How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
#1
peterparker
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 196
How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
How difficult is it for a Brit. male who has lived a good quality western life in London and never been to ME except for a week in Egypt to go to work in Saudi (Riyadh) - without his wife and kids (wife does not want to go)? I'm asking because I knew a single guy in Libya (years ago) who went bonkers in 2 years.
#2
Onwards and Upwards!
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 884
Re: How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
How difficult is it for a Brit. male who has lived a good quality western life in London and never been to ME except for a week in Egypt to go to work in Saudi (Riyadh) - without his wife and kids (wife does not want to go)? I'm asking because I knew a single guy in Libya (years ago) who went bonkers in 2 years.
#3
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Joined: Mar 2013
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Re: How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
Johnnyboy11 speaks the truth. I was the same age as you when I came here. After three years here, two of them without my wife, I'd say there's a contradiction between the phrase "family man" and a desire to emigrate alone to Riyadh. There's no financial gain that will outweigh the emotional cost to you all.
Don't forget that your "tax-free" salary will only be guaranteed if you pass HMRC's relatively new criteria for being non-resident for tax. With a family and house in the UK, you will have to spend very few days in the UK each year thus minimising the amount of time you can spend with them without paying to meet them outside the UK somewhere. That will eat into your saving potential.
As someone whose been married for over 21 years, I'd say that if your wife doesn't want to go then that's an indication that your future doesn't lie in Saudi. Just my life experience...
Don't forget that your "tax-free" salary will only be guaranteed if you pass HMRC's relatively new criteria for being non-resident for tax. With a family and house in the UK, you will have to spend very few days in the UK each year thus minimising the amount of time you can spend with them without paying to meet them outside the UK somewhere. That will eat into your saving potential.
As someone whose been married for over 21 years, I'd say that if your wife doesn't want to go then that's an indication that your future doesn't lie in Saudi. Just my life experience...
#4
Re: How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
I am 46, currently in Saudi and my family also remained behind at home. Previous to this I was based in Nigeria and also Cameroon, needless to say also alone. Period of 8 years
All I can say on this matter.....it really isn't worth it.
All I can say on this matter.....it really isn't worth it.
#5
Re: How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
How difficult is it for a Brit. male who has lived a good quality western life in London and never been to ME except for a week in Egypt to go to work in Saudi (Riyadh) - without his wife and kids (wife does not want to go)? I'm asking because I knew a single guy in Libya (years ago) who went bonkers in 2 years.
Saudi is a shit hole no arguments , don't listen otherwise. You go for cash , make your money then exit.
#6
peterparker
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 196
Re: How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
Many thanks for the replies.
#7
Hit 16's
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine
Posts: 13,112
Re: How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
I was a few years older than you when I started down a similar path nearly 8 years ago, although in UAE and now Morocco. Family at home, one sprog (the eldest) in uni when I started, one srpog (the youngest) in uni now. It's worked; its not ideal but then I was thoroughly pissed off with the companies I worked for in the UK; I became thoroughly pissed off with the one I worded for in UAE, but at least I stashed some cash and got a suntan.
I doubt I could have stuck it in Saudi, although I know of those who adapt to camp / compound life. (I used to go to Saudi frequently when I was in UAE, and I hate the place with a passion.) Each to his own.
My only advice is talk it through thoroughly and frankly with your wife (and your kids if you think its appropriate), and get a clear picture of what your living conditions will be like in Saudi and, therefore, whether you'll be able to adapt to them.
I doubt I could have stuck it in Saudi, although I know of those who adapt to camp / compound life. (I used to go to Saudi frequently when I was in UAE, and I hate the place with a passion.) Each to his own.
My only advice is talk it through thoroughly and frankly with your wife (and your kids if you think its appropriate), and get a clear picture of what your living conditions will be like in Saudi and, therefore, whether you'll be able to adapt to them.
#8
Re: How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
However, to the OP, like someone else said, if you're wife doesn't want to go that could say something.
On the other hand, we don't know about the state of your marriage, but there are many men who've has a second bachelor's life in Saudi.
Only you can decide if it's worth it. PM me if you want more info about Riyadh.
#9
Re: How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
Personally, having gone through what I have, twice, don't do it! It'll put a strain on your marriage that will possibly destroy it, leaving you with nothing but health issues and depression.
She won't come with you, your home is with your family. Let someone who is single, or family prepared to go with them take the job instead.
She won't come with you, your home is with your family. Let someone who is single, or family prepared to go with them take the job instead.
#10
Re: How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
You do never have anything positive to say about the place though, do you.
However, to the OP, like someone else said, if you're wife doesn't want to go that could say something.
On the other hand, we don't know about the state of your marriage, but there are many men who've has a second bachelor's life in Saudi.
Only you can decide if it's worth it. PM me if you want more info about Riyadh.
However, to the OP, like someone else said, if you're wife doesn't want to go that could say something.
On the other hand, we don't know about the state of your marriage, but there are many men who've has a second bachelor's life in Saudi.
Only you can decide if it's worth it. PM me if you want more info about Riyadh.
#11
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2010
Location: Oz, but miss the sand!
Posts: 129
Re: How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
I have recently posted on another thread but will do again. For what it's worth. Here is a wife perspective.
I feel you have to focus on the reason you're considering it in the first place. I can understand your wife not wanting to go. I was pretty much the same as I didn't want to disrupt our children's schooling. But the lure of the money was too good to pass up. We have 4 kids to put through schools and university and pay a mortgage.
Saudi was an opportunity for us to do that. We discussed it and decided the best solution was for me to stay behind. I had plenty to do to keep busy.
One of the challenges I faced was not having a support network at home. No family support. Also with my Mr Fixit gone I had to organise for tradesmen to handle repairs around the home. That was a new thing for me, but may not be an issue for your wife.
One of the difficulties my husband faced was the separation of single men and families. Not being permitted to sit in the family areas for dining etc. and being such a strong family man it was so alien. But he dealt with it. As for a social life well he is a solitary individual and not hugely social. So it wasn't an issue.
Regular communication via the Internet was paramount and kept us sane. I can't stress that enough. We spoke every day, just like we would do when he was working back at home. We would talk about the everyday things and that kept it normal. Plus the children would talk with & see him regularly via Skype etc. So he had never been absent from their lives. He was and continues to be very much a part of their life.
He would come home after 90 days for a couple of weeks and then return. After a few years and as the children got older I was able to visit him in Saudi and Bahrain.
We knew it was a huge sacrifice but worth it in the long run. We did it for 8 years. The first 5 years my husband lived in Saudi. The last few he relocated to Bahrain as he fortunately worked in
Khobar.
He's sadly finished up now as projects got pulled due to the drop in oil. He doesn't work in oil & gas but in other engineering disciplines.
And we're happy to be together again. Except I don't really enjoy sharing the bed, I got very used to having all to myself. Cheers.
Best of luck.
I feel you have to focus on the reason you're considering it in the first place. I can understand your wife not wanting to go. I was pretty much the same as I didn't want to disrupt our children's schooling. But the lure of the money was too good to pass up. We have 4 kids to put through schools and university and pay a mortgage.
Saudi was an opportunity for us to do that. We discussed it and decided the best solution was for me to stay behind. I had plenty to do to keep busy.
One of the challenges I faced was not having a support network at home. No family support. Also with my Mr Fixit gone I had to organise for tradesmen to handle repairs around the home. That was a new thing for me, but may not be an issue for your wife.
One of the difficulties my husband faced was the separation of single men and families. Not being permitted to sit in the family areas for dining etc. and being such a strong family man it was so alien. But he dealt with it. As for a social life well he is a solitary individual and not hugely social. So it wasn't an issue.
Regular communication via the Internet was paramount and kept us sane. I can't stress that enough. We spoke every day, just like we would do when he was working back at home. We would talk about the everyday things and that kept it normal. Plus the children would talk with & see him regularly via Skype etc. So he had never been absent from their lives. He was and continues to be very much a part of their life.
He would come home after 90 days for a couple of weeks and then return. After a few years and as the children got older I was able to visit him in Saudi and Bahrain.
We knew it was a huge sacrifice but worth it in the long run. We did it for 8 years. The first 5 years my husband lived in Saudi. The last few he relocated to Bahrain as he fortunately worked in
Khobar.
He's sadly finished up now as projects got pulled due to the drop in oil. He doesn't work in oil & gas but in other engineering disciplines.
And we're happy to be together again. Except I don't really enjoy sharing the bed, I got very used to having all to myself. Cheers.
Best of luck.
#13
Re: How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
I have sent you a PM
#14
Re: How difficult is it for a 43 year old Brit. family man to go to Riyadh alone?
If you're a "Family guy" you'll be just fine.