Originally Posted by Pulaski

One detail buried in post #1 is that returning to the UK is going to tie PomGirl to her boyfriend, married or not, because they're going to end up in housing provided by her b/f's parents. .... What if it takes longer than expected to save a deposit for their own place? What happens if the relationship fails? Then PomGirl would have to find her own place .... and that might push her into tolerate a failing relationship longer than she should, or arguably worse, she could be summarily "evicted" if her b/f decides to end the relationship. Something similar nearly happened to my sister, but the house was provided by her husband's employer and she was protected because she was married, but he tried to kick her out when she had nowhere to go, no job, no relatives within 500 miles, and was in a foreign country which she had arrived in less than six months earlier.

Under these specific set of circumstances I would suggest that PomGirl first needs to work out whether this relationship is worth investing in for the long term, and if it is, make it as permanent as she can i.e. make marriage a precondition for the move, and if either she doesn't think it is worth it, or her b/f won't agree, then walk away.