3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
May 4th 2010, 6:56 pm
#16
The Brit is back
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: NS, Canada 2007-2013. Now....England!
Posts: 2,211
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
I too am having doubts for the first time in 4 years about did we do the right thing and should we go back to the UK.
I went through some tough times in our first 2 years here, but never had the urge to return to the UK. Now this year I am almost consumed by wanting to go back, but Hubby is not interested and will not entertain the idea
I wonder if after landing here in Calgary during the "boom" and now facing the "bust" period is why I am having doubts after so many years here? (Just a theory)
We are looking at moving to the GTA at some point as it is closer to the UK and the US and will hopefully give us a chance to do more than we can do out here in Calgary.
I can't give any advice, but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in your feelings.
I went through some tough times in our first 2 years here, but never had the urge to return to the UK. Now this year I am almost consumed by wanting to go back, but Hubby is not interested and will not entertain the idea
I wonder if after landing here in Calgary during the "boom" and now facing the "bust" period is why I am having doubts after so many years here? (Just a theory)
We are looking at moving to the GTA at some point as it is closer to the UK and the US and will hopefully give us a chance to do more than we can do out here in Calgary.
I can't give any advice, but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in your feelings.
It's really hard to make this desision and my hubby won't entertain it either, but I think ultimately he will do what makes me happy. I just feel bad putting that pressure on him as I know he's so against it.
Maybe GTA will be right for you. I wouldn't mind trying there either but it means starting all over again for my kids!
May 4th 2010, 7:45 pm
#17
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Joined: Jun 2008
Location: oakville ON
Posts: 350
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
Why is it so easy to make the desision to leave your homeland, but so damn difficult to make the desision to return??
That must be the clear cut answer to my question about going back to England. I am finding it hard to justify leaving NS. Sure, I am unhappy with a few things her, it makes me sad that my kids no longer say waTer and laTer, amongst other things.
If I went back, I probably wouldn't want to live where I did before. It is so built up where we were and I couldn't breathe. I would want to go to Devon or Cornwall, somewhere unspoilt with plenty of natural beauty to compare to here.
Hubby will need alot of convincing first though
Who knows what the future will bring?
That must be the clear cut answer to my question about going back to England. I am finding it hard to justify leaving NS. Sure, I am unhappy with a few things her, it makes me sad that my kids no longer say waTer and laTer, amongst other things.
If I went back, I probably wouldn't want to live where I did before. It is so built up where we were and I couldn't breathe. I would want to go to Devon or Cornwall, somewhere unspoilt with plenty of natural beauty to compare to here.
Hubby will need alot of convincing first though
Who knows what the future will bring?
Its so built up, there is countryside that you can drive to but its not on your doorstep and is not that interesting.
We are in similar situations, we don't hate it here but are far from happy here. There is always something missing (not just family as my hubby's family are all here). Can't put our finger on it, a zest for life, character, interesting people i guess. Don't know, we opened a can of worms which perhaps we shouldn't have opened!
C'est La vie!
May 4th 2010, 8:06 pm
#18
GO FLAMES GO!!!!
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Calgary eh?!
Posts: 571
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
Thanks
It's really hard to make this desision and my hubby won't entertain it either, but I think ultimately he will do what makes me happy. I just feel bad putting that pressure on him as I know he's so against it.
Maybe GTA will be right for you. I wouldn't mind trying there either but it means starting all over again for my kids!
It's really hard to make this desision and my hubby won't entertain it either, but I think ultimately he will do what makes me happy. I just feel bad putting that pressure on him as I know he's so against it.
Maybe GTA will be right for you. I wouldn't mind trying there either but it means starting all over again for my kids!
I hope you find a solution, it certainly sucks being in limbo!
May 5th 2010, 6:44 pm
#19
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Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario(house is SOLD on our way back to UK/aug 09)
Posts: 426
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
Hi everyone,
My family and I moved to NS almost 3 years ago now. It is something both OH and me wanted to do for years and we did all the planning and researching for months, years even.
Our original choice was to move to ON but we changed our minds at the last minute, which I think was a mistake.
Apart from being close the the ocean, which I love, there is not much here.
Anyway, the first year was great, we were so busy with our new lives and I was so happy.
Then I went back for a visit and thats when things started going wrong.
I became very depressed and really wanted to return. On top of that OH was now unhappy at work and we had got into so much debt that everything was spiralling out of control.
Still, OH didn't want to go back but I did so much I was willing to go without him. We have such a strong marriage but the pull was so great.
I eventually persuded him and we put our house on the market and everything.
The day we got made an offer on the house is the day we got hit with the realisation of waht we were doing.
We suddenly realised we had come so far and could we really give in now?
OH found a new job which he totally loves and kids are settled in school.
I started thinking more positive and decided we should stay.
Anyway, another 2 years on and I just can't stop thinking about England. I feel like I really want to return and I am back on that downward slope.
I have spoken to OH about it but I feel so guilty as he really does not want to return, under any circumstance. My eldest is now 15 and has missed 3 years of British school and is at a really crucial time. It would be just wrong to take her back now as she would be so far behind.
Has anybody else moved back at this crucial stage?
On the other hand I am thinking, maybe we could try ON so we are not giving up on Canada so soon?
I just keep thinking that we'll stay to get our citizenship and then return. This will give us the option to come back if things don't work out.
I remember all the reasons we left, but it doesn't change how I feel.
Sorry for the doom and gloom folks. I feel better just writing down how I feel.
Maybe I should just suck it up and get on with it
My family and I moved to NS almost 3 years ago now. It is something both OH and me wanted to do for years and we did all the planning and researching for months, years even.
Our original choice was to move to ON but we changed our minds at the last minute, which I think was a mistake.
Apart from being close the the ocean, which I love, there is not much here.
Anyway, the first year was great, we were so busy with our new lives and I was so happy.
Then I went back for a visit and thats when things started going wrong.
I became very depressed and really wanted to return. On top of that OH was now unhappy at work and we had got into so much debt that everything was spiralling out of control.
Still, OH didn't want to go back but I did so much I was willing to go without him. We have such a strong marriage but the pull was so great.
I eventually persuded him and we put our house on the market and everything.
The day we got made an offer on the house is the day we got hit with the realisation of waht we were doing.
We suddenly realised we had come so far and could we really give in now?
OH found a new job which he totally loves and kids are settled in school.
I started thinking more positive and decided we should stay.
Anyway, another 2 years on and I just can't stop thinking about England. I feel like I really want to return and I am back on that downward slope.
I have spoken to OH about it but I feel so guilty as he really does not want to return, under any circumstance. My eldest is now 15 and has missed 3 years of British school and is at a really crucial time. It would be just wrong to take her back now as she would be so far behind.
Has anybody else moved back at this crucial stage?
On the other hand I am thinking, maybe we could try ON so we are not giving up on Canada so soon?
I just keep thinking that we'll stay to get our citizenship and then return. This will give us the option to come back if things don't work out.
I remember all the reasons we left, but it doesn't change how I feel.
Sorry for the doom and gloom folks. I feel better just writing down how I feel.
Maybe I should just suck it up and get on with it
I would give it a go, in ONtario, if you can?..I lived there 37yrs. and it was fine. hot summers. cold winters. I was also a child expat so Canada was all i knew..so England Im still finding hard to accept as my home.
good luck
May 5th 2010, 7:42 pm
#20
The Brit is back
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: NS, Canada 2007-2013. Now....England!
Posts: 2,211
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
WE just left Toronto, to come to England..and i'm having all the same feelings you are having NO one warns us of all the emotions we have to go thru to immigrate..IT CErtainly isn't for the faint of heart!!..Hope i'm not going to have the ping pong effect of an expat.
I would give it a go, in ONtario, if you can?..I lived there 37yrs. and it was fine. hot summers. cold winters. I was also a child expat so Canada was all i knew..so England Im still finding hard to accept as my home.
good luck
I would give it a go, in ONtario, if you can?..I lived there 37yrs. and it was fine. hot summers. cold winters. I was also a child expat so Canada was all i knew..so England Im still finding hard to accept as my home.
good luck
What made you leave ON to live in UK?
May 6th 2010, 8:23 am
#21
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Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario(house is SOLD on our way back to UK/aug 09)
Posts: 426
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
I wanted to get to know my homeland, really(check my older posts), Its an emotional journey as well!... ..ppl are friendly, and have made some nice friends here. (although moving 300miles to Devon shortly) IT really just takes TIME to settle and have it all feel like home!
good luck with your journey.
good luck with your journey.
May 6th 2010, 3:53 pm
#22
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 207
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
And here I am back in the UK for nearly three years and there have been a few times when I wonder whether it would have been better to stay in AB or just Canada.
My OH has his moments when he is terribly homesick, as does the eldest (usually when he has not enjoyed school quite so much). Certainly don't miss the weather in AB though, I smile to myself when I notice reports on how snowy it has been.
If I am asked why though and which place I prefer I couldn't honestly tell you. I suppose it is familiarity really - everything here reminds me of something or sometime in my childhood(good and bad)it is comfortable but certainly not as exciting as being in another country/culture. My family is here but perhaps not quite as close as I remembered and imagined before we moved back, if it weren't for my folks it would be an entirely different experience and or all those folks who make such a big move to a new area with kids but no family to help - I salute you and admire your courage, good luck.
My OH doesn't have these memories about this area, but then again he misses being able to share his childhood experiences with the boys and I know he really misses his family.
If we had made a move within Canada 3 years ago we would not be back here now, but then again now we are back it is unlikely that we will be able to aford to move back any time soon (unless the lottery gods are kind to us this friday) Well we'll see after the results from the election as to where we will be better off.
Good luck to all who are considering a move back.
My OH has his moments when he is terribly homesick, as does the eldest (usually when he has not enjoyed school quite so much). Certainly don't miss the weather in AB though, I smile to myself when I notice reports on how snowy it has been.
If I am asked why though and which place I prefer I couldn't honestly tell you. I suppose it is familiarity really - everything here reminds me of something or sometime in my childhood(good and bad)it is comfortable but certainly not as exciting as being in another country/culture. My family is here but perhaps not quite as close as I remembered and imagined before we moved back, if it weren't for my folks it would be an entirely different experience and or all those folks who make such a big move to a new area with kids but no family to help - I salute you and admire your courage, good luck.
My OH doesn't have these memories about this area, but then again he misses being able to share his childhood experiences with the boys and I know he really misses his family.
If we had made a move within Canada 3 years ago we would not be back here now, but then again now we are back it is unlikely that we will be able to aford to move back any time soon (unless the lottery gods are kind to us this friday) Well we'll see after the results from the election as to where we will be better off.
Good luck to all who are considering a move back.
May 7th 2010, 9:15 am
#23
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Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Newtown, Powys
Posts: 326
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
If I am asked why though and which place I prefer I couldn't honestly tell you. I suppose it is familiarity really - everything here reminds me of something or sometime in my childhood(good and bad)it is comfortable but certainly not as exciting as being in another country/culture. My family is here but perhaps not quite as close as I remembered and imagined before we moved back, if it weren't for my folks it would be an entirely different experience and or all those folks who make such a big move to a new area with kids but no family to help - I salute you and admire your courage, good luck.
May 7th 2010, 10:45 pm
#24
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 68
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
I think there are always going to be pros and cons to any decision you make - you just have to choose the one that tips the balance and accept the things that you can't change once you've made that decision. I decided 4 years ago to stay in Canada and it felt like the right decision. I'm sure it was at the time. Now I've decided to go home I know that's the right decision. I also know it's a permanent one whatever I find at the other end! My family and friends are spread out in the UK but I'd rather they were a few hours' drive away than a plane ride and a frantic scramble. I've also decided that it's being in my own culture that matters most to me.
These are my thought's also, only I will always have to have one foot in each place, if we do go back as would be leaving my son here, he has settled and consider's OZ to be his culture now...I have to resign myself to the fact that I will never feel truly settled again now!
May 8th 2010, 10:52 am
#25
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Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Newtown, Powys
Posts: 326
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
These are my thought's also, only I will always have to have one foot in each place, if we do go back as would be leaving my son here, he has settled and consider's OZ to be his culture now...I have to resign myself to the fact that I will never feel truly settled again now!
May 8th 2010, 11:15 am
#26
Éireann go Brách
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: White Man in Hammersmith Palais
Posts: 2,932
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
Hi everyone,
My family and I moved to NS almost 3 years ago now. It is something both OH and me wanted to do for years and we did all the planning and researching for months, years even.
Our original choice was to move to ON but we changed our minds at the last minute, which I think was a mistake.
Apart from being close the the ocean, which I love, there is not much here.
Anyway, the first year was great, we were so busy with our new lives and I was so happy.
Then I went back for a visit and thats when things started going wrong.
I became very depressed and really wanted to return. On top of that OH was now unhappy at work and we had got into so much debt that everything was spiralling out of control.
Still, OH didn't want to go back but I did so much I was willing to go without him. We have such a strong marriage but the pull was so great.
I eventually persuded him and we put our house on the market and everything.
The day we got made an offer on the house is the day we got hit with the realisation of waht we were doing.
We suddenly realised we had come so far and could we really give in now?
OH found a new job which he totally loves and kids are settled in school.
I started thinking more positive and decided we should stay.
Anyway, another 2 years on and I just can't stop thinking about England. I feel like I really want to return and I am back on that downward slope.
I have spoken to OH about it but I feel so guilty as he really does not want to return, under any circumstance. My eldest is now 15 and has missed 3 years of British school and is at a really crucial time. It would be just wrong to take her back now as she would be so far behind.
Has anybody else moved back at this crucial stage?
On the other hand I am thinking, maybe we could try ON so we are not giving up on Canada so soon?
I just keep thinking that we'll stay to get our citizenship and then return. This will give us the option to come back if things don't work out.
I remember all the reasons we left, but it doesn't change how I feel.
Sorry for the doom and gloom folks. I feel better just writing down how I feel.
Maybe I should just suck it up and get on with it
My family and I moved to NS almost 3 years ago now. It is something both OH and me wanted to do for years and we did all the planning and researching for months, years even.
Our original choice was to move to ON but we changed our minds at the last minute, which I think was a mistake.
Apart from being close the the ocean, which I love, there is not much here.
Anyway, the first year was great, we were so busy with our new lives and I was so happy.
Then I went back for a visit and thats when things started going wrong.
I became very depressed and really wanted to return. On top of that OH was now unhappy at work and we had got into so much debt that everything was spiralling out of control.
Still, OH didn't want to go back but I did so much I was willing to go without him. We have such a strong marriage but the pull was so great.
I eventually persuded him and we put our house on the market and everything.
The day we got made an offer on the house is the day we got hit with the realisation of waht we were doing.
We suddenly realised we had come so far and could we really give in now?
OH found a new job which he totally loves and kids are settled in school.
I started thinking more positive and decided we should stay.
Anyway, another 2 years on and I just can't stop thinking about England. I feel like I really want to return and I am back on that downward slope.
I have spoken to OH about it but I feel so guilty as he really does not want to return, under any circumstance. My eldest is now 15 and has missed 3 years of British school and is at a really crucial time. It would be just wrong to take her back now as she would be so far behind.
Has anybody else moved back at this crucial stage?
On the other hand I am thinking, maybe we could try ON so we are not giving up on Canada so soon?
I just keep thinking that we'll stay to get our citizenship and then return. This will give us the option to come back if things don't work out.
I remember all the reasons we left, but it doesn't change how I feel.
Sorry for the doom and gloom folks. I feel better just writing down how I feel.
Maybe I should just suck it up and get on with it
I had that voice constantly muttering in the back of my head, what am i doing here. When we did finally return, after nearly 7 years, it wasnt long before i started thinking it was the biggest mistake ive ever made. We did get our citizenship and its nice having it in the bag for when we do return some day. We looked at NS ourselves back in 06 and it was lacking a lot compared with BC. Nice place and people but just missing excitement. Take a look at ON you never know.
May 8th 2010, 12:42 pm
#27
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Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Near Kingston, Ontario
Posts: 1,318
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
Lorry=
You are not alone- we have been here 8 years now, got citizenship and financially are worse off then when we were in UK, due to hubby not getting job and now self employemtn which is very sporadic. I work full time and have since 2003 and I was going to only work part time when we came to Canada.
I have great yearnings to go back to UK, and then other times I look at where we live in the coun try side and at the moment I have a good job- I hate the winters but this year was better!
The economic climate globally at the moment makes moving back to UK or Europe a very dodgy one. Canada has faired a lot better overall and I believe at the moment its the best place to be. Time will tell.
The Uk has some serious sorting out to do with the economy and the debt ratio to GDP-
My husband is happy to consider UK but at the moment he says we should stay put.
GTA is not the place to move if you like space!
What type of work are you guys in?
You are not alone- we have been here 8 years now, got citizenship and financially are worse off then when we were in UK, due to hubby not getting job and now self employemtn which is very sporadic. I work full time and have since 2003 and I was going to only work part time when we came to Canada.
I have great yearnings to go back to UK, and then other times I look at where we live in the coun try side and at the moment I have a good job- I hate the winters but this year was better!
The economic climate globally at the moment makes moving back to UK or Europe a very dodgy one. Canada has faired a lot better overall and I believe at the moment its the best place to be. Time will tell.
The Uk has some serious sorting out to do with the economy and the debt ratio to GDP-
My husband is happy to consider UK but at the moment he says we should stay put.
GTA is not the place to move if you like space!
What type of work are you guys in?
May 8th 2010, 12:59 pm
#28
The Brit is back
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: NS, Canada 2007-2013. Now....England!
Posts: 2,211
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
Hi,
We wouldn't consider GTA anyway, I never wanted to move to Toronto. Ottawa is our place of choice, and when my daughter finishes school, that may be where we will try?
Hubby is in IT and I am a Travel Agent. We both love our jobs and are happy with the companies we work for here.
We wouldn't consider GTA anyway, I never wanted to move to Toronto. Ottawa is our place of choice, and when my daughter finishes school, that may be where we will try?
Hubby is in IT and I am a Travel Agent. We both love our jobs and are happy with the companies we work for here.
May 8th 2010, 1:48 pm
#29
Éireann go Brách
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: White Man in Hammersmith Palais
Posts: 2,932
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
I had that voice constantly muttering in the back of my head, what am i doing here. When we did finally return, after nearly 7 years, it wasnt long before i started thinking it was the biggest mistake ive ever made. We did get our citizenship and its nice having it in the bag for when we do return some day. We looked at NS ourselves back in 06 and it was lacking a lot compared with BC. Nice place and people but just missing excitement. Take a look at ON you never know.
May 9th 2010, 4:57 pm
#30
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Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Near Kingston, Ontario
Posts: 1,318
Re: 3 years in Canada - keep thinking of England!
Hi,
We wouldn't consider GTA anyway, I never wanted to move to Toronto. Ottawa is our place of choice, and when my daughter finishes school, that may be where we will try?
Hubby is in IT and I am a Travel Agent. We both love our jobs and are happy with the companies we work for here.
We wouldn't consider GTA anyway, I never wanted to move to Toronto. Ottawa is our place of choice, and when my daughter finishes school, that may be where we will try?
Hubby is in IT and I am a Travel Agent. We both love our jobs and are happy with the companies we work for here.
Hubby and I moved to Ottawa when we first came in 2002- he was in IT at that time, then the IT bubble burst and he was unable to get any work in IT, now he has lost it because he has been out of it for so long. There is a lot of "bilingualism" issues up there which is why we moved back to Kingston Ontario from USA..
Kingston has a lot going for it, near the border for x border shopping, Queens University, Kingston General Hospital (excellent healthcare), big box stores, affordable housing...
Good Luck with whatever you decide to do.... we are hoping to go back to UK for 2 weeks in Nov, subject to the volcano cloud of course!!