pommiesheila

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Shiralee
I agree entirely that you can never really "go back"

Shiralee - try not to think of it as "going back" - that suggests negativity. Look upon it as "returning" - you have done something which many `000s of people just haven`t got the guts to do themselves. You and your family will be different people for your experience here.

I know exactly where you are coming from - personally I haven`t even found the "buzz" in Australia - you were lucky you did!!!

I have been here nearly a year now, and have not yet met one single person with whom I could have a serious, indepth discussion about anything worthwhile.

We are seriously considering "moving on" - whether that may be a return to England, or perhaps somewhere else in Europe remains to be decided - but I know that I wouldn`t want to spend much more of my life here.

We have all heard about the "Ping Pong Poms" - those who don`t like it here, move back, don`t like it there, move back out here etc. etc. but for me, the overriding plus factor is that our families will be within an hour or two`s travel (even if it is a plane ride from France or Spain!) rather than a 2 day hike across the world at enormous expense.

Good luck whatever you do.

pankala

In very, very generalised terms, Australia is deeply brooding mute, almost sullen, space. Aussies are adapted to expect more space between themselves and others than do people adapted to densely populated regions.

Clearly, there's more variation between individuals than between peoples but if you are extraverted (need input from others) rather than introverted (happy with your own company and thoughts) then for you Europe may be a better choice than Australia.

Craving a spirited opinionated conversation implies you are either ready to adopt someone else's opinion as your own or would have someone else adopt your opinion as their own. This is vaguely un-Australian - each to their ownsome.

Christian S

My family and I returned to the UK after over 2 years in Perth WA 2 months ago and we are very VERY happy to be back home, It's like someone else here said we thought the grass would be greener but we had to travel to the other side of the world only to realize we had everything we needed right here, it was a very expensive mistake but we will never take England for granted again, boy oh boy did i run the UK down before i left thinking Oz was going to so damn wonderful, Just don't burn those bridges you never know when you'll want to cross them again...

Christian

Kath

Hi Christian

I remember your post a few months ago saying you were returning to the UK. I'm glad you feel happy to be home. How are your children adapting back? Is there anything your miss about Perth? Did you return to the same area?

We have been in Perth 8 months now and I do feel more settled here BUT... I'm thinking of our time here as a 2-3 year working holiday rather than long term stay so I'm now enjoying the experience more.

Shiralee

Good point Pankala.
Although I certainly wouldn't class myself as extroverted (don't think I'd have survived ten years in Oz had I not been happy with my own company and thoughts, five of which have been at home with two small children - enough to test even the most diehard recluses among us), I do need input from others. This input from others helps satisfy a need to learn about people and places and shape the way I look at life. Although Australians are friendly they are not, and I'm generalising somewhat here, as multi-layered as Europeans. Once you get past the pleasantries then there often seems to be a blank slate. Everyone has their stories to tell but Australians seem to lack the confidence to tell them and reveal anything of themselves, I don't mean this as derogatory but am merely acknowledging our differences. Perhaps we Brits give too much away but that's how we learn about others and gain different perspectives to shape our opinions and viewpoints. I don't enjoy a debate to impose my opinion on anyone, rather as a means of gleaning more information to give me a more balanced outlook.

I'm rambling here but I have been grappling with this difference in cultures and attempting to pinpoint what it is that makes it so hard to really connect with Australians but it most probably is the sheer size of the country. In their defence Australians have a simple, almost naive, look on life that makes them very trusting/trust-worthy, I haven't come across a mean-spirited Australian in the decade I've been here but am ashamed to know many from my own neck-of-the-woods.

pankala

A good ramble.

Reading your posts in this thread more leisurely, I can not help but think that you are a bit of a rare breed in any culture, a thinking, perceptive person. That rarity might make it more difficult for you to find people you find stimulating.

Understanding what makes you tick might help you recognise and find others who would make you tick faster.

I'm not "into" psychological stuff much but I think Carl Jong was not totally out of his tree. Have a look at:
http://www.typelogic.com/intp.html

I'm INTJ. An even rarer breed and one which few others can understand. I found seeing myself from this external perspective instructive.

Herman

I have done the Carl Jong tests twice and both times came out as an ENTP. I find it frustrating here in Australia that I am more than happy to tell people what I honestly think, what I feel and I am extremely open and honest about my life. Yet here I can not think of one occasion where an Australian has confided in me (or others). They keep everything important close to their chests. An example is my returning to the UK - I have been extremely open and honest to "friends" at work about that and the reasons why. Yet I discovered a couple of weeks ago through an English colleague back home that one of my Australian colleagues here, who I regarded as a real friend outside of work, has arranged a 2 year secondment to London. He has never mentioned this to me or anyone else at work. This has happened time and time again here and I just can not understand it - Aussies are so possessive about their little secrets!

pankala

I wonder if this particular instance was not a straight forward case of not wanting to let anyone else know of and get the posting? Poker in a word.

The Aussie workplace has become much more competitive of late.

Shiralee

Ditto Pankala. I too am an INTJ but am in denial!
I've done this test on a few occasions (including today) but always felt that I was much more suited to the profile of an INTP. My background is in chemistry and I've spent my working life in laboratories but always felt like a bogus scientist, in complete awe of my peers who seemed to have much more analytical brains than I. Although I loved the precision and orderlieness of chemistry I could never think outside the square when it came to scientific problem-solving - I much prefer the art of language to the art of science. My husband, an INFJ cousin of ours, believes me to be an undoubted INTJ so make of that what you will. Personally I think there was a glitch in Carl's system!

pankala

Well, you seem fairly perceptive to me. Perhaps, as you say, just not quite enough to perceive what others can not but that is a very rare, chancy gift and an occasionally "awesome" one too.

My niece (bio-chemist) also has trouble thinking outside the square yet is a competent enough, if unspectacular, scientist like her mother (my brother's ex-wife).

I think you have to be a little "funny", according to popular conception, to think outside the square. Basically, its an intellectual form of risk taking.

Analytical skills are useful in science but no substitute for the intuitive "funny" creation of novel ideas upon which analytical skills can bear down.

Brain storming, that is taking a risk on blurting out silly rubbish, is a common technique for bringing suppressed perceptions to the surface. Best if all parties announce a truce on putting down the silly blurtings before the brain storming begins.

Now here's a silly blurt: perhaps encouraging brain storming amongst your colleagues might result in some surprising meetings of minds which you would find particularly satisfying? You might even make a breakthrough that will astound even you.

daisymoll

I think people who haved moved abroad and are returning may have a better appreciation of the Uk and all it has to offer. Now that I am living abroad I realise that I expected this new place to be some kind of paradise that would be way better than everything in the UK. The reality is very different though.

I would love to live in the UK again, if only there weren't so many people and the house prices weren't so expensive and the weather wasn't so rubbish and the goverment didn't seem to support immigrants more thant the people who live there.

If I ever did go back I wouldn't view it a s a failure, rather as an experience that makes me appreciate everything good about the UK.

Interested

Oh I'm ENFP!!

Herman

Good point and very true. Its also good, if you can, to experience the UK through the eyes of someone who is new to the country. I have South African and Australian friends in the UK and my wife is Czech and had never been to the UK before me. The things I here from the people about what they love about living there are refreshing after hearing the endless, usually weather or traffic related, moaning of my British mates!!! You've got to go elsewhere to get a better perspective.
I think market forces will address your house price issue. The government is starting to address the illegal immigrants issue. Global warming will apparently address the weather issue. Low birth rates and allowing building on green belt will address the crowding issue. Come back in 100 years and I'm sure everything will be perfect!

muppetking

A good Kiwi friend has moved to London and is loving it. I don't hear any moans from him but rather an appreciation of being able to fly to Rome for 99p each way!

dotty

I dont think you appreciate the UK till you have lived in OZ. Its so easy to run down the Uk and Yes it has plenty of problems. However it has so so much to offer that you cannot get in OZ.

I have been back twice in 3 months, I expected (mainly from this website) to be mugged raped and robbed on every corner, cold unfriendly people. I actually found most very happy in the UK, and doing so well compared to here. Most peoples lifes were far more full and interesting and thats for me.

A lot of people emigrate to Aus in what i call "2 week holiday mode" they emmigrate on the basis of Sun, beaches and generally lying about. Of course how the heck are you going to fill your brain space with that 52 weeks.

Lots of silly mistakes are made saying "Oh its only 24 hours on a plane, overlooking how much that will cost the average family. Loving the sun aspect till realising the sun is a nightmare here, a nightmare of slathering on white grease every time you go outside.

And of course all the rellies will visit you, then you see that money and the 24 hour flight put most off after the first trip.

I went back twice as simply the first time I thought I must have overlooked some of the bad at the expense of having a wonderful time with my family. But no the second time I found even more I liked and I see the problems but they are compensated for by issues like my family.

One comment I always love is how wonderful it will be to have a big house here, sure they are big, big to clean, big to mow, big to repair and very big to fill with no family around.

For every me there is a person who will love Aus, but I found it dull, dated, incredibly boring, isolated, expensive compared to the wages and a very long way from anywhere.

Sure, I will hate the UK sometimes, sure it has problems, but it is alive and thats me, I should have known that spending an hour on the beach a week & cheap sausages was not going to keep a Londoner amsused. I'm 38 not 68, I want some LIFE.

Thats me, it may not be you, and we all can only find out by trying it. I suspect from all the posters who never come back on the board when they arrive that I may not be the only one who was disillusioned either. Thats Life you cant succeed if you dont try it. Now guess what its Sunday night and we are off to a BBQ