LCT

Well I've been back in Blighty 2 weeks now.

Came over for a wedding and to stay for Christmas to try to decide whether I want to move back here. Am posting a brief update as promised.

Its cold. On a positive note, today is the third day in 2 weeks when the sun has been shining!

I feel like a bit of a stranger in my own land. My family and friends all have lives of their own, that are very different from the life I have created for myself in Australia. And I'm not sure that I want to or can lead a similar sort of life any more.

Everyone I know here is settled down with kids or kids on the way. Everyone I know in Sydney is active and single (like me).

I feel kind of trapped indoors. The idea of the type of outdoor activities that I have grown used to are not particularly inspiring here.

Spent 4 hours driving from Halifax to Derby yesterday. And there are massive queues in all the shops - I never used to notice!

On another positive note ... I've been offered a job in Halifax (hence the trip) earning practically double what I get in Sydney and with much better prospects. But do I exchange my life in Sydney for a good well paid job in Halifax?

One important observation, particularly for the ladies ... the shops are beautiful and things like clothes feel like such good quality for the money . Eg tailored suits selling full price in Next for 65 quid!

I'm feeling pretty mixed up right now and longing to just run away back to my life in Sydney. But will I regret it from a career and financial perspective? Or will I regret staying from a fun lifestyle perspective?

I'm also somewhat haunted here by memories of an ex who ironically was the reason for my move to Oz. In Oz I have created a life of my own without him. Here I would have to do all the hard work all over again.

I don't want to put other people off trying a move back here. I have a tendancy to react badly to life changes so I'm sure other people will be better at adapting than me. And if you're at the same stage of life as your friends and family members then that would be a major bonus!

Confused as usual .

Sorry if this has been a bit all over the place - am rushing as on my way out. Will keep you posted!!

livinginreality

Hi LCT and welcome "home"!It seems to me that you have already moved on from all these people you know.I spent a long long time in Oz(I'm british)and returned to the UK 10 years ago.I have a very happy fullfilled life here.We (this is the reverse to your situation)had contemplated a life back in Oz,my OH got his visa and we validated this year in May.I found the reverse to you.I was quite excited about this validation trip,but once we got back to Oz(I'm from South)I found it all quite depressing.I had left 10 years ago,friends who were very happy ect.This time around they all seemed very unhappy and depressed with life,most cried on my shoulder while I was there.Family seemed quite weird,it was like us walking back into the past.We had moved on but they had not.Just being back in my home town made me remember why I had left.Too many bad memories and yes from an Ex husband as well.I think if you are pretty happy in Sydney,why change that?You mentioned a job offer here,but money is'nt everything.My family and friends can't understand why I won't return,but the answer is simple,I'm happy here so why would I change that?It must be abit depressing to return to the UK at the mo because of the revolting weather,which has been very bad up north.I live on the Wilts/Somerset border and yes its been wet lately but in all the weather is quite ok,and I find I spend more time outside here than I ever did in the 30 years in Oz.I wish you luck.Take a good hard look at all aspects and I'm sure you'll make the right decision.Whatever you decide,it won't be a mistake because you make the right decision at the time.Best of luck and I hope it all works out for you xx

Nu-Shooz

I have found many people give up and move on because friends and family don't seem to be interested anymore in them.
I on the otherhand don't live by anyone elses rules or life-style and choose what I want to do, where i live and how i live it.
I never expected friends/family to sit and wait around for us to decide where we wanted to be. It's great they have their own life's to live..thankgod, wouldn't want the ache of them up my ass 24/7 lol.
But i do see friends and family alot anyway and we are all happy.
What i'm trying to say is..do what you want to do and not what others tell you to'...live where you feel happiest, if that means less wage, then so be it.

Bevm

Good post, LCT. You're just talking things through. When would you have to decide on the job? If possible, just keep being honest.

If you truly love lots of sun etc, you're not going to get it in the UK and no amount of money will compensate. OTOH, you can't judge English weather by November, particularly this one, which I gather has been unusually wet and windy.

It's always a bit of this, a bit of that!

Bev

LCT

Thanks for the replies.

I am under pressure to decide about the job asap. I've told them I need the weekend to decide.

Waterfront apartment in Sydney to Halifax will be a bit of a shock to the system I suspect!

Argh, I feel sick!

Maybe I'm not ready for this. Will I ever be? Just don't want to waste a good career opportunity unless I really know going back to Sydney is the right thing to do. It certainly feels like the easy thing to do!

Nu-Shooz

I live in Halifax. I suppose a waterfront appt sounds more appealing lol.
You are single (i think)....you have nothing to lose, except less of a wage as you say.
Sorry but the choice is entirely yours and no-one else can decide for you. It's a tough one so good luck and try to stay calm!

trottytrue

LCT....I know you are young but try and think ahead. What if you meet someone in OZ and get married and have children. What next you probably met someone from OZ so they are not likely to want to return to the UK with you. What about your family in the UK look to the future people getting older and I know its hard to do and that waterfront is enticing but take a look at the bigger picture.

You do not need to be across the world to forget your Ex and move on. The job sounds great not many of them around in this present climate. Sit down and write down all the pro's and con's. Thats what I would tell my daughter.

I wish I had done what I am telling you to do.

willamos

Thought you were ''trapped indoors''.......

LCT

Whatever!

Stormer999

You only live once what is more important your career or lifesyle?

montgomail

Why not accept the job and give it a trial. If after a month, it is not right, you could return to Oz.

lauralollipop

Hi LCT

Great post u sound as mixed up as me, but at least I don't have to make a decision right away. I think u should make a list for each place and see which one scores highest.

We are hopefully going back to UK in July for a couple of weeks and I will assess the situation then, I wish I could have best of both worlds - hubbys job here, weather here, houses here, Shops there, house prices there, interest rate there, and location there, family and friends - basically I just wish I could move Aus to UK and keep the climate act basically I want Aus weather and Hubbys Aus Job in Uk, cos weather is all I like about here and hubby wont move back cos of his job........

Keep us posted on what u decide - good luck

Tr1boy

My career completely revolves around 'pro/con' evaluation matrices and weighted scoring on a grand scale. And it certainly has its uses in making objective decisions.

The trouble is that even in my sometimes dry and serious business of what I do, I could (and sometimes do) mount a C-Level case for a subjective view to be taken into account.

A pro and con list will not give you a definitive answer, unless it's approached from a singular focus (ie 'where will I be wealthier' for example). Even a weighted scoresheet cannot accomodate a score for how you 'feel' about a place, as comfort, happiness and an overall sense of belonging are pretty intangible from a numbers point of view.

By all means use a list, but in my opinion and experience it would be only one tool in the decision making process. Your most valuable tool in the subjective side of this is honesty and a view that sees past the short term IMO.

quoll

I think at some times in your life you need to follow the opportunities so if you have better opportunities in UK then stay there - your lifestyle is what you make of it really, no matter where you live. No water? then make a lifestyle which doesnt involve water. You have a few weeks to try out the new job and if you like it, then stay and if you dont like it then go.

It sounds as if you still have baggage in UK with the ex (dont you just want to kill them for b*ggering up your life?) - would elsewhere in UK be further away from the baggage? What do you see yourself doing in 5 years, 10 years?

It certainly seems like you have a touch of expatitis - that horrible feeling of limbo that nowhere is where you belong. Good luck with sorting it out one way or another.

dunroving

Do you own or rent your apt in Oz? Would your Oz employer give you 12 months unpaid leave of absence? There may be other options to help you decide rather than to make what looks like an all or nothing decision (e.g., a 12 month trial return, rent out your Oz apt if you own it).

You seem to have enough serious reservations about returning that you could well end up being a ping-ponger. That's a lot easier if you haven't shipped everything back in a 40-footer, given up your old job, sold your old house, etc. (believe me, I know)