Pastors Donkey
Dec 16th 2005, 4:45 pm
#1
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,393
Pastors Donkey
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race, and surprisingly, it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S WINNING ASS.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the
local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. The pastor informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the
local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. The pastor informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
Dec 16th 2005, 4:57 pm
#2
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,393
BraZillion!
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily briefing on worldwide defense matters.
Rumsfeld concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"Oh no!" exclaimed the President. "That's terrible!"
The White House staff sits stunned at Bush's display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, with head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"
Rumsfeld concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"Oh no!" exclaimed the President. "That's terrible!"
The White House staff sits stunned at Bush's display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, with head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"
Dec 16th 2005, 5:05 pm
#3
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,393
Re: BraZillion!
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, " Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS? "
Answer: " So when I'm dead no one will dare touch your mom!"
His son asked him, " Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS? "
Answer: " So when I'm dead no one will dare touch your mom!"
Dec 16th 2005, 5:10 pm
#4
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,393
Re: BraZillion!
George W. Bush meets with the Queen of England.
He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence test. Listen to this". The Queen pushes a button on her intercom."Please! send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, Your Majesty?"
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.
Back at the White House, Bush asks to speak with Vice President Dick Cheney. "Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says the Vice President. "Let me get back to you on that one."
Dick Cheney goes to his advisors and asks every one,but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall. Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"
Cheney goes back to the Oval Office to speak with Bush. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."
Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"
He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence test. Listen to this". The Queen pushes a button on her intercom."Please! send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, Your Majesty?"
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.
Back at the White House, Bush asks to speak with Vice President Dick Cheney. "Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says the Vice President. "Let me get back to you on that one."
Dick Cheney goes to his advisors and asks every one,but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall. Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"
Cheney goes back to the Oval Office to speak with Bush. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."
Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"
Dec 16th 2005, 5:15 pm
#5
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,393
Re: BraZillion!
ok Peeps,
today I shall present one fanniest joke in the world.
I dedicate this joke to my dear, dear, friend ShouShou without whom I would still be a Hot Dog vendor in back alleys of Deira, Dubai.
So here goes
1. That's not right - Sum Ting Wong
2. Are you harbouring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding
3. See me ASAP - Kum Hia Nao
4. Stupid Man - Dum Gai
5. Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
6. Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan
7. I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
8. I think you need a face lift - Chin Tu Fat
9. It's very dark in here - Wao So Dim
10. I thought you were on a diet? - Wai Yu Mun Ching
11. This is a tow away zone - No Pah King
12. Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao
13. Staying out of sight - Lei Ying Lo
14. He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka
15. Your body odor is offensive - Yu Stin Ki Pu
16. Dirty spot on the wall - Wo Flung Dung
today I shall present one fanniest joke in the world.
I dedicate this joke to my dear, dear, friend ShouShou without whom I would still be a Hot Dog vendor in back alleys of Deira, Dubai.
So here goes
1. That's not right - Sum Ting Wong
2. Are you harbouring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding
3. See me ASAP - Kum Hia Nao
4. Stupid Man - Dum Gai
5. Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
6. Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan
7. I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
8. I think you need a face lift - Chin Tu Fat
9. It's very dark in here - Wao So Dim
10. I thought you were on a diet? - Wai Yu Mun Ching
11. This is a tow away zone - No Pah King
12. Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao
13. Staying out of sight - Lei Ying Lo
14. He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka
15. Your body odor is offensive - Yu Stin Ki Pu
16. Dirty spot on the wall - Wo Flung Dung
Dec 16th 2005, 5:39 pm
#6
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: BraZillion!
Originally Posted by CasaNova
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily briefing on worldwide defense matters.
Rumsfeld concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"Oh no!" exclaimed the President. "That's terrible!"
The White House staff sits stunned at Bush's display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, with head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"
Rumsfeld concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"Oh no!" exclaimed the President. "That's terrible!"
The White House staff sits stunned at Bush's display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, with head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"
Dec 16th 2005, 6:36 pm
#7
semarang
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: sand dune
Posts: 7,763
Re: BraZillion!
Originally Posted by CasaNova
ok Peeps,
today I shall present one fanniest joke in the world.
I dedicate this joke to my dear, dear, friend ShouShou without whom I would still be a Hot Dog vendor in back alleys of Deira, Dubai.
So here goes
1. That's not right - Sum Ting Wong
2. Are you harbouring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding
3. See me ASAP - Kum Hia Nao
4. Stupid Man - Dum Gai
5. Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
6. Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan
7. I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
8. I think you need a face lift - Chin Tu Fat
9. It's very dark in here - Wao So Dim
10. I thought you were on a diet? - Wai Yu Mun Ching
11. This is a tow away zone - No Pah King
12. Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao
13. Staying out of sight - Lei Ying Lo
14. He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka
15. Your body odor is offensive - Yu Stin Ki Pu
16. Dirty spot on the wall - Wo Flung Dung
today I shall present one fanniest joke in the world.
I dedicate this joke to my dear, dear, friend ShouShou without whom I would still be a Hot Dog vendor in back alleys of Deira, Dubai.
So here goes
1. That's not right - Sum Ting Wong
2. Are you harbouring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding
3. See me ASAP - Kum Hia Nao
4. Stupid Man - Dum Gai
5. Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
6. Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan
7. I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
8. I think you need a face lift - Chin Tu Fat
9. It's very dark in here - Wao So Dim
10. I thought you were on a diet? - Wai Yu Mun Ching
11. This is a tow away zone - No Pah King
12. Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao
13. Staying out of sight - Lei Ying Lo
14. He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka
15. Your body odor is offensive - Yu Stin Ki Pu
16. Dirty spot on the wall - Wo Flung Dung
Hmmmm ..... what is funny?
Dec 17th 2005, 4:05 am
#8
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 10,461
Re: BraZillion!
Originally Posted by CasaNova
ok Peeps,
today I shall present my fanny,the biggest joke in the world.
I dedicate this joke to my dear, dear, friend ShouShou without whom I would still be a Hot Dog vendor in back alleys of Deira, Dubai.
today I shall present my fanny,the biggest joke in the world.
I dedicate this joke to my dear, dear, friend ShouShou without whom I would still be a Hot Dog vendor in back alleys of Deira, Dubai.
Dec 17th 2005, 7:21 am
#9
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,393
Re: BraZillion!
Originally Posted by shoushou
I knew you had talent when I ate that sandwich,you had bigger things waiting for you out there......
i use to spit in them... i am happy people enjoyed them
Dec 17th 2005, 8:49 am
#10
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,596
Re: BraZillion!
And there was me thinking it was mayonnaise.
Oh dear, I don't like the way that this is heading....
Oh dear, I don't like the way that this is heading....
Originally Posted by CasaNova
i use to spit in them... i am happy people enjoyed them
Dec 17th 2005, 11:00 am
#11
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,393
Re: BraZillion!
Originally Posted by MJC
And there was me thinking it was mayonnaise.
Oh dear, I don't like the way that this is heading....
Oh dear, I don't like the way that this is heading....
how do you think those guys at fast food make your sandwiches?? ever thought about the secret Ingredient!
Dec 17th 2005, 1:07 pm
#12
Melts in your Mouth
Joined: Dec 2004
Location: Doha, Qatar
Posts: 2,258
Re: BraZillion!
Originally Posted by CasaNova
how do you think those guys at fast food make your sandwiches?? ever thought about the secret Ingredient!
which fast food????? we only eay healthy food here
Need the proteins and the vitamins u see
Dec 17th 2005, 1:08 pm
#13
Melts in your Mouth
Joined: Dec 2004
Location: Doha, Qatar
Posts: 2,258
Re: BraZillion!
Originally Posted by Malteser
which fast food????? we only eay healthy food here
Need the proteins and the vitamins u see
Need the proteins and the vitamins u see
Errr excuse my bad typo, cant seem to type well today, have a sort of tremble
Dec 17th 2005, 1:21 pm
#14
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,393
Re: BraZillion!
Originally Posted by Malteser
which fast food????? we only eay healthy food here
Need the proteins and the vitamins u see
Need the proteins and the vitamins u see
why is kissing the best part in bed?
Because there is Spit in it! think about it.
Dec 17th 2005, 1:26 pm
#15
Melts in your Mouth
Joined: Dec 2004
Location: Doha, Qatar
Posts: 2,258
Re: BraZillion!
Originally Posted by CasaNova
why is kissing the best part in bed?
Because there is Spit in it! think about it.
Because there is Spit in it! think about it.
Spitting in kissing
I dont spit when I kiss