically double what I get in Sydney and with much better prospects. But do I exchange my life in Sydney for a good well paid job in Halifax?

But will I regret it from a career and financial perspective? Or will I regret staying from a fun lifestyle perspective?

QUOTE]





To be honest in my opinion, earning the bucks and creating a better career, whats your goal for doing this ? It is to earn more money and have a better lifestyle I presume ? I used to earn more money in the UK and had more disposable income, but still had a crap lifestyle, that trapped indoors feel you have now !

I gave it all up moved to Australia, I have a little less money but my lifestyle is hugely better, one i couldn't afford in the UK. I would be spending all the hours working to earn enough money to enjoy myself.

From what you say, you will be living to work if you move back to the UK. What kind of life is that. I reckon you will be bored to death within two months.

Obviously it is your decision and everyone prefers one place or the other, if they way the pro's and con's up, but overall your happiness and life fulfilment is most important. It sounds to me like you already know the right answer but need reassurance.

Go one head back to Sydney !!:)

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[QUOTE=Brisben;8136462]How many hours a week do you work now mate?In Oz?The reason I ask is because my OH and I both work 37.5 per week,we're working class folk and have more than enough money between us to have a fab life.We also spend more time outside here than we ever did in Oz.

Re: Back in Blighty
 

Interesting to hear your dilema. I'm possibly about to face a similar pull:

I just got a call back from a potential employer in Nottingham.

The job sounds interesting and pays significantly more than I'm on now (and thats a UK 37hr week with 25 days leave vs AUS 55hr week and 16 days leave). - Potential downside is occasional travel required to NZ - which although sounding exotic and no doubt good for frequent flyer points would get tiring pretty quickly!!

The wife has expressed a desire to live in the UK at least for a while and give it a try - and I'd love to get the girls into UK schools (particularly our youngest who would have to wait 2 more years before starting full time 'prep' in Brisbane but would start full-time school in UK in September)

I've had a look at housing costs in the area and f*&k me I could live in a mansion in the UK (at least in the East Midlands) these days for the rental I'd get on my Brisbane house!

So I'm seriously considering persuing this... The question is what costs am I miscalculating? Is there ANYTHING in the UK (besides petrol) that costs more than it does in Australia?

Nottingham isnt exactly where my family are located - but being a 3 hour drive away is hell of a lot closer than a 26 hour flight!

Any other bad points I'm missing?

Re: Back in Blighty
 

Thanks so much everyone for all your input. Its great to get the views of some other folk who have had similar experiences.

When I try to talk to anyone here in UK about the way I feel about certain things they tend to look at me a bit blankly :).

Dunrovin - I would love to be able to ask work for a year off however I'm still on a month by month contract with them after 2 years of working there. There is always a permanent job just around the corner - its happening in the New Year now apparently. I just have no idea what the job title, salary etc will be. So I guess in that respect if I turn down a great career opportunity here and the permanent job in Sydney never eventuates or isn't what I had hoped for then I might be disappointed to say the least.

However I suspect that deep down a lot of my motivation is income related. I just want to work 9 - 5 and get paid lots of money so I can enjoy life outside of work :thumbsup:.

I see my life in Sydney as being more fun than a life here. At least at this stage in my life. But probably because of the way I've been brought up and the fact that all my family and friends here are married and settled down and quite high achievers, to be seeking "fun" instead of career feels a little irresponsible? And I panic that if I don't get my career back on track in the near future I will never be able to get back into it again in the future ... if I decide I want to.

I rent in Sydney and can't see myself being able to afford a house or even something like a car there in the near future. But here I could get such things almost straight away. Although I do have to admit that not having to worry about career, money, houses etc is quite liberating!

Family - I miss them heaps when I'm in Oz. But lets face it if living here I wouldn't really see them all that much. Maybe once a month for a day or a weekend. Things may change in the future if nieces and nephews come along or as parents get older but I realise I would never be able to commit to anywhere "forever" as I need the freedom of knowing that I can change my mind if I want to. I would worry though about getting back into a well paid career if I had spent too much time having fun!

Isn't a girl supposed to be settled and behaving responsibly and with direction at the grand old age of 34? :o

DadAgain - there are certain areas in Nottinghamshire that are lovely. Transport is more expensive as is eating out I would say. And possibly things like council tax (although I've never had to pay rates in Oz so don't know that much about it). I'm a bit out of touch about life here actually and its only been 3 years.

The middle of winter may not be the best time to relocate even if you do get a real Christmas in the middle of it!

When did life get so complicated ?

Re: Back in Blighty
 

I'm 34 and if I were suddenly 'single' again I would be right back on plane to UK, its easier to meet men there, and there are more of them:p

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Agreed
I also like the idea of seeing family only once a week or so for dinner or a coffee instead of being in each others homes for weeks/month at a time when visiting. I think I've seen more of my Mum in the last 2 years during her visits here and mine to her house (hour for hour), than I have since I lived with her as a child. I love to go back to having my own place and her in her own and meet up. :lol:

Re: Back in Blighty
 

I totally agree and look forward to that too. To have friend and family over for the evening or a weekend is so much better than a 'full on' visit which can be wonderful with the right people but can be a real strain with others. I also found I needed to stop work entirely when visitors came to show them a good time so it always cost a great deal. On the good side I have enjoyed many visits with my mum and lots of friends that have been real quality time together. I also loved showing them what I used to really enjoy about being here. It helped remind me of fonder times.

Re: Back in Blighty
 

[QUOTE=Brisben;8136462]My Oh works longer hours at work here in Aus.........we find life here in Australian expensive and that is because we do...lol...did enjoy eating out....going to our local Pub instead of drinking at home...which most people do here......we enjoy buying quality clothes...that last...and that can be expensive....we enjoy going on holiday overseas to experience different cultures.....even a holiday in Aus is expensive and we have also travelled around Aus...yes we can cut back on all of that as we are not "over the top" kind of people...but then why should we....a friends son went back to Northants for a holiday he also travelled overseas while there and around the U.K which he arranged all of this himself...saved up for nearly 2 years..he said, when back in Aus that he had a fantastic time (as you do on holiday)and that he came back to Aus with an extra suitcase full of things he had bought.....and money left in his wallet which he found amazing as all the brits he knew here said it would cost him a great deal to holiday in the U.k and Europe. Some people will never agree with what is expensive etc...as we all see things differently and that is why I would not just choose where to live mainly on other peoples say so....we all live differently,spend differently..life really is about what will make you happy and you can only really do that by trying "things out" and if it's not right....then hopefully you can move on and find what does..

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Agree totally I am already stressing out about Christmas, I spend the whole time cant wait to see them, then they all arrive and after a few days I am worn out and fed up of trying to please them all, house a mess and all on top of each other, we still have to work etc.. but they are all on holiday. Then I wish they would all bugger off - then they do and I am gutted and feel guilty about wishing they were gone when they were here :blink: Ye I would love to just be able to visit people for the day or the arvo and then be back hom without the feasco of staying in each others houses for weeks at a time - VERY stressful:unsure:
I have 13 for xmas dinner this year and they are all DEMANDING a traditional xmas dinner!!!!!:eek:

Re: Back in Blighty
 

Maybe try roast kangaroo if you can fit it in the oven, that way they won't ask for it ever again! So, is that all family visiting you or have you created a wee Brit community there? Last year I had my gorlfriends over from the UK and it was bliss. It snowed through the night on Xmas Eve so when they woke up there was powdery snow everywhere. It was really a magical Xmas. We have no visitors this year......boo hoo.

Re: Back in Blighty
 

what a good thread :)

Re: Back in Blighty
 

It's been the wettest Novermber on record in some places, especially in the north and west, with very serious fooding in Cumbria, in particular - over 200mm of rain in less than 24 hours and a police officer was drowned trying to rescue people. Bridges were very badly damaged/destroyed in the floods.

That was the bit of this - and now in December the bit of that is frost on some mornings. The Met Office forecasters "promise" the winter in the UK will be "milder than normal" - so with their past forecasting record in mind* the best advice is to stock up on anti freeze and dig out your sledges from the back of the garage.

*In April they forecast a "barbecue summer in the UK". If you like your barbecues in pouring rain under leaden grey skies and in 12C temperatures then that would have been OK for you in June and July. But to be fair August and September were quite dry and sunny in many parts of the UK though (away from western Scotland and Northern Ireland where it continued wet and windy) but not really hot....just warm.

Re: Back in Blighty
 

Ever thought of being a weatherman.

Re: Back in Blighty
 

Laura I would tell them that traditional xmas dinner is out and you are ONLY serving seafood, BBQ stuff and salads but they are more than welcome to check in at a local hotel.

Draw up a rota and delegate cleaning duties - tell them 'I prepared lunch so you guys can clean up'

As for alcohol, do a kitty and ask everyone to chip in. Dont let them stress you out, its your house and not theirs, you are in control and they have to respect that.:ohmy:

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Quite right too, make sure they all take a turn at doing stuff, and don't go paying for everything!

I'm so lucky with Christmas this year I think, I shall just sit here on my own and do whatever I want to do. Several people have asked me to join their families, which is really nice of them but I really am not a Christmassy person and would feel out of place anyway. My mate is working part of it and will have other places to be for the rest of it, so it'll be just me and the scrawny bush turkey that wanders round the garden. Just like being back home - except for the gawd-awful heat :unsure:

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Awful, just caught up with the floods in Cumbria while watching the news for the deaf on the BBC . . . the poor women signing . . . well, she gave up after three attempts at Cockermouth . . .

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HI laura!
First blog post thingy i have ever looked at! Interesting to think you may be returning to UK....great thing to do mind you - gives you a lot of memories about coming here in the first place....back in my day all we had was photos!! Ha ha
Good luck with what ever you decide anyway!
Dan the Plumb
:thumbup:

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Thats really funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rofl::rofl::rofl::ro fl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

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<<snigger>>

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Hi LTC. Well from my experience Sydney is a fantastic city, for about 3-4 years. It is a very transiant place I think, and after a while the party crowd meet partners, settle down, and move to the outer suburbs so they can afford to buy a house. If i had a choice between Sydneys outer subs and anywhere in the UK i would take the UK.

People are more sociable in the UK so it wouldnt take you long to get your cirlce of friends back. You might have a hard time for 6months to a year but think of the cash you can save in that time! Also you can spend your holidays back in Aus or even travel europe for a fraction of the price (and 10 times the culture).
Just my thoughts as I wish I had gone home after 3 years...Ive been here 10 now and miserable!
G

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'People are more sociable in the UK'

thats rubbish ... people are equally sociable in the UK and Aus ... maybe people don't want to socialise with someone who's misearable ...'Ive been here 10 now and miserable! :rofl:

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Bay with all due respect just because GaGa thinks people are more sociable in the UK does'nt mean thats rubbish!I also don't believe GaGa would announce to all and sundry "I've been here 10 yrs and I'm miserable" when out and about!:frown:

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You can't beat a bit of Blighty!

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Compare Britain to where I live in Canada and there is no doubt in my mind that Brit folk are way more sociable and really enjoy their friends. Here it feels a little fake and insincere. It's weird, at home I feel like people really know me and like me, here I think I'm just a warm body filling a space and they can't really see me. Weird.

Anyway, spent a short time in Aus and found it really social but that was a singles city scene. I can imagine the suburbs being different. I hate the suburbs anywhere!