Face81

Ok peeps......... lets post a few jokes on here........ TS's pic is wot got me thinking.......... there is so much out there...... hahahaha..... found some really hilarious stuff.

I am sure Shiva will be dead pleased with these first 2 when he gets back here on Monday.......

Windows Scotland Edition:
http://www.splange.freeserve.co.uk/memes/scotwin.txt

Absolutely hilarious!!!!!!!!

Getting ur kilt laundered:


Might not be Scottish, but it was too funny to leave off:


hahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Benson

a new one I read this weekend.

Thre men in a pub, an Australian, an Irish man and a Scouser. They all recognise a man sitting by himself in the corner of the pub but can't put a name to the face. After a few drinks they relise that he is Jesus. All three of them decide that sending over a drink each would be the least they could do. SO they Ozzy sends over a pint of Fosters, the Irish man sends a pint of Guinnes and the scouser sends over a pint of bitter. After Jesus has drunk all three he comes over to thank the three men. He shakes the hand of the Ozzy and says thank you. Straight away the Ozzy says "my arthritis has clearend up after 30 years" Jesus then shakes the Irish mans hand and says thank you. Immediately the Irsish man says "my back pain has gone after 10 years!" Jesus then approaches the scouser and the scouser says" don't you dare touch me I am on benifit mate!!!

novita77

"CONVERSATION BETWEEN AMERICAN AND ASIAN"

Asian guy is having his "SNACK" ( bread and jam) when an American man chuckling chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Asian ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

American: "You Asian folks eat the whole bread??"

Asian (in a bad mood): "Of course."

American: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them
into croissants and export them to Asia."

The American has a smirk on his face. The Asia listens in silence.

The American persists: "D'ya eat jelly with the bread??"

Asian : "Of Course."

American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and export them to Asia ."

The Asian ( pissed of) then asks: "Do you have sex in America?"

American: "Why of course we do", the American says with a big smirk.

Asian : "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

American: "We throw them away, of course."

Asian : "We don't. In Asia, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and export them to America."

PS:
Just a joke, down bite my head off....

novita77

PANDA

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead.

As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey, man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.

Face81

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.............

U will be getting karma from me for that one when I can send out more karma tomorrow!

Face81

good 1!....... ok u will be getting karma from me when I can...... remind me tomorrow and I will c if it lets me give u some.

Benson

Thanks face, I am new here, (not the UAE) the message board. What is Karma? (is it the stars that appear next to your name? Also when, how and why would you give it to someone?

A man phones his work, "boss, i'm affraid I cant work today"

"why whats wrong with you?"

"Well its tricky", replies the man "I have a problem with my eyes"

"oh dear" replies the boss "what is it? conjunctivitis?"

"not really" replies the man "I just cant see my self working today!"

novita77

You better send me a.s.a.p, i desperately need some karma!!!

novita77

Hi Benson.... welcome abroad...

Face81

just sent u a PM explaining the whole process.........

Novita......used my 24 hr quota......I will have to give u an IOU till I can give u some real karma.

Fairydust

[QUOTE=Benson]Thanks face, I am new here, (not the UAE) the message board. What is Karma? (is it the stars that appear next to your name? Also when, how and why would you give it to someone?

Hi Benson I've no idea what it is either but have pressed the karma button anyway - v funny!!!!

Face81

PM'd u with the needed info!

Truth Speak

This one was called nasty bubgy jump!!

Truth Speak

his ones a remote for the wife or girlfriend - Enjoy ladies!!

Face81

eeeeuuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!