penguinsix

So I'm in the middle of a holiday back home and I've yet to have a free day to myself. Everyone wants us to visit or have lunch (even random friends who didn't have much time for us when we lived here).

It's got us thinking "next time" we're going to come home and not tell anyone at least for a week so we can do some shopping and other bits around the house without any pressure.

Anyone tried something similar?

Pulaski

We've not tried it, but we have talked about doing it.

robin1234

We practice SDI (selective dissemination of information.) Just tell my sister and the one or two friends that we actually intend to visit on that occasion. Interesting, we have that selective option because we don't use Facebook or other social media platform; I suppose for people who use Facebook, everyone they know knows what they are doing if the announce it..

paddingtongreen

The last time we went, we rented a place in the Blackdown Hills and told the family where we would be if they wanted to see us.

Yorkieabroad

I went back in February for my younger sisters wedding. Only my older sister knew I was going. It was good...apart from the surprise aspect for my younger sis, I was only there for an extended weekend, so had absolutely no pressure at all to do "duty" visits and the like. The family that mattered were all there. I gave up chasing pseudo friends round the country a few years back, and the friends that are friends understood why I didn't tell them.
I don't do Facebook (see earlier comment ref pseudo friends!) so no problems there!

SultanOfSwing

We get left alone (well we've only been back once so it's not an exact science). My ma, who we stay with, organised a party where we can see everyone at once, which worked perfectly and we'll stick to that format for future trips. For the rest of the time we just go off and do our own thing.

joto

I wish we could do that. We stay with FIL, which is good, but he has arranged or otherwise guilt tripped us into seeing people we would rather see in our own time or not at all.

ChocolateBabz

Yes this exactly, have not been back since Thanksgiving 2011 and have no hankering to do so any time soon. As a caveat the people we would like to see have visited us which probably knocked out any desire for a trip home.

Jan Alaska

With so little vacation time available we tend to think of it as our vacation first visiting family / friends second, we catch up with the kids for a day here or there and then head off to do our own thing.
Next trip over is planned for June next year, we will be staying a week in the west country then off to Italy for the rest of our stay, so far we've made no plans to visit family at all.

Uncle_Bob

i just recently got back from a 2 week vacation the UK. The day i landed the heat wave started (1st July) i couldn't believe my luck i was actually down the beach on my first day back. Days of perfect beach weather was to follow

But unfortunately i found out that my dad had made plans for my vacation without me knowing
My kids who had just left the Arizona desert heat just wanted to be at the seaside. But instead we were all crammed in a car and spent days going up and down the country to visit relatives and even my parents friends. 90% of whom would never spend $7000 on a vacation and then think of visiting me. But according to my parents it’s what family do, so i have to use up half my vacation time seeing distant relatives, some of which i didn’t see every year while i was living in the UK.

Next time i will go back for one week and just tell my dad we are not doing all that visiting if he tries the same thing, if anyone wants to see us they can come and visit. Next time I will plan my own vacation. Because it feels like i need a vacation to get over the England one I just had

SultanOfSwing

Has anyone tried telling all these people to **** off out of it?

I am obviously lucky in that we get left alone but I'd tell my ma to do one if she tried to muscle in on our holiday, beyond the usual six loaves of sandwiches in the fridge and half of the M&S freezer dessert section on the go

sime303

With limited amounts of vacation time over the years all of it has been used on trips back to England when we were able to. Last November, my wife and I used some money and went on a weeks cruise. I could tell when I talked to my parents on the phone that they were not impressed with this at all. My mother especially talked to me in a way to suggest that if I shouldn't have gone on a cruise but spent the money on a plane ticket to go home again.

When I am in England it doesn't feel like a holiday at all. All my family want to do is argue with each other and myself. We had a great time on the cruise and we want to go on another cruise, and I recently told my mother of our plans and this time there was an obvious sense from her that we shouldn't be doing this and should go back to England instead.

Since 2001 this was truly the first holiday we had taken for us and we want to do it again. I feel awful when I talk to my family and they know I won't be going there. They take holidays to different places without us all the time but they don't see this as the same thing.

Am I wrong in feeling guilty about not returning to England every chance I get?

SultanOfSwing

Not in the least. Unless you want to go to England on any given holiday, you should go wherever else it is you prefer and sod anyone who tries to make you feel bad about it.

sime303

That's pretty much how I see it too. Don't always feel that way though.

SultanOfSwing

I suppose not. I sometimes take it for granted how lucky I am that my lot usually does a good job of keeping their nose out.