Eeyore

DUBAI SYSTEM

You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them
in all magazines. You create a CowCity or Milk Town for them. You sell off
their milk, before the cows have even been milked, to both legit and shady
investors who hope to resell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two
years' time.You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.

QATAR SYSTEM:

You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one
realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you
go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows' boobs in the shortest
time possible.
Then you realize no-one wanted the milk in the first place.

SAUDI SYSTEM:

Since milking the cow involves nipples, the government decides to ban all
cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow in on one
side of the curtain and the guy milking the cow on the other, or to hire
females and train them to milk the cows ... the debate is still going on.

BAHRAIN SYSTEM:

You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it,
sells the milk and pockets the profit. The government tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the government and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decide to employ ten Bahrainis to all milk the cow at the same time to cut back on unemployment.

LEBANON SYSTEM:

You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled
by the government.

EGYPT SYSTEM:

You have two cows. Both are voting for Mubarak!

SOCIALISM:

You have two cows and you give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM:

You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow
dropped dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.You count them
again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. Both are mad.

Peterrod

It's a Seven Star Thread, "congratulations".

IndieG

Good One Gareth!! Found some more

An American Corporation

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

A British Corporation

You have two cows.
They are mad.
They die.
Pass the shepherd's pie, please.

French Corporation

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch.
Life is good.


Japanese Corporation

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

German Corporation

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves..
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

Italian Corporation

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


Taliban Corporation

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.

Polish Corporation

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

Florida Corporation

You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.

A Swiss Corporation

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A Brazilian Corporation

You have two cows.
You enter into a partnership with an American corporation.
Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

An Indian Corporation

You have two cows.
You worship both of them.

CasaNova

I have one cow!

she is my wife but she milks me. how about that?

IndieG

That's no cow - tis a bull under the abaya attracted to your pink dish dash

W10

shoushou

And after that,announce that you will make the world's tallest cow,and then announce an underwater cow farm and the worlds only 7 star cow spa....

IndieG

How do you guys make this all up ? You must be in Marketing - surely

Peterrod

and then say you have just discovered buried cows in the desert therefore enabling you to drill the worlds first milk well producing premium crude cream.

Zannie

Then the west come in and invade you and claim the crude cream for themselves!!

gedge

Then they can't find it, but claim they were only intending on freeing the cows from this milking tyranny.

Zannie

shoushou

Now youre just being eccentric.....