Grayling

Exactly

Grayling

My boys (who are in their 30's) have done OK although one now lives in Australia.

The other had to finance himself through an Msc...he did not moan about it...he got on with it and is now doing OK.

dunroving

Getting back to the point of the thread, I think the following apply to a lot of people:

Fear of growing old and sick in a foreign country.

Missing familiy and friends.

Missing their home culture.

Realization that their adopted country has as many faults as the UK.

Other person-specific reasons (they never intended to move permanently in the first place, they divorced their foreign-born spouse, they've made their fortune and want to retire in the UK, sick parents in the UK need their help, etc.)

It really, really is an individual thing and in the end although people's opinions on here can help, you never really know whether it will work for you unless you try it because the specifics of your situation are not the same as others.

kiwi_child

Very good point. Also, people react/respond differently to others in a similar situation (and also perceive things differently),depending on their personal histories.

Gray C

Do you think the culture thing is an issue? By that I mean do you think that you can really be accepted by the natives of your chosen country, even if you work hard to integrate.

I have heard about several immigrants who are now returning because they do not feel that they "belong"

dunroving

Yes, I think you can assimilate into a different culture (accept it, and be accepted by it), but it's easier if you are younger, open to assimilating, and if the culture is similar to the UK (e.g., USA, Oz, Canada, rather than, say, Middle East or non-English speaking countries).

I definitely felt accepted when I lived in the States, but maybe that's partly because the States was built on assimilating foreigners.

kiwi_child

Well I can only speak from my own experiences, but in general I have found Australians a very hard bunch to mix with and make/develop new friendships that actually go past more than a superficial level. I have also noted that others have equally found this to be the case.

Not feeling a 'sense of belonging' is a very disconcerting feeling. It is always ticking away in the background, and I think for a reason. It is telling us that where we are just isn't the right place for us. We can ignore it for so long, but eventually it will confront us and make us take action.

We need more than nice houses in good areas, big cars and pools. We need to connect with other human beings on a meaningful level. That level of interaction I just haven't found in OZ. I found it though, in my native NZ and when I was in the UK.

I'm not necessarily talking about the D&M's that 2 close friends share, but just the simple ability to genuinely be interested in and relax with others without mind games, agendas or other bullshit scenarios. Authenticity is a word that springs to mind... the ability to be open, relaxed, and yourself with others, and sadly I have seen little of that in Australia. Theirs always an agenda here, always a strategy of controlling the situation so nothing of depth is shared. Kinda sad I think.

DrWho

Quite so...

tony_russell

are you capable of any independant thought or do you just agree with everything grayling says?

DrWho

Perfectly capable, thank you, as you well know from my replies to some of your soporific postings in other threads...

tony_russell

yea yea yea bore off

Rompers

Why do you want to move? Some countries have higher taxes than the UK, some lower, some are colder, some warmer, some have an relaxed attitude to work, some a brutally harder one; it depends on where you are emigrating to.

Wherever you go, you cannot escape your national roots and this may mean you find your adopted home strange (at least initially), have difficulty making real friends and miss everything from family to HP sauce from the UK. Go in with your eyes open or you will find it impossible to stay once the novelty has worn off, or when you hit your first crisis.

DrWho

Had an IQ for long...?

Gray C

What is it with the title of this thread (it was the same with it's older brother) that gets everyone bickering at each other? It is a New Year, so let's be nice to each other and maybe get back on thread!

tony_russell

chortle chortle, why you always trying to be a smartarse? your not big, not clever and your not even funny, now go away and crawl under your rock