Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

It's been good to be back so far but I don't feel I've made many friends. I made more going to Oz. finding it hard to fit in. Feels like I'm trying to mould us all into uk ways which isn't feeling right.

Feeling slightly dejected.

Any thoughts

Poppetuk

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

What part of the UK are you living in?
Have you tried this site? It's great for whatever hobbies or interests you have.
Just type in your city or town and what you are interested in...and I'm sure you'll be able to find some activities that might help with finding friends. I went ahead and typed in London just as an example...

http://london.meetup.com/cities/gb/17/london/

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

Another consideration for meeting (normal people who could become) friends in London: http://london.citysocialising.com/home.html

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

Anywhere where we lived overseas we made friends very quickly as we all tended to have something in common, mainly we had moved to a new country. While they were friends for the main it was very transient and people moved on when either they moved away or others came from their old countries, areas etc. Now we are back in the UK it is a bit harder to make newer friends if you have moved to a new area, have older children or none as it is a bit easier at times to meet friends through children, I have found the new friends I have made (this has not happened overnight)are "solid" compared to the many we made in Aus and other overseas countries we have lived, not being unkind. Just give it time, volunteer is a good way of meeting people, join a sports club (can be anything from dancing to walking etc) you have to be "true" to yourself and do what you want to do rather than always fitting in just to fit so to speak.
Good luck and I am sure before you know it you will have a long list of friends.

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

I think the older you get the harder it is to find those friendships which endure. I certainly didnt have any in Australia and now that I am back in UK I am not actually trying that hard - if it happens it happens. I do have a load of friends in UK from before I left and we are still on the same wavelength and when we get together its as if we have never been apart. I dont know if Australia has soured me but I almost dont expect to make lifelong friends any more. I do hope you can find someone you can gel with - perhaps try and connect with people with similar interests and see how you go (I can recommend knitting, if you are a knitter, there are that many groups going on in UK you can go to one every day if you are keen LOL)

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

Quoll you really give Australians a bad rap,you generalize,I have many true and like minded Aussie friends and also some good UK friends.If you look down on Australians you will hardly make friends very easy.

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

Well, arent you the lucky one!

I dont look down on Australians and I have many acquaintances but (and I know that I am not alone here) they dont stick beyond the circumstances of acquaintanceship - be that work, child's development, interest group etc. I am, in fact, an extremely friendly person but I have been stung too many times by Aussies who have been just out for what they could get out of a friendship - all take and not much give. Pretty much all my "Aussie" friends are, in fact, expat Poms and most of them are dead jealous that I have been able to leave and they havent. Even so, they havent stuck as much as I thought they might (probably because they are jealous of what I now have!) even though they knew I was doing it tough here. My long standing Pom friends couldnt have been more supportive even though some live at the other end of the country!

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

Totally agree with this part. It's very easy to strike up conversations with other parents of young children. Everyone is eager to talk about how their child eats, sleeps, what sports they play, which is all very nice. But what I have found is that when those topics of conversation have been exhausted there isn't much else to talk about. Majority of people I have met here are friendly to a point, but difficult to have a deeper friendship. That's why I love chatting with my UK friends. We talk about our kids for a while but then there is so much more as we have a history. Been here 10 years and still don't have a real close friend, despite socializing with neighbours and work colleagues. I'm sure there are lots of expats out there with positive experiences though.

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

To the OP
I hope you able to settle soon and make some great friends. It must be hard. I think that you are very brave to make the move back home (wish I could do it)

Hope everything works out for you:thumbsup:

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

Just a matter of interest, I have been here in Canada 11 years and have the same problem, no real depth of friendship, my two only friends are ex-pats!
Just came back from England and saw friends there and slotted back into conversations as if I was never away, can't beat that kind of friendship!

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

No I have found the same with English friends and Aussie friends some are there for the long haul some aren't.If you dwell on the old country all the time you will bore people.When we move back to the UK I might take ages to make new friends,I know that but I won't put down your fellow countrymen and criticize everything, because I am sure that won't be a popular choice;(

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

I think you might be a touch defensive and over-sensitive. It seemed to be that Quoll was just sharing her experiences as a way of being supportive to someone struggling. Just because they're not the same as yours, that doesn't make them a personal attack.

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

I have read loads of Quolls posts over the years and always manages to put the boot in to Australians?Yes she was being supportive to the OP.I wasn't being over sensitive just fed up of putting all Australians in one basket.I would like to think my friends of over 30 years aren't fair weathered friends.

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

And you know they're not. Her experiences don't detract from yours.

Re: Back 20 months and just starting to struggle.
 

You have to remember this is Britishexpats site and their own views on living in other countries. As you are an Australian you may not like those views and you probably aren't alone in that as there other foreign nationals who choose to read this site too and then get upset. i.e. the US citizen who lives in the UK and comes on this list, then goes when something is said about Americans and then comes back to the list and then goes when something is said about Americans...........................:)

It's a case of growing a thick skin or just stick to reading the Australian sites.

To the OP, as others have said, join some clubs to find people with the same interests as you.