I want to go home, but hubby doesn't :(
Oct 4th 2012, 10:27 am
#152
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Dubai
Posts: 4,403
Re: I want to go home, but hubby doesn't :(
Champagne cocktail
1 sugar cube, 2-3 dashes Angostura bitters,Champagne,1 oz brandy
Preparation:
Place the sugar cube in the bottom of a Champagne flute.
soak the sugar cube with the Angostura bitters , add the brandy then top with very cold Champagne.
Oct 4th 2012, 11:33 am
#153
Junior Showtime
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Singapore
Posts: 3,759
Re: I want to go home, but hubby doesn't :(
If at the end of the 3 years my husband were to renege and try to extend our stay I would probably feel emotionally betrayed. Practically I would do everything I could to make best case for return to the UK/US. A job/career at the end of day is just a way to make money - mostly jobs are not an end in themselves. Your husband needs to be reminded that you work to live not live to work.
He also needs to get in touch with being involved with his family. I suspect that his status has gone to his head somewhat and he has distanced himself emotionally. I do hope thats not true.
You are being very loving and generous allowing the period of end of 2013 as the final date - I do hope you can convince him that life is not work.
Oct 4th 2012, 11:48 am
#154
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,869
Re: I want to go home, but hubby doesn't :(
We are going to Singapore early next year for 3 years.
If at the end of the 3 years my husband were to renege and try to extend our stay I would probably feel emotionally betrayed. Practically I would do everything I could to make best case for return to the UK/US. A job/career at the end of day is just a way to make money - mostly jobs are not an end in themselves. Your husband needs to be reminded that you work to live not live to work.
He also needs to get in touch with being involved with his family. I suspect that his status has gone to his head somewhat and he has distanced himself emotionally. I do hope thats not true.
You are being very loving and generous allowing the period of end of 2013 as the final date - I do hope you can convince him that life is not work.
If at the end of the 3 years my husband were to renege and try to extend our stay I would probably feel emotionally betrayed. Practically I would do everything I could to make best case for return to the UK/US. A job/career at the end of day is just a way to make money - mostly jobs are not an end in themselves. Your husband needs to be reminded that you work to live not live to work.
He also needs to get in touch with being involved with his family. I suspect that his status has gone to his head somewhat and he has distanced himself emotionally. I do hope thats not true.
You are being very loving and generous allowing the period of end of 2013 as the final date - I do hope you can convince him that life is not work.
Why does it sometimes sound like this is all about a S&M safe word not being honoured, rather than a suggestion related to work? So if you liked the place, and the partner wasn't too fussed, would it be such a massive betrayal if you suggested staying longer? Why does it sometimes sound like the husband bullied the wife into joining a swingers' club or moving to Mogadishu?
Oct 4th 2012, 11:55 am
#155
Bored liberal
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Over there ----->
Posts: 13,713
Re: I want to go home, but hubby doesn't :(
Why does it sometimes sound like this is all about a S&M safe word not being honoured, rather than a suggestion related to work? So if you liked the place, and the partner wasn't too fussed, would it be such a massive betrayal if you suggested staying longer? Why does it sometimes sound like the husband bullied the wife into joining a swingers' club or moving to Mogadishu?
I rather agree with this. Sometimes you have to remain open-minded and change plans if all is working out. I've said it many times, but if someone spends all their time planning a return 'home' and refuses to settle or make a home where they are actually residing then they are never going to be happy. And of course, without a good income, there are those who won't be satisfied either...
Oct 4th 2012, 12:16 pm
#156
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 13,553
Re: I want to go home, but hubby doesn't :(
We are going to Singapore early next year for 3 years.
If at the end of the 3 years my husband were to renege and try to extend our stay I would probably feel emotionally betrayed. Practically I would do everything I could to make best case for return to the UK/US. A job/career at the end of day is just a way to make money - mostly jobs are not an end in themselves. Your husband needs to be reminded that you work to live not live to work.
He also needs to get in touch with being involved with his family. I suspect that his status has gone to his head somewhat and he has distanced himself emotionally. I do hope thats not true.
You are being very loving and generous allowing the period of end of 2013 as the final date - I do hope you can convince him that life is not work.
If at the end of the 3 years my husband were to renege and try to extend our stay I would probably feel emotionally betrayed. Practically I would do everything I could to make best case for return to the UK/US. A job/career at the end of day is just a way to make money - mostly jobs are not an end in themselves. Your husband needs to be reminded that you work to live not live to work.
He also needs to get in touch with being involved with his family. I suspect that his status has gone to his head somewhat and he has distanced himself emotionally. I do hope thats not true.
You are being very loving and generous allowing the period of end of 2013 as the final date - I do hope you can convince him that life is not work.
Last edited by The Dean; Oct 4th 2012 at 12:17 pm. Reason: v
Oct 4th 2012, 1:43 pm
#157
Big Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,889
Re: I want to go home, but hubby doesn't :(
We are going to Singapore early next year for 3 years.
If at the end of the 3 years my husband were to renege and try to extend our stay I would probably feel emotionally betrayed. Practically I would do everything I could to make best case for return to the UK/US. A job/career at the end of day is just a way to make money - mostly jobs are not an end in themselves. Your husband needs to be reminded that you work to live not live to work.
He also needs to get in touch with being involved with his family. I suspect that his status has gone to his head somewhat and he has distanced himself emotionally. I do hope thats not true.
You are being very loving and generous allowing the period of end of 2013 as the final date - I do hope you can convince him that life is not work.
If at the end of the 3 years my husband were to renege and try to extend our stay I would probably feel emotionally betrayed. Practically I would do everything I could to make best case for return to the UK/US. A job/career at the end of day is just a way to make money - mostly jobs are not an end in themselves. Your husband needs to be reminded that you work to live not live to work.
He also needs to get in touch with being involved with his family. I suspect that his status has gone to his head somewhat and he has distanced himself emotionally. I do hope thats not true.
You are being very loving and generous allowing the period of end of 2013 as the final date - I do hope you can convince him that life is not work.
Oct 4th 2012, 2:04 pm
#158
...---...
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 484
Re: I want to go home, but hubby doesn't :(
I guess the solution would be that if the husband is forced home and away from well paid, secure employment with this emotional blackmail then the wife should become the primary breadwinner back in the UK and the husband can stay at home and look after the house and kids. Of course, the husband should expect no drop in their standard of living at all.
Oct 4th 2012, 3:04 pm
#159
womble
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,675
Re: I want to go home, but hubby doesn't :(
I guess the solution would be that if the husband is forced home and away from well paid, secure employment with this emotional blackmail then the wife should become the primary breadwinner back in the UK and the husband can stay at home and look after the house and kids. Of course, the husband should expect no drop in their standard of living at all.
), but when only one of us works, then we cut our cloth accordingly. We always make joint decisions, and sometimes they end up being compromises. I could have got an amazing job 10 years ago in Lebanon, with a promotion, and a large payrise, but my husband would have been looking at 4 years unemployed, which would have been a career killer at his stage in his career. So I took an ok job in Indonesia, as did he, and it worked out fine; and more importantly, we're still together - key is "compromise".
Oct 4th 2012, 9:46 pm
#161
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: I want to go home, but hubby doesn't :(
We are going to Singapore early next year for 3 years.
If at the end of the 3 years my husband were to renege and try to extend our stay I would probably feel emotionally betrayed. Practically I would do everything I could to make best case for return to the UK/US. A job/career at the end of day is just a way to make money - mostly jobs are not an end in themselves. Your husband needs to be reminded that you work to live not live to work.
He also needs to get in touch with being involved with his family. I suspect that his status has gone to his head somewhat and he has distanced himself emotionally. I do hope thats not true.
You are being very loving and generous allowing the period of end of 2013 as the final date - I do hope you can convince him that life is not work.
If at the end of the 3 years my husband were to renege and try to extend our stay I would probably feel emotionally betrayed. Practically I would do everything I could to make best case for return to the UK/US. A job/career at the end of day is just a way to make money - mostly jobs are not an end in themselves. Your husband needs to be reminded that you work to live not live to work.
He also needs to get in touch with being involved with his family. I suspect that his status has gone to his head somewhat and he has distanced himself emotionally. I do hope thats not true.
You are being very loving and generous allowing the period of end of 2013 as the final date - I do hope you can convince him that life is not work.
Oct 4th 2012, 10:00 pm
#162
Junior Showtime
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Singapore
Posts: 3,759
Re: I want to go home, but hubby doesn't :(
No havent been to Singapore ...yet??
Just been working , making friends and getting on with life.
Nice to see lots of old faces still here
Just been working , making friends and getting on with life.
Nice to see lots of old faces still here
Oct 4th 2012, 10:11 pm
#164
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,646
Re: I want to go home, but hubby doesn't :(
We are going to Singapore early next year for 3 years.
If at the end of the 3 years my husband were to renege and try to extend our stay I would probably feel emotionally betrayed. Practically I would do everything I could to make best case for return to the UK/US. A job/career at the end of day is just a way to make money - mostly jobs are not an end in themselves. Your husband needs to be reminded that you work to live not live to work.
He also needs to get in touch with being involved with his family. I suspect that his status has gone to his head somewhat and he has distanced himself emotionally. I do hope thats not true.
You are being very loving and generous allowing the period of end of 2013 as the final date - I do hope you can convince him that life is not work.
If at the end of the 3 years my husband were to renege and try to extend our stay I would probably feel emotionally betrayed. Practically I would do everything I could to make best case for return to the UK/US. A job/career at the end of day is just a way to make money - mostly jobs are not an end in themselves. Your husband needs to be reminded that you work to live not live to work.
He also needs to get in touch with being involved with his family. I suspect that his status has gone to his head somewhat and he has distanced himself emotionally. I do hope thats not true.
You are being very loving and generous allowing the period of end of 2013 as the final date - I do hope you can convince him that life is not work.
Long time no see,as ever,you bring wisdom.
Oct 4th 2012, 10:19 pm
#165
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2009
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 1,160
Re: I want to go home, but hubby doesn't :(
The key word is 'compromise' but this only works if both parties to a relationship (whatever that relationship may be) agree to compromise. Unfortunately, occasionally the original compromise may have to be revised as circumstances change and this often causes problems.
Meow is absolutely right in that there are some people who will agree to something but only if it suits their particular parameters - ie a defined start and end. Their mind-set is so set to these particular parameters that they are unable to accommodate any notion that what is happening during this period is actually beneficial to them (by them I mean the individual in particular, their spouse and family if they have a family). These individuals can often see their circumstances as something akin to a prison sentence which is something to be endured rather an experience to be embraced, which could/would broaden their outlook on life if only they would allow it.
We have friends back in the UK who are afraid to travel - even to mainland Europe. There's no chance ever of them coming to visit us in Oman - they never visited us in Dubai during the seven years we were there either - despite us offering to cover their travel costs.
We have other UK friends who are so wedded to family and friends that their honeymoon included an extra 18 people and, even now 20 years plus later, they see all these people at least once a week and could never contemplate moving away to a place where this wouldn't be possible.
I suspect that the (now disappeared) OP may fit into one of the two categories mentioned above and that she could, perhaps, cope with a move abroad as long as it had a definite end date.
Both groups of friends mentioned above were horrified when we told them we were moving to Dubai in 2005 (as were the majority of Mr hnd's American ex-work colleagues who thought we were moving to a suburb of either Baghdad or Tehran - go figure) and told us that we'd be back in the UK within two years. Hah, proved them all wrong. Seven years in DXB where we made some really good friends (whom we miss but do and will still see on a regular basis) and now in MCT which we are enjoying enormously.
Roll on this next stage of our 'gap' retirement!
Meow is absolutely right in that there are some people who will agree to something but only if it suits their particular parameters - ie a defined start and end. Their mind-set is so set to these particular parameters that they are unable to accommodate any notion that what is happening during this period is actually beneficial to them (by them I mean the individual in particular, their spouse and family if they have a family). These individuals can often see their circumstances as something akin to a prison sentence which is something to be endured rather an experience to be embraced, which could/would broaden their outlook on life if only they would allow it.
We have friends back in the UK who are afraid to travel - even to mainland Europe. There's no chance ever of them coming to visit us in Oman - they never visited us in Dubai during the seven years we were there either - despite us offering to cover their travel costs.
We have other UK friends who are so wedded to family and friends that their honeymoon included an extra 18 people and, even now 20 years plus later, they see all these people at least once a week and could never contemplate moving away to a place where this wouldn't be possible.
I suspect that the (now disappeared) OP may fit into one of the two categories mentioned above and that she could, perhaps, cope with a move abroad as long as it had a definite end date.
Both groups of friends mentioned above were horrified when we told them we were moving to Dubai in 2005 (as were the majority of Mr hnd's American ex-work colleagues who thought we were moving to a suburb of either Baghdad or Tehran - go figure) and told us that we'd be back in the UK within two years. Hah, proved them all wrong. Seven years in DXB where we made some really good friends (whom we miss but do and will still see on a regular basis) and now in MCT which we are enjoying enormously.
Roll on this next stage of our 'gap' retirement!
