Away For 10 Years
 

This is my first post and have just joined today:) I`ve been living outside the UK in Spain for over 10 years now and over the last couple of years have really become homesick even to the point of depression. I originally came to Spain with my girlfriend at the time and she was keen from the word go whereas i wasn`t. Anyway after a couple of years being here we split up and she went back to the UK. I stayed and i still don`t know why i did it:confused: Eventually i met a spanish woman and thanks to her, over the years i got accustomed to living here and to be honest quite quickly fitted into the spanish lifestyle and have even learnt the language to quite a high level which i know most brits don`t do and have developed quite a lot of spanish habits both good and bad. Despite all that i was never able to make true spanish friends (unless they were from her social group) but was lucky enough to find a good job here and that was the reason that i stayed and decided to make a good go of it. The money was good and i also did well in the buying and selling my own property here. I convinced myself that the sunny med lifestyle was the life to lead but deep down my heart always missed the greeness and rain of the UK along with my friends. I always thought that this would be a passing phase and just end up staying here in Spain. Anyway over the last 12 months things have greatly changed I am now single again but without a job but have been able to sell my house at a great price even in this depressed housing market. I know this is my window to get back to the UK but for some strange reason i have feelings of being scared not sure why, i guess i don`t want to make an expensive mistake and move to the wrong area. I look at the UK papers and the news and its all doom and gloom, i know its all media nonsense but it doesn`t help me feel confident. I speak to my friends in the UK who all say i`m mad to move back to the UK and its now become a terrible crime riden expensive place to live and according to them its like hell on earth. These friends have never ever lived abroad so they don`t know what its like, I tell them things are bad here as well but they just don`t seem to believeme and think i`m making it up. I never thought much about the phrase HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS but i now know its so true and there is no way that i can stay living in Spain, I`m so bored out of my mind, no friends or work here now, i`m single, i now hate the warm climate, i dislike the way they do things here but the worst is when i wake up in the morning. I open my eyes and cannot believe how i`ve been here for over 10 YEARS how did i let this happen:confused: quite often when i take a siesta in the afternoon as i`m not working now i often dream about the UK, i know this must sound sad but dream about it i do. I wake up and feel depressed that here i am living a life i now hate. I just miss the UK so much even with its grey and overcast skies.

Anyway i`ve now decided to stop being depressed and have set out a do or die plan to move back to the UK asap as there is nothing really to keep me here and hopefully i aim to be there after christmas but as i said i do feel tense about going back to a country that i won`t have a job in, i know has probably changed in over 10 years but luckily i have a decent budget to buy a property and be mortgage free so that is one plus point and i don`t have anybody or dependents to support.

Despite this long maybe boring story, would love to know if any others have been in a similiar situation as me?

My next question is where to move back to but i think its better to start a new post for that.

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

I started off in Spain around 20 years ago, and for the first eight years it was a semi-permanent situation, with six months here, six months back in the UK, and my personal life was also on a semi-permanent level for a lot of the time. But every time I went back to the UK, I tried really hard to forget Spain, but found that I couldn’t. The times in Spain became longer, and 12 years ago I came over permanently, with a new partner, admittedly.

I know all about the homesickness you describe, I still have it at times, and I dream of those green fields, but they’re mythical, I come from London.

What I did find on a longer trip home, around four years ago, was that the familiar place that I knew, was no longer familiar. All the streets and houses were still there, I still had some friends and family here, but it wasn’t what I had expected.

I remember walking along such a familiar street when I suddenly felt the sun on my back and thought I could smell Spain. I was looking around for the mountain I used to climb, only a small one, and felt the urgent need for an Americano in the company of Spanish people shouting their heads off. And I was walking along in Romford.

I came back to Spain as soon as I could.

After such a long time in Spain, why burn your bridges? Go back to the UK, don’t buy anything permanent to start with, look for a job, look for a girlfriend, have a good look around and walk some green fields. Anything can happen.

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

Thanks for the response,

I`m also from London south London to be exact and to be honest there may not have been green fields were i lived but there were some great parks and green spaces and the countryside of kent and surrey were always close by.

All the things you say about missing Spain may well kick in as well as there are some things i really like about the country and would certainly miss such as the food and cultural stuff, i`m even wondering how i will adapt to the UK again after being away for so long. Problem is i have no close family in the UK anymore and most friends are spread out in different places and i have no work to attract me to any particular place. London or outskirts are too expensive for me to think about buying in so most parts of the UK will be considered. I don`t really want to think about renting as i want to make a firm commitment but haven`t ruled it out.

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

I`m guessing that you`re a Clash fan?

I think the feelings of alienation, that exist when somebody is away from their culture for any length of time can be very strong. If I were in your position, I`d cut out of Spain and go back to the UK and follow what your heart tells you to do. If you don`t like it, you can always come back or move elsewhere, because you sound like a free single person who can now make your own destiny as it were. I think it`s great that you are making a plan and positivity in these circumstances are your best ally. By the way, if you`re feeling bored stick on "Sandinista" its a sprawling triple album that will certainly kill time:lol:

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

I agree with Jules, I think that you need to go back, even if it is only temporary.
Of course it is scary, it is a big move & in many respects, you will be starting over but you are clearly not happy where you are, so why stay?
With regards to where to move to, I would be considering where you are most likely to find work first & foremost or do you have a job that you can get work most places?
We moved back to the UK from the Virgin islands in 2002, having moved there from London. However, we decided that London was no longer for us & ended up on the Wilts/Dorset borders...absolutely beautiful countryside & lots of green fields;) Somewhere to consider perhaps?
Just because you decide to move back to the UK, doesn't mean that it has to be forever, you are allowed to change your mind & go in a different direction, whatever you want, the world is your oyster! Just don't stay being miserable somewhere, life is too short.
Good luck:fingerscrossed:

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

I use to be a clash fan a long long time ago and used the name as it was the first thing that entered my head. I agree with most of what you have said and feel better after making a plan. I spend most of my days now getting as much info as i can in planning to move back.

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

Do what your heart tells you otherwise you will always be wondering "what if"- you are still young and fancy free!!

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

Find yourself a quiet spot somewhere and ask yourself "what do i want?" then just listen.. your answer will come.. it did for me.. I returned to the UK a few days ago with little in the way of savings, and as soon as I touched down a huge Garfield grin spread across my face.. it really felt right being back..

Just follow your heart, it'll guide you

Good luck :fingerscrossed:

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

same position as you ,all the same reasons too . But im in aussie ,im going back to the uk . Whats the worst that can happen , yep a two and half hour flight back to spain , i doesnt matter .

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

Thanks this is what i hoping for as well.

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

Never been to aussie but always wanted to go. i`ve been reading on here a lot now at it does surprise me that a lot of people seem to return from there but from the looks of it there must be a lot of brits there as well.

I think spain is great for holidays and good for retirees but i miss the more hectic lifestyle of the UK. I never thought i`d ever say that

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

It's interesting the things we sometimes find we miss once we're in a different environment isn't it :) I feel the same about Australia that you do about Spain. Great as a holiday destination but never felt like "home" for me. I'm really glad I experienced it though. :D

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

Can I ask where it was you touched down???

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

Heathrow:confused:

Re: Away For 10 Years
 

Sorry, hadn't read your very informative post on the other thread, so wasn't sure where you were, London Heathrow, Gatwick, Manchester, Scotland, etc.