stm1971

Are you thinking of coming back to Perth then CTB?? If so, what are you reasons if you don't mind me asking?


To Poppet, 10 days may not be enough to form an objective view of the UK but only you can really decide. I had a last minute trip back in Nov 07 for a funeral and was only there for 8 days but it was enough to convince me I wanted to return. Even though it was cold, miserable and raining I was just walking around at amazement at how "alive" everything seemed.

St.Georges Girl

Where abouts are you and how long have you been there? Your situation sounds very much like mine.

Will you two STFU you are doing my brain in, what's left of it. I feel like a relic who is being left behind 'cos I'm not worth bothering about. I WANNA GO HOME.............

I felt the same the last time we were home. It was cold and it rained for a few days, but I loved it, felt comfortable and no longer lonely, I was definitely 'HOME'.

Victor Meldrew

As a teacher, I am lucky to have 2 months holiday in the summer, which I have always spent back in UK. In this way I have never really lost touch with how I feel about the prospect of eventually returning to UK (which I hope to in the next couple of years).

This has generally given me an insight as to how much I do/don't want to go back yet.

I am going back at Easter for 10 days, but the difference is that I will be staying in my own house (for the first time in a loooong time) as it is not rented. I think this will give me a good/better picture than living in hotels/friends/relatives in various towns/cities around UK and constantly living out of a suitcase.

I am looking forward to it.

chance to be

Hi STM
No, not exactly. I will try to tell you as honestly and objectively (I was going to do a separate thread but put it here instead) Moving away and moving back has completely screwed my mind up!!! I wish I was like a lot of people who come back and forget about it and live for the day they are in but I am not like that. I think too much, over analyse and always have my head in the clouds, I am always looking to the "next thing" instead of enjoying the "thing I have at the time. It was predominately my decision to move back to the UK and luckily OH and kids came back too. OH very happy in UK so no probs there.
I made some lovely friends in Oz and like hot weather and hate my job in the UK so all in all a holiday was a good thing to do. OH suggested it because those rose tints work in reverse you know, and it is useful to go and satisfy yourself you have made the right decision to come back and he doesnt want to go back to Perth so me coming back saying "you were right - Id forgotten about x,y,z..." will be good for us all round. Going as a holiday made sense because I could look at the place with objective eyes. I didn’t have that forever feeling and being alone means I wasn’t influenced by the children enjoying the pool, holiday-type things also. I was very organized and found the following IMO only:

1.Just about everything is the same price as the UK here. Dont think it is going to be cheaper - its not. Houses have rocketed in price to the extent we have no savings so couldn’t afford to buy here in a million years at the mo. Only significant differences seem to be petrol and rail/public transport cheaper in Oz. Flights cheaper UK.

2.There is more opportunity however for young, single types to earn more money and get on housing ladder here because of the mines which is set to mean the boom should last another 10-15 yrs. Labourers get $100-150k, so if prepared to live shifts away from home for a year could set people up for house deposit etc. A small place like the UK will never have these opportunities for making a fast buck on little qualifications. This may get the younger generation out of the doldrums quicker than in the UK?

3. Education system (up to age 16, no knowledge of 16+ in Perth) in the UK is far more superior and stimulating than in Perth. UK has a well-established curriculum - parents and kids know what’s expected of them. Here it seems to be if you get an inspiring teacher that’s great but its a lottery as less good teachers do not have to follow as rigorous teaching frameworks as in UK. I am friends with a couple of teachers in perth who are OZ, but admit the UK system and UK teachers are far better and here they rely too heavily on "shut up sheets" worksheets as they don’t know what to teach and when. They are also untrained in differentiation and struggle with different abilities.

4. People say more miserable faces in the UK so I sat and people watched in Joondalup shopping centre. There was no difference. The light, brightness, cleanliness and “how yer goings?” gives the illusion of a happier bunch but if you look beyond that level, the people are just the same. I think that was a crux – on the surface Australia wins hands down – its bright, clean, new, spacious, people look affluent…but scratch beneath the surface, beyond the superficial and you will find a lot of people will “empty” lives.

5. People here are racist but unashamedly so. I actually don’t have a problem with this. If you are racist, at least be honest about it. I personally found (though I know a lot of people here have had different experiences) that locals welcome white UK, and their racism is more about colour than country. The difference I would like to think therefore between the UK and perth is that UK people are intolerant about the numbers of people coming into the country because it is so small the infrastructure cant cope and jobs are few. It’s more about numbers than race. In Oz, a country in need of a higher population and more space, they cannot have this excuse/reasoning and therefore I am more uncomfortable with their comments.

6. Australia is a wonderful country but this is the main point - and conclusion from me. I am in the burbs at the moment, typing this. I need to leave to catch the plane to the uk in 2hrs. There is a quietness in the burbs, well everywhere really that I actually find quite disturbing and this is what messed up my mind when I lived here and I feel sure would mess up my mind if I came back again. My mental stimulation has been zero – that’s great as I’m on holiday and just what I needed – but as a lifestyle choice it’s not for me. No one to chat to, moan about the weather to, pass 10mins to as you walk by – you see no-one, Neighbours it aint. Peoples houses are their refuges here – not a place to shout over the fence, notice the milks not been taken in for 2 days, to have teenagers slamming doors (overhearing a row or something would actually be quite comforting), kids playing outside the front. There is actually no noise. This, in my mind equates to “white noise” and sort of mind numbingness. I know a lot of people don’t notice or actually like this but I find it really disturbing. I remember one time living here, I said to the kids, “don’t tell your dad – we’re going to swear now” I got in the car, turned the radio up loud and we all screamed at the top of our voices at everything. It was like a slow release. Just to “hear” life in its rawest sense was such a relief. I hoped I would be over that but I can see I’m not. Nearly all the friends here I have are Australian. They are lovely, bright, funny and I will be so sad to leave them. When I am with them I am happy, it’s that time when you haven’t friend company that’s so difficult here because other stimulation is so thin on the ground. You can’t walk to any stimulation, its car culture. Live bands etc are few and TV/radio – well you all know about that. The beaches are fantastic, if you want a different type of weekend break, it’s an effort to find something. So I would say, in order to survive here, make sure you have a job you enjoy, to get you into social contact with others and to have something productive and a routine.
1hr to go now – and I am so looking forward to seeing my family again. My OH has the greatest sense of humour, I need funny people and enjoy sarcasm – that Britishness gets the Brits though the bits about the UK that is sh@t. I will miss the weather and friends. I feel that my kids will be better educated and have more life experience (Europe trips history etc) in the UK, and as a parent I need to make personal decisions based on what I think is best for my kids. When they are older, with a good education, they can decide for themselves what they want to do.

So, Blighty – look forward to seeing you tomorrow

PS: anyone think of how I can retrain to get a job of approx 35kpounds while still doing my job. What sort of work easy to distance learn? I am qual social worker and qual teacher.
PPS: apologies for being such a long thread!

C

suninspired

Oh my goodness!!

Every once in a while I stumble across an incredible post...a post that resonates so deeply and one that IMHO deserves to be a sticky to benefit others.

"Chance to be" has done just that.

Unfortunately, it should be part of another thread or have its own thread for I fear it will eventually become lost in this thread. It indirectly answers the OP's question but offers so much more to those considering Oz as the country-destination of their dreams.

Make no mistake...I love Australia and I love Australians. I have tremendous respect for them and will always have a soft spot for them...but back to the topic...

OP asked whether a 10-day trip back to the UK is worth it. I doubt it. 10 days is too short to formulate any opinions or back up any hunches.

But "chance to be" ("C") has given a spontaneous and off-the-cuff reply (Good God, only hours before a flight) that is just so full of thought-provoking material, it's simply got to be of immense help to anyone thinking of a move to Oz or away from Oz.

Poppet, you don't need a 10-day trip back to Blighty. "Chance to be" just saved you $$$$s. Read "C's" post and consider the content.

I've been there and done it. So maybe that's why C's post registers so massively. Had the Oz PR visa. Moved there. Lived there. Left there. Something just wasn't right. Couldn't really verbalize it - but "Chance to be" has.

This part of C's post smacked me in the head:

That is the crux - the vast emptiness.

We all tend to take for granted the truly astonishing delights that the UK and Europe offer. Incredible history, wonderfully rich and varied cultures, architecture dating back hundreds or thousands of years...I could go on forever.

Only if you've lived in Oz can you appreciate the perfect irony and contradiction of this statement. And it it was eventually leads one to doing this:

I laughed so much when I read this. It is so true...I know exactly how you felt.

A Brit will appreciate this. No walking to the local pub. No meeting with friends and hopping onto public transport to go for a drink. No,it is car-culture and, sadly, Aus has a leaning toward the same V8 petrol-guzzling crap as the Americans. Hoons Rule, Yeah!!

Poppet, save yourself the thousands of dollars a 10-day trip will cost and simply read and consider the points "Chance to be" has jotted down before dashing off to the airport. Thinking about the points she has made will far better assist you in making your mind up than any 10-day trip back home.

St.Georges Girl

Excellent post Chrissy. Really enjoyed reading it. I am the same, I over analyse and think about everything far too much for my own good, probably accounts for why I'm still here going on 14 years and wish to God I wasn't. I envy you and hope you find what you are looking for when you get home again. Safe journey and good luck for your future.

I couldn't agree more.

chance to be

Im at the airport now (about to board!!) but wanted to thank you for your kind words. Am not in a position to make this a separate thread right now but will do so if anyone wants on my return in the Rovers.
Good luck to everyone who's uncertain. Once a decision is made, its so much easier to live with. Ive decieded home is a place in my head (where my little family are) not any country, so just be where you feel you can live with yourself and your decisions best and thats the right choice.
Best wishes all
Chrissy

St.Georges Girl

Hope you have a good flight C.

PS. Your husband is a very understanding man, you're lucky.x

stm1971

Thanks for such an indepth answer C. So much of it resonates with how I feel about Perth. I too am sitting here in the suburbs and the quietness is almost deafening!

I have less than 5 weeks until we return and while I am so looking forward to going home there is still that little voice at the back of my mind that asks "are we doing the right thing". We have been here 10 years and I have wanted to go home since 2005 so I know the decision to return is not a rash one. It took my OH a bit longer to come on board as I think when there are kids involved though it complicates things as we all want what is best for them. I came to the conclusion that the best thing we can give our kids are happy parents and if being happy means living in the UK then that's what we'll do.

I think there are great opportunities in both countries for kids so I don't think I am denying them anything by taking them back. If anything I am opening up a whole new world to them after their closeted upbringing in Perth. Like you say, if they want to return when they are older then that will be their choice.

It sounds like the holiday was worth it to put your mind at rest. I expect to feel up and down over the next year and there will probably be times when I look back on Perth with the rose tints on. I'll have to remember to come on here and read through these threads to remind me how life is here.

You probably are on your way home now, I hope you have/had a safe journey and good luck.

Nu-Shooz

Fantastic post Chrissy...bon voyage and welcome home

northernbird

awesome post Chrissy, glad you have finally found peace with your decision. Cx

brits1

C. I did phone you but your mobile is switched off so you must be already on the plane....great thread...I think for a lot of people here you have "hit the nail on the head" and for some you have rung a bell in some shape or form with various parts of your thread..one thing I am sick of doing is "shouting in a whisper"..lol....does anyone not have an argument here? I feel like one of those "fisherwoman" (not sure what my gran use to mean by that but she always used that term when she heard her neighbour yelling at her OH on his return back from the pub..lol)after I have been "quietly telling my boys off, oh included...lol, anyway hope we can catch up once we are home.....home....that sounds lovely....

Nu-Shooz

I'll be there too

brits1

No you will not...... your way too pretty and this last year here for me has all but killed off what little looks I did have...lol...

PoppetUK

Thanks everyone for coming into this thread. Some really interesting comments. I know the thing about silence. I've actually resorted to cranking up the music in my house around 530pm to get a bit of life going. I can never explain how even if I am out doing something something feels empty or missing. Quite strange.

Blinking decisions decisions...............

Thanks again.