British Expats - Indirect taxes/red tape and general bull

I got stopped a month or so ago by the polis and had to leave my passport at the police station for security.

Now I've paid my fine so off I went to pick up my passport, an easy enough job you'd have thought, but Oh No, not in Dubai, 4 visits to the police station, 3 to public prosecutor and twice to Dubai courts, and still I don't have it. I now need another letter from PP (this'll be the third I've bought from them, each for the princely sum of 110Dhs). 3 days of running around and having to speak with unnaturally smelly taxi drivers (haven't got insurance money for write off yet), and what have I got? Apart from a sunburnt bald head of course....

Bugger all.

Thanks Dubai, it's been a pleasure.