2passports

Has anyone out there left a perfectly nice place, nice life to return to the UK? I have been in the US for 21 years, Washington, DC, my husband's hometown. For the past few years I have been thinking more and more about returning, although I don't have any close family in the UK. I think I'm just homesick in general. After all these years, I still feel more at home with Brit people and culture. Also, husband's parents have now both passed away, so we have no real ties to hold us here. BUT we have a nice little house, nice life. I have had people tell me I'd be crazy to go back. I know it would be disruptive and expensive to move. I just don't want to have regrets.

Gabgoeshome

This is a bit like us ,nothing SO bad we just want to go back to the UK .

It is a cute, cozy life here in this town ,but just not us ,

We do however , have some problems with family and some aspects of the culture - so that being said we will return to the UK when we sell up !

I think I am crazy sometimes also ,its difficult to start over ...but having done it once -I know we can do it again

Good luck ...I know where you are coming from .

quoll

Not in the least bit crazy. I think there is something about growing old and an inbuilt need to end your days in a place that is yours, that you belong in (not that you are old or ending your days of course!). Like you, we have a good life in a nice place with our own home but it is lacking that certain something which makes my life whole - almost like 'gee, this has been a great holiday but now it is time to go "home"'. If you have nothing to lose then go for it I reckon (if you have a husband who will go with you, of course!). You could go back for a visit just to check, you will know if it is the right thing to do - if your heart soars when you land at grimy old Heathrow and it feels like someone is wrenching it out when you have to leave.

sallysimmons

We've been away the same amount of time and I feel it's time to go home too. As others have said, I think it's natural as you get older.

Beedubya

Oh you would only be about as crazy as the people that hang around this Moving Back To The Uk thread..........maybe we are all mad.

Mummy in the foothills

We probably are

confusedenglishrose

Not crazy as others have said just mad! Beware of what you wish for. I am here on a 3 month look from the US after 15 + years away, and wouldn't you know it I am about to be offered a job. Why I could not just have left alone and returned to anxiety and blissful ignorance I do not know

Clearly I am going to have to make some big decisions very soon.

Homesickness is a terrible thing. When you are there in your ex pat country it gnaws at you despite whatever beauty surrounds you. The best example I can give was provided by another poster on one of my threads. Since I have been back the UK it feels like a comfortable pair of slippers, and I hate slippers! Everything is so right and familiar. I know I will be giving up things, starting afresh all those things, upon my return but the feeling of everything being just right outweighs all that.

I just returned from London this weekend where walking and driving around streets was a pleasure in my opinion. The buildings, beauty, and cohesiveness of the city was frankly inspiring. And I was not just in the nice areas. In fact Tooting was part of the best experience.

Compare my visits to hometown USA - DC or any of the other big cities and the presence is not the same. Personally speaking I am always walking with one eye over my shoulder in any USA city, it sounds paranoid but is something that I have always had with me.

I say go ahead, roll the dice. But beware of what you wish for because the first decision. Do I want to move back is the easiest

And as I rationalize it. You can always move back

salgb

I think it's confusing for our brains to be 'giving up' a seemingly idyllic lifestyle, move 3,000+ miles to a country that a lot of the older population will tell you 'is going to the dogs'! I moved back last year (Sept) after 23 years in the US, (CA). I sold a wonderful little home and left the sunny climate and easy laid back lifestyle. I experienced a huge culture shock, and really missed my friends in CA. - So much so, that after 5 months I moved back to CA! However, 9 months later, and I have come full circle again (in my thoughts). And I now feel I'm better prepared to make the move a success. My head is telling me I'm nuts! But my heart keeps whispering 'it's where you belong'.
Life is definitely different over there. And even if its more structured (than CA), and buildings aren't are new and well cared for, there's a wonderful feeling of unity when you're out and about, (barring the student protests). I would agree with an earlier post - it's like wearing a comfy pair of slippers.
I have a friend who did the same thing - after 28 years in CA moved to Torquay, UK. Stayed 12 months came back. Stayed 2 years and moved back. She is now happily living in Portugal.
So good luck to you, and give it time, it will all work out for the best.

sallysimmons

I think this is what ties us in knots - the concrete every day stuff. I live in a nice little town. My house is lovely ... probably nicer than I could afford in the UK. The sun shines most of the time even when it's cold. I can zip into Manhattan any time I want. I'm far from rich but I am fortunate enough to be comfortable. Perfect, right? Why give all that up to move back and start again?

But it's not home and my friends and family are not here. And as I've grown older (wiser?) I've realized that's what counts for me.

2passports

"I sold a wonderful little home and left the sunny climate and easy laid back lifestyle. I experienced a huge culture shock, and really missed my friends in CA. - So much so, that after 5 months I moved back to CA! However, 9 months later, and I have come full circle again (in my thoughts). And I now feel I'm better prepared to make the move a success." (sorry, I was trying to quote from a previous poster---not sure how to do that with the nice little box around it)

Oh my goodness, I think if I changed my mind like that my husband would curl up in a ball and weep!! We have just spent the past year making our sad liitle house halfway decent. It's been a lot of money and too much effort. That's why I feel if we do decide to go back (he is willing to give it a try, but I don't think he would have come up with the idea by himself), I have to be sure. But after being away for a couple of decades, I know that part of me has become a different person. I'll always be British, but I have a broader, more international perspective from living away. I suppose what I'm hearing from everyone is that there is inevitably a period of trial and error and a real leap of faith. In the end, a nice house and sunshine (although this summer in DC made me really appreciate the great British summer) can't compete with the feeling that you are with your "tribe."

confusedenglishrose

It is very difficult. I am potentially returning from the San Diego, CA area. Like you beautiful sunshine and for most of the year. But that sense of not quite ever really belonging has been with me for over 15 years. No matter how hard I have tried. I deliberately avoided the route of an expat abroad mixing with other expats etc just to try and melt into the surroundings.

Ultlmately that great quote about two different places with a common language... sums up the issue. The USA is greatly different, as a place to live for Brits. A truly is a foreign country. And not a very forgiving one.

It is a personal decision for all. I arrived there not kicking and screaming but I certainly was not looking to escape the UK. Having built a successful career I am know looking at throwing it in to start again in the UK. Crazy? Sometimes I think so but still I want to try. I cannot shake the feeling that it will work out for the best, why is that?

Beedubya

How long do you have to give them a decision on the job and is it a decent job?

Lothianlad

Whatever anyone decides to do about moving back here to the United Kingdom for whatever reason I would suggest they do not do so at least until the Spring eventually arrives on these icy shores.....if it all turns out as bad as forecast it could inflict quite a lot of harm on the UK economy as we in this country are ****ing cr*p when it comes to coping with heavy snow and ice, as has been proved already since winter took a grip much earlier than usual this year - in November.

But I do think that the idea of skiing to work instead of driving could be quite a lot of fun.......driving has been an absolute nightmare so far.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ing-MONTH.html

confusedenglishrose

I think you may be being a little tongue in cheek. However, my experience in the last few weeks is best summed up with a phrase I usually reserve for my American friends. In all my years working in the USA I have always said that the Yanks talk a good job of work. As in they like, love to talk about their work when in actual fact they could accomplish far more with much less time. In the same way the last few weeks have seen the media go into a frenzy over snow. I do not deny there have been areas heavily hit, that is obvious. However, in my little rented Spanish Porche = a Seat Ibiza. I have successfully negotiated without incident the major motorways from Newcastle London, Bath to Norwich region, covering 1700 miles in two weeks. Without delay or traffic. Call me lucky? Maybe but I think the media have certainly talked a good job of snow

BEVS

I can relate to that.