Jammy_Dodgers

Following TS's lead here - here you go guys - you can have a go at the ladies here.



I wonder who will post first...............hhhhmmmm

Truth Speak

This should get the ball rolling - no complaints ladies - this thread is for the blokes..

Ice Fishing

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win -- they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.

"A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"

Jammy_Dodgers

Good Effort!!

I half expected JC to light up this thread !!!

Karma coming yr way TS

Truth Speak

Cheers - u'll have to wait to 10pm for mine

Truth Speak

What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections?
A whine and cheese party

Jammy_Dodgers

[B]Ten Answers Men Would Like to Give to Woman's Questions....But Never Will


1 No we can't be friends, I just want you for sex

2 The dress doesn't make you look fat, its all that ice-cream and chocolate you eat that makes you look fat

3 You've got no chance of me calling you.

4 No, I won't be gentle

5 Of course you have to swallow

6 Well yes actually, I do this all the time

7 Of course I hate your friends

8 I have every intention of using you, and no intention of speaking to you after tonight.

9 I'd rather watch a porno

10 Eat it??? It took me ten pints to get up the courage to shag it.

Truth Speak

[/QUOTE]
LMAO

Jammy_Dodgers

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
......................... So I got myself two girlfriends.


Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in every country, son.


First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.

Benson

we've got no hope then

Truth Speak

So true

Face81

oh we have hope.........

Our driving is better for starters!

lol

Truth Speak

So - what d'yu think then - decoaration or not?

Face81

tough one..... not safe to answer in public...... heads they win, tails I lose.... best to keep it to myself. lol

iconoclast

As an extremely happily married man i'd like to share this with you:


My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
-Henny Youngman

----------------------------------------------------------
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield

-----------------------------------------------------------
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle

------------------------------------------------------------
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was water in the carburetor."
I asked her , "Where's the car?"
She replied,"In the lake." -Henny Youngman

--------------------------------------------------------------
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman

--------------------------------------------------------------
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You
know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

---------------------------------------------------------------
When your enemy steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.

---------------------------------------------------------------
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

----------------------------------------------------------
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got myself two girlfriends.

---------------------------------------------------------
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to
report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

-------------------------------------------------------
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

----------------------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

--------------------------------------------------------
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a
Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

---------------------------------------------------------
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

----------------------------------------------------------
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."

--------------------------------------------------------
A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the
friend. "A billionaire." she replied,

----------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

----------------------------------------------------------
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
----------------------------------------------------------
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
------------------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through
life Thinking they had no faults at all.
---------------------------------------------------------
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

----------------------------------------------------------
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask
for whatever he wants,
But his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says,"Okay, give me a
million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

---------------------------------------------------------
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They'v e experienced pain and bought jewellery.

----------------------------------------------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.



SALAMOO ALEIKOM

Face81

Hilarious! hahahahaha