Trude123

Help anyone. I've searched for more info on this but can't find my circs exactly. I have applied for a teaching job at a good school in Dubai and have been approached by the school with some concerns. My daughter will be moving with me to the Middle East (age 10) which seems to present the first problem. In the fullness of time we planned, my partner and I (not my husband although I am still married) to live as a family in Dubai. Is this possible. It seems many couples lay low and go unnoticed but I wonder about a child living with an unmarried couple?

Anyone heard of this scenario before?

I would be so grateful for your feedback x

Ethos83

Daft idea.

Either get married or don't bring your partner to Dubai.

You wouldn't be able to sponsor him anyway.

It is one thing if it was just you and the partner, but not when a child is involved.

If anything, the school wouldn't allow it and you'd be sacked immediately if they ever found out an unmarried partner was living with you and the child.

kittycat1

I would say avoid it,if you got caught you'd be in serious trouble and with a kiddlywink its not worth risking.Get your divorce in and have a trip to the registry office.

If you did risk it you will have to be very low key but I think try and respect the rules as much as you canto stay out of trouble. If thats not an option then maybe a strict muslim country isnt the place for you at the moment

best of luck

Trude123

Thanks Ethos and Kitty. I wouldn't be sponsoring my partner.. He is also an educator and would be sponsored by his employer I presume. The school are aware of my situation and are the ones who have put me wise to the problems that face me so no risk of being sacked. Bigger risk is not getting the job as I've been very open with them about my situation! mmmmmm lots to think about x

busybee2

it will depend on your employer. as a teacher you are able to sponsor your family as a woman as its in one of the excepted professions. if your employer is raising concerns now that you are unmarried etc then it will be down to them, cohabiting is illegal etc, of course, people do it, but your employers need to issue visas etc and thats where the problems will arise.

Trude123

Thanks BusyBee. Would the problem arise there? My employer has said he will sponsor me and my daughter. Would my partner not get sponsorship and visas from his eventual employer? Minefield!!!!

Morecambe Mindy

Why risk it?

Things don't just go wrong in places like Dubai, they go spectacularly wrong!

If, for example, you were burgled, or you needed the police to visit at your villa, questions could be asked of you and your set up, and you would be the ones in trouble.

Read this, and have a think: http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/cr...arged-1.490374

Seriously, this guy was charged whilst grieving for his dead girlfriend!

Also, you only have to piss the wrong person off and a phone call can be made... not worth it.

busybee2

just go and do a sharia marriage or do it before you arrive in the country. whose to say what may happen, you may be fine but then again you may not. some companies will not allow people who do not work for the company staying in company accommodation (ie friends etc) and of course they will not allow cohabitation as its illegal. If your family needs to be sponsored then of course the employer has to do the visas etc they are afterall responsible for their employees. If your "partner" was to come over and have a job then the sponsorship issues would be sorted, but of course you would still be co-habiting and thats where the problem can arise. its against the law so its your decision to take the risk. you also may have a problem as the child is not your "partners" you may need to have legal authorisation from the father etc too.

al dente

I would get your house in order before you come here.

Top tip with letter from your ex in ref to your child - get it without a date so that every time you renew the visa you can copy it with the correct date. That saves you having to go back to him for the same.

Do not underestimate the trouble that you can get into here when the s hit hits the fan. The school wouldn't be much help to you either.

mentalist

At the first sign that you are not working your tits off, the school will use your unmarried status either as a threat or as a way to get rid of you. It's not worth the aggravation. If you still don't accept what we say, you need to think of your daughter's well being.

Trude123

Hi everyone who took the time to reply. Very useful information. A lot to think about and many options raised. Can I just say that my reason for posting was not to ride roughshod over everyone's opinion but to fact find to do the best and safest thing. Maybe no offence was intended but some taken I'm afraid to the inference that I would not have my daughter's well being as paramount importance.

Once again, thanks to all of you ex-pats who replied. It has been a big help

al dente

[QUOTE=Trude123;9680829]Maybe no offence was intended but some taken I'm afraid to the inference that I would not have my daughter's well being as paramount importance.

QUOTE]

Crikey, i didn't see any.

Ronnie Biggs

[QUOTE=al dente;9680866] Me neither, some people are just way too sensitive for this place.

To give a bit of balance, I knew of several people who were in a similar position while I was in Dubai and they had no problems. That said, it's definitely a risk if you were to be involved in a crash or dispute involving the police etc and questions were to be asked...the police don't have anything better to do. On that basis only you will know whether it's a risk worth taking. Good luck with it all...

Norm_uk

Indeed - if you want to live in the GCC there are certain rules you need to be following to avoid unwanted trouble...getting married is one of them.

N.

hoofie2002

If it was just you and your partner who could get into trouble then fine. Since you have a child though it could leave her in a very difficult and unfortunate situation. That's no reflection on your love for your daughter or your ability as a parent - its the cold, hard facts of life over there. Dubai is not the UK with palm trees and flash cars; it is a very different, traditional muslim society with a thin veneer of western culture.

Your only safe options are to get married first; go without him or don't go at all.