johnbuoy

http://www.virtualbartender.beer.com/beer_usa.htm



Where it says Order, just type in Banana

Desert Dweller

Same reaction I usually get when I type in 'blow job'!

Desert Dweller

And 'Sex on the Beach' and a 'Slow Comfortable Screw'. Story of my life!

johnbuoy

Your probably getting that reaction to a BJ because of the way your asking, take your hand off the back off her head and say Please!!

Jellybean

Guessed what cars I really have yet DD ?

Norm_uk

I asked for a pint of Theakstons' and a packet of ready rub and the silly cow shrugged her shoulders...honestly.

Still, her attire is certainly compensation for the lack of beverage variety.

Jellybean

Ooops this has already been around here... in the lounge maybe, posted by somebody like syllk or Toontje

Desert Dweller

No, but my brows are furrowed as we speak.

johnbuoy

50 things women can't do.

1. Know anything about a car, other than it's colour.
2. Understand a film plot
3. Go 24 hours without sending a text message.
4. Build a shed
5. Throw
6. Run
7. Park a car
8. Fart
9. Read a map
10. Rob a bank
11. Resist Ikea
12. Sit still
13. Tell a joke
14. Play pool
15. Pay for dinner
16. Eat a kebab while walking
17. Piss out of a train window
18. Argue without shouting.
19. Get told off without crying.
20. Understand fruit machines
21. Walk past a shoe shop
22. Make a decent bacon sandwich
23. Not comment on a strangers clothes
24. Use small amounts of toilet paper
25. Let you sleep off a hangover
26. Drink a pint gracefully
27. Get a round in
28. Throw a punch
29. Do magic tricks
30 .Like your friends
31. Enjoy porn
32. Eat a phal curry
33. Get to the point
34. Buy plain envelopes
35. Take less than 20 mins in the bathroom
36. Sit in a room for 10 mins without saying "I'm cold"
37. Go shopping without calling 20 mates
38. Avoid credit card debt
39. Dive into a pool
40. Assemble furniture
41. Form a rock group
42. Set a VCR
43. Not try and change you
44. Watch a war film
45. Understand why flirting results in violence
46. Spend a day by themselves
47. Go to the toilet in a club by themselves
48. Buy a purse that fits in their pocket.
49. Choose a video quickly.
50. Get to the point

DanMarsden

haha, brilliant.

johnbuoy

John and Jill were about to go into his apartment, and before he could open his door, Jill said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door."

John says, "Well, give me some examples."

Jill proceeds to tell him, "Well, the first way is, if a guy shoves his key into the lock, and opens the door hard, then that means he is a rough lover and that isn't for me."

"The second way is if a man fumbles around and can't seem to find the hole, then that means he is inexperienced and that isn't for me either."

Then Jill said, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?"

John proceeds to say, "Well, first, before I do anything else, I lick the lock."

johnbuoy

25TH ANNIVERSARY

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th aniversary.As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago,the wife asked the husband,"When you first saw my naked body in front of you,what was going through your mind?".
The husband replied,"All i wanted to do was to screw your brains out,and suck your boobs dry."





Then as the wife undress,she asked,"What are you thinking now?"
He replied,"It looks as if i did a pretty good job."

johnbuoy

http://www.richstevens.com/NAKED.swf

DanMarsden

eeep!!!!!! the one with the lock was too graphic for my tastes. :scared:

iaink

You obviously dont know my wife.