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Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

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Old Mar 25th 2019, 4:36 am
  #16  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Kids are resilient.. Don't worry about uprooting them .

My son moved at 7. He settled in great. Hates the weather though - rest of it is about the same. Remember life is about people, communication and feelings. Not stuff and savings.

I go back to the UK everymonth. Truth is i think life is hard there but people deal with it .They do complain a lot though but at the same time life goes on. There's lots of low cost family options available too. Get a dog.


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Old Mar 25th 2019, 4:40 am
  #17  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

What if you got a job. 5k a month as a teaching assistant in a school makes a massive difference.
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Old Mar 25th 2019, 11:17 am
  #18  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Millhouse love the dog suggestion, if in doubt get a dog

I do have a BA in English Literatue from a non-uk uni and a CELTA certificate in teaching English with teaching experience in London. However never found anything part time that fits around my kids school hours esp with husband not home during the week.
Looked into private tutoring as well as I’m bilingual in English and Arabic but that lasted only a few months.

When we first arrived I had actually applied for TA jobs in my local area without much luck. Might be worth looking around once again if that would sway hubby towards staying in Dubai, now that it’s come to this. A job part time like that would be ideal for me as it works around the children’s school hours and means I can be back home without needing a nanny.
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Old Mar 25th 2019, 12:06 pm
  #19  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Originally Posted by Lul37
ompan thanks for your feedback. Yes in terms of MY personal standard of living I would be downgrading from a 4 bed villa to a 2/3 bed house in the outskirts of London. Not to mention the poor weather which is a big deal for me personally. (Plus the headache of uprooting the children once more, and being worried what kind of schools we get in, no easy feat you must know).

The real issue as Millhouse has figured out, is that my husband has had enough of the nature of his job here. He couldn’t care less about this lovely villa we are currently renting.

I get that he would be able to appreciate it more if he could in fact live inside it more often as he said, and not just on the weekends

Neither does he appreciate the ‘good’ schools here. He would rather pay the high income tax in London as he feels they are paying for much needed council services that he benefits from, than for a profit school company. He also wants his kids to experience ‘real life’ and not the bubble life over here.

So basically he can’t see no positives to Dubai and on top of that as carcajou said maybe it’s the end of the road for us (

My post was trying to understand and get confirmation if we would be better off financially on 85k per year in the UK, compared to 100k per year here in Dubai.

Because the cost of utilities, clothes, groceries and even car related expenses in London (if we get a regular car, not a 4x4) are that much cheaper than in Dubai. Then it ends up being such a marginal difference between 85k London vs 100k Dubai for a family of four. ‘Not worth it being abroad if we cannot put away any savings, and we are better off on home ground’ says hubby. How to argue with that??? Are we satisfied living a comfortable luxurious lifestyle if we cannot in fact save for a rainy day?? He wants to be able to pay off the mortgage on our small flat (which we’re renting out), not just the interest and he cannot.

But my worry is that on 85k back home, we would have downgraded drastically (well for me), and still not be able to make any savings even whilst living in London. But at least we’ll have a better work life balance? Maybe, can’t be any worse than this nonstop travel I suppose.

In terms of job satisfaction I have tried to ask him to talk to his seniors about his constant travel, but he doesn’t want to threaten to leave because it might damage his future job prospects esp if he hasn’t got anything lined up yet. He doesn’t see his position with them open to change as someone said on here, the majority of the work is with Saudi clients, hence ‘all roads lead to Saudi’ in his line of work.

Best of luck for you in Muscat, I hope you enjoy it and it’s financially viable for you as well, certainly will be more than Dubai
You might have to question a lot of things and while you might be living in a nice villa now, it's just a rental and you aren't saving anything. But the way it sounds is that you might end up unhappy in London and won't save either, so I would seriously look at other locations. You already mention that the weather will be a big deal for you, so a move to London will mean less outdoor space. Winter is winter but even if the summers in London are generally warmer and sunnier than other parts of the UK, you could be far better off in another location where you get more space and actually have a garden to enjoy the nicer days. Since I moved to Ireland, I spend so much more time outdoors compared to Kent because of many things. House with garden compared to apartment. shorter commute, longer summer evenings and because we bought during crash, obviously don't have a huge mortgage which helps too. Of course every life is different but if you were living in let's say Cornwall with lower salary, you might still both end up happier and have more spending money to go on holidays etc.?
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Old Mar 25th 2019, 12:16 pm
  #20  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Originally Posted by Moses2013
You might have to question a lot of things and while you might be living in a nice villa now, it's just a rental and you aren't saving anything. But the way it sounds is that you might end up unhappy in London and won't save either, so I would seriously look at other locations. You already mention that the weather will be a big deal for you, so a move to London will mean less outdoor space. Winter is winter but even if the summers in London are generally warmer and sunnier than other parts of the UK, you could be far better off in another location where you get more space and actually have a garden to enjoy the nicer days. Since I moved to Ireland, I spend so much more time outdoors compared to Kent because of many things. House with garden compared to apartment. shorter commute, longer summer evenings and because we bought during crash, obviously don't have a huge mortgage which helps too. Of course every life is different but if you were living in let's say Cornwall with lower salary, you might still both end up happier and have more spending money to go on holidays etc.?
A man who is tired of London is tired... no wait he moves to Ireland!
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Old Mar 25th 2019, 12:19 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Originally Posted by Millhouse
A man who is tired of London is tired... no wait he moves to Ireland!
Problem with OP is that she will end up unhappy in any city in Northern Europe and the hubby will still be stressed with commute, so you're probably right.
Hubby change job in Dubai and wife get a part time job:-)
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Old Mar 26th 2019, 9:33 am
  #22  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Originally Posted by Lul37
ompan thanks for your feedback. Yes in terms of MY personal standard of living I would be downgrading from a 4 bed villa to a 2/3 bed house in the outskirts of London. Not to mention the poor weather which is a big deal for me personally. (Plus the headache of uprooting the children once more, and being worried what kind of schools we get in, no easy feat you must know).

The real issue as Millhouse has figured out, is that my husband has had enough of the nature of his job here. He couldn’t care less about this lovely villa we are currently renting.

I get that he would be able to appreciate it more if he could in fact live inside it more often as he said, and not just on the weekends

Neither does he appreciate the ‘good’ schools here. He would rather pay the high income tax in London as he feels they are paying for much needed council services that he benefits from, than for a profit school company. He also wants his kids to experience ‘real life’ and not the bubble life over here.

So basically he can’t see no positives to Dubai and on top of that as carcajou said maybe it’s the end of the road for us (

My post was trying to understand and get confirmation if we would be better off financially on 85k per year in the UK, compared to 100k per year here in Dubai.

Because the cost of utilities, clothes, groceries and even car related expenses in London (if we get a regular car, not a 4x4) are that much cheaper than in Dubai. Then it ends up being such a marginal difference between 85k London vs 100k Dubai for a family of four. ‘Not worth it being abroad if we cannot put away any savings, and we are better off on home ground’ says hubby. How to argue with that??? Are we satisfied living a comfortable luxurious lifestyle if we cannot in fact save for a rainy day?? He wants to be able to pay off the mortgage on our small flat (which we’re renting out), not just the interest and he cannot.

But my worry is that on 85k back home, we would have downgraded drastically (well for me), and still not be able to make any savings even whilst living in London. But at least we’ll have a better work life balance? Maybe, can’t be any worse than this nonstop travel I suppose.

In terms of job satisfaction I have tried to ask him to talk to his seniors about his constant travel, but he doesn’t want to threaten to leave because it might damage his future job prospects esp if he hasn’t got anything lined up yet. He doesn’t see his position with them open to change as someone said on here, the majority of the work is with Saudi clients, hence ‘all roads lead to Saudi’ in his line of work.

Best of luck for you in Muscat, I hope you enjoy it and it’s financially viable for you as well, certainly will be more than Dubai
If he is so unhappy with his job it appears something needs to change, either his work pattern with current employer which sounds difficult, or changing jobs. If you do come back 85k (4.5k net a month), will be comfortable from UK standards (big reduction from your current living standards), and I dont think you will be able to save anything here unless you also end up working here, job market is good here finding jobs should be easy, despite brexit drama. If you can happily stay in dubai, to save money you can make some adjustments to save such as a slightly smaller property etc. In the end happiness is more important than money.
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Old Mar 27th 2019, 9:04 am
  #23  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Originally Posted by Millhouse
A man who is tired of London is tired... no wait he moves to Ireland!
We are all full up over here!
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Old Mar 27th 2019, 11:49 am
  #24  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Thanks all, unlikely he will find a job in Dubai better than the one he’s in now, it’s been such a slow start to the year.

Am considering moving back to the UK with the kids on my own for a year before hubby joins us. Hope we are making the right choice and that it gives us a chance to save up abit.
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Old Mar 27th 2019, 12:21 pm
  #25  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Originally Posted by Lul37
Thanks all, unlikely he will find a job in Dubai better than the one he’s in now, it’s been such a slow start to the year.

Am considering moving back to the UK with the kids on my own for a year before hubby joins us. Hope we are making the right choice and that it gives us a chance to save up abit.
I still wouldn't rule out other locations in the UK if I were you. Of course we're all different but unless you're a hardcore London fan, I don't see why London would offer the family a better lifestyle.
Maybe because your friends and family are there but even if you were living in let's say Bristol (never been & just example) you are still only less than 2 hours away from London.
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Old Mar 27th 2019, 12:42 pm
  #26  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Moses2013 possibly in a few years after moving back to London we might consider moving out of London. It all depends where hubby finds work. I see no point in him being stuck in a longer commute and me living somewhere and being miserably lonely. Would feel like I still was living abroad minus the great weather. Would rather in that case we all move back into our tiny flat in London (all squashed up), and save on rent instead.
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Old Mar 27th 2019, 1:13 pm
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Originally Posted by Lul37
Moses2013 possibly in a few years after moving back to London we might consider moving out of London. It all depends where hubby finds work. I see no point in him being stuck in a longer commute and me living somewhere and being miserably lonely. Would feel like I still was living abroad minus the great weather. Would rather in that case we all move back into our tiny flat in London (all squashed up), and save on rent instead.
I get your points but a smaller city might offer same salary, larger home, less commute and if you sell the apartment in London and can even save more, that will get you a small holiday home further south, so you basically have everything sorted:-).
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Old Mar 27th 2019, 3:36 pm
  #28  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

What about trimming costs in Dubai in order to save money? Apartment not villa, smaller car etc...might be preferable to "squashing into a flat" in London?
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Old Mar 27th 2019, 6:52 pm
  #29  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Originally Posted by Jingsamichty
What about trimming costs in Dubai in order to save money? Apartment not villa, smaller car etc...might be preferable to "squashing into a flat" in London?
Don't be so ridiculous.. Better to keep hubby trapped in the golden Saudi handcuffs and live it up in London instead.

Moving to the Uk and leaving him here to fund the wife's comfortable existance in the uk sounds like a path to suicide or the common expat combo of prositutes and resentment.. Only May could dream up a worse compromise.
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Old Mar 27th 2019, 7:18 pm
  #30  
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Default Re: Hubby wants to move back to London from Dubai

Millhouse that is unfair to say. I’m the one who’s agreed to move back to his home country despite being happier in the Middle East where I’m from originally. When I married hubby at just 25 years old, I left my all my friends and family to start a new life abroad in the UK. It was hard for me but I adjusted. Now I’m being forced to move back because he’s so unhappy over here in Dubai. Even if we downgraded, he would still be unhappy and want to move back to London, if not this year then in the next three years. I’m not going to ‘live it up’ don’t u worry, I’ll be too busy trying to be in catchment of oversubscribed secondary schools to go drown my sorrows at the local pub.
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